“So, you’re not only afraid of the jumps, you’re afraid of me, too.”
“I’m not afraid of you, I just can’t stand you.”
“Whatever you gotta tell yourself.”
“You were a jerk last summer, and you’ve been a jerk since I got here last night. It’s taking everything I have not to smack you right now.”
His surprised laugh echoed in his head. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“By all means then, go ahead. I dare you.”
And she’d taken the dare and smacked him. Hard enough that the memory made his cheek sting even now. He raised his hand to his face as her unapologetic voice echoed in his head.
“Don’t dare a Diamond, ‘cuz we don’t back down.”
Another scene flashed—this time as they floated only inches apart from each other in the pool.
“How about we compromise? Tell me why you don’t like the dark, and I’ll tell you about the accident.”
Another leap; another memory. At the pool again, but after that inferno of a first kiss that nearly made him lose his mind.
“You’re seriously mad? I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“The right thing would’ve been to not make me think you wanted this in the first place.”
“I do want you, Raine. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone before. But I need this job. I need to be here.”
But did he really need to be here specifically anymore? He was sitting in the dark by himself. And though he felt uptight and restless, he knew it had more to do with the subject of his thoughts than not being able to see.
Dealing with the dark had gotten easier each day—missing Raine had not.
“Don’t dare a Diamond, cuz we don’t back down.”
Well, neither did a Torrez—unless he was a complete idiot.
His stomach churned with a sinking feeling just as a sharp rap on the door made him jump.
“Rey?”
Recognizing his brother’s voice, he sat up straighter as he called, “It’s open.”
The door swung inward. With the light from the stairs at his back, his brother’s front was in shadows. “I didn’t think you were here.”
“Then why’d you come up?”
“Saw your jeep.” Dev leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb and crossed his arms. “You’re in the dark.”
“Can’t put nuthin’ past you, bro.”
After a beat of silence, his brother repeated, “You’re in the dark.”
As if he hadn’t gotten the significance of the words the first time around. Because, you know, it was only his PTSD.
“Yes, I’m in the dark, Dev. Apparently in more ways than one.”
“What does that mean?”
He winced. “Nothing.” Schooling his features, he shifted to flip on the light, then arched his brows at his brother. “What are you doing here?”
“Dinner with the Diamonds.”
“Hmm.” He rose and swiped up his empty bottle to go toss it in the recycle. “Want a beer?”
Dev shut the door and raised his hand in a staying gesture. “No, thanks. We’re heading home soon. I saw the lights off and the jeep here, and thought I’d check in.”
Reyes moved forward to brace his palms on the island. “You’ve checked. All good.”
His brother walked over to face him across the counter. “Or somewhat better, it would appear.”
“Sure.”
“Except I got a call from Dad earlier. He said you’ve been burying yourself in work. Like when you first got home.”
So Dad sent Dev.
He wanted to be annoyed. Instead, his chest tightened at the fact they cared. Not that he ever doubted they did.
“Thing is,” Dev continued, “unless you’ve started seeing a therapist about your PTSD, the only thing different I’m aware of in the past month is a certain Diamond up here for training.”
Reyes dipped his head, staring at the counter as he traced his finger along one of the black veins in the marble-like top. He didn’t want to admit his stupidity, but it was going to come out sooner than later.
“She told me she loved me.”
“And?”
He glanced up. “And I sent her home.”
“That much is obvious. I meant, and how do you feel about her?”
“I love her.”
“Then why send her away?”
“She was going to stop competing. Give up her dream of riding in the Olympics. I couldn’t let her do that. She would’ve come to hate me.”
Dev nodded. “Maybe. So why didn’t you go with her?”
“I didn’t think it was an option.” He gave a wry smile. “At the time anyway.”
“And now?”
“It’s definitely an option.”
His brother smiled. “Good.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, typed a message, and then reached to put it away again. “I’ll take that beer after all. Let’s sit down and figure this out.”
One week later, Reyes followed Shelby and Dev into the arena complex in New York. A myriad of people milled about near concessions on the right, and through a wide opening front and center, he caught a glimpse of sand and jumps. Riders trotted and cantered past as they warmed up their mounts.
“Uncle Matt said he’d meet us by the left side—there he is.”
Reyes had already spotted the signature Diamond dark hair. His brother’s hand landed on his shoulder for a quick squeeze. “Good luck.”
He gave them a nervous smile, then strode over to where Raine’s father waited. The man’s expression tightened when he made eye contact, and his whole body stiffened.
Reyes willed his pulse to settle down while extending his hand. “Mr. Diamond, we haven’t been formally introduced. Reyes Torrez.”
He looked down, hesitated, then accepted the handshake. “Matt’s fine.”
The older man’s tone sparked surprise. It wasn’t anywhere near as confrontational as his rigid body language suggested it would be.
“What are you doing here?” Matt asked.
Her father stood a good two inches taller than him. Reyes lifted his chin slightly to meet his gaze. “I love your daughter, sir.”
“And she loves you.”
“That’s what she told me.”
He frowned toward the arena. “So you’re here to take her back with you.”
A statement, not a question, and it was full of resignation.
Reyes shook his head. “I’m here to support her in whatever she wants to do.”
Matt’s gaze met his once more, surprise mingling with hope. After a long moment, he nodded. “She’s about to ride. Let’s see how she does.”
22
Raine hadn’t spoken one word to her father on the way home to Texas, nor any time they crossed paths in the two weeks prior to their flight to New York for the Grand Prix event in which he’d signed her up to compete. She almost didn’t go, but having sought solace with Diamond Fire for countless hours out on the open Texas range to keep herself from wallowing, she felt closer to her mount than ever before.
He deserved the chance to jump. A ride of redemption.
She knew it sounded ridiculous—he had no such awareness—but she wanted to show the world they were stronger than ever after their fall last year. With a wry twist of her lips, she tugged at the hem of her fitted black jacket and smoothed a stray hair back into the severe knot at the nape of her neck. So, maybe it was better said as her ride of redemption.
And, based on the nervous excitement tingling in her body, a way to test herself as well. After they’d arrived last night, she’d taken a good hard look at her life and realized she needed to figure out her future for herself. She didn’t want to just go with what her dad expected, or ride because Reyes had broken her heart and she had nothing else to do. She certainly wasn’t going to ride because he told her to.
No. It was time she decided exactly what she wanted.
Reyes.
She ignored the
whisper of her aching heart and refused to allow thoughts of him to mess with her focus. Having already warmed up in the schooling ring after last minute advice from Charlie, she sat astride Fire to watch the other jumpers with a critical eye while waiting for their turn.
She knew most of them from the Grand Prix circuit last year, and they were all so good. No, they were better than good. The best of the best.
Her stomach got a little queasy with the realization she used to be one of them.
No—I still am.
The affirmation resonated deep in her soul, which meant she had a lot to prove to everyone today.
Seeing they were up next, Raine closed her eyes and visualized the course walk-through again. Once they made it over the vertical at the mid-way point, they’d be fine. She just needed to make sure she didn’t seize up before then. Or more importantly, at the jump.
“Do you trust Fire? Let him take you over it.”
Her pulse skittered at the vibrant sound of Reyes’ voice in her head. She did trust Fire. And, despite Reyes breaking her heart, she still trusted his advice when it came to her horse. They’d get through this as a team.
A deep breath quieted the white noise in her head enough for her to register her name and number had been announced. Diamond Fire pranced his way into the arena with an excess of energy that stirred the crowd. Raine mentally blocked out the noise, leaned forward with a murmured, “Let’s do this, boy,” and off they went.
She let years of practice and experience take over, and the second Fire cleared the first jump, a surge of exhilaration cleared her nerves. She’d argued with Reyes she wasn’t so sure she wanted the Olympics, but all it took was that one set of rails here in competition to cement her certainty.
She wanted gold as much as she still wanted him. She wanted both.
Moments later, they sailed over the vertical as if it were mere inches, and after the final combination, the crowd roared as Fire cantered over the line. A quick glance at the board revealed no time or jumping faults. She pumped a fist in the air as the announcer confirmed she’d move on to the jump off with the current leader, and any additional riders who qualified.
She exited the arena and dismounted as Charlie took hold of the reins.
“Great job out there.”
“Thanks,” she undid the strap of her helmet and handed it over to hug Fire’s neck. “He did amazing, didn’t he?”
“You both did,” her father’s voice said from directly behind her.
Her stomach gave a little lurch as she turned to face her dad.
“I’m proud of you, honey.”
Her anger over Colorado had dulled some, and now her certainty during the ride confirmed he’d done what he thought was best for her. Then she noticed tears in his eyes and emotion clogged her throat as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around his waist. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I’m sorry about the last few weeks.” His hand smoothed over her hair as his chest expanded on deep breath. “Whatever you decide to do, Raine, I’ll support you.”
She leaned back with a frown of confusion. “Whatever I decide to do?”
He loosened his hold and stepped aside. “Someone’s here to see you.”
She followed his gaze past the people milling about. When she saw Reyes leaning against the back wall, her heart lodged up in her throat and swelled with joy. It took a moment to register that Shelby and Devante stood with him. Her cousin offered a smile and a wave as they started forward without Reyes.
Her heart raced the whole time she gave them each a tight hug and distantly accepted their congratulations on the ride. All the while, she was hyper aware of the tall, gorgeous man a mere twenty feet away instead of however many states lay between New York and Colorado.
A stolen glance skipped her pulse at the sight of his tousled, dusty brown hair, those dark eyebrows, and his intense green gaze locked on her. He should’ve been nondescript in a plain black T-shirt and worn jeans, but Reyes Torrez was not a guy that would ever fade into the background. Not for her, anyway.
“She’s not even listening to us,” Shelby groused to her fiancé.
Raine turned her guilty gaze back to her cousin. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She jerked her head toward Reyes with a grin. “Just go.”
She gulped back a surge of nerves and started toward him, her heart thudding hard with anticipation. As she got closer, words from the last time she’d seen him started to pour into her brain. Her feet grew heavy and a lump of renewed pain formed in her throat.
“You’re reading too much into last night.”
“I never made any promises.”
She’d handed him her heart, and he’d shoved it back at her with no concern for the damage he caused.
Stopping in front of him, she crossed her arms. “Why are you here?”
He straightened from the wall, but left his hands in his pockets. “You and Fire looked great out there. It was an amazing ride.”
“Thanks.” She lifted her chin slightly as the announcer called the next rider. “You were right. I do want gold, and I’m not giving up until I get it.”
“Good.” He nodded solemnly. “I’m glad.”
Someone bumped into her from behind, and she murmured a quick acknowledgment for their apology before turning back to Reyes. “You flew all the way here just to tell me you’re glad?”
A crooked smile appeared and was gone just as quick. “I came to tell you I’m sorry, and that you were right.”
About what? The anxiety in his eyes made her heart beat faster as she tilted her head and waited.
He eased closer, his gaze never wavering from hers. “I came because I love you, Raine, and I want to be here for you in any way you need me. Any way you want me. Because I pray to God you still want me.”
The gruff emotion in his low voice weakened her knees, but she managed to keep from throwing herself into his arms. He didn’t deserve for her to make it too easy after she’d spent weeks with an ache in her chest that had made it hard to breathe at times.
Arms still crossed, she dropped her gaze to his chest while shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe you read too much into my words that day.”
“Really?” he asked. “How does one not read everything into I love you?”
“You tell me,” she shot back. “You’re the one who told me to leave and walked away.”
The hurt he’d inflicted seeped into her voice. She couldn’t help glancing up to see his reaction even as she clenched her jaw at the revealing words.
Anguish darkened his eyes. “I thought it was what I needed to do.” He grimaced slightly. “It was what I needed to do—I just wish I hadn’t hurt you doing it.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew I loved you then, but I could never ask you to give up your dream. I didn’t want you to end up hating me someday.”
“Better I hate you that day instead of letting me make my own choice?”
“I was damned either way.” The frustration in his voice sent his hand up to rake through his hair. “If we’d had more time...”
If her father hadn’t shown up they would have had another week. But that would’ve only made it harder for her to leave. Or, Reyes might have let her stay, and she very well may have ended up blaming him for the loss of her dream when it would not have been his fault.
Letting her think their night together meant nothing to him had been awful, but it sank in what he’d been willing to give up for her. It made her want to…smack him.
And kiss him.
23
Reyes was dying to reach out for her, to take her in his arms and kiss away the hurt or whatever else was keeping the distance between them, but he was also afraid to push too hard. He didn’t know what he’d do if she couldn’t forgive him.
“More time wouldn’t have mattered,” Raine said with a shake of her head.
Desperation nipped at his nerves, but he forced it back down. Like with the thoroughbreds, he needed to be
patient.
“Everything was so…raw that morning,” he said quietly. “But if we’d had more time, I would’ve realized you didn’t have to stay. I could’ve gone with you, instead. I can go with you.”
“But I’d never ask you to leave the place that brings you peace after what you’ve gone through. I know how much you need to be there.”
Hope flared at the empathy in her words. At her use of present tense, not past.
“Not after you.” He finally gave in to his need to touch her, reaching for her crossed arms, pulling a hand free to capture her fingers with his. “I haven’t slept with the light on since you left.”
Her soft smile added a splash of gasoline to his hope.
“I don’t need the light anymore, but I do need you. If you’ll still have me, that is.”
She sighed and dropped her gaze to their joined hands, as if searching for the words she wanted to say. When she tried to pull her hand free from his, he panicked and held it tight while grabbing for her other one.
“I dare you to love me again.”
“Really?” She laughed. “You think that’s going to work?”
Her gaze lifted then, and his heart jolted at the tears in her eyes. “Don’t cry. Please, Raine, I’ll do whatever it takes,” he vowed. “I’ll even get on my knees to beg your forgiveness if you want.”
She arched her eyebrows. “I’m going to want you on your knees at some point, but not right now.”
Her teasing words sunk in and brought a flood of relief. They swept his mind to a place that sent his blood racing through his veins, and the sass in her eyes turned up the heat a good ten degrees.
“As for your dare…”
“Diamonds don’t back down,” he reminded.
When she pulled her hands free from his, his heart sank. But in the next instant, she reached up to lay her palms against his cheeks. “No we don’t, but I can’t take a dare to love you again when I never stopped in the first place.”
This time, finally, the relief was complete. He rested his hands on her hips, allowing a small smile as he swallowed past the emotion in his throat. “I’m so sorry I messed everything up.”
Don't Dare a Diamond (Must Love Diamonds Book 5) Page 14