Reckless Scotland

by Vane, Victoria

  Grasping her arms while she gained her legs, his cousin surveyed her dejected features before enfolding her in a tight hug. Without a bit of hesitation, she sank into his arms, as if desperate for comfort. Over the top of her head, Liam’s dismayed gaze darted to Calum’s, reflecting his own growing concern. Uncertain of what troubled her, he shook his head at Liam.

  His smile slipping, he pulled free to tip Mairi’s head upward to face him. “Are you all right, lass?”

  “Aye,” she mumbled and glanced away. “Weary is all.”

  As Calum dismounted, he released a sigh at her weak excuse. Nay, she was not all right in the least. The blazing fire that usually burned bright within his sister had been doused and left to smolder, and her charming spirit diminished. Saints, he should’ve disregarded her wishes and strung MacRae up by his blasted toes in his owned damned courtyard amongst his clan.

  Liam lifted an arm around her shoulders. “Come, Cousin. Let’s get you inside and into bed.”

  Mairi darted ahead, out of Liam’s hold, toward the front steps. Her clipped movements screamed of her agitation.

  Anxious to soothe her distress, Calum called after her. “Mairi?”

  Pausing on the first stair, she twisted to peer at him. “Aye?”

  He spied the marked sadness that creased her pale features. The sight tugged at his heart. “I’m sorry I could not bring you home sooner. Forgive me.”

  ’Twas a failing he’d have to live with, his inability to rescue her from whatever misfortune MacRae might’ve brought upon her.

  Her chin wobbled with emotion while torchlight glinted on the tears brimming in her light eyes. He fully expected her to turn and flee inside the safety of the keep, but she ran full force at him. Spreading his arms wide, he held his stance as she slammed against his chest with a solid oomph and circled her arms around his middle.

  “’Tis not your fault. I should’ve never left without word. ’Tis my own damned fault. I hope that you can forgive me for all the troubled I’ve caused.”

  “Nay, that’s enough of that. What’s done is done. I’m merely glad you’re home where you belong.” Cuddling her close, he placed a kiss atop her head. “I’ve missed you, Mairi. I’m here whenever you need me. Always.”

  Squeezing him tight, she nodded against his chest. “I’ve missed you, too, Calum.”

  When she stepped out of his embrace, she lifted her mantle to swipe away stray tears. She proffered a humorless smile that did not quite reach her eyes and shifted to face Liam. “I nearly forgot to ask. What of your babe?”

  Calum almost snorted. For the past sennight, his cousin had gone on about little else since Nora had given birth to their firstborn. Not that he would criticize his kin. ’Twas a sentiment Calum understood well after Arabella had given birth to their son, Cormac. Each time he saw his little lad’s perfect face, a deep sense of pride swelled in his chest.

  Pure delight stretched Liam’s cheeks wide with a pleased grin. “My Nora has given me a beautiful daughter which we’ve named Sorcha. I cannot wait for you to meet my wee lass.”

  “Oh, Liam.” Mairi threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you and Nora.”

  “Thank you.” Liam patted her back and pried her arms away, nudging her toward the front entrance. “Go on, now. Seek your rest, Cousin. There shall be time to catch up on the morrow.”

  Nodding in agreement, she smiled though the brightness ceased to reach the dullness in her eyes. Calum followed behind with Liam, watching her closely, as she retreated inside.

  “Did you kill him?” Liam murmured.

  “Nay, ’twas not because I did not wish to,” he scoffed. “The arse would not show his face. Instead, his brother handed her over. Then, she pleaded with me to return home.” He shook his head. “I could not deny her. Not after seeing the hurt plastered across her features.”

  Liam frowned. “What do you suppose happened?”

  That was what troubled him most. “I know not. She’s not spoken a word of it yet.”

  “Do not fret, Calum.” Liam clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Our wives shall find out the truth.”

  “I hope you’re right.” In fact, ’twas precisely what he was counting on.

  *

  Sunlight spilled through the panes of glass in her bedchamber window, warming Mairi’s face and neck. Lacking the will to move, she scrunched her heavy-lidded eyes tighter against the brightness. So far, the shelter of home had not quite brought her the peace of mind she sought.

  Beleaguered with horrid dreams, she’d spent the remainder of her restless eve, tossing and turning, unable to find comfort in her own bed. Everything seemed different—changed. Or mayhap, ’twas her who’d changed. Either way, she questioned if she might ever find a measure of solace again.

  At present, the feat was a sheer impossibility.

  Her head ached from her flood of tears over the past few days. And the tumult of thoughts whirring around in her head amplified the pounding in her temples. Not to mention, every blasted time she closed her eyes, the memory of Aaron’s hurt features swam in her mind, cracking another shard of her already shattered heart. She rubbed at the twinge that had taken up residence in the vicinity of her chest.

  For Christ’s sake, why could she not banish the man from her head altogether as simply as he’d discarded her from his life?

  Was this the anguish her Aunt Elena and Fraser had suffered through in their years apart? How the devil had the pair managed to dine in the same hall on occasion? The mere thought of facing Aaron again was unfathomable.

  A light tap at the door drew her from her troubled musings. A sigh slipped from her lips as the door hinges creaked. She cracked her eyes open as Arabella’s red head poked inside.

  Her anxious green gaze sought out Mairi’s. “May Nora and I come in?”

  Even though she desired privacy to sort through her tangle of thoughts, she could not bring herself to refuse her friends. Resigned, she nodded and shifted to sit upright against the pillows.

  Carrying Cormac on her hip, Arabella eased the door wider for Nora, who cradled her newborn daughter in her arms.

  Perceptive as ever, Nora paused in the entryway. “Are you sure you wish a bit of company? We can return later, if you like.”

  “Nay, of course not. Please, come in.” Mairi forced a smile. “I’m eager to see your little one.”

  With a pleased grin, the brunette ambled across the chamber to the far side of the bed, permitting Mairi the first glimpse of Sorcha. “She’s eager to meet you as well.”

  The aching heart shifted in her chest at the sight of the perfect, slumbering babe in her mother’s arms. Just when she’d imagined her tears had ceased, moisture gathered in her eyes. Cursing the sweep of emotion, she dabbed at her eyes with the sleeves of her nightgown.

  “Truly, she’s beautiful, Nora. Forgive me, ladies. I fear I’m not good company.”

  Within moments, both women closed ranks around her. Easing onto the bed, Arabella and Nora balanced a bairn in one arm and hugged Mairi with the other. Settling on either side of her, the two women offered kind, sympathetic smiles which nearly drew more tears from Mairi. Saints, she’d been naught but a blubbering mess the past two days.

  “Mairi, you’ve never hesitated to stand by either of us when we needed someone,” Arabella remarked. “Why would we desert you when you need us?”

  Nora’s smile slid into a frown. “We’ve all been so worried about you.”

  “Saints, aye. I thought Calum would’ve paced himself to death.” Arabella snorted. “He, Liam, Patrick and a handful of the men tried the pass the first night you were taken. But, part of the trail crumbled beneath their feet before they could reach the top.”

  “Aye, Niall informed me,” Mairi mumbled.

  “Niall?” Nora queried.

  “One of the MacRaes. A friend of Aaron’s actually.” She ducked her head and rolled the fur coverlet between her fingers. “I vow I never meant to worry any of you, nor did I wish
for Calum, Liam, or anyone else to risk their lives searching for me.”

  Arabella grasped Mairi’s fidgeting hand. “Of course, ’twas not your intent. No one in their right mind believes that for one instant. But, they’re your kin and they love you dearly, Mairi. I’m certain you would’ve done the same for them.”

  Of course, she would’ve. Family meant everything to her. There was little she would not do for the sake of her kin which caused her to regret her rash decision to leave of her own volition even more.

  Pinching her nose between her thumb and forefinger, she shook her head. “I wish I’d never left with Connor.”

  Everything in her life had gone awry since that thoughtless, fateful choice.

  “Connor?” Arabella exclaimed in surprise. “Aaron’s brother, Connor?”

  “Aye, the same.” She nodded. “The silly lad told me that Aaron was near death.”

  The redhead exchanged a triumphant look with Nora. “I was right after all.”

  Mairi frowned at the pair. “Right about what?”

  “Well, you see, your brother assumed MacRae had stolen you away,” Nora explained. “But, Arabella suspected you might’ve left of your own free will.”

  “Aye, I did. ’Twas the most foolish decision of my life,” she muttered.

  “Your brother…” Arabella hesitated, glancing down at Cormac in her lap. “You know how he worries. He feared Aaron might’ve harmed you in some manner. Or, that he might’ve…that is, I mean to say, that the two of you…”

  Mairi closed her eyes as a wash of shame swept over her. With anyone else, she would’ve denied the truth but Arabella and Nora were her closest friends. Both women had entrusted her with their deepest secrets, she owed the pair the same respect. Neither woman would condemn her for the choices she made.

  “We did,” she confessed in a whisper. Fresh tears blurred her field of vision. Speaking the truth hardly lessened the burden or pain of her loss.

  Arabella’s spine snapped straight as an arrow, her countenance darkening with a scowl. “Did he hurt you, Mairi? You must tell me right this instant. If so, I vow I’ll have Calum—”

  “Nay,” Mairi rushed to assure the redhead before she worked herself into a state. “He was…that part was…pleasant.”

  “Pleasant?” Arabella raised a dubious brow.

  Mairi rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”

  Saints, she could not begin to put her feelings into words. The intimacy she shared with Aaron far transcended pleasant. The soul-shattering connection between them had left her shaken and breathless. Her love for Aaron had overflowed, spilling over into a deep sense of belonging, as if she’d always belonged in his arms. That naught could tear them apart, until it did.

  “Afterward…he asked me to marry him.”

  “What? In truth?” Arabella screeched, rousing Sorcha in Nora’s arms.

  Rocking the babe back and forth, Nora’s dark gaze narrowed on Mairi. “Is that not what you hoped for?”

  “Aye,” she admitted. For more than a year, she’d foolishly dreamed of the day Aaron would come for her, confess his undying love, and sweep her away. What a silly, girlish fantasy.

  Arabella frowned. “What happened?”

  “I told him of Patrick, and that I could not accept until I ended our arrangement.”

  For a few moments, Arabella and Nora peered at each other as confusion clouded their features.

  Nora spoke up, “I do not quite understand.”

  Mairi grasped the reasons for his upset, but wished he’d merely given her a chance to explain. Instead, he’d let his distorted insecurities step to the forefront, destroying both of them. Then again, she should’ve informed him of the whole affair with Patrick from the start and expressed her intent not to follow through with the agreement.

  “He believed I set out to deceive him. That I had no wish to truly wed him and I’d merely used him.”

  “Why the devil would he think such a thing?” Arabella growled. “You have no wish to marry MacEwan. Did you tell him of your plans to end the agreement?”

  “Nay, he did not spare me a moment to explain. I hurt him. If you had seen his face…”

  The memory was too new, the wound still too fresh. The pain stung now as much as it had when it had happened. She’d never once wavered in her love for him. How could he have ever doubted her?

  “So, he sent for your brother in a fit of anger?” Nora surmised with a frown.

  Another wretched tear slipped free as she nodded.

  Arabella worriedly glanced at Mairi. “What do you plan to do now? Surely, ’tis not the end of things between the two of you. It cannot be.”

  She did not wish to believe it any more than her friend, but the truth was there before her eyes. “Aye, Arabella. I fear ’tis over.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Mairi accomplished little more than piddling around her bedchamber over the next three days. Unable to find the effort to force a smile for the sake of her kin, she locked herself away, seeking a bit of privacy as she learned to cope with a broken heart.

  Sinking into despair and wallowing in regret would not spare her a speck of pain or mend the piercing wound in her chest. Not to say the hurt had slackened by any measure. In fact, the passage of days without Aaron stung more. But, what other choice did she have? She and Aaron had both made their decisions and now they must live with the consequences.

  One such consequence was set to arrive later in the day. ’Twas no point delaying the inevitable with MacEwan any longer than necessary. Though, she had no liking for the task that lay ahead of her any more than the one she currently faced.

  Sucking in a deep breath, she lifted a hand to lightly tap on the solar door, praying her brother was anywhere else but inside. It had taken her all morning to muster the courage to speak to Calum. Alas, he beckoned her to enter and she muttered a curse.

  Mairi eased the door open and slipped inside, glancing around the chamber. She found him seated in his chair near the hearth holding Cormac in his lap. He stuck out his tongue and the little lad gurgled with laughter.

  Her brother glanced at her with a grin. “Ah, look who had decided to pay a visit. ’Tis your Aunt Mairi.” He motioned to the chair opposite him. “Come, have a seat with us.”

  Despite her apprehension, she crossed the chamber to join him. “Where’s Arabella?”

  “She offered to watch Sorcha while Nora and Liam have a nap.” He playfully rolled his eyes. “Odd, but I do not recall the same gesture when I wished a nap with my wife after Cormac was born.”

  Settling in the seat across from her brother, she chuckled. “Ah well, ’tis Liam we’re discussing.”

  “Aye, you have a point. Are you feeling better?” He casually asked while bouncing his giggling son on his knee.

  Nay and, in truth, she doubted if she might ever feel better. But, her brother did not need to know the truth, so she stretched the truth. “Aye, much.”

  “You know, you’re no better a liar than Liam.” He snorted. “You’ve been unable to pass off a falsehood since you were a wee lass. Try again, Mairi.”

  Leaning back in the chair, she heaved an exasperated sigh. “I suppose Arabella has spoken to you.”

  “Revealed your secrets, you mean?” He shook his head. “Nay. Despite my badgering, she’s held her tongue.”

  “That’s surprising,” she admitted. “I suspected she might’ve shared the tale.”

  “She values your and Nora’s friendship. She would not betray that trust unless she feared either of you were in danger. Besides, I thought if I waited long enough, you might come around to speak to me on your own.” He shrugged. “You and I have always been able to talk. Now should be no different.”

  Saints, she adored her brother’s practical nature. Even as a young girl who’d often gotten into mischief, he’d never scolded her or forced a confession from her. He’d merely bided his time and waited for her conscience to get the better of her.

  She sm
iled at him. “I’m glad you’re my brother, Calum.”

  “And I’m thankful you’re my sister.” The same deep understanding he’d never failed to provide her reflected in his light blue eyes. “’Tis good to see a smile cross your lips.”

  Her grin eased into a frown. “I’ve had my fair share of regrets of late, but putting you and Liam at risk is the one I regret most. I know not what I would’ve done if something had happened to either of you. For that, I am deeply sorry.”

  “We’ve discussed this already. Neither Liam nor I blame you in slightest.”

  Glancing away toward the fire, she bit her lip. “I left of my own free will, Calum. So aye, I claim full responsibility for my actions.”

  Tucking Cormac in his arm, he grunted. “I thought as much.”

  Her gaze darted to his. “You did?”

  He tossed her a droll stare. “Do not forget that I, too, witnessed you and Aaron together. I noted the way he sought to protect you when I entered that chamber the year before. I had no trouble reading the longing in his eyes when he looked at you. I’m a man, Mairi. I comprehend more than you give me credit for at times.” A frown creased his brow. “I also fully grasp what might occur when two people drawn to one another are in close proximity.”

  His keen observation caught her off guard and her cheeks burned from her mortification. Saints alive, she dared not speak of that aspect of her time with Aaron. Not with her older brother. “I…I…”

  “You are a woman grown, Mairi. You make your own decisions and do not owe me any explanations.” As Cormac slipped into a light slumber, Calum leaned over the chair to place the bairn in the wooden cradle at his feet. When he leaned back his in seat, a pensive expression crossed his features. “Do you love him?”

  Her brother was no fool. ’Twas no use denying what was painfully obvious to everyone close to her.