Whispers Under Ground

by Ben Aaronovitch

  Don’t they know there’s an E. coli scare on, I thought.

  Then I carefully put my tray down, turned and hared out of the canteen and back up to the outside inquiry office taking the steps three at a time.

  Apparently I never did pay for the drinks.

  ‘We’ve got to go down the tunnels now,’ I said. ‘Before Kevin fucking Nolan manages to kill the lot of them.’

  25

  Ladbroke Grove

  Watching Seawoll in motion was always an education in of itself. Despite the 1970s shouty guv’nor, pickaxe handle, drink you under the table, fuck me, fuck you, old-fashioned copper facade he was, bureaucratically speaking, very light on his feet.

  We were going to go in with CO19, the armed wing of the Metropolitan Police, as backup. I know that Nightingale would have preferred to use Caffrey and his merry band of ex-paratroopers, but this was still a Murder Team investigation and Seawoll had old-fashioned views about extra-legal, paramilitary death-squads. Besides, he’d managed to prise a detachment loose by implying that there might be a smidgen of terrorism involved. The drawback to this being that DS Kittredge had to be notified, him being CTC’s officer on the spot.

  We all assembled on the west side of Westbourne Park Road which Zach said was the closest sewer access. It was dark and the last dirty remnants of the snow crunched under the weight of our size eleven boots as we decanted from the vehicles.

  ‘Shit,’ said Stephanopoulos as she skidded on a patch of ice. Seawoll caught her elbow and steadied her. ‘Good thing I didn’t wear the high heels,’ she said.

  ‘Are you coming down with us, sir?’ I asked Seawoll.

  ‘Don’t be stupid,’ said Seawoll. ‘I’m far too fucking senior to go down there. It’s strictly constables, sergeants and lunatics. We’ll keep the kettle on for you.’

  Nightingale was standing under a lamppost in a long oyster-white Burberry coat that made him look like something from an old film. All he was missing was a cigarette, a hat and a doomed love affair with a suburban housewife. Lesley stayed in the Sprinter van where she could keep an eye on Zach and avail herself of the coffee thermos and the emergency packets of Hula Hoops. I didn’t have the same luxury on account of this all being my idea in the first place.

  We were joined by Kittredge, who turned out to be a tall thin man in a navy blue three-piece suit with a sour expression – although that might just have been a reaction to being out on Christmas Eve. He actually had a sprig of mistletoe in his buttonhole and I had sudden wistful thoughts of Dr Walid six hundred kilometres north in what I imagined to be the squat granite cottage of his ancestors, sitting in front of a roaring fire and toasting his family with a wee theologically unsound dram of the good stuff.

  Kittredge frowned at me and turned to Nightingale. ‘We have a problem,’ he said.

  ‘The American?’ asked Nightingale.

  ‘She’s seen too much,’ he said.

  ‘Then you know she must be taken care of,’ said Seawoll.

  ‘Funny,’ said Kittredge.

  ‘Who cares what the Yanks know?’ asked Seawoll. ‘They’re not going to give a fuck about all this voodoo shit. Why should they?’

  ‘That’s not how it was explained to me,’ said Kittredge. ‘There are some things we’re supposed to keep in the family.’

  ‘Then I suggest we take our young American friend with us,’ said Nightingale.

  ‘Are you mad?’ asked Kittredge. ‘God knows what the FBI’s going to make of it all. Hasn’t she seen too much all ready?’

  ‘On the contrary,’ said Nightingale. ‘I don’t think she’s seen enough. Where is she now?’

  Kittredge gestured up the street. ‘Round the corner,’ he said. ‘Sitting in a red Skoda Fabia that she borrowed off the second trade attaché’s wife’s nanny.’

  ‘You’re sure about that, sir?’ I asked Kittredge.

  ‘I’ve had a whole team watching over her since they dug you out of the ground,’ he said.

  ‘Touch of the stable door,’ said Nightingale.

  ‘Don’t you start,’ said Kittredge. ‘This was all routine until you were involved.’

  ‘I’ve been keeping secrets since before you were born,’ said Nightingale. ‘You’ll just have to trust me on this. Besides, the young lady is exceedingly clever. So it’s nothing she won’t be able to work out for herself.’

  ‘But at least she wouldn’t be an eyewitness,’ said Kittredge.

  ‘Fortunately,’ said Nightingale. ‘Seeing isn’t always believing.’ He turned to me. ‘Why don’t you go over and extend her an invitation?’ he said.

  I turned and strolled up the road humming the happy tune of the subordinate who knows that whatever shit hits the fan it wouldn’t be him who’d be blamed for turning the bloody thing on.

  It’d have been nice to sneak up on Reynolds and give her a shock, but a good rule of thumb is to never startle someone who might be equipped with a loaded firearm. Instead I approached from the front and gave her a wave. The annoyed look on her face – she obviously thought she’d ditched her surveillance – was rewarding enough.

  ‘Got your sewer gear?’ I asked as she climbed out the car.

  ‘In the trunk,’ she said. ‘Are we going down again?’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ I said.

  ‘Give me five minutes to get ready.’

  It might have taken Reynolds five minutes but it took the rest of us about an hour, what with the milling around, strapping stuff on and testing the equipment. This time we’d borrowed the appropriate waist-high orange waders from a surly man from Thames Water. The CO19 boys insisted on retaining their dark blue ballistic vests and helmets as well, which gave them the unfortunate appearance of modern ninjas who’d given up on the whole stealth thing below the waist level. I was wearing a brand-new Metvest but with a high-visibility jacket over the top. I planned to avoid getting shot, through the deployment of peaceful diplomacy and, if that failed, by making sure I stayed back behind the guys with guns. Zach said we’d be better off without the guns, but that’s the thing about armed police. When you need them you generally don’t want to be hanging around waiting for them to arrive.

  It was a good plan and like all plans since the dawn of time, this would fail to survive contact with real life.

  When we were ready, Seawoll gave us a farewell admonition not to fuck things up any worse than they were already. Then he, Stephanopoulos and Kittredge skived off to a nearby pub to set up a ‘command centre’.

  The surly man from Thames Water popped the manhole cover and bid us to help ourselves.

  Nightingale went down first, then the officers from CO19. I followed them down with Zach behind me while Lesley and Reynolds brought up the rear. I recognised where we were the moment I got off the ladder. It was the same intersection we’d reached before an unknown assailant with a Sten gun had driven us over the duckboard and tumbling down the weir, and on our way to Olympia and Chelsea’s underground rave. Then it had been a raging torrent. This time it was merely damp and surprisingly fragrant, at least by the standards of London sewers.

  Kumar was waiting for us.

  ‘You just couldn’t stay away,’ I said.

  ‘It’s warmer down here,’ he said. ‘I’m surprised you came down at all.’

  So was I, to be honest, I hadn’t wanted to go down the manhole, but once I’d made myself do it I was all right. It helped that I was surrounded by people I trusted. As Conan the Barbarian famously said, That which does not kill us does not kill us.

  ‘Where to now?’ I asked Zach.

  He gestured down towards what I now knew was the North Kensington Relief sewer, far too low-ceilinged to walk along upright. The CO19 guys, who were understandably thrilled to be heading down a long straight pipe, wanted to wait until they’d fetched up a set of ballistic shields. But Nightingale waved them back.

  ‘We’ll do a recce first,’ he said and gestured me and Zach to go with him. The CO19 officers gave us pitying looks as we f
ollowed Nightingale into the tunnel. Now, I have allergic reaction to getting out in front of armed officers, but Zach didn’t seem bothered. Either he wasn’t expecting trouble or he had more faith in Nightingale than I did.

  We made our way down the tunnel for about twenty metres when Zach told us to stop.

  ‘We’ve gone past it,’ he said. ‘Sorry.’

  We backed up two metres while Zach banged his fist at regular intervals on the left side of the tunnel. He stopped suddenly and banged the same spot a few times.

  ‘This feels like it,’ he said.

  I put my hand on the wall where he’d smacked it. There was definitely something like a flash of an open oven and that hint of the pigsty – although given that we were in a sewer that might have been from elsewhere.

  Nightingale put his hand next to mine.

  ‘Extraordinary,’ he said. ‘How do we get in?’

  ‘Like so,’ said Zach and, turning, put his back against the wall. Then, bracing one foot on the opposite wall, he pushed backwards, forcing a section of the wall to retreat into a recess. The walls were smooth and coated with the same ceramic finish I recognised from the fruit bowl. There was a dull click and the section behind Zach locked into place.

  ‘Not bad huh?’ he said and pointed upwards. Above him was an open hatch into darkness. ‘It’s like a fire door so it closes automatically. Someone needs to hold it open while I climb up.’

  Nightingale lifted his hand and made a small gesture and the movable bit of wall shifted slightly and clicked. Zach gingerly shifted his shoulders.

  ‘Or you could do that,’ he said.

  Nightingale called along the drain for the rest of the party to come up, leaving two of the CO19 officers to guard the junction and two more to man the tunnel. Then he swarmed up through the hatch and, turning, reached down to help me up behind him.

  I had a look around while Zach and Lesley followed us up. We were in a space with the mean dimensions of a living room in a council flat, although the ceiling was low even by those standards. Low enough for me to scrape my helmet if I didn’t watch it.

  ‘Watch your head, darling,’ Zach told Lesley as she came up.

  At first I thought the walls were panelled with dark wood in the Victorian fashion, but I quickly realised that the colour was wrong, too pale. When I rapped the panels with my knuckles there was the unmistakable ring of ceramic. But when I brushed them with my fingertips I felt wood grain, and mingled with that was tobacco smoke, beer and whisky. I looked at Nightingale, who was frowning as he too touched the wall. He caught me looking and nodded. The air was still, musty and dry.

  ‘We need to get on,’ he said and what with Kumar, Reynolds and the last two CO19 officers it was getting a bit tight in there. There was only one exit, a doorway framed with more fake ceramic wood.

  Like the well behaved coppers we were, we let the CO19 officers go first. After all, there’s really no point bringing them if you insist on standing between them and any potential targets.

  The doorway led to a long corridor lined not with fake wood panelling this time but with nasty mauve wallpaper. If I needed any further indication that the Quiet People didn’t have much of a colour sense then that wallpaper was it. At evenly spaced intervals were hung what looked like empty picture frames. Nightingale put a hand on each of the CO19 officers’ shoulders.

  ‘Quickly and quietly, lads,’ he said.

  Off we went, just as quietly as you’d expect from people wearing half a ton of various types of gear between us. Safety tip: wading trousers – not built for stealth. We pulled up short of where the corridor ended in a T-junction.

  ‘Which way now?’ Nightingale asked Zach.

  ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘This wasn’t here last time.’

  ‘I really wish you hadn’t said that,’ said Lesley.

  I was thinking of Space Hulk myself, but there are some things you don’t say out loud in front of other police.

  Nightingale didn’t hesitate. He gestured at the CO19 officers and one went left and one went right. Nightingale went with one and I went with the other.

  There was a single gunshot, astonishingly loud in the confined space. I threw myself back round the corner but Nightingale yelled, ‘Hold your fire.’

  There was a long moment of silence in which I took the opportunity to pick myself up.

  ‘I believe that was a warning shot,’ said Nightingale. ‘Peter, if you’d be so good as to ask Mr Palmer to come forward.’

  Zach vigorously shook his head but Lesley put her hand on his back and eased him forward until he could stick his head round the corner.

  ‘Would you be kind enough to tell them we come in peace?’ said Nightingale.

  ‘Do you think anyone has ever fallen for that one?’ asked Zach.

  ‘I don’t wish them to fall for anything, Mr Palmer,’ said Nightingale. ‘We need to establish an arrangement, or I fear things could become difficult.’

  ‘What makes you think they’ll be interested?’ asked Zach.

  ‘Had they wanted to, they could have shot us down already,’ said Nightingale.

  The CO19 officer on the left cleared his throat. ‘We generally seek to de-escalate these confrontations as soon as possible, sir,’ he said. ‘The longer they go on, the greater the likelihood of a sub-optimal outcome.’ It was an impressive speech from a man who was obviously dying to retreat back the way he’d come.

  ‘Duly noted,’ said Nightingale.

  ‘For god’s sake Zach,’ I said. ‘Usually we can’t get you to shut up.’

  Zach sighed and edged forward until he could look over Nightingale’s shoulder.

  ‘Yo!’ he called. ‘Is Ten-Tons around? I’ve got a man here wants to talk to him.’

  He held our breath. I heard a voice, nothing more than a whisper floating out of the dark.

  ‘Did you hear that?’ asked Lesley.

  Zach shushed her. ‘I’m trying to listen here,’ he said, and then called over Nightingale’s shoulder. ‘What was the last bit?’

  Lesley rolled her eyes but stayed quiet – I still couldn’t make out any words.

  ‘He says that the Nightingale and the soldiers got to stay out, but they’ll talk to the half-caste.’ He looked at me. ‘That’s you, by the way.’

  ‘Why me?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Zach. ‘Maybe they just don’t rate you very highly.’

  ‘You’re certainly not proceeding on your own,’ said Nightingale.

  We were in total agreement on that.

  Half-caste, I thought. I hadn’t heard that one in a while. Not since Mum fell out with Aunty Doris who, having grown up in Jamaica in the 1950s, regarded political correctness as something that happened to other people. If they were old-fashioned about that, I figured, they might be usefully old-fashioned in other ways.

  ‘Tell them we want to bring in a nurse,’ I said. ‘To make sure everyone is healthy.’

  ‘What are you thinking, Peter?’ asked Nightingale.

  I turned back and beckoned to Agent Reynolds, who was at the back with Kumar, closer.

  ‘Are you tooled up?’ I asked.

  She looked puzzled for a moment and then nodded.

  Lesley poked me in the arm. ‘Not without me,’ she said.

  ‘Two nurses,’ I told Zach.

  To preserve their night vision, we were keeping our torches pointed away from the CO19 Officers and Nightingale, but even half shadowed I could see he didn’t like the idea of sending women into danger.

  ‘Sir,’ I said. ‘Has to be done.’

  Nightingale sighed and nodded to Zach, who shouted out that he wanted to bring two nurses to meet them. I still couldn’t make out words in the reply but, after a couple more exchanges, Zach blew out a breath and said that they were willing to talk.

  ‘Who will we be talking to? I asked.

  ‘Ten-Tons,’ said Zach. ‘Maybe Ten-Tons’ daughter.’

  ‘Interesting,’ I said.

 
‘Who you’re not going to try anything with,’ said Zach.

  ‘Why would I be trying it on with Ten-Tons’ daughter?’ I asked.

  ‘Just don’t even think about it,’ said Zach.

  ‘No hanky panky with Ten-Tons’ daughter,’ I said. ‘Got it.’

  ‘What was all that about?’ asked Lesley.

  ‘I have no idea,’ I said, but I thought I probably did.

  ‘If we’re going to go, we might as well go now,’ said Zach. He called out that we were coming and stepped out in front of the left-hand CO19 officer. As I followed him Nightingale told me to be careful.

  ‘That’s the plan,’ I told him.

  ‘There’s a plan?’ asked Reynolds.

  ‘Do me a favour,’ said Lesley.

  We joined Zach. As I shone my torch down the tunnel I thought I saw pale faces in the distance.

  ‘You want to be pointing your light down – in front of you,’ said Zach.

  ‘Why’s that?’ asked Lesley.

  ‘They’ve got sensitive eyes,’ he said.

  When you’re police it’s important to always convey the impression that you know more about what’s really going on than any random member of the public. The best way to achieve this is to actually know more about something than people think you do. For example: I was pretty certain I knew where the Quiet People’s settlement was. Me, Lesley and Nightingale had taken to calling it a settlement because we didn’t like the demographic implications of the word village. We weren’t that keen on the word hamlet either.

  ‘What if it’s a town?’ Lesley had asked during the pre-operation briefing. ‘What if it’s a city?’

  ‘Let’s hope not,’ said Nightingale.

  I’d suggested in that case we should hand the whole problem over to Tyburn. Nightingale was not amused.

  He said that we should at least establish the scale of the problem before deciding what to do about it. I didn’t point out that the Quiet People had managed to go at least a hundred and sixty years already without being a problem – or at least a problem that affected the Queen’s Peace. Which was more than can be said, historically speaking, for the place we thought they might be living under.