by Jack Harbon
“I didn’t take that money,” Kit said, looking up at Roman. He hadn’t said a single word the entire time. Even still, he kept quiet. “Roman, you believe me, right?”
“I trusted you, Kit.”
He felt as if he’d just been punched in the gut. “You don’t still trust me?”
“Honestly, no, I don’t. The evidence is right there. I want to believe you, but I… I don’t. Please tell me you didn’t buy my gifts with money you stole from Yellow Fall.” His eyes fell to the watch on his wrist.
Kit couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Roman.”
“Tell me you didn’t.”
“I didn’t,” he whispered.
Roman stared at him for a moment before he said, “Kit, you need to pack up your things.”
“No.”
“Get your things and go. I’m not going to tell you again.”
“Why would I listen to you? Apparently, you’re not my boss anymore. I’m guessing that applies to you being my boyfriend, too?” Silence. “Thought so. Good luck doing your fucking job without me, Roman.” Kit snatched the box from the table and threw it across the room.
“Kit.”
“Don’t ‘Kit’ me. You believe that asshole over me. I’m sitting here telling you I didn’t take shit from this place and you believe him over me. But that’s cool. No, it’s totally fine. I understand why you didn’t stand up for me. You didn’t want to lose your job.”
That was what it took to make Roman explode. “I did fucking stand up for you. The tech department talked to me on Friday! I tried calling you all weekend and you didn’t answer me. I wanted to be ahead of this, not involve my boss, but when I showed up at your place, your sister told me you were out with you friends and she didn’t know where they lived. I tried, but you ignored me. Were you out spending all that money you stole?”
“I didn’t get a single fucking text, Roman.” Kit pulled his phone from his pocket and swiped to unlock it. “Look. I didn’t get shit from you. I didn’t get a text, or a phone call, or a message.” He all but threw the phone at him.
Roman shoved it back across the table. “I don’t want to hear it, Kit. I called you. Multiple times.”
“I’m sure,” he said sarcastically. “Well, I guess this past weekend was a sample of the kind of silence I’ll be getting now on.”
“Of course, this is all about you. I’m losing seven thousand dollars and you’ve made it about you,” Roman muttered.
Kit laughed loudly. “Aw, you poor thing! You’ll only be making ninety-three thousand dollars this year, that must be so hard. Meanwhile I won’t be able to pay my rent, I’ll have to go live with the parents that spent eighteen years making my life a living hell, and I might even end up going to prison over this bullshit. But you’re right, let’s feel bad for the Chief Creative Director at a million-dollar company.”
“Grow up, Kit.”
“Fuck you. I hope that when you realize that this wasn’t me, you feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Because you are. And good luck with the next assistant you get, by the way. I hope this one does a better job than me, because you’ll need it. I know you don’t want to disappoint your parents or anything.” Kit knew that the second the words left his mouth, he’d crossed the line. The flash of rage on Roman’s face was indication of that. He felt sick, like he’d just stepped off a roller coaster, and his head throbbed with anger.
“You’d know about disappointing your parents, wouldn’t you, Kit? You stood up to them like you were big and bold, but now you’ll have to go crawling back to them. Any parent would be disappointed with that, I’d think,” Roman said coldly.
Kit’s smile held no humor or happiness. It contained the same chill of Roman’s gaze. He turned and left the office, his nails digging into his palm. He didn’t need to take anything home with him. What he needed more was to get the hell out of this place. To burn it down. To hide forever.
His journey to the elevator was the worst walk of shame he’d ever experienced. There was no way that everyone in the office hadn’t heard him and Roman screaming at each other. They knew that he’d lost his job. They knew he’d “stolen” the money.
Kit managed to keep it together until the elevator doors closed. Then, he let himself fall apart. He stepped out when he reached the main floor and looked in Jules’ direction. Her smile faded, quickly replaced with a look of sympathy.
He thought back to the first time he’d met her. The woman they’d both seen crying was like a secret they shared. Kit had been so sure that even if his interview went poorly, he would never let it show like that. Yet here he was. Letting Jules see him react this way felt like a disappointment in itself. He was getting good at that.
Kit wiped his eyes and marched to the door. He’d figure it out. He always figured it out.
27
Nicer
It was almost seven at night, and Kit still hadn’t gotten out of bed to turn the lights on. He hadn’t eaten anything, or even looked at his phone all day. He was focused on one thing and one thing only. He needed to find a new job. His bills needed to be paid, and he didn’t care if trying to find another job killed him. He wasn’t going to go back to Bria’s sofa—not after having tasted what true freedom and independence really felt like.
He finally found a decent offer working in customer service. He’d be able to work from home, which would save him money on subway rides, and it would also allow him to keep from having to socialize with anyone ever again.
When he got to the part of the application that asked for previous work experience, Kit grit his teeth and took a few slow, calming breaths. Arguably the worst part of being accused of stealing seven thousand dollars from his previous employer was knowing that he couldn’t use Yellow Fall on his application. If he did, they’d call Yellow Fall and it would come out that he’d allegedly “stolen” all that money.
Kit was exactly where he’d started almost five months ago. He had no real experience that would be enough to put on his application, just a degree in business. He wanted to bury his face in a pillow and scream until he fainted, but he twisted the spare pillow in his hands, wringing it until his frustration subsided.
Fuck them, he thought.
That sentiment was what kept him going all day long. He wanted to prove to them that he could do anything. This wasn’t the end of Kit Bayer. But as he passed up on more and more job opportunities, his confidence began to waver. He wasn’t even sure who they were, and why he was trying so hard to prove himself to them. Were they Yellow Fall? His friends and family? Roman?
On the nightstand, Kit’s phone buzzed loudly, startling him. He’d been ready to ignore it, but when he saw that it was Ira from the temp agency, he snatched it up.
“Hey, Ira, what’s up?”
“Kit, hi! I hate that I’m calling so late, but I actually found a job that’s right up your alley. I know you said that you didn’t want to work as an assistant again, but how would you feel about working as the receptionist at a small company that’s just starting up? They’re looking for someone to stick with them for a long time, and they’ve informed me you’ll have the usual benefits. Health insurance, dental, all of it.”
Ira was slowly becoming Kit’s favorite person in the world. “I can’t even be picky right now. I’m more than interested in this.”
“Perfect! I’m going to email you all the details and you can see for yourself if this is something you’d want to be part of.”
“Thank you again, Ira. You’re a lifesaver.”
He laughed with embarrassment. “I try, really. You have a good night, okay? I’ll talk to you soon!”
“You too.” Kit hung up his phone.
For the first time in a week, he smiled. All he needed to do was believe in himself. He’d proven time and again that when faced with seemingly impossible tasks, he had a talent for persevering and showing the world what kind of person he was. Kit flopped back in his bed and sighed with relief. With the shitshow he’d ju
st gone through at Yellow Fall, he needed a tiny bit of good news.
After a minute of lying in bed, he stretched out and grabbed his shoes from the floor. He’d spent the entire week cooped up in his apartment. He might not have had it for much longer, after all. He needed to get out of the house and go for a walk. He needed to clear his head.
Kit headed downstairs and aimlessly walked through the streets, his music blaring through his headphones. His mind wandered through everything he’d been repressing since last week. He’d tried his hardest to block out the disappointment on Roman’s face. He’d also tried blocking the anger in the low blows they’d both given.
Roman was right—in a way. There were really only two options left for Kit. He could either come crawling back to his parents begging for rent money, or he could bust his ass and prove to himself and everyone else that he wasn’t a failure. Just three days ago Kit had accepted his parents offer to help with his student loans. He didn’t want to ask for anything more from them.
Kit scrolled through his phone, switching songs and reading through the texts he’d yet to respond to. Bria wanted to know if he needed anything, Michelle was worried about him, and even Chad—the person that rarely considered personal space—told him he’d give him some time to deal with things.
Eventually, Kit scrolled down to Roman’s name. He opened the conversation out of morbid curiosity. He’d expected to find all their texts, but instead, there was nothing. Everything was gone. Not only that, but his phone informed him that the number had been blocked. His brows knitted together in confusion.
When had he blocked Roman’s number? Was this why he hadn’t received any of his phone calls or texts over the weekend?
Before he could go down this path of bottomless questions, he straightened himself up and closed his phone. There was no time for what ifs and alternate timelines. What he was going through now was his reality, and he had to deal with that first.
Kit’s journey eventually led him into Chad’s part of town. He stopped outside of the apartments Chad’s parents had put him in, debating whether or not he wanted to be social with his best friend. He took a deep breath and decided he’d ignored everyone for far too long.
Shame washed over Kit as he knocked on the door of Chad’s apartment. He should have done this earlier. He shouldn’t have shut out the people he loved the most. As much as he hated that about himself, this was how he’d handled most of his breakups with people. With Jaylen, he had gone completely MIA, fading away from every social event until Chad had to hunt him down and make him explain what was going on. He wasn’t going to put anyone he loved through that pain again.
“Dude,” was all Chad said before pulling him in for a hug. He pulled away and looked Kit over skeptically. “How are you? Bria told me you were going through some shit, but she didn’t specify. What’s going on?”
Kit closed the door and shrugged. “Well, Roman and his boss Ari basically accused me of stealing all that money from the company.”
Chad laughed loudly. “Are they serious? If you had money like that—”
“I know. I wouldn’t be living where I’m living now if I knew how to do all this sneaky technology shit,” Kit exclaimed.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. Michelle peered over the couch, a little disoriented. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, and when she finally recognized Kit, she ran over to give him a hug. Hers was much tighter than Chad’s had been.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” she said. “We’ve been worried sick.”
Kit followed them into the living room and gave them both all the details about how he lost the job and how Roman was suffering from this as well. While Chad was willing to sympathize with Roman, Michelle’s anger was apparent.
“He just sat there and kicked you out like he didn’t care about you? Men are literally such shitheads!”
“Part of me wants to blame him for being so cold, but the other part… I still care about him. I said some really lowdown things about him, and he threw it right back at me. I’m just so tired of wasting my time with guys that don’t treat me the right way,” Kit said, putting his face in his hands and sighing with exasperation.
“You don’t need Roman,” she said, stroking his back. “There are a million and one men out there that you can easily replace him with.”
Kit laughed bitterly. He’d about had enough of successful businessmen. With the way Ari and Roman had treated him, he was almost angry enough to call off all men regardless of their financial status. On the other end, he was ready to scam someone. This time he’d actually steal some insane amount of money.
“I’m sorry I didn’t message you guys back,” Kit said, biting at his bottom lip. He kept his gaze on the floor, unable to meet either of their gazes. That shame had returned. For a few days there, he’d allowed himself to think that nobody cared about him. He’d wallowed away by his miserable self. Being here now was proof that he’d only been feeling sorry for himself.
“Kit, you don’t need to apologize for taking some time away to deal with this. Nobody here knows what you’re going through. I mean, you and Roman were getting serious, and all of sudden he’s firing you and accusing you of committing felonies,” Chad said.
“Still, it feels like I—I let everyone down.” Kit’s voice was hoarse. He hated that he showed his emotions this way, especially in front of Michelle. She’d never seen him get like this before, and the last time Chad had been around for this, he’d been screaming and shouting at Jaylen.
Chad slung an arm around Kit’s shoulder. “Let us down how? By dealing with your heartbreak the only way you knew how?”
“I let you all down because I shouldn’t have done any of this! I shouldn’t have gotten close to Roman this way. I let Bria down because I told her we weren’t like that. There was no power imbalance with us. I let you guys down because I know how badly you all were rooting for me. I—I let myself down. I fell for another person that tossed me aside like I wasn’t even important to him.”
Kit’s voice finally cracked, and he lowered his head, tears spilling out once more. Chad sighed and pulled him into his arms. While he held Kit, Michelle rubbed Kit’s knee tenderly.
“Man, I love you, but you need to be nicer to yourself, Kit,” Chad said softly. “Do you know anyone else that did what you did with such skill? You met every single one of Roman’s challenges. You designed that office. You worked with some of the most influential businesses in New York. Hell, you even made someone like Roman give you a second chance after your interview! You did that, and the only person here that’s even remotely trying to take that away from you is you.”
Kit sniffled and closed his eyes. There was no room for him to argue with that. He was too hard on himself. He’d always been too hard on himself. Not only that, but he could admit that there were times where he walked around with a chip on his shoulder, like he had something to prove. He’d felt it when he moved out of his parents’ house. He’d also felt it when he’d passive aggressively cleaned up Roman’s office.
“Look at me,” Chad said.
“Yeah?”
“Everyone here is so proud of you. Your first job out of college and you were working somewhere plenty of people only dreamed of. Most people have to flip burgers or deal with soccer moms that are angry about their expired coupon being rejected at Macy’s. But not you. You whined and you complained the entire time we searched for jobs, but you still went through with it. And everyone that truly cares about you is so fucking proud of you.”
Kit’s throat closed tight. He wanted to thank Chad for being so kind to him. He wanted to thank him for being the very definition of a true friend. All he could do instead was choke back another sob and hold Chad even tighter.
“Chad’s right,” Michelle said softly. “You’re gonna find another guy, and another job, and soon all of this will be a memory. You can’t hold onto this, otherwise it’ll consume you and take hold of your entire life.”
“I d
on’t want that,” Kit said, swallowing hard.
“It’s the worst feeling in the world,” Michelle murmured.
“We’re not gonna let that happen,” Chad said. “We’re gonna show the world that Kit isn’t the one to mess with. You may think you’re going to show him up and hurt his feelings, but you’ve got another thing coming. He’s a bad bitch, period.”
Kit looked up at Chad through watery eyes. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
28
Back for Us
Kit wasn’t sure he’d ever studied this hard for anything in his life, not even for his finals during his senior year of collete. The past twenty-four hours had been dedicated to reading up on every little bit of information he could find about Winston & Wolfe. If he was going to nail this interview and get the job, he was going to have to walk into that building with his head held high and all this knowledge tucked under his belt.
Winston & Wolfe was an insurance agency that had come up six months ago, and in those six months, they’d taken off. Unlike Yellow Fall, there was no previous scandal the company was recovering from. There was no risk if Kit worked there. In his eyes, this was a safe job, albeit a boring one. It didn’t matter whether he liked it or not, though. He’d signed a lease. His landlord Donny had given him a chance. He wasn’t going to blow it. He wasn’t going to let the world see him fail.
So, Kit spent the entire day before his interview preparing himself. When it was finally time, he stood in front of the mirror and looked himself over. He wore a simple, understated outfit—something he’d never worn to Yellow Fall before. A black pair of slacks, a blue button up shirt, and a gray tie. Call him crazy, but he felt like going into the new place with a little bit of his past on him would majorly jinx him.
With an hour left until his interview, Kit took a cab to the other side of town and walked the rest of the way. This was the most air he’d gotten in days, and it actually felt good. After his little breakdown in front of Michelle and Chad, Kit had promised to keep himself together and do better for himself. He wasn’t going to wallow away in his own misery, entertaining the idea of giving up completely. He had friends in this, friends like Chad, that would do anything to help him, and friends like Michelle, that were ready to burn Roman and all of Yellow Fall to the ground.