by Erin Havoc
That’s enough to make rage boil in my blood again. “Actually, we are finished business. Don’t you know? You suck. I don’t. Goodbye.”
I try to open the door again but he holds it closed easily. “Vivian.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“It’s your name,” he says with a chuckle. And I know I’m not in my right mind, but he just... He makes me feel all over the place. Not in control. And I don’t like it that much. Because once upon a time I could fall back into him. Now I know I can’t.
Gripping the bag strap until my knuckles bleach, I stare at him fiercely. “I don’t want to talk about the past, Austin. Things happen in the present, so I don’t dwell on what’s gone.”
Austin’s eyes grow soft. “We loved each other once, and I—”
“Love is many things, Austin. But it is not deceitful.” I reach for the handle again. “Please. I get it, you had to leave. But it hurt me, and I don’t want to go there again.”
We stand like that for what feels like forever. His head drops and he finally releases the door. I open it and drop my things into the passenger seat.
“Let me take you home.”
My eyes almost bulge out of their sockets as I grimace at this obstinate man. He doesn’t give up! “Of course not!”
“You can’t drive anyway,” he says, kicking my front tire.
I cock a brow, following the place where his foot touches the car.
A flat tire.
No. Are you kidding me? Fate, is that you? God? What have I done? Are You trying to screw me over?
Picking my bags once more, I slam the door shut with too much strength. “I’ll call an Uber. Then I’ll message Hunter and ask him about your schedule, so I can come to pick my car on your day off.”
“Savage.” Austin laughs, digging his hands into his pockets. “Then I’ll follow you home and I’ll call your name out of your window until you talk to me.”
As if I find that romantic. It’s not. At all.
“I don’t care.”
“I’ll turn into my fox in the middle of the night and I’ll howl all night long, not letting you sleep.”
So he’s a fox. He says it off-hand as if I knew that. I curl my nose. “What’s your problem?”
“You. And me. I don’t want to part like this.”
My girl parts whisper “Take him home. Sleep with him. It’s just once.” Yeah, I’ve missed the sex like crazy but I didn’t know I had that little slut inside me.
“Fine,” I say with a sigh, locking my car and placing my hands on my hips. “Fine. As long as you stop bothering me.”
And with a smile, he nods and darts inside the fire station to grab his keys. I know I’m going to regret this. I feel it coming. But it’s just a ride home. It doesn’t mean a thing.
Even if my heart thinks the perfect opposite.
6
AUSTIN
Hell, I don’t know who burst her tire, but I’ll thank him later.
Vivian’s smell takes every inch of my car. I don’t roll down the windows, not an inch, and I hope to drown in that citric, lemony scent of hers.
As a teenager, I had barely learned how to shift into and out of my fox when we met. And I knew, from the moment our gazes locked in that first day at school, that we were meant to be.
It was a feeling. A tug deep in my stomach, telling me it was her. Impossible to ignore. Unable to turn away. Before the end of the month, we were dating. We were a thing for the next two-and-a-half years. Our families shared Christmas dinners.
We were going to get married. It was surefire.
Then it all came crashing down with that Andy sucker. I didn’t care about his girl. All I wanted was some peace, and to marry my Vivian, and have cubs. Every shifter’s dream. But, no. He had to ruin it.
And I had to run. I had no other option.
So I had to bid my time and develop patience. Even if I have almost lost all hope.
After a couple of minutes driving in silence, I accept I can’t go long without hearing her voice. “So,” I say after clearing my throat, “photographer.”
She doesn’t turn to me as she mumbles, “Yeah.”
“I remember you were fond of your parents’ old camera. We used to go into the woods to capture wildlife.”
“And to think I had wildlife next to me in bed,” she says in an even tone.
Ouch. But I guess I deserve that. “True. But then, I would have been a lousy model. Isn’t wildlife photography about spontaneity?"
I catch her shooting me an amused glance, and I hold on to that with everything I’ve got. But when she turns back to the window, all she says is, “Turn right here.”
My heart sinks inside my chest. I know I already learned to live without her, without my mate, but it’s just so much harder to accept that when she’s so close. When I know we live in the same city, so close to one another. When her body feels the same crazy connection.
“Firefighter, huh?” She says after a couple of minutes, and I almost kiss her in gratitude. But then again, I’d kiss her for anything. That’d be an easy feat. “I thought you wanted to be a teacher.”
I shrug. “Yeah, it kind of lost the magic. I liked the study club we had back in school. And the volunteering we did together. But then, after I moved,” I shrug again, shooting her a glance, “it sort of lost its appeal.”
She meets my eye and I know she gets what I mean. “But firefighter?”
“I still wanted to help people, so either firefighter or policemen. Turns out the neighborhood we moved into had a bunch of other shifters. They suggested I should become a firefighter. The shifter genes make me sturdier, so it’s a plus for the area.”
She nods, turning ever so slightly in my direction. “That’s nice. Is that the reason, then? You guys focus on that profession because you have fewer risks?”
“Of course. If someone gotta take the dangerous tasks, it better be one of us. We take much more of a beating before we drop.”
“But what about your mother?”
I stop at a red light, snapping my head to look at her. “My mother? What about her?”
“She used to be so worried about you, and what happened in school. Isn’t she more worried now?”
“Oh,” I say with a laugh. “No. Can you believe it? She used to be on edge because... You know, exactly because of what happened. She feared someone would find out I was a shifter and they’d try to hurt me. But now, I’m among other shifters. It’s safer.”
Vivian laughs, and I soak in that sound. It’s rich and glorious. Would that be weird if I recorded it with my phone? I mean, she wants to see the back of me, anyway. So I better keep a memory. “That’s so crazy. Humans are afraid of you, and you are afraid of humans. Why in the hell isn’t everyone living in peace, right?”
“I’m not saying I’m afraid of humans, I can take on a couple of buff dudes by myself,” I say with a shimmy to my shoulders.
She punches my arm lightly. “I remember that. You just love to brag.”
“Is it bragging if it’s true, though?”
“Yes.” She nods, laughing harder. And I hang on to that sound and make it my one goal to hear more of it. I slow the car down and we ride down through the streets to her place, making jokes and remembering the past. It’s much lighter now, nostalgic, and covered in sterling memories.
We settle for a while on everyone’s favorite high school subject: talking shit about others. In-between, she tells me about her parents and new friends, and how much she loves making studio albums of pregnant pets. She even pulls out her phone to show me her favorites — fat kittens, and bald pups, and Golden Retriever with huge bellies and large smiles.
Her eyes glint and she starts to touch me more. It begins with elbowing and nudges, but then she’s touching my arm as she laughs and I’m not sure she notices it. So I do the same. When the story gets interesting, I bring a hand to her shoulder or her elbow, and I smile as if that’s the most casual thing in the world.
<
br /> As if it doesn’t make my cock harden in my pants. And I’m freaking glad she can’t notice it in this position.
We arrive sooner than I expected — and I try to slow any progress. I park and jump out of my car before she has any chance to escape. But Vivian’s ambling now, and she doesn’t pick her bags as she exits the car. She waits for me as I approach her, her big eyes wide in expectation.
“This was fun,” she says, her voice tiny. “Sorry if I was such a bitch earlier.”
My moves have to be calculated. Aloof. She’s giving me a chance to approach, and if I move too much, or too fast, I might just miss my chance. I press a hand next to her on the hood of the car. “You were not a bitch. You have every reason to be pissed at me.”
“Yeah, but... It’s been so long, you know? I had no right to dump it on you.”
“You had every right, Vivian.” Inch by inch, I reach out to run my fingers through her hair. It’s as soft and gorgeous as it has always been. “I thought I would never see you again. I had already gotten used to the idea. But now that you’re right in front of me...” I release a sigh. “God, you’re so beautiful it hurts. How is that even possible?”
She swallows, and I expect her to run, but she doesn’t. Instead, her gaze drops to my mouth.
Lord, let this be a sign. Let me read this right.
“Yeah, I was thinking just the same in the station,” she mumbles under her breath, and we approach, a magnetic force pulling us together. Her breath skims my lips, and I taste her on my tongue. Her lashes make tiny shadows on top of her cheeks and I run a finger down her face to her chin, tilting it up.
“You were?”
She nods, her hands coming to rest around my hips. Comfortable. Familiar. The place they’re meant to be. “Yeah. How unfair was it, you know? In a place full of shifters, the hottest one was my freaking ex.”
I laugh into her mouth, brushing our lips together, studying her reaction. Her eyes flutter shut, and my heart skips a beat as I pray for this to work.
For her to be mine.
“I need to taste you.” I press my body to hers, and hers against the car. She lets me, releasing a gasp.
“Just once, okay?” She cocks her head and half-opens her mouth.
And I don’t care to say “just once” is not enough. Not now, not like this. My body has a limit. My fox has only enough patience. Roping her strands between my fingers, I clash our mouths together, prying her lips open for me.
She tastes like sweet memories and a perfect future. And I can’t have enough of her.
My cock digging into her lower belly, I devour Vivian’s lips, tasting the sweetness of her in my mouth. Her tongue sweeps over mine in hungry motions, and she digs her fingers into my hips, pulling me even closer.
It grows furious. The motions. Our breathing. We gasp into the kiss, and I hold her head in place as I eat her up. All these years dreaming of her, wanting her, and I don’t dare to leave one inch of her lips unexplored. Vivian heaves against me, circling her hips against mine.
With my heart beating against hers, we move into one another. Hips meeting, her breasts brushing against my chest, I hold her close and commit her taste to memory.
Vivian stands on the tips of her toes, and I ram my cock against her pussy. The scent of her arousal hits me like a truck, and I’m growling into the kiss as lust spreads through my body. My mind’s growing foggy, and I’m focused on her. Her pleasure, her body. Her. Me.
Skimming down her sides, I take handfuls of her round hips, her delicious backside, and move into her. With long strokes against her center, I bring her lower lip between my teeth and suck on it. Then I’m exploring her throat, biting along her pulse, sucking on her skin.
And there’s this place, the connection between her shoulder and neck... The place I’d leave my mating mark. If I were more of a sucker, I’d do it. Right now. I’d shackle her to me for all eternity, so no other male would dare to look her way.
But that’s not right, and I’ve already broken her heart in this life.
Vivian’s sounds grow breathless as she rubs herself against me, and I feel the knots of her nipples pebble against my shirt. “Fuck,” I groan into the vale of her breasts, my mouth watering with how much I want to lick them. “I might just blow right here.”
She chuckles breathlessly, holding on to me, still moving. “Wouldn’t you rather... do it somewhere private?”
I break the contact so I can meet her eyes. “Are you sure of that?”
Vivian’s eyes glaze with lust as she nods. “Just once. Right?”
7
VIVIAN
We stumble into my apartment, limbs interlaced, mouths brushing. Kicking the door shut, my hands are on Austin’s shirt, tugging it up. He throws it off and grips my hips. Tugging my pants down, he slides his hands to my backside. I jerk, pressing my hips against his, groaning to the feel of his manhood.
I have never undressed this quick. Austin pulls my boots off as we walk backwards to my room. I unsnap his jeans as he frees me of my shirt. Fingers cup my breasts as I rake my nails down his chest.
He looks so much better shirtless. All fine angles and defined muscles. I splay a hand over his pec, gripping his hair with the other. The smooth, orange strands run through my fingers, and I have a painful flashback to our first kiss.
To the first time our lips clashed together, and the tentative swipes of our tongues. To the first times we touched, and the almost innocent way we discovered pleasure together.
Nope. Nope, this is so not the time.
We’re down to our underwear, and I stand on tiptoes to hold his jaw and bring him even closer. Our bodies touch everywhere, and I’m not even paying attention where we’re headed to. My back touches a wall and I let Austin press me there.
A hand skimming down my side, he brings one of my thighs up against his hip. “Have I mentioned,” he breathes into my mouth, “you’re the hottest woman ever put on Earth?”
I chuckle, breathless as his fingers trace the underside of my leg. “No need to flatter me. I’m already into it.”
“No flattery, just the truth,” he says between kisses, his teeth raking down the side of my jaw to explore my neck. I imagine him opening his mouth wide and biting into me. Marking me. Sinking his teeth into my flesh and making me his mate.
That would have been the plan once. But not anymore.
My heart has no place in this. All I want at this moment is the sheer memory of how he knew my body. How much of an expert on my pleasure he used to be.
To prove this point, Austin fingers the lace of my panties, running a digit up and down my soaked cleft. I release a shuddering breath, pulling him closer and hiding my face in his neck. His lips now explore my ear, sucking, nibbling in that way he knows I love.
“So wet for me,” he growls, making me even wetter. That’s new. He wouldn’t usually neither growl nor say this kind of thing.
I pull back to look into his handsome face. “You used to be quieter.” I smile, a trembling action that doesn’t conceal the haze of lust.
He shakes his head, pressing our foreheads together. His fingers still trail my covered pussy, prodding against my clit. “Yeah, it’s the pent-up desire. I’ve been dying to have a taste of you again. You can’t blame a man for going half-mad wanting you.”
I bite my lower lip, and Austin’s eyes seem to flicker with something darker. An unabashed, bold lust, unlike anything we’ve ever felt.
Gripping the waistband of his boxers, I pull it enough so I can curl my fingers around his cock. And wow, how did I miss it. Thick and long and pulsing with need. Austin quivers as I take a hold of it, his eyelids fluttering. And I know I have as much power over him as he has over me.
Flicking my wrist, I jerk him off. Slowly. Just a tease. I press my thumb to his slit, capturing his precome.
If Austin’s going darker, then I’m going filthy too.
Bringing the hand up, I suck on his precome, never breaking eye-contact. I tilt the
side of my lip, feeling like a temptress. In control.
But something snaps inside Austin. I can almost hear it. His eyes follow the motion of the thumb to my lips, and he stares for a mute moment, my heart beating in my ears. Then his hands are on my backside and he hoists me up to his lap. We’re inside my bedroom next and he flops me down on the bed. I bounce, gasping in surprise as I meet his eyes.
Austin’s changed. That much I can see. The pent-up lust he mentioned has taken over.
He’s out of his boxers in a second, crawling his way up my bed. I have a glimpse of the predator in him, the shifting eyes and the parted lips, his stance. The brawny arms bulging as he approaches. His cock stands proud, tall, and twitching against his stomach, pointing at me like a compass.
“You drive me crazy,” he says in a rumble, his voice low in his throat.
It makes me wonder if I ever had a glimpse of this real, wild Austin. Maybe I should be scared — he’s nothing like the Austin from my memories. But instead of being frightened, my body has a different reaction.
My nipples pebble so hard they ache. Ache for his touch, his exploration. I heave, trying to will air into my lungs, but to no use. Austin’s hands come up my thighs, roughly, his fingers grasping, feeling. He parts my legs and pulls me flush against him, our hips clashing.
His member rubs against my pussy, and I moan, more wetness leaving me and coating my panties. I’m sodden, heat licking at my limbs as Austin makes quick work of the clasp of my bra. It comes off in a heartbeat, and I’m not allowed to feel any kind of shame. His hands take my wrists and drive them up, keeping them over my head. I try to move, but Austin’s grip is tight, not allowing me any kind of motion with my upper body.
To his delight. He opens a ravenous smirk and fastens his lips around one nipple, sucking it. Hard.
I cry out, his teeth raking along my sensitive flesh. But Austin doesn’t give a shit. He pummels my mound, jerking his hips in time with my futile attempts to free myself. His grip is bruising and I find myself loving it.
Hell, and I thought I was a vanilla girl.