She barked out a laugh. “Someone’s awfully cocky.”
I lifted a shoulder. “Just stating the facts.”
After that, our conversation turned to other topics, but I couldn’t get what she’d said out of my mind. In fact, it was rare that Olivia wasn’t on my mind. And as I fell asleep that night, I wondered if I’d ever get to meet her. If I’d ever have the chance to change her mind about sex. Because if it were up to me—I’d prove to her that toe-curling kisses and mind-blowing orgasms were, in fact, very real.
Chapter Seven
Olivia
“Hey.” Connor’s voice echoed through the speaker on my phone, filling my house with his presence. “What are you doing?”
Boy was his voice sexy. Deep and rich. I kept trying to imagine the man behind it.
It had been weeks since we’d started talking, and we rarely went a day without checking in. I felt like I knew so much about him, and yet, I still had no idea what he looked like. I had an image of him in my head, but I had no way of knowing if it fit him. It was both exciting and infuriating, but it wasn’t like I was going to ask him to send me a selfie.
I crouched down, filling Luna’s bowls with fresh food and water. “I just got home. I’m feeding Luna.”
“Hey, Lunakins,” he called in a cutesy voice that made me smile. She weaved through my legs before darting for the food bowl.
“How was your day?” I asked.
“Mostly good.” I could hear the smile in his voice, but I also sensed his exhaustion. “I had my final doctor’s appointment and officially graduated from physical therapy.”
“That’s great!” I said, genuinely excited for him. “Does that mean you’ll get to go back in the field?”
“Not yet,” he said, and I couldn’t get a read on his tone.
“Still, it’s a step in the right direction. And one that definitely calls for a celebration.”
“I’d love that, but I don’t think it’s in the cards.”
“No? Why not?” I placed the food bag back in the pantry and went over to the chair that looked out my big front window.
“Some of the guys are out on a mission. We lost coms with them, and…” He blew out a breath. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.”
I placed a hand to my chest, suddenly realizing that easily could have been Connor. He’d been injured—not that long ago. But I’d never stopped to consider the very real danger he faced. Hadn’t wanted to.
I didn’t push for more. Whether he didn’t want to talk about it or wasn’t permitted to, it didn’t matter. Either way, he was concerned. He might no longer be a SEAL, but his job was no less hazardous.
“I’ll be thinking about them. I hope they’re okay.”
“Thanks,” he grunted. “It’s part of the job. It’s what we’re trained to do. But that doesn’t make it any easier.”
I nodded, absorbing his words. I just wanted him to know that I was there for him, that I was listening. That I cared. Because whether I liked it or not, admitted it or not, I was invested in this man. I went to sleep thinking about him. When I woke up, he was the first thing on my mind. And talking to him was often the best part of my day.
“So… How are you enjoying our latest read?” I asked, sensing he needed a change of subject.
“I wanted to talk to you about that. I’m not going to be able to finish it.”
“No problem,” I said. “I understand if you’re too busy or distracted with what’s going on at work.”
“That’s not it.” I heard rustling and wondered if he was lying down. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine him and what he was doing. “I don’t want to read a story that contains domestic abuse.”
His answer surprised me. I’d assumed—given the things he must see in his line of work—that it wouldn’t faze him. I hadn’t even given it a second thought.
“Even if the main character overcomes it?” It was sort of a spoiler, but I was speaking in general terms.
“I’m all for it, for overcoming adversity, but…” He blew out a breath, and I sensed there was more he wasn’t telling me. “That certainly wasn’t my reality.”
I swallowed hard, and silence fell between us. The sun was dipping low in the sky, palm trees swaying in the breeze. But where Connor was, the sun had likely already set. Still, it was comforting to think that we were both looking at the same sky, even from across the country.
“Connor?” I finally asked.
“My father was abusive.” There was a steeliness to his tone I hadn’t heard before. An edge that spoke of both anger and strength.
Abusive? I sucked in a sharp breath, the air slashing my lungs. I didn’t want to think of anyone hurting Connor. Especially not the man who was supposed to love him, protect him.
“I’m sorry.” It seemed like such an inadequate sentiment, but what more could I say. All I wanted to do was wrap him up in a hug. But he was across the country, and we’d never even met.
“Yeah. Not as sorry as I am.”
“What does that mean?” I frowned.
He sighed. “Nothing. It doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
I felt like I was missing something. It was as if I’d walked into a minefield with a blindfold on, and I didn’t know whether to take a step or if I even should.
After a long pause, he said, “My parents always had a volatile relationship, but my mom tried to shelter me from it.”
“So, your dad…”
“No, he never hit me.”
I released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“But I wish I’d spoken up sooner. I wish I’d done more to try to defend my mom or tried harder to get her help.”
My heart clenched as understanding dawned on me. He carried the guilt over whatever had happened. I had so many questions, but I was afraid to ask them.
“He, um, one night when I was ten, he went too far.” I could hear the anguish in his voice, and my heart reached out to him. “And…he killed her.”
“My god, Connor,” I gasped. “I’m so sorry.”
My parents had never had a great relationship, but compared to Connor’s, it was practically a fairy tale. Infidelity, divorce—those seemed inconsequential in comparison. I shuddered, imagining the horrors he must have witnessed.
“Did you know that boys who witness domestic abuse are twice as likely to become abusers themselves?” His voice was solemn, and I realized he was afraid. Afraid that he’d become abusive like his father.
“I…I didn’t. But I do know that you are not your father.” When he didn’t respond, I said, “Connor, are you listening to me?”
“Yeah. I heard you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, growing more passionate by the second. “Because you are kind. You are honorable. You’re a hero.”
“Mm-hmm.” It certainly felt like he was ignoring me.
“Don’t make me come to Virginia to prove my point.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know, that sounds pretty appealing.”
I stilled, realizing it was the first time either of us had mentioned meeting in person, even if it had been in jest. “You know what I mean.” I rolled my eyes, my cheeks heating at the idea of seeing him.
“I’m not sure I do. Do you really think you’re prepared to go up against a six-foot-two navy SEAL? I mean, what are you, like five-two?”
“Former navy SEAL. And I’m five-ten, thank you very much.” I sniffed, toying with the edge of a blanket.
“Mm. Interesting.” God, his voice was sexy. It was one of the reasons I loved talking to him. That, and the fact that he was smart, funny, and a good listener.
“What?” I asked.
“I’ve just been trying to picture you in my head.”
My cheeks pinched from smiling so hard. “Really?” I asked, tucking one leg beneath me.
I’d been trying to picture him too, but it was different hearing him say it aloud. I wondered what he pictured when he thought of me. Would he fi
nd me attractive?
“Send me a picture?” he asked.
“I’m not sending you a picture.” I stood from the chair, pacing around the room. There was no way I was sending him a picture. “If you want to see me, you’ll just have to come visit.”
“Is that a promise?” he asked.
“I, um…” The sun had set, and I could see my reflection in the window at the front of my house. I was still in my work clothes—a navy cropped pant with a high waist, cream blouse, and suit jacket. I looked nice, but I was positive a guy like Connor would never be attracted to a girl like me. Even without seeing him, I knew he was most certainly out of my league. Not that he’d ever made me feel that way. In fact, he was one of the few people who’d ever made me feel “seen,” which was especially ironic, considering the fact that he’d never set eyes on me.
“Sure,” I finally said, figuring it would never happen. “If you come to LA, I’ll meet you.”
“Deal.”
We were both quiet a moment before I said, “What do you think it would be like—meeting in person?”
“Strange. Exciting. I don’t know. What do you think it would be like?”
I bit my lip, considering it. I’d imagined it so many times I’d lost count. But it was a fantasy, and it should stay that way. Part of the reason talking to him was so much fun was because we were both free to imagine, free to pretend. Meeting in person could very well ruin everything.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve met some of my bookstagram friends in person, but that’s different.”
“Why?”
“Well, for one, they aren’t guys.”
“So…”
“And I’ve usually seen their profile picture, so I have an idea of what they look like.”
“You only need to know one word about me: sexy.”
I laughed, knowing he was only half joking. “And also…humble.”
“Obviously.”
We both laughed.
“Well, I was voted most handsome in my unit,” he said.
“You were not.” Laughter bubbled out of me, and Luna shot me a look of pure annoyance. I stuck my tongue out at her. I liked this more playful side of Connor, especially after the heavier topics we’d discussed.
“You’re right. I was voted best with my hands.”
“Oh my god.” I shook my head, going over to the kitchen so I could make dinner. “You are so ridiculous.”
Why was he so easy to talk to? I’d never had this kind of easygoing banter with any of the other guys I’d dated. Not that Connor and I were dating. But I’d never felt so comfortable in my own skin.
“You love it.”
He was right, I did. But I wasn’t going to admit that. It would be too close to admitting how I felt about him. That I liked him as more than just a friend.
“What’s for dinner?” he asked.
“How do you always know what I’m doing?” I teased.
“Well, it is about that time, and we don’t want Olga coming for a visit,” he joked, referring to my imaginary evil twin.
“No. Definitely don’t want Olga to make an appearance.”
“So, what’s on the menu tonight?”
We often talked around this time, and it had become something of a ritual. I’d put the phone on speaker and talk to him as I cooked. It almost felt like he was here with me. Sometimes, I wished he were.
“I don’t know.” I peered into my fridge. “Chicken and green beans or lasagna.”
“Lasagna. Definitely lasagna.” I could practically hear him salivating through the phone.
I laughed. “Yeah. You and my stomach most certainly agree.”
“See? You should listen to me… I know what you want.” His seductive tone hinted at knowing about more than just my stomach, but I shook away the thought. “I wish I were there. For the lasagna,” he added.
It was on the tip of my tongue to agree, but then someone called for him in the background. “Cujo,” they said, using the name I’d discovered was his call sign. “Katie’s here.”
Who the heck was Katie? His girlfriend?
Oh god. I covered my face with my hands, grateful he couldn’t see me. In a split second, I’d gone from feeling like I knew everything about him to nothing at all. And it was a good reminder that he had a life I didn’t know about, friends I’d never met, and perhaps even a girlfriend.
When Connor spoke again, his tone completely different from the earlier flirty, teasing one I’d come to expect from him. “Hey. Can I call you back?”
“Oh, um, sure.” I frowned at the phone on the counter. “Talk to you later.”
He said a clipped goodbye, and I continued to stare at the phone even after the line went dead. All this time, I’d assumed he was single. I’d assumed he was flirting with me, interested in me. And now, I was just sick to my stomach.
I sank down on the chair, stroking Luna absentmindedly when she jumped up on my lap. Had I read the situation all wrong? I hadn’t thought so. I mean, even Alyssa had been convinced Connor was into me, flirting with me. And she had a lot more experience with dating and relationships than I did.
I was about to call her to ask for advice when my doorbell rang. I jolted, shaking my head to clear it as I walked over to answer the door. I glanced through the peephole and saw my dad standing on the doorstep.
I forced a smile as I swung open the door. “Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, sweetie.” He frowned. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I brushed some hair away from my face. “Yeah. Of course.”
“I missed my favorite girl and was hoping to surprise you with dinner.” He held up a takeout bag.
I stepped aside, allowing him to enter. “Come on in.”
Luna darted toward my bedroom as he set the bags on the table. Typical. She rarely liked guests. She barely seemed to tolerate me half the time.
“So…how were the Maldives?” He’d recently returned from a photo shoot, though he’d sent me a few pictures during his trip.
“Gorgeous, as always. Exhausting.” He grinned, showing me the side of Harrison Hayes no one else saw.
“What’s new with you?” he asked when we sat down to eat.
I lifted a shoulder. “Not much. Just busy with work.”
He nodded, taking a bite of his dinner. “How’s your mother?”
“You know—same old, same old,” I said. “Parading around town with her latest boy toy.”
“Typical.” He flashed me a wry grin.
“Yeah.” I stared at my plate, pushing the food around.
“No new boy toy for you?”
“Dad!” My eyes were wide when I glanced up at him.
“What?” He shrugged. “You’re beautiful, young. Surely you have a number of interested suitors.”
“Suitors?” I teased. “What is this—the nineteenth century?”
“You know what I mean, Livie.” He narrowed his eyes at me.
“Yeah. I do. And, no, there isn’t anyone. What about you?” I asked, enjoying the way he squirmed when I turned the question around on him.
After the divorce, my dad had never remarried. Never so much as dated anyone seriously, at least not that I knew of. I knew he’d been burned, but he was still young. He was still very handsome. And I wanted him to be happy.
“You know you’re the only girl for me,” he quipped, throwing me his usual answer. “How’s work?”
While I was grateful for the change of subject, I wished it had been to something else. I still hadn’t told him about Seth’s request, and I didn’t intend to.
“Fine.”
He furrowed his brows. “Just fine? Usually you’re raving about the latest book you’ve read.”
How could I tell him that I was crushing on a guy I’d met over the internet? A guy who, as it turned out, very likely had a girlfriend. I knew it was too good to be true. Guys like Connor didn’t fall for girls like me. And the fact that I’d put myself out there only made me feel like a f
ool.
Chapter Eight
Connor
Katie stood in the doorway to my room, but my mind was still on Olivia. Even from across the country, she occupied my thoughts more often than not. And while I thought I’d been clear in my intentions with Katie, her unexpected visit made me question that.
“Hey.” I stood, wiping my hands on my pants.
“Hey.” She gave me a coy grin, closing the door behind her before sauntering over to me. “I’ve missed you.”
When she reached up to wrap her arms around my neck, I grabbed her wrists to stop her. Her face fell. “What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk.”
“I thought that was the whole point of this—not talking?” she teased, though she couldn’t hide the pain that flashed in her eyes.
“It is. Was,” I corrected.
“Was?” She took a step back. “Are you brea—” She swallowed, her eyes wide. “Are you really going to end this?”
I nodded, trying to gauge her emotions. It had been weeks since the incident in the break room. Though I’d apologized, I hadn’t initiated anything. I hadn’t called or texted, and neither had she…until now. Not that that was out of the norm, but this time was different—at least, it was for me. Ever since I’d started talking with Olivia, there’d been a shift. And these days, there wasn’t room in my brain for anyone but her.
“I’ve tried to be patient with your injury,” Katie said. “I gave you space because that’s what I thought you needed.”
“I know.” I held up my hands. “And I’m sorry. But I can’t do this anymore.”
This had been a long time coming, and I should’ve done it sooner. But I didn’t say that. I valued my balls too much. Besides, I’d still have to see her at work, and I didn’t want things to be awkward.
“What’s changed?” she pleaded. “Why can’t we keep doing what we were doing?”
“I’ve changed.” I smiled down at her, hoping she’d understand without asking for more.
Unwritten Page 6