Why had I let Nicole take all the credit for my ideas? Why had I been so afraid to speak up? Seth had liked, and promoted, my Spines for Soldiers program. But was that only because he expected something in return?
Maybe it was time to revisit my thoughts on playing a “behind-the-scenes” role. Maybe it was time to make sure my voice was heard. And not just by my boss.
Emboldened and enraged, I deleted my earlier response to Connor and typed out a new one. I was done hiding. I was done letting other people take credit for my ideas. I was done playing it safe, playing by the rules.
I forwarded a copy of Insatiable to his Kindle and then returned to the email. My response was simple and to the point: Let’s do it. And I included my phone number.
The rest of the afternoon passed by both quickly and slowly. I didn’t know when or if I’d hear from Connor. And I half expected him to wait to call until after he’d read the book.
I returned home and made sure there was fresh water and food for Luna before pulling some leftovers from the fridge. As I heated them up, I opened my copy of Insatiable and started reading. I was hooked from the first page, and I admired the way the main character was brazen and bold. She was the type of woman I wanted to be—unabashed about what she wanted both in and out of the bedroom. And I understood why Alyssa had recommended the book. Not only was the writing superb, but the characters were so…inspiring. Empowering.
I got up to refill my glass of wine and rinse my plate, eager to return to the story. I typically didn’t read many romance novels, but this book was making me rethink that.
My phone buzzed on the counter, and I answered without looking, figuring it was my dad calling to say hi.
“Hey.” I cradled the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I carried my wine and Kindle over to the couch.
“Hello?” There was a deep voice on the other end, one I didn’t recognize, though it vibrated through me like a tuning rod. “Olivia?”
I stilled. “Yes?”
“Hey.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “This is Connor. Connor James.”
My eyes went wide. Oh my god.
Chapter Six
Connor
“Connor?” Olivia’s voice was sweet, cute even, and she sounded young. For a brief moment, I wondered if she was even eighteen, but then I realized she’d have to be to sign up for the program.
“Yeah. You know, from the Spines for Soldiers program.”
How many guys did she know named Connor? I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to think about there being any other men in her life.
“Hey. I, um, wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. Did you already finish the book?”
I chuckled. “No. I’m a fast reader, but I’m not that fast. Besides, I spent most of the day at work and rehab.”
“How was it?” she asked, and I was surprised by how comfortable I already felt talking to her. How seamlessly we were able to switch from emailing to talking on the phone. And it made me wonder what it would be like to meet her.
I shook my head. Meet her? Where had that thought come from? Besides, what would be the point?
“Which one?” I asked.
“Both. Either.” She laughed but it sounded nervous, and it only endeared her to me.
“Work is fine, though it’s frustrating to be a desk monkey. Rehab—” I blew out a breath. How much was I willing to share with her? I settled on a version of the truth. “Rehab isn’t going as well as I’d like.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Sincerity rang throughout her tone, and I felt myself relax.
“Thanks. I just—I don’t want to be stuck doing a desk job. I’d much rather be in the field.”
“Well, hopefully you’ll be able to get back out there before too long.” Her voice conveyed a sense of hopefulness I didn’t feel.
This was more about my injury. This was about trust, respect. Those two were the foundation of our work at Cole Security. If the guys couldn’t trust me, if I couldn’t trust myself, I was useless.
“I hope so.” I blew out a breath. “My injury is…has made things uncertain.” Though, really, it was the circumstances surrounding it. My “reckless” behavior, as Mark had called it.
“It can be difficult to give up something you’re passionate about. Something you were born to do. But it can also create new opportunities that you never expected. It might not seem like it now, but it could be a positive thing.”
If someone like Mark or Decker had said something like that to me, I would’ve blown them off. I might’ve even gotten angry. But for some reason, it felt like Olivia truly understood.
“Are you speaking from experience?” I asked, wanting to know more about her.
“Um…” she hedged. “Sort of.”
I frowned. What the hell did that mean? Was she referring to a boyfriend? Husband? I wanted to ask but was afraid to hear the answer. I almost preferred to live in the dark, to be able to pretend she was single.
“Can I ask you something personal?” I sat back against my headboard, elevating my knee like my physical therapist had instructed.
“Um, sure.”
“How old are you?”
“How old are you?” she shot back.
I chuckled. “Twenty-eight.”
“I’ll be twenty-six this summer.”
I nodded, smiling to myself. “You know that I’m a former SEAL and I have a roommate and no pets, but I feel like I know nothing about you. Are you in school? Do you work?”
“Are you interrogating me, Connor James?” she asked, and despite her playful tone, I sensed her unease.
“No. Just trying to get to know you,” I said. “Besides, if I wanted to interrogate you, it would be much more effective in person.”
“So you could see my expression?” she asked.
“Something like that,” I mused as my imagination ran wild. I could imagine laying her on a bed and using my lips, my dick, to coax information from her like I’d extract orgasms from her willing body.
“Do you ever interrogate people as part of your job?”
“No.” It wasn’t the first time I’d been asked that question, but it was one of the only times I wasn’t annoyed by it. “Some guys do, but not me. But everyone is trained to resist interrogation.”
She sucked in a shaky breath. “I can’t…” She swallowed. “I can’t even imagine the courage it takes to do what you do.”
I lifted a shoulder. “Just doing my job.”
Though I’d been doing a shit job of it lately. Would Olivia admire me if she knew the truth? If she knew I’d beaten a man within an inch of his life? If she knew I was no better than my piece-of-shit father?
“So…my friend wants to know. Can you actually hold your breath for three minutes?”
I laughed, tucking my arm beneath my head as I lay back. Another popular question. “My personal record is two minutes and forty-nine seconds. I had one of the best times in my unit.”
“See? They need you.”
I arched an eyebrow at the conviction, the passion in her voice. If only it were that simple. I was confident my knee would recover. But would they let me return to the field?
“Yeah, well, it’s a little more complicated than that.” I was unwilling to say more. “But I appreciate your confidence.”
We were silent for a moment, but it wasn’t for lack of conversation. And it wasn’t awkward like I’d feared either. In fact, I was happy to stay on the phone, just knowing she was there.
“So…” I finally said. “You still haven’t answered my question. What do you do?”
“I, um, work in marketing for a publishing company.”
“That makes sense, considering your love of reading and books.” As did her offense to my initial email insulting reading.
“How long have you been doing that?”
“Since graduating college.”
I stared at the ceiling, wondering if she was being purposely evasive. If I di
dn’t know better, I’d think she was the one with SERE training.
“Where’d you go to college?”
“Stanford.”
Damn. I already knew she was smart, but the fact that she’d graduated Stanford confirmed it. She must have had a scholarship or be loaded to afford an expensive school like that. It was a big reason I’d joined the navy—to pay for my education.
“If you didn’t work in publishing, what would you want to do?” I asked.
“Hmm.” Even though I had no idea what she looked like, I could imagine her tapping a finger to her lips.
What color were they? How plump were they? What would they look like wrapped around my cock? I cleared my throat, shifting on the bed as the image of that threatened to distract me.
“Honestly…I’m not sure. Maybe marketing for a nonprofit.”
“That’s admirable.” I liked that she was focused on service, on giving back to the community. “What kind of nonprofit?”
“One that focuses on early childhood literacy or at-risk youth. In the past, I’ve helped my dad with some charity work, and I always enjoyed the ones that focused on kids.”
“Because you want to have kids of your own?” I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, wishing I could take them back. For all I knew, she already had kids. Though I didn’t think that was the case.
“No.” She barked out a laugh, surprising me. “Because I was fortunate enough—despite my parents’ divorce—to have a good childhood. And I know not everyone is as fortunate.”
“True,” I muttered, thinking how accurate that was for myself. “Do you have siblings?”
“Nope. Only child. And before you say it—yes, I was spoiled rotten.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “You can’t be too spoiled if you want to focus on giving back.”
She was quiet for a moment, likely digesting my words. Then she said, “What about you?”
“What about me?” I asked.
“If you hadn’t become a SEAL, what would you have done?”
I stared at the ceiling and blew out a breath. “Honestly, I don’t know. I never really thought about it. Being a SEAL was more than a career—it was my life. Now Cole Security is my life. These men are my family.”
“I get that,” she said. “Are you based in California or Virginia? Or can you even tell me?”
I chuckled. “Someone’s been doing their homework.”
“I kind of had to if—” She stopped short, and I wondered why.
“If what?”
“If I was going to pitch a program like Spines for Soldiers to my boss.”
My eyes went wide, a pit forming in my stomach. Oh shit.
“This program was your idea?” I asked, feeling even more awful for dissing it.
“Yes.” Her voice was quiet.
“God, I’m an ass.”
“You mean Coleman was an ass,” she teased, referring to my imaginary evil twin.
“Yeah. Right. Coleman was an ass,” I said, feeling marginally better about the fact that she was joking about it. My tone was more solemn when I spoke again. “I’m so sorry, Olivia. I’m sure you put a lot of thought and consideration into the program. I never should have attacked it.”
“It’s… Yeah, your response was disappointing, but I understand why now. And besides, this program was intended to help soldiers, not frustrate them. So, if you have any thoughts on how to improve it, I’d love to hear them.”
Wow. Seriously? Could she be more gracious?
I’d attacked her program, insulted her, and while she’d stood up to me, she’d done it with her head held high. And now, she was asking for my opinion. I admired the hell out of her—for seeking constructive criticism, for striving for improvement.
“You are a good person, Olivia…” I trailed off, realizing I didn’t know her last name. “What’s your last name?” I whispered.
She laughed. “You aren’t going to use this information to stalk me online, are you?”
“Sweetheart, you forget who you’re talking to. If I wanted to stalk you, I already have more than enough information to go on.” I shook my head. “Wow, that sounded creepy. And I promise not to stalk you online or otherwise.”
I respected her too much to invade her privacy like that. And I wanted to hear about this woman from her own lips.
“Ditto,” she said. “And my last name is Hayes.”
“Olivia Hayes,” I said, finally getting a more complete picture of this woman. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, Connor James.” The way she said my name had my cock jerking to attention. He wanted to meet her too.
“So… I know that you have a cat named Luna and no siblings. What do you like to do in your free time?” I asked before adding, “Besides read.”
She laughed. “Man, I am predictable.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” I said, knowing how much I craved routine, stability. It was a big part of the reason I’d joined the navy. My life up until then had lacked constancy. But over time, it had become suffocating. Cole Security struck the right balance—giving me both the structure and autonomy I needed. Plus, it paid a hell of a lot more.
“My friends and I enjoy trivia nights. I love baking and walking along the ocean.”
That was a big clue—she lived near the ocean. But that didn’t narrow it down much.
“Surfing?” I asked. I’d gone a few times with Mark, but it wasn’t really my thing.
“No. I’m not really an adrenaline junkie.”
“Ever done anything…crazy?” I asked, though I was more interested in her bedroom adventures than the ones outside it.
What was it about this woman? How could I be so attracted to someone I’d never met, never even seen? It was crazy.
“Well…I did start talking to this guy on the phone I met over the internet.” I could hear the smile in her voice, and I fought back my own.
“How’s that going for you?” I tried to strike a relaxed tone despite being eager to hear her response.
“Pretty good, so far.”
“Yeah?” I laughed, enjoying the sound of her voice in my ear. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine she was in the room with me instead of…wherever she was.
“Do you still live in California?” I asked, going off her Stanford answer.
“Yes. Born and raised. Though, I’m not your typical California girl.”
I furrowed my brow. “What does that mean?”
She let out a deep sigh. “Just…forget I said anything.”
“No. Wait.” I sat up, the duvet cover rustling beneath me. “Explain. Please,” I added.
“I’m not—” she huffed. “I’m not thin or blond. I don’t have hair that hangs down my back in beachy waves.”
For someone who seemed to have so much confidence, she’d faltered when it came to her appearance. Did she not think she was pretty? Because from everything I’d learned about her, I could only conclude that she was beautiful.
“You’ve told me a lot of things you aren’t, but you haven’t told me what you are,” I said. “And even without seeing you, I know that you’re beautiful.”
“Connor…”
“What? I mean it. From what I can tell, you’re always thinking of other people. Whether it’s Spines for Soldiers or your charity work, you care. Hell, I wish there were more people like you in the world.”
“You’re one to talk,” she teased. “Mr. Hero.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a hero.”
“You are. At least, you are in my eyes. Not many people would put their life on the line to help someone else. That takes courage. And courage is sexy.”
“Mm.” I smirked to myself, enjoying the turn of the conversation. I wanted to focus on this woman instead of my shortcomings. “So, you think I’m sexy?”
“I-I,” she stammered, and I could just imagine her blushing. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it.”
What was wrong with me? I shouldn’t be flirting with Olivia. She was…well, she lived on the other side of the country. And she was…so much better than me. She deserved more than emails and phone calls from a broken man. Yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“So…what’d you think of Insatiable so far?” I asked, clearly a glutton for punishment.
“I just started it when I got home from work. But so far, I love it.” I heard some noise in the background. It sounded like she was opening and closing cabinets.
“Did you get to the pool scene?”
I heard her sharp intake of breath, and my pulse spiked. Not just about the scene—though it had been hot. But Olivia’s reaction to it.
“Yep,” she chirped. “It was…yeah. I mean, perhaps a tad unrealistic, but hot.”
“Unrealistic?” I tilted my head to the side. “How so?”
“Um.” She cleared her throat, and I sensed her nerves through the phone. “You know—the fact that she, um, climaxed so many times.”
I frowned. “What’s unrealistic about that? He fingered her. He licked her clit. And then they had sex.”
Her laughter was breathy and nervous. “I, um… Okay.” She swallowed.
“Have you… Do you have a hard time climaxing?” I asked.
“I’m not talking about this with you!”
“Okay. Okay. Geez,” I teased, not wanting to embarrass her. But, really…I wanted to know. But then a second thought occurred to me. “Olivia…are you a virgin?”
“No.” Her tone was defensive, and I felt bad for pushing her. But not bad enough to stop. God, I was a bastard.
“I’m not a virgin, but I’m not all that experienced either.” She huffed. “Romance novels set unrealistic expectations.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Do they now?”
“Butterflies at first sight? Kisses that make your toes curl? Mind-altering sex? It’s called fiction for a reason.”
“I didn’t take you for a cynic,” I said, surprised by this rare side to her.
“I prefer realist,” she sniffed.
“If we had sex,” I said, enjoying her shaky inhale. I could just imagine the same sound echoing through my bedroom as I pushed inside her. “I guarantee you’d be singing a different tune.”
Unwritten Page 5