When Ashes Fall

by Marni Mann

  Even after the two of us quieted and stilled, I stayed buried in her pussy.

  Her forehead rested against mine.

  We said nothing.

  We just breathed.

  Our hot skin kissing.

  Her hands clutching my shoulders.

  In this moment, words were meaningless.

  So, I tucked my face into her neck, and I hugged her. I was holding her with every part of me, every piece of my flesh that could reach her.

  And I didn’t let go.

  Not even when she fell asleep.

  Thirty-Nine

  Dylan

  One Year and Eleven Months Ago

  We’d already been in Maine for two nights.

  The difference between this trip and the other ones we’d recently taken up here was, I hadn’t called any of our local friends to schedule dinners with for when we were in town. For the five days we were here, I didn’t want an itinerary. I had enough of that in the city.

  I wanted Alix all to myself.

  And that was exactly what I’d gotten so far.

  We ate, we fucked, and we slept.

  It couldn’t be more perfect.

  But I could tell Alix was getting restless. She wanted to be outside. She needed to feel Maine, not just be inside of it.

  Since the snow had melted, we could go hiking.

  We hadn’t been to the top of Cadillac Mountain in months.

  It was time.

  The morning of our third day, I woke her at a little past three and asked her if she was feeling up to going hiking. She smiled so fucking big despite how early it was. And I saw the excitement on her face as she crawled out of bed. It only took her a few minutes to brush her teeth and get dressed.

  It took me a little longer.

  I had to make sure I had everything I needed.

  With us being out of practice, our climb wasn’t as polished as usual, and we reached the summit with only a few seconds to spare.

  I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her against me as we sat on a rock on the east side, facing Schoodic Peninsula, and we watched the sun break above the water.

  She didn’t take her eyes off the horizon.

  Mine didn’t leave her.

  “I love you,” I said in her ear.

  She nuzzled her cheek into my arm. “I love you, too.”

  For a long time, I’d known this woman was going to be my wife. I’d known I wanted to spend forever with her. That I wanted her to have my children.

  Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but we were strong.

  Alix had accepted I would never be able to give her all of me while I was still working. Business would always hold the biggest stake in my life.

  We could withstand that obstacle.

  Along with the amount of time I would continue to spend at the office and the trips I made to the West Coast and the international ones that would be coming up as I opened an office in Europe.

  And I had accepted that Alix would continue working as a paramedic until she got pregnant. She wasn’t happy about the deal, so I suggested she become a dispatcher in the call center, work in an office, anything. I just didn’t want my wife on the road where she could get harmed.

  My wife.

  That was a term I hadn’t even considered before her.

  But, in many ways, it was as though we were already married, living together, sharing a mortgage on our house here in Maine. She was the only person in this world who knew everything about me.

  More than my parents and even my friends.

  Alix couldn’t say she didn’t know the man she was marrying.

  There weren’t any secrets between us.

  Well, except for one.

  That was only because she didn’t know about the ring I was holding in my hand, that I’d taken out of my pocket when we reached the top of the mountain.

  I slid off the rock we were sitting on and moved in front of her, holding her hand, getting her onto her feet. While still clasping her fingers, I took a step back and got on one knee.

  Her eyes widened as I gazed up at her. Her fingers squeezed my hand.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  She probably thought I hadn’t heard her.

  But I had. I saw the wonder in her eyes, and it matched the shock in her voice.

  She was surprised, just the way I’d wanted her to be.

  “Alix, I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you in the restaurant. When your bodyguard tried to stop me from writing my number on your hand.”

  Tears came into her eyes as she giggled from the memory.

  “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my partner in every decision I have to make. I want you to promise me you’ll be with me forever.”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her bottom lip was quivering.

  “What I’m going to promise you is, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll always take care of you and keep you safe. And I’ll give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” I kissed the top of her hand and opened my fist, holding the ring against the tip of her finger. “I promise you forever.”

  “Dylan …” she whispered, licking a tear off her lip.

  I looked at the etched band and how each groove captured the light and then to the diamond and how the orange and pink from the sky was reflecting over it.

  Finally, my stare moved to hers. “Will you be my wife?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

  I slid the ring onto her finger, and then I stood, pulling her into my arms. Her cheek pressed against my chest, and I held her face, so she couldn’t move.

  “I’m going to be your wife,” she whispered into my jacket.

  I released the back of her head and waited for her to look at me. Her expression caused me to smile. “Isn’t that what you want?”

  Her grin widened. “More than anything in this world.”

  Forty

  Alix

  Present Day

  “Good morning, baby.”

  My eyes flicked open.

  I didn’t move.

  I didn’t make a noise.

  I just looked across the bed, the same way I did every morning.

  I checked the pillow first.

  Smith’s head was resting on it, and the comforter wasn’t any higher than his waist.

  It had been his voice that had woken me.

  Not Dylan’s.

  Last night was suddenly all coming back to me.

  The sex.

  The way I had fallen asleep in Smith’s arms.

  It explained why I was naked.

  Why I felt sore.

  Why I hadn’t slept alone.

  Smith wouldn’t leave me.

  All Dylan did was leave.

  But Dylan hadn’t had the opportunity to do that last night because I was here.

  At Smith’s.

  And this was a moment.

  One of the biggest ones yet.

  There had been so many recently; it felt like all I’d been doing was celebrating.

  “Alix …”

  Smith was trying to get me to look at him.

  I hadn’t made eye contact with him since I woke up.

  I wasn’t ready.

  I didn’t know how it would make me react.

  But I couldn’t keep avoiding it, especially since I’d been staring at his chest for what felt like a really long time.

  I slowly lifted my stare.

  And then our eyes connected.

  The deepest green gazed back at me.

  I wasn’t sure I had even noticed his eye color before.

  Now, it was all I saw.

  It was so different than Dylan’s blue.

  So was his facial hair.

  Dylan shaved every morning.

  Smith had at least four days of scruff.

  Dylan’s hair was perfect when he got up.

  Smith’s was ruffled in a way that looked like fingers had been pulling it.

  I guessed they had.<
br />
  Oh God.

  “Good morning,” I replied, bringing the blanket up to my chin.

  He was on his side, facing me.

  Watching.

  “You’re not a morning person, are you?”

  I thought about his question.

  I actually considered myself as one.

  But I certainly wasn’t right now.

  “Morning-ish,” I said from behind the blanket.

  “Does that mean you need coffee first?”

  I had no idea what that meant.

  But I knew I needed more than two seconds to process everything that was happening right now, and I was positive I couldn’t do that with him in this bed.

  “Coffee,” I said, nodding.

  His hand dipped beneath the covers.

  His fingertips were on my leg.

  Hip.

  The center of my navel, brushing across my belly button.

  It felt so good.

  So did being here.

  I was just waiting for the guilt to come, for it to slap me in the face, for it to cause my stomach to churn.

  Because, once I really processed what I had done last night, it was going to fucking wreck me.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  Smith’s voice was so tender.

  So was his touch, which was now back on my hip.

  Once the guilt choked me, I would have a hard time keeping food down.

  But one thing always stayed.

  “I’ll take the chocolate cake.”

  He laughed, showing me a smile that was overwhelmingly beautiful.

  Like a sunny day.

  “Just coffee and cake? Nothing else?”

  “Nope.”

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the center of my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

  His cologne from yesterday still clung to his skin, giving me the warmest scent.

  Warmth was what I’d felt the second his lips touched me.

  Warmth was something I’d never had before.

  Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without it.

  “Thank you,” I whispered as he pulled away and climbed out of bed.

  My eyes followed him to the closet, staring at the muscles in his thighs and the ones etched into his abs and arms.

  His body was incredible.

  And so was his dick.

  As he walked out of the room, I couldn’t stop replaying all the different ways he had pleasured me last night.

  Even when Smith had pounded me with such an intense amount of strength, he had still been so gentle.

  He was the opposite of Dylan.

  I glanced at Smith’s side of the bed.

  I loved his dented pillow and how messy he’d left the blanket.

  The only reason I looked away from it was because I heard his feet on the floor.

  I sat up and brought the blanket with me, slipping my arms out, so I could grab the coffee and cake he handed to me.

  As he climbed back into bed, I put a bite into my mouth and chewed. “Oh my God,” I groaned. It was layered, just like the strawberry, and the cake was spongy with the richest flavor. “Tell me where you got this.”

  He pushed his back into the headboard and held his coffee mug against the mattress. Since he’d only put on a pair of sweatpants, I once again had a close-up of his chest.

  There was a sexy patch of thin, dark hair that covered the top of it.

  Thick veins ran down his arms.

  One of my favorite things was the small crinkles just to the sides of his eyes. They deepened when he smiled. He did so much of that when he was with me.

  But he wasn’t doing it now or when he said, “Roxbury.”

  I brought a clump of frosting up to my lips. “This could become my new go-to.”

  “I’ll get you more the next time I’m there.”

  I glanced to my right, seeing him hold the glass to his lips. “Will you bring me?”

  We’d had this conversation before.

  He’d ignored me when I told him I wanted him to take me.

  “Or I’ll go without you,” I added. “Just tell me the name of the bakery.”

  His brows pushed together. “You’re not going there without me.”

  “Then, come.”

  He said nothing.

  He didn’t even take another sip of his coffee.

  He just shut down.

  That was the first time he’d done that in front of me.

  “Smith, why don’t you want me to go there?”

  When he looked at me again, I saw something achingly familiar.

  He had pain in his eyes that was identical to mine.

  His fingers slid through his hair, and he tugged on the strands. “I’m protective of where I come from.” He sighed. “I just don’t want to hear the comments, and I don’t want to be asked any questions.”

  “You think that’s what I’d do?”

  He was now holding the top of his head, and I could see the stress on his face. “What happened there didn’t stay there, Alix. It haunts me every fucking day.”

  “I know what it’s like to have nightmares. I have one every time it rains.” I glared at the cake, unable to take another bite. “I know how scary it is. I know how you don’t want to open your eyes. I know how helpless you feel. And I know what that dark pit of misery looks like and how tightly it can wrap its hands around your throat.”

  He was quiet again, looking toward the end of the bed.

  He didn’t move.

  Until he finally glanced at me. “You’re asking to see my storm.”

  I hadn’t thought of it that way.

  Or what that required of him.

  And what that meant about us.

  “Yes,” I said so softly.

  “I’ve never brought anyone there.”

  “Bring me.”

  I wasn’t pleading.

  I was making him a promise.

  “Why do you want to go there, Alix?”

  The bakery was an easy answer.

  But it wasn’t the real reason.

  “I want you to show me that part of you,” I answered. I moved the cake to the nightstand and rolled onto my side, so I could face him. “I really like you, Smith.”

  And I liked the way he treated me.

  How he looked at me.

  The way he cared for me.

  “You want us?” he asked.

  I could feel myself fitting in here.

  In his life.

  In his arms.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  He reached over and brushed a piece of hair off my face. “I’m going to take you to Roxbury.” Then, his hand cupped my cheek. “I hope, one day, you’ll show me your storm.”

  My heart began to throb in my chest.

  My throat ached.

  The guilt I’d expected to feel was for betraying Dylan by sleeping with Smith last night.

  But what was gutting me was, I couldn’t give Smith what he was asking for, so I looked away, unable to gaze into his eyes anymore.

  He rolled onto his side and moved closer, pulling me into his arms. “I’ll never push you.” I relaxed a little as he hugged me against his body, rubbing his hands over my back. “Do you have to work tonight?”

  “No.”

  “I might not let you go home.”

  Two nights away from Dylan.

  I hated that I missed him.

  Forty-One

  Smith

  Present Day

  I pulled up outside the police headquarters and parked along the curb. Since Alix had told me I wasn’t able to go into her department, that having me in there would be violating HIPAA laws, I stayed in my car. Being that I was a few minutes early, I had time to take out my phone and go through some of my work emails.

  I came across one from my assistant with the subject line: Lake Tahoe.

  The room you asked me to look into is available for the dates you requested. I’ve attached the estimated cost.

/>   The flight information for the same dates is below.

  Let me know if you would like me to book them.

  I clicked on the file she’d attached and checked out the breakdown of the room. The hotel was at the base of the mountain, and the view was supposed to be incredible.

  I was downloading some of the pictures the hotel had provided when Alix got into the car.

  “Hi,” she said just as I put my phone away.

  She had on tight jeans and a hat, her hair in a braid that had fallen into the front of her tank top.

  And that smile I loved was shining so fucking bright.

  “You look gorgeous,” I told her.

  When she leaned toward me to give me a kiss, I inhaled the spiciness of her cinnamon scent. It made me so hard; I growled as I took her mouth against mine, holding her face for a few extra seconds.

  As I released her, I asked, “Do you need to stop somewhere, or are we going straight to the restaurant?”

  “We can head straight there.” She took out her phone and looked at the screen. “Rose has already arrived. She texted me a few minutes ago.”

  I pulled onto the road and turned at the light, driving toward Copley.

  This was the first time I would be meeting her best friend, and Alix had given me a warning this morning. She’d said Rose was protective and unfiltered.

  She was Boston.

  I knew that personality well.

  And she was exactly who I would want Alix to be best friends with.

  Handling her wouldn’t be a problem.

  When I got to the light, I put my hand on Alix’s thigh and glanced at her. “I have something I want to talk to you about.”

  She looked nervous. “Okay.”

  I tightened my grip. “Is going to Lake Tahoe something you really want to do?”

  “Yes,” she answered immediately, and I saw the relief in her face. She had obviously thought I was going to bring up something else. “It’s a place I’d love to see with you.” Her hand went on top of mine, and she traced her nails up and down my fingers.

  “I had my assistant look into some dates. I didn’t know your schedule, so we can move things around if we need to. I just wanted to get a plan in place.”