Destino
The moment the door closes, Alex and I lock eyes until I give him a small nod, accepting that he’s allowed to be here. To be sure, I hate that Alex is in the room, not because I want him out of the picture, but because now Lily’s even more anxious. I want to leave the two of them so they can duke it out, but no way am I letting her out of my sight so soon after she was attacked, especially not with her assailant still looming about out there. And Alex hasn’t exactly earned the right to look after her while she’s vulnerable.
“I hate that it was Vera,” I confess. I’m not certain which one of them I’m talking to. I’m not sure it matters. “I always thought her jokes about me being rubbish were funny. I mean, I guess I knew they weren’t always jokes, but maybe that’s what I told myself they were. I can’t believe she attacked her own boys. She practically raised them.”
Lily leans forward, cradling her head in her hands while she rests her elbows on her knees. “This is just the start. This is what uniting the territories is going to bring out. We might think we’re doing the right thing, but Justice got hurt because of our plan.” She looks defeated, which is a hefty shift from the fight I witnessed in her eyes moments ago. “A lot more people are going to splinter apart before they come together. The peace we’re working toward? We might not see it in our lifetimes.” Her eyes flick to me. “Well, you will.”
Everything in me tightens. I try not to think about things like that, about a future without the guys, without Lily. The hazards of being immortal are that you end up saying goodbye to people you don’t have the strength to leave. “Don’t talk like that. I’m not ready for it.”
“Like what?”
The other vampires don’t have the same dread because they don’t care about people outside our race. They don’t understand how painful it is to love as I do.
Alex jumps in and saves me from having to spell out the thing we never discuss. “We don’t talk about the fact that we’ll all age and die but Des won’t. It scares him. Without us, he’ll have Ronin and that’s all. He’ll have the people and duty, but no laughter.”
Any traces of hardness on her features melts as her gaze lands on me. I stare up at the ceiling, not willing to be part of this conversation. I like my denial. It serves me well. Denial will be my very best friend and stay with me long after they’ve all…
“Des without laughter? I cannot picture it,” she muses. When she stands on wobbly legs to cross the room in my direction, I open my mouth to scold her, to tell her to sit back down.
Two steps in, her knees go out. I move to catch her, but Alex is closer, and manages to get his arms around our wife before her knees slam into the stone. “Taking up running, are you?” he teases.
It’s too soon for jokes, and I wince at her glare once her eyes stop swimming from the sudden motion. “Do not catch me when I fall,” she snaps. There’s pure venom in her tone, and I won’t rob her of it.
Alex swallows his smile and helps her to the bed. “You’re right to be mad at me.” His hands find their way into his pockets again as he leans against the wall beside my bed. His body language says he’s at ease, but I see the tightness in his arms and shoulders. I note the bags under his eyes. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I shouldn’t have left at all.”
“But you did, so go. Your father’s back in Faveda. That’s where you belong. Des can make sure I don’t trip over my own two feet.”
“You’re my wife,” Alex says, but the words that sound like a plea on his lips hit the air and turn hollow by the time they reach Lily.
Her eyes pierce him through, and when she responds, she chooses her words slowly. “I’m your nothing. I’d just been attacked by a monster, and then my own father. Salem and I barely survived the Stone Graveyard. Des was inches from death, and you were worried about details. So go back to your father and fuss about the details.”
Alex is quiet for a beat, letting her anger sizzle between them. “I was upset. You lied to me, Lily-girl. You told me you couldn’t perform magic at all. Imagine my surprise when you’re the most gifted poison-maker I’ve ever come across. On top of which, you murdered a whole slew of children and got away with it.”
Brilliant apology, dumbass.
“Lilya,” she corrects him, her hand on her forehead. “And if you think I got away with anything, you haven’t been paying attention. Maybe the label didn’t get slapped on me, but I got a death sentence from my own father. When I managed my way out of that, I got a life sentence in Neutral Territory—something not even adult mass-murders are treated to because the fae think that’s too cruel. Tell me how I didn’t pay for my crimes! Tell me now that I got off easy.”
I can’t listen to her talk like this about herself. “It was a mistake, Lily! If this was any other child, you wouldn’t call them a murderer. You would call them a child who needs help. You were eight years old when you accidentally poisoned your classmates!” I turn to Alex. “And if you think a person is going to be forthcoming about her mistakes when they were punished harsher than an adult would be as an eight-year old, you are more privileged and spoiled than anyone I know. You’re the first fae she’d seen in over a decade! Do you think she’s going to risk telling you the thing her own father tried to have her killed for? You get loads of chances in life because of who your parents are and what your title is. She made one mistake. One.” I shake my head at him. “And then she made a second mistake by not telling you about it, and you did the same thing her father did when she stepped out of line. You cut her out and threw her away.”
“Take that back.” Alex seethes, his hands coming out of his pockets to ball into fists. “I’m nothing like General Klein.”
I should keep my mouth shut and let them duke it out, but it feels too good to tell the truth. I can’t reel myself back now. “Go back to your family, General Alexavier. Leave your wife to me.”
Yeah, that was one too far. I don’t even brace myself when Alex lunges at me and knocks me backwards. Neither of us really wants to hurt each other, so we end up in a series of pins, holds and escapes, pins, holds and escapes. My right arm isn’t exactly one-hundred-percent, but it moves enough so I get in a few licks. We don’t stop for Lily’s cries of frustration. I’m livid with him for leaving Lily. For leaving me when I was barely alive. For leaving Salem to look after her without backup while he muddled through the new world of being mated. My right arm is frustrating me, so I use my left to punch his kidney.
It’s not until a firm hand grips my ear and tugs that I give up on our fight. Our breaths come out in pants and murmured threats as none other than Ronin intervenes. “I thought you were downstairs with the others.” I shake him off me and rub my smarting ear.
“There’s nothing to be decided upon until Justice awakes. I knew the truth wouldn’t come to me directly, so I’ve been waiting in the hallway so I could have myself a little listen,” Ronin admits, locking eyes with Lily. “It was going to take you years to tell me your secret, so I cheated and found a simpler way. Be as livid as you like, only know that you don’t have to hide from me anymore.”
Her cheeks are pink as she splutters. “You… That’s not… You misunderstood everything you think you heard!”
Ronin chuckles as he releases Alex with a shove toward the opposite wall. “I’m sure I did. I’m also sure I understand enough now to know I don’t care. If anything, you’re more my daughter than ever before. No doubt your birth father didn’t like that he saw himself in you, what with how bloody his hands are. But I rather like the sight of myself in you. There will be no more hiding.” Then he turns to me. “And what’s this about you almost dying?”
Alex brushes the floor dirt off his clothes, and I almost smile because he looks more like himself this way, stained and scowling, blond hair askew. He points his finger at Lily. “I’m drawing you a bath because you’re covered in dried blood and dirt. I screwed up, sure, but despite how long you want to send me to the doghouse, I’m not leaving your side again
. We’ll work this out. I don’t care how long it takes.”
She turns up her nose at him. “There’s nothing to work out. I can’t undo what I did. I can’t apologize for the rest of my life to someone who has no clue what I’ve been through.”
Alex’s voice rises and he starts talking with his hands. “I can’t discuss this with you when you look as if you’ve been freshly killed! Maybe I was upset before, but whatever reasons I thought were important enough to leave you over seemed stupid the moment I reached my palace without you. You are my home, the three of you.” His eyes flick to Ronin. “Not you, obviously. Salem. Des can wrestle me to the ground to keep me in line, Salem can punch me, and Lily, you can push me away, but I’m still here.” He points to the floor between them. “You screwed up by not telling me the truth before we married. Spin it however you want but we know each other. I deserve all the information when I’m signing a legally-binding document. But I screwed up by leaving instead of staying by your side and battling this out. I shouldn’t have left you. You fight for what matters, and I didn’t fight for you. For that, I’m truly sorry.”
Alex’s voice breaks on the last sentence. His eyes mist over, so I go still, unsure what to make of the tenor in the room.
Lily’s anger cracks, and finally she lets him peek into her heartbreak. “You were taken from me when we were kids. I didn’t think anything could feel worse than that. But when you left on your own, after knowing my most terrible parts, that was worse. That’s the gut-punch I can’t come back from.”
“I shouldn’t have left you,” Alex says again, his eyes pleading with her to understand.
“You don’t know a thing about survival! You don’t know what it is to be the only fae around for years! You threw me away because I wasn’t shiny enough. You’re just like every other fae!”
“I shouldn’t have left you.” Then Alex turns on his heels and moves into the washroom. I hear water splashing in the tub and fight the urge to go comfort Lily. She doesn’t need to come down from her anger. She doesn’t need me to mold her fury into a peaceful ending. Alex deserves every ounce of it aimed straight at his chest.
We haven’t bathed in over a week. None of us. The shifters don’t have water to spare for vanity or hygiene.
There’s silence for too many minutes. Ronin starts to speak, but Lily holds up her hand with a firm, “Don’t,” so he backs down.
When Alex comes out of the washroom, his chin is lowered like an animal who knows he’s done wrong. “Your bath is ready. I would help you, but I’m guessing you don’t want that.”
“You belong where you put yourself, which is with your father, not with me. You’re welcome to help him in the bath as much as you’d like.”
Alex meets my eyes with agony shining through. “You’ll need to help her, Des. She still can’t walk without falling. It won’t do us any good if she drowns in two feet of water.”
As angry as I want to be, I know his punishment right now is worse than anything I could dole out. Being separated from the woman your insides are screaming to be near is excruciating.
I cross the room and gather him up in a hug meant to hold us together, even when we’ve been torn apart by too much life. He slumps in my arms so much that his head rests on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Brother. I left you when you were barely alive. Lily gave you back to us, and I…”
“I know. You were bloody stupid, but I love you anyway.”
He manages a chuckle through what I’m certain are the beginnings of tears forming. “I love you, Des.”
I slap him twice on the back. “I’ll watch her. Why don’t you see what help Salem needs?”
Alex pulls away with a nod and opens the door for Ronin, who’s also being shooed out.
The moment they’re gone, I close my eyes and lean against the door, grateful for the quiet that falls around us like promises of peace. When I open my eyes a few beats later, Lily’s staring at me. “I’m glad it’s you,” she says simply. “That’s it’s just you. No one else.”
I know exactly how she feels. “You’re the only person I want to see right now, too. It’s been a long one, yeah?”
Her chest expands and contracts violently just once, but it’s enough to let me know she’s on the brink of breaking down.
Finally.
My alone time with Lily seems to always come in the middle of too much turmoil for either of us to actually enjoy the moment. But now, as she takes my hand and I lead her into the bathroom, she lets me undress her with slow fingers and gentle kisses meant to heal the broken parts of us both. When the last of Lily’s clothes fall to the floor, the sight of her standing before me forces the rest of the world’s troubles to fade into the background.
She’s not embarrassed. She’s not terribly unsteady as she leans against the door.
She’s mine. Entirely and completely mine, if only for this moment.
I can’t not kiss her. I know she’s concussed. I know I’ve barely got partial use of my right arm back. I know all the reasons we should wait yet again for the thing I crave above all else. When my lips find hers, my left arm acquaints itself with the slope of her side. My fingers trill over her hip, teasing the chilled skin that warms for me.
“Des, is it wrong to want you right now? I know things are all messed up out there, but in here, I just want…”
“Then you shall have me, any way you like. Whatever pleases my queen.” I love the way she blushes whenever anyone reminds her of her future title. I get to enjoy the full scope of her skin as it colors and fades in places that are entirely new to me. It’s not enough to admire them; I need to touch each inch that calls out to me. I’ve never seen a naked fae woman before, and I’m completely mesmerized. “Which parts of you are hurt from the attack?” I ask quietly between kisses. If we’re going to do this, I don’t want to injure her further.
“My head and my ribs on this side,” she admits. “But this is what I want. Please, Des. We’ve been married for months. I don’t think I can wait another second for the honeymoon. There’s too much going on outside that door. Make me forget. Make me forget it all.”
It’s a true effort not to hurriedly rip my clothes off, but take my time seducing her, kissing every inch she offers me until her knees begin to quake. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” I kiss her over and over, capturing each gasp between my teeth as my hands do as she pleases, roaming where she needs.
Finally, my clothes join hers. The second I carry her to the water and lower us in, there’s only her, me, and the sultry sounds the water makes as it laps against our bare skin while we make good use of our privacy.
20
First Husband, and Second
Lilya
I love everything about Des, down to the way he dries me off from head to toe when we’re finally clean. I still have to lean on him, but my dizzy moments are growing fewer and farther between. We don’t bother with clothes for the longest time, making this the best part of my stay in Jacoba, for certain. Des’ hands on me tease and stroke, making my breath catch over and over again. The wall is like ice against my spine when he presses my shoulders against it. He makes sure my arm is always looped around his neck, holding him close so every part of us is touching. When my knees start to give out, he holds me in place, kissing me slower now, with his hand kneading my butt to keep me from falling.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks, his eyes skimming down over my form.
“Only a little,” I admit. “I’m glad it was you.”
“I’m your first husband, after all. And you’ll always be my only wife.”
I kiss him because his lips are addictive. Everything about Des makes me crave him all over again. Though I’m still a little sore, every part of me is ready for more.
“Tell me this is the best you’ve ever had,” Des breathes.
“You’re the only I’ve ever had, so it’s not a totally fair statement.”
He sniggers airily as he kisses me. “I know I won’t always be your only, b
ut for now, I’m on cloud nine.”
My heart sinks and our kisses slow. “You will be. Salem has a girlfriend. I can’t do this with him when there’s someone else out there he already belongs to. I don’t care if we’re mated. It’s wrong to do that to another woman. And Alexavier will leave again. It’s just you and me.”
Des shakes his head, thumbing the swell of my breast just to watch me arch for him. “As much as part of me would love nothing more than exactly that, it’s not going to settle that way. I told you, I would know if Salem had a girlfriend. He doesn’t. And eventually, you and Alex will find a path through this. You love him. You love all three of us deviants.”
I tell Des the truth because he’s the only one I trust with all of it. “I do. I love all three of you so badly, it hurts. I don’t want to feel this much. It’s hard to be separate from them.”
Des is a good sport. He kisses my nose and gives me the best smile I’ve seen all night. “Then let’s go see what they’re up to.” At my protest, Des shakes his head. “Like it or not, we have to go to this meeting. The powers that be and the powers that will be need to find a way to work together. Let’s go get dressed, and we’ll talk to Salem about this other woman. You’ll see it’s no one. She doesn’t exist. Straighten it all out before the meeting, so you’ve got a clear head.”
“I can’t imagine any woman having a clear head when a naked vampire prince is kissing her.”
The corner of his mouth drags upward. “Then I should probably put some clothes on.” He pauses before letting go of me, his roguish grin doing crazy things to every inch of me that’s pressed up against him. “Tell me I’m your king.”
I kiss him because I can. Because it’s good. Because he’s mine. “You’re my king. Tell me I’m your lily.”
“My very own flower with a crown.” His tongue flicks my earlobe before he reaches around and opens the door, letting us into the bedroom.
Malicious Prince: A Reverse Harem Romance (Territorial Mates Book 3) Page 12