She and I, Volume 1

by John C. Hutcheson

  CHAPTER NINE.

  BREAKERS AHEAD!

  Oh, I see thee, old and formal, fitted to thy petty part, With a little hoard of maxims preaching down a daughter's heart. "They were dangerous guides the feelings--she herself was not exempt-- Truly she herself had suffer'd"--perish in thy self-contempt!

  Mrs Clyde's appearance coming so suddenly upon the scene, acted as anapplication of the cold douche to all the loving ardour with which I wasaddressing Min. It completely spoiled the tableau; checking my eagerimpetuosity in a moment, and causing me to remain, tongue-tied, in astate of almost hopeless embarrassment.

  Picture the unexpected presentment of the statue of "The Commander"before Don Giovanni, and his horror at hearing words proceed from marblelips! You will, then, be able to form some faint idea of my feelings,when my pleasant position was thus interrupted by Min's mother. I wasaltogether "nonplussed," to use a vulgar but expressive word.

  Had she not come in so opportunely--or inopportunely, as _you_ maythink--I don't know what I might not have said.

  You see, I was close to my darling, bending down over her and lookinginto her beautiful face. I was fathoming the depths of her soul-lighted, lustrous grey eyes; and, contiguity is sometimes apt in suchcircumstances, I am told, to hurry one into the rashness of desperation,bringing matters to a crisis. However, Mrs Clyde's entrance stoppedall this. I was brought up all at once, "with a round turn," like ahorse in full gallop pulled back on his haunches; or, "all standing," asa boat with her head to the wind--whichever simile you may best prefer.

  A shower-bath is a very excellent thing in its way, when taken at theproper time and under certain conditions; but those two requirementsmust be carefully considered beforehand, for the human frame is a fabricof very delicate organisation. Any violent change, or hastyinterference with the regular and legitimate working of its functions,may throw the whole machine out of gear, just as the sudden quickeningof an engine's motions will, probably, cause it to break down or turn itoff the line; while, on the other hand, a wholesome tonic, or fillip,judiciously administered when occasion seems to demand it, like ourshower-bath, may often better enable it to discharge its duties and goall the more smoothly and easily--as a tiny touch of the oil-can willaffect the movements of man's mammoth mechanical contrivances, that areso typical of himself.

  There are some people, I am aware, who object to the institution intoto, arguing that it hurts the system with its unexpected shock, doingmore harm than good. There are others who believe in nothing butshocks, and similar methods of treatment out of the common run; andthese "go in" for shower-baths, "a discretion"--though, withoutdiscretion, would, perhaps, be a truer description. You may not beinformed, also, that the "institution" is frequently used in lunaticasylums and penal establishments as an instrument of torture andcorrection, being known to operate most efficaciously on obstreperousand hardened criminals, when all other means of coercion have failed.

  As it is with the shower-bath physically considered, so it is in regardto the moral douche, to bring my apparent digression to a pointedapplication. Properly taken, it nerves up the cerebral tissues;experienced unawares, at right angles to previous paths of thought andpreparation, it reduces the patient to a temporary state of mental comaand bewilderment--as exemplified in my case on the present unhappyoccasion.

  I never felt so completely "flabbergasted," as sailors say, in my life,as when Min's mother came into the room that afternoon, just at themoment when I was meditating a master-stroke against the fortress of mydarling's heart.

  I trembled in my boots.

  I wished the earth to open and swallow me up!

  Mrs Clyde was a thorough woman of the world. Judging her out of herown circle of limited diameter, you would imagine her to be cool,unimpassioned, cold-blooded, narrow-minded; but, she could be, at thesame time, bigoted enough in regard to all that concerned herself, hersocial surroundings and her belongings--an advocate, as warm asDemosthenes, as logical as Cicero:--a partisan amongst partisans. Warmand impulsive, where fervour and a display of seemingly-generousenthusiasm would effect the object she had in view, that of compassingher ends, she could also be as frigid as an icicle, when it likewise sosuited her purpose. "Respectability" and "position" were her gods:--the"world"--_her_ world!--her microcosm.

  Where persons and things agreed with these, being sympathetic to theirrules and regulations, they naturally belonged to "the house beautiful"of her creed, for they _must_ be good:--where they ran counter to suchstandards of merit, which were upheld by laws as unvarying andunchangeable as those of the Medes and Persians, and administered by ajudge as stern as Draco--they were, they _must_ be evil; and were,therefore, cast out into the outer darkness that existed beyond hersacred Lares and Penates.

  Good Heavens! how can pigmy people, atoms in the vast eternity of time,thus narrow the great universe in which they are permitted to exist;dwarfing it down, to the limit of their jaundiced vision, by theapplication of their miserable measuring tape of "fashionable" feet and"class" inches! How can they abase grand humanity to the level of theirsocial organon, affecting to control it with their arbitraryabsolutisms, their mammon deification, their mimic infallibility! Whatcreeping, crawling, wretched insects we all are, taken collectively;and, of all of us, the blindest, the most insignificant, and most grub-like, are, so-called men and women "of the world!"

  Cold, heartless, in a general sense, and worldly as Mrs Clyde was, Icould easily have excused it in her and tried to like her, for, was shenot the mother of my darling, whom with all her faults she loved verydearly--her affection being judiciously tempered by those considerationsparamount in the clique to which she belonged? But, Mrs Clyde did notlike _me_. She spurned every effort I essayed to make her my friend.

  I saw this the first evening I passed in her house; and the impression Ithen received never wore off.

  Just as you can tell at sight whether certain persons attract or repelyou, through some unknown, nameless influence that you are unable tofathom; so, in like degree, can you decide--that is, if you possess anaturally sensitive mind--whether they are drawn towards yourself orremain antipathetical. I know that _I_ can tell without asking them, ifpeople whom I see for the first time are likely to fancy me or not; and,at all events, I had some inward monition which warned me that MrsClyde, contrary to my earnest wish that she should regard me in afriendly light, was not one of those amiable beings who would "cotton tome," as the inhabitants of New England express the sentiment in theirpointed vernacular.

  Perhaps you think me a very egotistical person, thus to dwell upon myown ideas and feelings?

  You must recollect, however, that I'm telling you this story myself, astory in which I am both actively and intimately interested; and how,unless I speak of my own self, are you going to learn anything about me?I have nobody to describe me, so I _must_ be what you call"egotistical."

  Yes, Mrs Clyde did not like me.

  I do not mean to say, remember, that she was impolite, or grim, orwanting in courtesy.

  The reverse was the case, as she was one of the smoothest, suavestpersons you ever met.

  But, there is an exquisitely refined way in which a woman of the worldcan make you understand that your presence is "de trop" and your societydistasteful, without saying a single word that might be construed intoan offence against good breeding.

  Mrs Clyde was a thorough mistress of this art.

  Her searching eye could appraise at a glance a man's mental calibre or alady's toilette. It seemed to pierce you through and through, exploringyour inmost thoughts, and enlightening her as to what her course ofprocedure should be in regard to you, before she had spoken a word, oryou either.

  So _I_ believed at any rate; for, to tell the honest truth, I washorribly afraid of Min's mother. I always felt on tenter hooks in herpresence, from the very first date of our acquaintanceship.

  On coming into the room where Min and I were regarding Dicky Chip'sperformances with loving eyes, and I
completely "translated" by variouscombinating influences, Mrs Clyde appeared to take in the situation inan instant--"an eyewink," as a minute portion of time is happilyrendered in the Teutonic tongue. Certainly, she grasped everything at aglance--even the contingency that might have possibly occurred, for, myembarrassment was not lost upon her. I saw an anxious expression hoveracross her face for a second, to be quickly replaced by her ordinarysociety look of calm, studied suavity.

  "Oh!" she exclaimed, in well-feigned astonishment at my presence--"MrLorton, how d'ye do!"

  "How do you do, Mrs Clyde?" said I, straightening myself up, and thenbending in feeble attempt at a bow.

  She said nothing further for the moment, thinking it best to leave theburden of the conversation on me, so as to better promote my ease ofmanner and general welfare, in a "company" light. She was dexterous infence, was Mrs Clyde.

  "Ah!" said I at length after an uncomfortable pause, "that was adelightful evening we had last night!" It was a polite falsehood; butthen, one must say something when in "society" be it never so senselessand silly!

  "I am glad you enjoyed yourself," she answered, although she knew wellenough that I had done no such thing.

  "Oh, mamma!" said Min, coming to the rescue, "see what a dear littlebird Mr Lorton has brought me! It is really so clever that it canalmost do anything. Dicky, dicky, cheep!" she chirped to my youngrepresentative, who sat in the centre of the table, perched on aphotographic album and with his head cocked on one side. He was staringvery inquisitively at Mrs Clyde. He evidently regarded her as anenemy; for, the feathers on his crest got ruffled.

  "Indeed!" said her mother, in freezing accents--down to the temperatureof the best Wenham Lake ice!--"I'm sure Mr Lorton is very good! Still,you know, Minnie," she continued, "that I do not like you receivingpresents in this way."

  "But it is only a little bird, Mrs Clyde!" I said, at last nerved upto the speaking-point. I thought she would have told me then and thereto take it back; and I awaited, in fear and trembling, what she wouldsay next.

  "And he's such a little darling, mamma!" interposed Min impulsively.

  Mrs Clyde could not help smiling.

  "That may be quite true, my dear," she said; "but, as you know, and asMr Lorton is probably also aware--although he is very young to have asyet mixed much in the world"--_cut number two_!--"it is not quitecorrect for young ladies to receive presents, however trifling, fromgentlemen who are, comparatively, strangers to them, and to whom theyhave been but barely introduced!"--_cut three_!

  "Oh, mamma!" said Min, in an agony of maidenly shame. She coloured upto the eyes--at the dread of having done something she ought not to havedone.

  Her exclamation armed me to the teeth. I would have stood up in defenceof my darling against a hundred mammas, all cased in society's bestsatire-proof steel. I determined to "carry the war into Egypt," andopened fire accordingly.

  "Pardon me, Mrs Clyde," said I, quite as frigidly as herself--"but thefault, if error there be on either side, lies on my shoulders. I amsure I meant no harm. I only brought the little bird as a remembranceof your daughter's birthday, having forgotten to present it yesterday,when her other friends made _their_ offerings."

  My speech, however, produced no impression; she quickly parried my weakthrust, returning me tierce en carte.

  "But they were all _old_ friends, Mr Lorton:--_that_ made it quite adifferent thing," she said, very coldly, although with the sweetestexpression. I daresay Jael smiled very pleasantly when she drove thatnail into Sisera's temple!

  I thought I perceived a slight loophole for attack. "I believe," saidI, "that both Mr Horner and Mr Mawley were only introduced to MissClyde a short time previously to myself."

  Bless you, I was a child in her practised hands! Fancy my making such ablunder as to show her where the shoe pinched me!

  "I think, Mr Lorton," she replied, "that _I_ am the best judge as towhom I consider my daughter's friends. Mr Mawley is a clergyman of theparish, and Mr Horner the nephew of a gentleman whom I have known foryears!"--Ah! she _did_ know about Horner's expectations, then; I thoughtshe did!--"But," she continued, in a slightly less frigid tone, probablyon account of seeing Min's agitation, and from the belief that she hadput me down sufficiently--"But, Mr Lorton, I do not wish to appearunkind; and, as you never thought of all this, most likely, my daughtermay keep the bird you kindly brought her, if she likes."

  "Oh, thank you, mamma," said Min, caressing Dicky Chips, who thereuponburst into a paean of melody, in which the opening bars of the "SilverTrumpets" march and "Green grow the Rushes, O" were mixed upharmoniously, in splendid confusion. Knowing little bullfinch that hewas! He succeeded, as peradventure he intended, in at once turning theconversation into a fresh channel, where Min's constraint and myembarrassment were soon dispelled.

  Mrs Clyde had not been a bit put out during the entire interview.

  She was now, as she had been all along, as cool and collected, as suaveand serene, as possible. In this respect she somewhat resembled Horner,her promising young friend--nothing could put her out--although _her_mental equilibrium resulted from habit and training; while Horner's, inmy opinion, was entirely owing to his natural apathy and inherentdulness of disposition.

  Shortly after hostilities had terminated between us, and a trucedeclared, Mrs Clyde said that she hoped that I would kindly excuseherself and Min, as they had to prepare to go out to make several calls.

  Thus politely dismissed, I accordingly took my leave. But, not beforethe astute lady of the world had contrived to impress me with theconsideration that Mrs Clyde moved in a very different circle to thatof Mr Lorton; and, that, if I had the assurance and audacity to aspireto the hand of "her daughter," I need not nurse the sweet belief that_she_ would lend a favourable ear to my suit. I must, in that case, beprepared to wage a war a outrance, in which there would be no quarterallowed, on _one_ side at least.

  You must not think that I make these remarks with any bitter feelingsnow in my heart towards Min's mother. I only desire to tell my storytruthfully; and, I may say at once that she failed in our after struggletogether. I really believe that she meant honestly to do the best shecould for her daughter, as "the best" was held by the articles of hersocial creed; and that she manoeuvred so that her "lines" should "fallin pleasant places." Yet, those good thoughts, and best wishes, andwise plans of worldly people, effect incalculable mischief and miseryand unhappiness in life.

  Many a sorely-tried heart has been broken by their influence--many a manand woman ruined for life and for eternity, through their means! And,although I mean no harm towards Mrs Clyde now, as I have alreadystated, however much I may have been opposed to her once--for the battlehas been fought lang syne, and the game played out to its end--still, Ican never forget that she _was_ my enemy!