Liam

by Candice Blake

  “She’s obviously into you. The two of you hung out last night and she barely even knows I exist.”

  “Maybe things will change after the movie. We’ll have to see. When I hung out with her last night, I didn’t plan to stay the night. I just sort of passed out. I know you like her, Liam. If you’re willing to pursue her, then she’s all yours. I’m going to back down. You’re one of my best friends here and we’re teammates. I would never want you to feel like you’re the third wheel, or steal her from you. I just want to be there tonight to make things easier for you, and so you can learn that she’s human too. She’s nothing to be afraid of. Sure, she’s pretty, but you’re fucking handsome too, so stop your overthinking and let’s go see a movie tonight.”

  “You’re really doing all this for me?” I asked.

  “Of course.”

  I moved my scrambled eggs around my plate. I had a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach after what Shawn said to me. He was such a good friend and I didn’t know anyone except maybe Damon who’d do all this just to help me out.

  I tried to eat everything on my plate, because I knew it’d be a while before the dining hall opened for dinner. I also really needed to go back to our dorm and take a nap, if I wanted to not feel like a piece of shit for the movie that night.

  When Shawn and I finished our food, we went back to our room. Damon was still taking his midterm so he wasn’t there.

  Shawn took off his shoes and climbed on his bed. “Do you want to play some Nintendo 64?”

  He turned on the television which was on the desk next to his bed.

  “Sure,” I said, kicking off my shoes and climbing on the bed next to him, then I tossed one of his pillows at his face when he wasn’t expecting it.

  “You bitch,” he said with a smile. Shawn grabbed me by my sides, pinning me down on his bed. “This was the playful side I was talking about in the dining hall. You should just be yourself when you’re with Casey.”

  “It’s easier to be myself around you, because I’m not trying to date you,” I said. “Now, get off me.”

  Our eyes locked for a split second before I quickly looked away and he let go of me. Shawn handed me one of the controllers and he fired up Mario Kart.

  “Do you even know why you’re so shy around girls?” he asked.

  “I’ve always been this way. Maybe it’s because I came from a really sheltered life that made me so shy. I went to an all-boys boarding school when I was younger, so I was never really exposed to talking with girls.”

  “I didn’t know you went to an all-boys boarding school. Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

  “Well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” I said.

  “Was it your choice to go?”

  “Of course not,” I said. “My parents are pretty strict. They wanted me to have the best education so I could go to the best college. Sometimes it feels like they already had my life mapped out before I was even born.”

  “That’s fucking horrible,” he said. “What do they have planned for you?”

  “Well, the reason I’m in business school to begin with, is that they want me to take over my dad’s business one day.”

  “And you don’t want to do that?”

  “Not at all. My dream has always been to play basketball professionally. When I’m on the court, I feel so free. I don’t have to think about anything and I’m completely in the moment.”

  “I see your focus on the court. It’s pretty incredible to watch you practice and you motivate me to be a better player.”

  “I’m focused because I enjoy it. Basketball is my thing. It’s something my parents didn’t force me to do.”

  “You should pursue it then,” Shawn said. “You’re obviously good enough to play on a professional level once we’re done school.”

  I shook my head. “You just don’t know my parents. They’ll murder me before they let me do that.”

  “When I met them when you moved in, they seemed like quite nice people.”

  “I don’t think they’re bad people, just very controlling. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel secure in myself. I don’t really know who I am.”

  “That’s what college is for,” he said. “We can figure out who we are. The best part is we can do it together. My older brother always talks about how amazing his college experience is. I know I’ll rack up a lot of debt coming to this prestigious school, but I will only experience this once. Getting to meet you and Damon has already made it worthwhile.” Shawn took one of his hands off the controller and squeezed my leg. “We’re in this together. Don’t ever forget that.”

  4

  Liam

  Present Day

  I couldn’t stop thinking about the past. It was weird seeing Shawn after so many years, but he acted naturally around me as if we were still college dormmates.

  He brought us to the locker room, then led us into his private lounge. There was a gold plaque on the door with his name on it.

  It looked more like a hotel lobby than it did a locker room.

  “Welcome,” Shawn said, closing the door behind us.

  “Damn, look at you, Shawn,” Damon said. “Does everyone on the team have this?”

  “No,” Shawn said. “I didn’t even ask for my own private lounge, but I guess since my contract was up last year, they really wanted me to sign with them for another season.”

  Shawn opened up the fridge and pulled out a plate of gourmet sandwiches. “You guys hungry?”

  “Starving,” Damon said. “I need to eat something after having so many beers during the game.”

  Shawn put the sandwiches on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Please, have a seat. Make yourselves at home.”

  Damon sat on the couch, and I reluctantly sat down too, taking a deep breath and just trying to relax. I knew Shawn was just trying to be friendly, but I still felt so much animosity toward him.

  Shawn was still sweaty from the game. He took off his jersey and threw it in the hamper. His rock-hard muscles glistened.

  “So, what’s been going on with you guys?” Shawn asked, sitting down on the couch across from me and Damon.

  Damon peeled back the Saran wrap and took a sandwich. “Not much—I’m still adjusting to life as a dad, but I met someone recently who’s really changed my life.”

  “Are you dating someone again?” Shawn asked.

  “Yeah. A man actually.”

  Shawn’s eyes widened. “That’s... unexpected. You never told me you were...”

  “Bi?” Damon asked. “I didn’t know until recently. I haven’t told many people yet. Liam knows of course.”

  Shawn laughed. “You used to make fun of me and Liam for being so touchy-feely. Who knew you would be the one to be dating another man? I’m happy for you though... Liam, have you met him?”

  “I have,” I said. “Jesse’s a really great guy. Funnily enough, he goes to the same college we went to.”

  “Oh, so he’s younger,” Shawn said.

  “He’s young, but quite mature for his age. We actually met in the Single Dads Club Liam and I go to. Jesse has a baby girl around the same age as our kids.”

  Shawn got up from the couch, going to the fridge to get three beers.

  “Are you in a relationship with anyone?” Damon asked Shawn.

  “Nope. I’m still single,” Shawn said, handing the beers to us. “It’s really difficult dating when I’m away so often. The people I go on dates with nowadays always seem to have ulterior motives. I never know if they like me for me, or because I play ball.”

  “Dating’s already tough,” Damon said. “It must be nearly impossible when everyone knows who you are.”

  “Tell me about it. I can’t even leave the house without a bunch of cameras in my face. It’s overwhelming, but I guess this is the life I signed up for.”

  “Do you ever see yourself settling down?” Damon asked.

  “I do,” Shawn said. “But the whole ‘being in a serious relationship’ thing kind of
scares me.”

  “Are you happy with your life now?” Damon asked.

  “I’ve never been happier—it just feels like something’s missing. Traveling and playing ball is fun, but it’s starting to get a bit old for me. Maybe we could trade lives for a day so I could see what it’s like to be a dad.”

  Damon laughed. “You’re certainly welcome to take my son Brooklyn for a day and see how stressful it is to raise a baby.”

  “Brooklyn’s the most well-behaved baby I’ve ever met,” I said. “It wouldn’t be a good representation of what raising a baby is really like. I mean, Hayden’s really easy to care for too. I guess we got pretty lucky.”

  “You guys don’t give yourselves enough credit,” Shawn said. “Maybe you guys are just good fathers, and your kids are well-behaved because of it.”

  Shawn opened his beer and drank almost half of it in a few seconds. He used to do that in college to impress people. I guessed some things never really changed.

  “I’m still so sweaty after the game. I should shower,” Shawn said. “There’s a lot more beer in the fridge. Liam, I know how much you like craft beers, please help me drink some of them.”

  I smiled, because he remembered my love for craft beer. “Do you remember when I tried to homebrew in our dorm?”

  “Yes,” Damon and Shawn answered at the same time.

  I laughed.

  “Our room stank for weeks,” Shawn said, “And the residence don knocked on our door one day asking if we knew why it smelled like a brewery.”

  “I can’t believe you guys remember that,” I said, still laughing.

  “I remember everything from our freshman days.” Shawn said. “It was the best year of college. Getting to find myself, and learning about the world with you two, made me into the man I am today.”

  “Don’t get all sappy on us now,” Damon said.

  “It’s fucking true though,” Shawn said. “I mean everything I say.”

  Shawn got up off the couch to shower. He went over to the closet first, and I was surprised when he pulled his red basketball shorts down in front of me and Damon, exposing his cock. He didn’t seem to care at all, and neither did Damon. The three of us had seen each other naked countless times in college, and we were in a locker room after all, but it still caught me by surprise. Shawn’s body remained a work of art even after all these years. To be in better shape than he was in college must’ve taken a lot of discipline.

  Shawn wrapped a white towel around his waist and went into the other room to shower. I heard the water turn on and steam slowly escaped out of the doorway.

  “I don’t know why the three of us don’t hang out like this ever,” Damon said.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It feels a bit weird to see him after not talking for so many years. Why did he want to reconnect with us now?”

  “Maybe he was reminiscing about the past and wanted us to be back in his life. It’s funny how you and he were so close, yet you and I are the closer ones now.”

  “Well, we did start a business together,” I said.

  Damon turned the TV on and, of course, it was on the sports channel, playing highlights of the game we’d just watched live. They played a montage of all the points Shawn scored throughout the game. He was so photogenic on TV, and he moved with so much stamina. There was a reason why he remained one of the top-paid athletes after all these years. He was just built for it and good at the game.

  Damon’s phone started ringing in his pocket, and he pulled it out. “It’s Jesse. Let me take this really quick.”

  Damon stepped out of the room.

  I hoped he’d return before Shawn got out of the shower, so it wasn’t just the two of us in there.

  I heard the shower turn off.

  “Can someone grab me my towel?” Shawn called out.

  Damon was still on the phone, so I guessed I had to do it.

  I grabbed his white towel from his closet and went into the bathroom. It was so steamy that it was hard to see in there.

  As I walked closer, I could see Shawn’s naked body faintly through the glass cubicle. Water was dripping from every part of his body, his cock included. He gave me a head nod and I walked over to him. His cock was completely visible and I was reminded of how big he was. Seeing him naked made me hard, which surprised me at first, because it’d been a long time since anyone had made me hard like that. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing this on purpose, or if it was just in my head.

  “Thanks,” he said, as I handed him the towel. He smelled of the same body wash he used in college. “While you’re in here, take a look at how nice the shower is.”

  He stepped aside as he dried himself and I poked my head to take a look inside the cubicle. There were three different showerheads and various jets on the walls.

  “If I turn them all on at once on full power, it feels like I’m stranded outside during a hurricane,” Shawn said.

  I pictured it in my head and it made me laugh.

  “It’s definitely an upgrade from our lockers in college.”

  “You used to make fun of me for how long my showers were,” Shawn said. “Do you remember that?”

  “Of course, I remember,” I said. “We only had two showers on our floor, and nine times out of ten, when everyone was waiting to use it, you’d be the one who was in there.”

  “I always liked to be in the shower. Nothing beats showering after a long workout or a game. I was showering so much in college, because I was so active. It was better than having our dorm room smell of my sweaty balls.”

  “That’s true,” I said.

  I realized we were talking way too long in a bathroom together while he was still naked.

  “I’ll head back outside,” I said.

  I went back to sit on the couch.

  Moments later, Shawn walked out of the bathroom, with the towel draped around him. Droplets of water rolled down his boulder shoulders and chest.

  “Where’d Damon go?” he asked.

  “He’s just on the phone,” I said.

  Shawn went back over to the closet and dropped his towel. It pooled on the floor. As much as I didn’t want to look, I couldn’t help myself. His strong, hairy legs somehow managed to make me feel weak. His skin was tanned like he’d just come back from a tropical vacation somewhere.

  I was straight. Hell, I was a single father for god’s sake, but the memories of everything that had happened between us in the past drew my eyes back toward him.

  I wondered if Shawn had undressed in front of me on purpose. To tease me, to make me wonder what could’ve been.

  He slipped his white Calvin Klein’s on and the outline of his cock was visible in them. My mouth started to feel dry and I took a sip of beer to quench my thirst. Shawn put on a t-shirt and sweatpants before he sat back down on the couch.

  “What made you name your kid Hayden?” he asked.

  “Well, when I was growing up, my parents forced me to play the piano. I hated it until I discovered the composer Joseph Haydn. Even though I stopped playing many years ago, I still listen to a lot of Haydn. My ex-wife put it on a lot when she was pregnant with our son. After he was born, I chose Hayden as an homage to the composer. I added an ‘e’ to his name so it’s easier to spell for people.

  “I want to meet him one day,” Shawn said. “Does he look like you?”

  “People think so, but I don’t see it.”

  Shawn smiled. “Show me a picture and I’ll be the judge.”

  I pulled out my phone and showed him the photo of Hayden I had as my wallpaper.

  Shawn looked at it, then back at me a few times.

  “You guys have the same eyes. The color is the same green as the leaves of the hundred-year-old sycamore tree outside the window of our dorm. I wonder if it’s still there.”

  Once again, Shawn surprised me, because he remembered such a specific detail that only we could relate to.

  “The tree’s still there. I walked by it the other day, and it
’s exactly the same as it was twenty-seven years ago.”

  Shawn looked at the photo a bit longer, and he smiled. “He’s so handsome and he looks so much like you.”

  His eyes crinkled at the corners. The smile was so genuine that I found it hard to hold the grudge I had held against him for all these years.

  “Does he know any words yet?” Shawn asked.

  “He knows only one, and it’s Da-da.”

  “It must be nice to have a little version of yourself here in this world. I bet life feels a bit less lonely with a human being who’s essentially half of you.”

  “He’s been my rock ever since my ex-wife left. I don’t know what I’d do without Hayden.” I looked into Shawn’s deep-blue eyes. “Do you... feel lonely?”

  “Sometimes,” he said, sitting back on the couch and taking another sip of beer. “I have all these nice things—nice cars, nice women, nice vacations—but the thing I don’t have is someone I know who’s completely there for me. It’s the reason why I asked Damon to invite you to the game tonight. I know you and I haven’t talked in a while, so I hit up Damon to give him two tickets, hoping you’d take one of them. I was so surprised when you actually showed up.”

  “I was really close to not coming tonight, but Damon asked me so many times, I finally had to agree.”

  “I don’t blame you. It’s a bit awkward after all these years of not talking, but I want both you guys back in my life again. I want my best friends back.”

  I could see a bit of sadness in Shawn’s blue eyes. I’d rarely seen Shawn look upset before. He was good at hiding any negative emotions, he always had been. In television interviews, he was always smiling. When he was on the court, he always looked like he was having the time of his life. But, in this private moment in the locker room, I got to see something in Shawn no one else saw. I saw a rawness in him that reminded me how real he was. I was so used to seeing him on my television screen, reading tabloids to fuel my grudge toward him, I’d forgotten all the things that made me so close to him in the first place.

  Damon returned to the room. “Sorry, was talking to the boyfriend.”