by Nikki Rome
Jason: I never meant to hurt you again. I’m sorry.
After about ten minutes with no response, he pulled away and headed back to his office. He had made a mess of everything and as much as he wanted to be with her; he knew in his heart she needed some time alone. Instead of pushing things, he decided his time would be better spent going through the intel his team had gathered on Devon.
Pulling into the underground garage, he wiped into the spot reserved for his car and got out to head up to the office. It was getting late, but he knew his team would still be there. Arrangements needed to be made and they wouldn’t have left before hearing from him. He approached the conference room the guys had lovingly named the “War Room” and found Mike there with Red, Mac, Athena, and a few others from his alpha team.
“Do you even own a pair of jeans?” Mac snapped the second he saw him.
“Fuck off. I’m not in the mood. Besides, you look like shit half the time so you have no grounds to talk.”
“What? I make dirty look hot.” Mac winked and laughed while Athena punched him in the shoulder.
“Leave him alone, clearly he’s pissed,” she said through gritted teeth.
“What did you find out?” he asked, crossing the room and falling into the chair at the head of the table.
Mike was the first to speak up. “Christy wasn’t his first.”
“What?” he said, raising an eyebrow in Mike’s direction.
“I mean, she wasn’t the first woman he did some shady shit to. There were some complaints from old girlfriends who were paid off by his family. In fact, it appears domestic abuse and having a genuinely evil nature runs in his family, so payoffs are commonly handed out. These people are dirty, and not in a good way.”
“Dirty politicians, surprise, surprise.” Jason said shaking his head, “Will any of them work with us?”
“I don’t know yet. I have some feelers out and I’m trying to determine what our next move is.”
“How did we miss this?”
“We did a surface level review back in the day. There were no indicators that would have caused concern.”
“I want to pick the piece of shit up and then tear him to pieces.”
“I’m all for a healthy dose of revenge, but someone will notice if we just pick him up and hide him away. I need time to gather something legit.”
“Work faster.”
Athena and the guys all exchanged glances.
“I know what you are all thinking. We have worked together for too long for me not to realize you all think I’m nuts.” He tapped his finger over the dreaded file in front of him. “I want you to think of the most important person in your life, and then I want you to picture them beaten nearly to death. Now, I want you to think about how you would feel because you couldn’t do anything to stop it. This is not an official mission, it’s not an order, this is me trusting the people in this room to help me right a grievous wrong that was done to a woman who means the world to me.” He paused, “When you have made up your minds whether you can help, find me in my office.”
He stood and walked out without even glancing behind him.
Chapter Nine
Jason gave Christy as much time as he could. It was eating him up inside that she was still upset with him. He couldn’t sleep, so he had spent most of the night pacing his apartment. He had been back in her life for such a short time and was already causing her pain. He drove to her apartment Thursday night, hoping for the best. After giving her a day to herself, he sent her a text once he parked outside.
Jason: Can I come up?
He waited, tapping his hand on his knee while he prayed she would see him.
Christy: Yes.
He jumped out of the car and bolted into the lobby of her apartment complex. Waiting for the elevator was torture. He would have taken the stairs if she weren’t on the 23rd floor. There was no way that he would be faster than the damn elevator. As soon as he got to her door he knocked. Then, slowly but surely, he heard her undo the locks. Listening, he realized she had too many locks. He felt like a total dumb ass. He was so distracted by her when he came to pick her up; he didn’t even notice the locks on her door. The signs were there all along; he was just too blind to see them. From now on, he planned to keep his head on straight and stop thinking with his dick. It would be the only way for the two of them to work things out, and it was the only way he could keep her safe. Letting him in the apartment was a gigantic step in the right direction. Now he needed to make sure he didn’t mess things up.
Christy knew there was no way around this. Something about Jason made her want to spill her guts. She tossed and turned all night thinking that maybe if she just laid it all out there then he would turn away and leave her alone. The tears that shook her body all night were tied to the thoughts of that happening. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she needed him. After losing it on the sidewalk, she knew he wouldn’t let it go. Wishing she could pretend she was normal and nothing happened to her would not help them move forward.
She opened the door and saw the man who made her emotions run wild. She wanted to jump into his arms and that idea alone was terrifying. He was a few feet back from the door as if he didn’t want to crowd her, and instead of his normal cocky smile he wore an expression of sadness. Then he spoke.
“I just needed to know you were okay.”
She turned and made a motion for him to follow her. He closed the door behind himself, and secured each of her locks again, and crossed the room to sit next to her on the couch. He could tell she was uncomfortable with the seat he chose, but to hell with it. He wasn’t touching her, he just needed to be close to her.
“I know I said I had gathered information about the attack, but I want to hear it from you. Will you tell me what happened?”
“So we are just going to jump right into all this, huh?”
“I don’t see another way. Do you?”
“I suppose not, but there isn’t much to add if you have the case file. I’m sure everything is in there.”
“Please, Christy, I know what I read and saw in pictures. I need the complete story, I have so many unanswered questions.”
Horrified, she turned to him, “Pictures?”
“Yes,” he conceded, “The pictures of the crime scene and the pictures from the hospital.”
Her pulse raced. There was no hiding anymore. She made the mistake of looking up at him. Those eyes, the same eyes she loved so many years before, were staring down at her and she felt whole. She wanted to trust him, and the need to tell him became overwhelming.
“Devon had a bit of a temper,” she began, “He always did, and if I were honest with myself, I had known in my heart that he would reach a breaking point. I just didn’t understand the severity of what he was capable of. We had been together for just over a year. It made sense. Me and him. Two junior attorneys moving up the ranks in our own firms. We had common friends, networks of people, and it made sense for us to remain together even though our relationship was shit.”
She tucked her legs under herself and pulled a pillow to her chest, “One night he had asked me to marry him, so I said yes. I didn’t love him, I just figured it was the next step to take. I always assumed love would come down the line.” She hung her head in shame and felt Jason shift to reach for her. She sat up straight and saw him slowly pull his hand back.
“Devon wanted a baby. I knew it made little sense because our relationship was so rocky, but he promised he would be the best husband and father. He had been trying to manage his anger and was seeing a therapist, so I agreed. I had gotten off the pill a few months before the wedding, knowing it would take some time to even things out. To my surprise, I was pregnant the first month I stopped taking birth control.”
Jason took in a ragged breath.
“I was just over three months along and I had an appointment at the OBGYN. He was supposed to meet me there, but when he didn’t show up, I just assumed he got tied up with a client. I wa
s starving, so I made a rash decision to stop into the deli next door and get some lunch.” Christy’s hands trembled, so she laid them flat in her lap, pausing as she gathered her emotions before she went on.
“He wasn’t a no-show, it turned out he was just late. Devon was always the jealous type, and many of our disagreements began with him misinterpreting something. A comment someone made, a gesture, I lived on pins and needles trying to gauge his moods.”
Shaking her head, she said, “I was so stupid! I should have just gotten my food to go, but I was famished, and I made a terrible decision by deciding to sit and eat there. When he walked by the window, he saw me, but I wasn’t alone. One of the younger attorneys from my firm was there getting lunch, and he joined me. When he saw me, I could see the rage in Devon’s eyes. He approached the table, greeted my coworker and told him he would steal me away. He was so calm it was frightening. By the time we were to the car, he couldn’t contain himself.”
She chanced a look up at Jason before continuing. “He hadn’t hit me since I had become pregnant. He was keeping up his promise however I knew, after that afternoon our truce wouldn’t last. I suppose you know the rest from the reports.”
“I want to hear it from you,” he said.
“I don’t know how much I can tell you; I was unconscious for a lot of it. He had me tied to the bed in our guest bedroom. He called and canceled our cleaning service, but they didn’t get his message. Rosa found me bound and gagged, bleeding out on the bed. It had been three days; I didn’t remember much more until after I awoke at the hospital.”
Jason was afraid to ask, but he needed to know. “And the baby?”
He could see the tears welling up in her eyes and he hated himself for asking.
“I miscarried. The doctors said if Rosa didn’t find me, I would have bled out. He never hit my belly however the stress of it all brought it on.” She paused, then said, “I remember that though. I remember little about the entire ordeal, but I remember the pains when they started. I remember being tied to the bed and just wanting to curl into a ball and I remember him screaming at me. Screaming at me for killing his son. I know the entire time was terrible, but that is the one thing that stands out more than anything. The miscarriage and him blaming me are the memories that still haunt my dreams.”
She stopped talking; he hadn’t been more regretful and grateful in his entire life. Listening to her recount the events had filled in the information missing from what he uncovered the night before. It was a huge step for both of them. He hadn’t read through her entire medical file; he felt devastated knowing the entire thing that happened while she was pregnant. When a woman needs support, kindness, and protection from a man, Christy had been subjected to torture by the father of her child.
“Tell me about now, what is life like for you since everything has happened?”
“Some nights I wake up screaming from the nightmares, other days the anxiety is crippling. I’ve changed everything about my life to avoid memories from the past. I’ve even changed dry cleaners for fear of running into him, but I’m working through it all. Slowly, and with the help of my therapist. Life is… difficult sometimes.”
He looked up at her and found she was avoiding eye contact again. God, what he wouldn’t give to just reach over and pull her into his lap. To hold her and tell her everything would be fine, and he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her again. But how could he guarantee that? There is no guarantee everything would be fine, and the lives they built individually didn’t involve one another. The problem he was facing now was that he knew in his heart he couldn’t walk away from her again.
“Christy, look at me.” She lifted her head and had tears streaming down her face.
“I need to touch you, I want to hold you, but I will settle with just touching you for now. Will you let me comfort you?”
She looked up at him with both longing and fear in her eyes. Jason slid closer to her, hoping for the best.
“I’m just going to put my arm on the back of the couch. Then when you’re ready, you come to me, okay?”
Reaching behind her with his arm, he was careful not to brush into her. If they would do this, then he needed to move slow. He had done nothing slow in his entire life, but now it seemed like there was so much riding on this one moment. She straightened and he could see the tension in her body as he made his move, but she didn’t run. That was progress. Sitting in silence, it took a few minutes, but eventually she relaxed.
“I know this is hard for you, but I need you to listen to me,” he sighed, “We have been through a lot and we can get through this too. The years apart feel like they never happened. You have always been there, Christy, always a part of me somehow. I just didn’t realize what I had lost until it was too late.” She leaned back. Not into his arms, as he had hoped, but back against the couch. The back of her head was resting on his forearm and it took everything in him not to pull her closer. He could tell she was trying, but this was difficult for her.
“Do you want me to get you something, a drink maybe?” he asked.
“No, I just… I just want to stay like this if it’s okay.” She turned her body into his and leaned into his side. Not long after, she fell asleep. He waited until she was sleeping soundly to pull her closer, and without her realizing it, she snuggled in tighter to his side. He stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Just sitting there, holding her. Anger still consumed him, and the thoughts of how he would ruin Devon were running through his mind. Devon needed to be put down like the wild animal he was.
Chapter Ten
Around 3:00 in the morning Jason was so uncomfortable sitting on the couch he decided he needed to make a move. Christy hadn’t budged, but his neck and back were killing him. He wanted to carry her to her room, but if she woke, it would be disastrous. He had to risk it, though. His phone was on the counter, and he could hear it buzzing for the last couple hours. Parked outside, his driver was probably wondering what time he would get off, so he needed to at least call him and let him go. Christy needed to get into her own bed and he didn’t want to wake her. He reached around with his left arm and scooped her up to his chest. From there he could get his feet under himself and stand. The apartment was still lit up because he hadn’t gotten up to turn off the lights. He followed the hallway down to her room and placed her gently on her bed. He reached to take her shoes off but left her dressed, he too scared to wake her up by trying to help her change. Still dressed from the office, he pulled off his jacket and threw it over the chair in her room. He wasn’t going anywhere tonight; there was no way he was leaving her.
Jason headed to the kitchen and grabbed his phone. When he got there, he found over 30 messages. First, he sent a text to his driver and told him to head home, then he worked his way through everything else. The team he had on Devon had been trying to get in touch with him. It appears Devon had had his own eyes on Christy and knew that she had been talking to an unknown man. Since the unknown man was him, this entertained him. As he kept reading, his anger increased with each message. Red, one of his team leads, was trying to notify him that Devon had driven by Christy’s apartment building three times in the last few hours.
Pissed the fuck off, he wanted to call and scream at his guys. Unfortunately, that would wake up Christy, so he settled for the next best thing.
Jason: What the fuck do I pay you all for?
Red: Sorry boss, we thought you should know.
Jason: How does knowing help me? STOP THAT MOTHER FUCKER NOW!!!
Red: Yes, sir.
Jason: Tell Mike I’ll be in touch when I can.
Red: Yes, sir.
Then he switched his phone to silent and carried it back into her room. He took one longing look at the bed and wished like hell he could just lie down and pull her into his arms. Instead, he turned to sit in the chair. He felt at ease just being in the same room as her. Something within him calmed at the sight of her. His anger and frustrations towards Devon were still there, but he f
elt better knowing he could see her and that she was safe.
*****
Christy woke with a jolt. It was early, maybe a little too early, and her head hurt like crazy. In fact, everything about her hurt. She felt like an emotional truck had hit her. Then it all started coming back. Last night, Jason. Oh god, she told him everything! Filled with embarrassment and regret, she rolled over and gasped. He was there! In her room. What was he doing and damn, how did he look so good? He had removed his coat and unbuttoned his shirt even more than normal. His socks and shoes were gone. He just sat there, sound asleep in her chair. He had to be uncomfortable; she realized he was snoring loudly. The worst part was the position he was in. He barely fit in the chair he was sleeping in, so she was certain he would be sore when he woke up.
Christy remembered their conversation on the couch, but little else. She must have fallen asleep soon after. Which meant he touched her, not only did he touch her, he carried her into her bedroom. Looking down, it relieved her to see she still had all her clothes on. She needed to get up and get him moved into the bed. Looking at the clock, she could see it was still early. He was a late sleeper; she remembered that much from when they were younger. She would wake him just enough to get him to move to the bed, and then she could leave him sleeping while she got on with her day. When this was over, they would have a serious conversation about boundaries. She stood and approached him.
“Jason… Jason… come lay down.” He barely flinched. She tried again to nudging his shoulder.
“Huh?”
“Come, lay down for a couple hours, you can’t be comfortable.”
Grunting, he stood and shuffled the few steps to the bed. She got out of his way as quick as possible and watched him fall to a face-down position, snoring as soon as his head hit the pillow. Lord, she didn’t miss that noise! Who snores laying on their stomach? Maybe she should have just left him in the chair, she thought.