by Kat Mizera
He was still furious in the morning when he got up, but he was dressed and out of the house before anyone else was awake, heading to the gym at the arena to work out. He didn’t usually go in this early, but he didn’t want to see Cassie or her mom, and the gym would hopefully be empty.
Despite his empty stomach, he got on the treadmill and started to run. They didn’t have a game tonight so he could afford to work out hard, even if it meant he’d be a little tired during practice. He had so much pent-up frustration, something had to give and he didn’t want the explosion to come in front of any of his friends. He’d work through the emotions on his own, like he always did, and hopefully no one would ask about Cassie.
Except Ryder, of course. He’d know something was up.
Fuck.
Never again, he thought to himself. He was never putting himself through this bullshit again. Women just weren’t worth the hassle.
Even a sexy, hockey-playing one who made him laugh and want to be a better man.
When the hell had that happened, and what did it even mean?
He picked up speed, hitting the buttons on the treadmill to add some incline, and closed his eyes, letting his body take over and quieting his mind. Exercise and hockey were the two things that usually grounded him, so he was counting on that today. But instead of relaxing into the rhythm of the machine, his thoughts raced against his body.
He went from wanting to get as far away from Cassie as possible to turning around and going home to confront her, ask her what he’d done to make her not trust him. This was all Maya and Frank’s fault. He knew that as sure as he was taking another breath, but that didn’t change the end result, which was Cassie not wanting to take a chance on them.
“What are you doing here this early?”
The unexpected voice beside him nearly made him stumble and Logan looked over in surprise.
“Hey.” He was a little out of breath and kept running, hoping Jude would go do his thing and leave him alone.
“You never work out this early.” Jude got on the treadmill next to his. “Everything okay?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I wouldn’t be out of bed at the ass crack of dawn if I had Cassie in it with me, especially after being gone for a week.”
Logan shrugged. “It’s not like that.”
“Since when?”
“You guys blew everything out of proportion. It was no big deal, just friends with benefits, that’s all. Now we’re done.”
“What’d you do?”
“Why the fuck do you assume I did something?” he snapped in annoyance.
Jude’s eyes widened in surprise. “Whoa, buddy, I’m just trying to be a friend. Don’t bite my head off.”
“Whatever.” Logan was pissed all over again.
“Okay, so what did she do?” Jude was a pretty laid-back guy.
“She decided I’m not a good gamble.”
Jude frowned. “So she broke up with you because she thinks you’ll hurt her?”
“Maybe? She wasn’t very clear, and her mom’s been putting dumb ideas in her head… Anyway, doesn’t matter. It’s all done. Wanna go out tonight?”
Jude frowned. “You sure you want to do that?”
“Oh, yeah. You have no idea how fucking much I need to go out tonight.”
“Okay, I’m in. We’ll figure it out after practice.”
“Cool.” Logan picked up speed again. He wasn’t sure how fast he had to run to get away from thoughts of Cassie, but he was going to give it his best shot.
Beer and burgers at Kendall’s were two of his favorite things and hanging out there with his buddies made it that much better. It had been a shitty twenty-four hours but he was starting to feel like himself again. He’d had to come clean with Ryder about what was going on, but at least that hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach was starting to go away. Maybe this broken heart thing wasn’t so bad and he’d be past it in a day or two. Then he’d find a couple of babes to take to bed and forget all about Cassie.
Yeah, right.
He could put on a show on the outside, but on the inside, he couldn’t fathom some random hookup now. Not after having Cassie in his home, his bed, his life. He was past the initial shock and pain, but it would take longer to stop missing her. He’d never experienced it as an adult, but he remembered what it was like as a teen.
“Hey, do you see what I see?” Ryder was whispering, which wasn’t like him at all.
“No, what?” Logan looked around in confusion, half-expecting to see Cassie here with a date or something.
“Over there.” Ryder nudged Logan’s bar stool so he was facing the door.
A group of firemen had just come in and Frank was among them.
Sonofabitch.
Logan’s chest tightened painfully. That guy was the reason his life was fucked up right now. If he hadn’t screwed around with Maya’s life, it wouldn’t have trickled down to him and Cassie, and he wouldn’t be here right now eating and drinking away a broken heart.
“Noooo…don’t do that.” Ryder put a hand on his arm when Logan started to get up.
“Don’t tell me how to live my life,” Logan muttered, wrenching his arm free.
“No, come on.” Ryder stood up too, blocking Logan’s path.
“Get out of my way,” Logan growled.
“Come on, what good is this going to do? He’s still going to be a lying cheat and you’re still going to be broken up with Cass.”
“But I’ll feel a lot better after I grind my fist into his smug face.”
“There’s like twelve of them and only five of us,” Ryder pointed out. “And I mean, I can take two, but even so, we’re outnumbered by a lot.”
“Fuck that.” Logan started to move but Ryder stayed in front of him.
“Are you sure you want to do this? ’Cause if they call the cops, we’re all going to jail, and Coach will have us skating laps until we die.”
“Why are we going to jail?” Jude asked, getting up to join them. “I’m always down for a good bar fight but I’ll need to know why.”
Logan sighed.
“Fight? We are fighting?” Vik was up now too. “Which team? In Russia, not so much fighting.”
“Not a hockey fight,” Ryder said, jerking a thumb at Logan. “Dumbass here blames Cass’s mom’s boyfriend for Cass dumping him.”
Vik looked confused. “What?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, would you guys just leave me alone?” Logan demanded. “I need to blow off some steam—you don’t have to.”
“But yeah, we kind of do,” Ryder said. “You get in a bar fight, we can’t just sit by and watch you get your ass kicked.”
“I’m not getting my ass kicked.” Logan tried to step around him but now Jude was blocking his way too.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on or what happened, and if you’re gonna fight, I’ll always have your back, but are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, is she worth it?”
“Yes, she’s fucking worth it!” Logan ducked under Ryder’s arm and approached the tables where the firemen had settled.
Frank looked up with a friendly smile until he recognized Logan. Then his eyes darkened and he frowned. “What’s up, man?”
“You tell me.” Logan approached him without hesitation until he was looking down on him. One of Frank’s friends started to get up, but Frank put a hand on his arm, shaking his head slightly.
“Whatever you have to say, say it and move on.”
“Yeah? You know what I have to say?”
“Not in here, you guys.” The female bartender, a middle-aged woman named Norma, jumped over the bar and approached the table. “You’re all regulars here, but if you have beef, you’re not tearing up my place. Take it outside.”
Frank slowly got to his feet. “I don’t have beef with you, Logan.”
“Well, I have beef with you.”
Logan was vaguely aware of Ryder groaning behind him.
“Fine. Let’s go outside.” Frank stalked toward the exit with a few of his buddies on his tail and Logan followed, not caring whether Ryder and the others came along or not. Getting his ass kicked would be better than all this pent-up frustration, and anyway, he could hold his own.
“I don’t know what your problem is, kid, but you don’t want to do this.”
“I don’t think you understand how this works,” Logan replied, fists clenched at his sides.
“What’s got you all worked up?”
His condescending tone pissed Logan off all over again.
“Don’t play dumb with me, asshole. I know what you did to Maya.” He swung his fist, catching Frank in the jaw.
But instead of firing back, Frank paused, his eyes narrowing a little as he held his face. “Nice shot. That’s the only free one you get. Now tell me exactly what I did. She packed up and left without a word while I was at work. Took all the money in the house, too.”
“She should have taken everything,” Logan snapped. “What kind of man does this kind of shit? I mean, it’s one thing to cheat, but moving your side piece into your house? What the fuck? You know she doesn’t have a pot to piss in and now I have to take care of her.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Frank took two long steps until he was eye to eye with Logan, the rest of the guys surrounding them but keeping a little distance.
“Your wife confronted Maya at the house, so don’t play dumb with me.”
“My…” Frank blew out a breath. “You mean, my ex-wife.”
Logan hesitated for a second. “That’s not the story I got.”
Frank blew out a breath. “So you’re telling me my ex came to the house and confronted Maya? What did she say?”
“I don’t know,” Logan admitted. “All I know is Maya’s living at my house now and says you’re married.”
“Divorced!” Frank threw up his hands. “I’m fucking divorced. We signed the final papers…” His voice trailed off. “Last week. The day I came home and found Maya gone. Jesus fucking Christ.”
No one said a word and Logan felt like an ass. Could he have fucked this up any worse than he just did?
“So Gia came to the house, found Maya and lost her shit?”
“I don’t know exactly. According to Maya, she showed her some kind of proof you’re married and the documents to a new house you’re buying or something?”
“Part of the divorce settlement is me buying her a new house because I’m keeping ours. My name has to be on the loan because she doesn’t qualify on her own, but she’s paying the mortgage. So she threw that in Maya’s face and Maya thinks I’m still married?”
Logan gave a half-hearted little shrug. “That seems to be the gist of it.” He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry I hit you. If you need to even the score, I’m happy to take a punch.”
Frank shook his head. “You were being a good guy, looking out for your girl’s mom. We’re cool. I had no idea what happened. Maya moved out, blocked my number, and I didn’t know where she was. I was considering driving up to your place to ask you if you knew, but I was pretty pissed off myself.”
“So you’re not married?” Ryder asked.
“No. We’ve been separated for two years. I wanted to wait to move Maya in until the day we signed the final papers but it was just a couple of weeks and Maya’s lease was ending so I figured it was no big deal.”
“Why didn’t you just tell Maya the truth?”
Frank scratched his chin. “She’s important to me and I didn’t want to scare her off. This is on me for not being completely honest, but I’m not fucking married. We were legally separated, so there was never any cheating either.”
“Let me buy you a beer,” Logan said quietly. “And your friends too.”
“Not necessary.” Frank held out his hand and Logan shook it. “I respect you standing up for Maya.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I needed someone to take it out on because Cassie dumped me too.”
“Damn, the two of them are gun-shy as fuck. I get it, Maya’s been burned pretty badly, more than once, but she should have talked to me. And I’m guessing she laid some guilt on Cassie or warned her that she was next. I adore Maya, but she’s insecure. I was planning on working on that but then she left. Shit.”
The group walked inside and Logan and Frank went to the bar together, the other firemen and Logan’s friends heading back to their respective tables.
“Cassie kind of did the same thing, just randomly broke up with me, saying we were better as friends and roommates.”
“You love her?” Frank’s eyes met Logan’s.
“Yeah…I think I do.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I don’t fucking know. Nothing. I mean, she was so…dismissive, like what we’d shared the last month or two meant nothing. Fuck.” Logan ordered a shot of tequila.
“That hangover tomorrow is only going to make you feel worse, not better,” Frank said, chuckling.
Logan chuckled too. “Yeah, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place because I might have an idea.”
29
Cassie spent the next couple of days after the breakup with Logan looking for small, inexpensive apartments. There was nothing with two bedrooms under a thousand dollars and since Maya couldn’t be counted on to work regularly, Cassie didn’t know if she could take on that much rent, along with utilities, car insurance, gas, and groceries. Not to mention, her income would probably go down once she took the coaching job, which meant she was going to have to reconsider that. Again.
She was so angry at herself for getting into another situation where a guy messed up her plans. Not that Logan had told her to leave, but she couldn’t live here and see him every day. That was just self-inflicted torture. She’d done this to herself, though, so she would get herself out of it, no matter what she had to do.
“Look at this place, honey.” Maya pointed to an apartment she’d found online.
“Mom, it’s fifteen hundred a month. We can’t afford it.”
“I can come up with seven fifty a month.”
“Doing what?”
“I can wait tables, like you.”
Cassie tried not to make a face. “The way you drink? You’ll get fired your first night.”
Maya sighed. “I’m not drinking that much anymore. Frank and I talked about why I used to drink so much and…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes filled with tears. “Fuck. He was so good for me. Why did he have to be married?!”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Cassie squeezed her shoulder.
“I’m trying so hard to be better, hon. Really. I’ve only had a few glasses of wine through this whole breakup. I’ve been running instead.”
Who was this woman and where was her sad, pathetic, alcoholic mother? Cassie glanced at her curiously. “Frank started you running?”
“Well, I had to do something. I couldn’t get fat with a hunk like that in my bed…and now I kind of like it. It makes me feel strong. I’m not sure why, but it does.”
“Exercise and physical strength are empowering. They don’t do as much for a broken heart, but they help.”
“Nothing really helps, but now that we’re being honest, I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.” This couldn’t be good.
“I was wrong; you shouldn’t have broken up with Logan.”
Cassie eyed her. “Now you feel that way?”
“You breaking up with him was a huge test of character, and frankly, he passed with flying colors.”
“What does that even mean?” Cassie demanded.
“It means, he could have kicked us both to the curb. Immediately. But he didn’t. He’s letting not just you, but me, stay here as long as we need to.”
“That’s just because of Coco. Ryder needs me here.”
“Bullshit. I looked it up. You know how much money Ryder makes? Like three million a year and—”
Maya frowned. “It’s public record. The teams have the salary cap stuff so—”
“How do you know all that?”
“Well, my daughter was living with and dating a professional hockey player, so I needed to know what was what. I’m a hot mess emotionally, but there’s nothing wrong with me intellectually.” Maya made a face at her. “Anyway, I looked up both their salaries. They make a buttload of money, so Ryder can find someone else to watch Coco. He may not want to, because it’s better to have someone who’s good with her, but they don’t need you that bad. They want you here, Cass. Especially Logan.”
“Logan’s done with me,” Cassie said quietly. “He’s barely come home the last few nights, and we both know what that means. So it’s a moot point.”
“It’s not. You need to fix this.”
“Oh, sure. You spend days telling me how bad I am at relationships and now you’re telling me to go be in one?”
Maya dipped her head. “I may have been a little heartbroken and needy, so I was trying to put that on you, but it was wrong. Frank hurt me, but I’m bigger than this, and I want more for you than I’ve had. I did have a few glasses of wine that first night, so I was a mess. I apologize.”
Cassie gaped at her mother. She couldn’t remember a time her mother ever apologized, for anything, and it was jarring to hear such heartfelt words now. Especially considering Maya had yet another broken heart.
“Apology accepted, but at the end of the day, I’m not lucky with men either. Obviously. It’s probably for the best.”
“No, it’s not.” Maya stood up and faced her. “If you want to be with him, fight for it, Cass. Neither of your husbands were worth fighting for, but Logan is. And deep down, you know that.”
“Deep down, I’m terrified. Deep down, I have zero faith in myself as someone’s wife or girlfriend. Deep down, I know that Logan has the ability to destroy me emotionally. Neither of my husbands had that kind of power and I don’t think I can give it to someone at this point in my life.”