THAT RING

by Dodd, Jillian

  And I’m a professional football player, I want to say but don’t.

  “I invited her,” Jadyn says. “Your dad hadn’t seen Jennifer since you were a baby.”

  “Did you have an affair with her when I was a baby?” my daughter asks.

  “To answer that question, I need to tell you a story first. I want you to understand the whole story because it’s important to me. Just after you were born, I went to California to meet with my agent—you know, Carter.”

  She nods.

  “He took me to a celebrity function. Lots of famous people were there. And that’s when I met Jennifer. Sometimes, you meet someone and have an instant connection. Jennifer and I both felt that way. We laughed, we talked, and we didn't want the night to end, so we hung out on the beach and watched the sunrise together.”

  “You spent the night with her?” Devaney cries out. “Dad, that’s cheating.”

  “No, it's not. Jennifer and I didn't have sex. We just became friends that night.”

  “Like you and Chase,” Jadyn adds in.

  “Mom says boys and girls can’t be just friends,” Devaney counters.

  “And you know that’s not true,” Jadyn fires back. “You and Chase are best friends, just like your dad and me.”

  “So, anyway,” I continue, “Jennifer and I stayed in touch. And she came to a Nebraska game.”

  “Was Mom there?” Devaney asks. “Because she said she’d never met Jennifer.”

  “No,” I tell her, “but she was supposed to have been. Jennifer called me at the last minute and said she was coming. Your mom canceled going at the same time. When Jennifer and I hung out again, I knew that I couldn’t be just friends with her because I kinda liked her. And I couldn’t like her because I was married.”

  “Sometimes, life is complicated,” Jadyn explains, “and you have to make choices. Your dad knew if he stayed friends with Jennifer, that cheating might eventually happen. And he didn’t want that.”

  “You and your mom were too important to me,” I say. “I loved your mother, and I wanted us to be an amazing family. And I haven’t spoken to or seen Jennifer since I told her that we couldn’t be friends. Until the other day when I walked into Auntie Jay’s house for some milk.”

  “So, you didn’t cheat, but when you saw her again years later, you still liked her? It seems like you like her.”

  “I do like her. But if you don’t want me to see her, if you hate her, I'll stop seeing her. You and Damon are the most important things in my life. I hope you don't hate her though and that you will give her a chance because I really do like her.”

  “Do you love her?” Devaney asks, brightening.

  “I haven’t told her yet because it’s too soon to know for sure, but I think I might.”

  “I want you to be happy, Daddy,” she says sweetly and then throws her arms around me. When she ends our hug, she asks, “Why did Mom lie?”

  I let out a deep sigh. It was the one question that I hoped she wouldn’t ask.

  “Remember how your friend Megan broke up with Trevor because she decided she liked Dillon instead?” Jadyn says, coming to my rescue and changing the subject.

  “Yeah,” Devaney says, scrunching up her face, trying to figure out what that has to do with anything.

  “And then when Trevor started going out with Shaylie, what did Megan do?” Jadyn asks.

  “She tried to break them up,” Devaney states, and I suddenly get where Jadyn is going with this.

  “Why?”

  “She was jealous,” Devaney replies.

  “But she was going out with Dillon. That makes no sense. Why would she even care?” Jadyn asks.

  Devaney shrugs and raises an eyebrow. “That’s what I wondered. But Megan said that Trevor shouldn’t be able to get over her so fast. That he was hers first. She was jealous. It didn’t really make sense.” She turns to me. “Is that what Mom’s doing?”

  “I think so,” I say, not sure how to proceed. This feels like dangerous territory.

  “And it’s not just about your dad, I suspect,” Jadyn says. “It’s more about Jennifer. Your mom doesn’t want to be with your dad anymore because she’s happy with Richard, but at the same time, she doesn’t want anyone else to have him.”

  “I don’t know why she would think that. When she asked about Jennifer, I told her that Jennifer is really nice.”

  Jadyn puts her hand to her chest. “You’re her baby. And she’s probably feeling a little worried that you might like Jennifer more than you like her. I know it sounds silly, but even adults get worried about stuff like that.”

  “Sometimes, I do,” she mutters.

  “I used to fight with my mom,” Jadyn says as she pulls a tray of cookies out of the oven. “We never agreed on anything. I was always Daddy’s little girl. I totally got my way with him.”

  “Like Hayley does with Uncle Phillip? He’s hard on Chase, but Hayley gets anything she wants,” she asks.

  “Exactly like that. But what about me and Chase?” Jadyn says.

  “You’re kinda a pushover when it comes to him,” my daughter replies. “He says he just has to smile at you or give you a kiss on the nose.”

  “Exactly. And although all I want for him out of life is to be happy and healthy, someday, when he gets married, it’s going to be hard for me. I might feel a little jealous. He will have been mine for the first twenty years of his life,” Jadyn says.

  “Thirty,” I cough, praying my daughter doesn’t want to get married until at least then.

  “Whatever,” Jadyn says with a wave of her hand and then uses a spatula to pile the warm cookies on a plate. “He’s going to fall in love, and some girl is going to take him away from me. But I want that. I want him to fall in love and have a family of his own. It’s not really rational, is it?”

  “Okay, I get it,” Devaney says, turning to offer me a cookie. “You want some milk?”

  “I’d love some.” As she is pouring it in a couple of glasses, I say, “Dani, if your mom ever tells you something and you don’t know if it’s true or not, come to me. I promise that I’ll always tell you the truth.”

  “Hmm,” she says. “Have you slept with Jennifer?”

  “Uh,” I reply.

  She gives me a smirk. “It’s okay. You don’t have to give me the I’m a grown man speech. I know I’m not supposed to have sex until I’m married, right?”

  “That’s definitely right,” I state.

  “And you and Mom waited until you were married? Mom was your first?”

  I can see Jadyn’s chest shaking, and a few moments later, she breaks out laughing.

  “Shut up,” I say to her.

  “I see,” Devaney says, waggling her eyebrows at me. “I think I’ll take some of these cookies up to Chase’s room.”

  Once she’s out of earshot, I turn to Jadyn, who is still giggling.

  “I tried to hold it in,” she says.

  Phillip comes out of the study with the champagne bottle in hand, sets it down, then walks out to the garage, and brings back three beers.

  “I think we might need something a little more stout after that conversation,” he says.

  “I notice you didn’t bother to join us.” I say.

  Phillip just laughs.

  I open my beer and stand here with the bottle in the air, not knowing what the heck to say.

  Jadyn speaks instead, “Here’s to our children growing up.”

  “I don’t think I can drink to that,” I reply.

  “How about we drink to me going and kicking Lori’s ass?” Phillip says. “I can’t even believe she had the nerve to say that to Dani! To drag her into it. Ugh! I mean, what the foxtrot?”

  I laugh. “I’ll drink to that.”

  November 9th

  Jennifer

  I can’t sleep. A glance at the clock tells me it’s only five in the morning. My time here has been productive. My career is back on track, and I have three really good scripts sitting on the bedside t
able. The problem is, I’m not sure I want it anymore.

  I also don’t know what to do about Troy. I have managed to avoid seeing or speaking to him. But Jason called me last night, and I can’t avoid it any longer. He’s a wreck, and if I don’t do something about it, he’ll end up dead.

  I consider calling Jadyn, who I know put her kids to bed two nights ago and then flew here, but it’s probably still too early.

  I pick up my phone, deciding to call Danny, who is always the bright spot in my day.

  “Hey,” I say when he answers. “And I know, it’s for horses.”

  “How are you this morning, gorgeous?” His voice is deep and gravelly, like he just woke up.

  “Wishing I were there with you,” I say exactly what I’m thinking.

  “Then, come home,” he says.

  “Home?” I repeat slowly, the word sinking in. “Are you suggesting Kansas City should become my home?”

  “Well, I am willing to share my bed with you,” he says sexily.

  “Are you really? What about the kids?”

  “Devaney told me last night that it’s okay if I date and that she wants me to be happy.”

  “That’s sweet, but dating to her is probably different than me sharing your bed. Or moving in with you. Like, that’s a really big step.”

  “There’s a place close by where you could sleep if it feels like too much of a commitment.”

  “You’re not divorced yet, Danny. I know your wife moved in with Dickrash, but I can’t move in with you until we’re in a relationship. It just sends the wrong message to your children.”

  “Lori signed the papers yesterday,” he tells me.

  “Did you give her the car?”

  “Yeah, and she was shocked. It’s so awesome that she is going to be stuck with a car she hates. I owe you for that brilliant move.”

  “We’re going to have to get you a new one,” I tell him. “When do you want to go look?”

  “Um, I probably should tell you about my conversation with my daughter first,” he says.

  “What happened?”

  “Devaney was upset because Lori had told her that you and I had been having an affair and led her to believe that’s why we were getting a divorce.”

  “I wish that were the case,” I mutter, causing Danny to laugh.

  “I was thinking the same thing. But it actually turned out to be a good talk. Jadyn helped, but I told Dani that I really like you and that even though her mother doesn’t want to be with me, she still doesn’t really want me to be with anyone else.”

  “I have to go see Troy today,” I blurt out, not able to hold it in any longer.

  “I thought you decided not to?”

  “Yeah, well, Jason says Troy’s going to kill himself. That he is afraid to go in Troy’s room and wake him up every afternoon. Afraid he’s going to find Troy dead. If that happened and I could have done something to help, I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life.”

  “And you’re hoping to sweet-talk him into going to rehab?”

  “I think I at least need to try.”

  “And you promise that you won’t be alone with him? I’m not worried about you sleeping with him, but I am worried about your safety. If you decide to get back together with him, let me know, so I can go cry in the corner.”

  “Danny Diamond,” I purr. “You are the only man I want to sleep with. It’s a really good thing that we did it quite a few times that night. Reliving it in my dreams is the only thing keeping me going.”

  My phone rings, and I see that he’s requesting to video chat. I smooth out my hair and hit Accept.

  “I wanted to see your face when I said this. I was going to tell you when you came back, but I’m going to tell you now. I haven’t dated in a long time, but even then, I never played games with girls. I fell hard for you and walked away all those years ago. You should hate me for that, but you don’t. I did the right thing for my family but the wrong thing for me. We’ve been given the opportunity to change that. In football terms, when I see an open hole, I go for it.”

  I start laughing hysterically.

  He looks puzzled. He’s pouring his heart out, and I’m laughing at him. I’m so bad. But I can’t help it.

  “You said … you said,” I say, practically hyperventilating because I’m laughing so hard. “Oh my gosh, Danny. I know you are being serious right now, and I so love what you said. But it’s all your fault. You warped my mind with your dirty football terms.” I laugh some more. “And … you just said you were going for the open hole. And”—I clutch my stomach, doubling over. I don’t know why this is making me laugh so hard. Maybe I needed the break from life—“I am the open hole. Get it? Like, sexually? Ohmigawd. I’m sorry.”

  His face breaks out into a crooked smile, like he’s trying to hold it in, and then he starts laughing, too. He shakes his head at me and narrows his eyes. “I promise, no more football terms when I’m trying to be serious and romantic.”

  His words stop my laughter. I suck in a breath.

  “Perfect. Keep going. Please.”

  “What I was trying to say is that I want you in my life. If you want a baby, I want a baby. I just can’t move to California right now. You told me that you had taken time off to travel with Troy. When were you supposed to start back to work?”

  “Not until mid-February.”

  He gives me another beaming smile, one that reaches his brilliant blue eyes. “Which gets me through the season. I know Kansas City isn’t quite as glitzy as traveling to European nightclubs, but you could come here instead, maybe? We can see how things go and decide what’s next for both of us. Together. If I get my third ring, I’m probably going to retire. Which would open up even more possibilities.”

  I gaze into his eyes. I’m so incredibly happy.

  He must take my silence as indecision because he starts talking fast, “I know that’s asking a lot. LA is your home and where you work. It’d be a big lifestyle change to the one you’re probably used to living.”

  “I grew up in a small town, Danny. I want you and whatever challenges you bring. Let’s figure them out together.”

  “I just don’t want you to give up your career for me though. Like, I’m adamant about that. My wife blamed me for her not going to medical school even though it was her choice. Never once had I even suggested it.”

  “What about your sex life?” I blurt out. My old tendencies seem to have come back with a flourish.

  “What about yours?” he counters.

  “We were apart more than we were together,” I tell him. “So, that made it seem better than it was. It was nothing compared to how it is with you.”

  “And mine was—you know, looking back is different than living it,” he says. “We had sex. Sex feels good. I loved her. But sex was always very … orchestrated. The right mood, the right lingerie, a new sex toy, the right lighting. Even when we were dating, it was that way. I was used to doing it whenever and wherever in college. This felt mature. Like I was a grown-up. If that makes sense.”

  “It does. That’s the problem with sex. Emotions get in the way.”

  “Yet emotions are the best part of sex.”

  “The love?” I dare ask.

  “Well, the love deepens your feelings, but there are other emotions—desire, need, hunger, and simple primal urge. I know we’ve only been together the one night, but I’d say sex with you is the full package.”

  I visually swoon, clasping my hands together and holding them in front of my lips. “And I very much like the package,” I tease before we say good-bye.

  Danny

  After I hang up with Jennifer, I head to practice. I’m feeling both happy about the fact that Jennifer will be able to come back here for the season and worried about her visit with Troy.

  I pick up my phone and call Jadyn.

  “Everything okay?” she asks upon answering. And even though it’s quite early on the West Coast, I can hear a jackhammer in the background and know she’
s on the job site.

  “Yeah, everyone is fine. Do you have a minute to talk?”

  “Sure. Hang on.” She must put me on mute because the next time I hear her voice, she’s somewhere quiet. “What’s up?”

  “Jennifer is supposed to see Troy today. She promised not to be alone with him, but she only mentioned that his manager, some Jason guy, would be there. If things get out of hand, I’m not sure that’s enough, you know?”

  “She mentioned that when he was drunk and out of control, he could get violent,” she says. “There were tabloid reports this morning of him out partying again last night. The press seems to love following him. Probably waiting for him to implode.”

  “Any ideas on how I can make sure she stays safe without being the overprotective boyfriend?”

  “Boyfriend?” she teases in a singsong voice that reminds me of when we were kids. “Is that an official title?”

  “I didn’t ask her to go steady, if that’s what you’re asking. But I did sort of ask her to move in with me. At least, for the rest of the season. She isn’t scheduled to start filming until February, so we have some time to figure things out.”

  “Danny! What did she say?”

  “She said no,” I reply in mock sorrow.

  Jadyn is quiet. “I’m sorry. I really thought—”

  “She said that she wouldn’t move in with me until after the divorce was final. Because of the kids.”

  “I guess that makes sense. And it’s a good parenting move. Even though your wife—”

  I interrupt her again, “I told her I knew somewhere close by that she could stay.”

  “Oh, I see. You’re calling to suck up,” she teases.

  “Kinda.”

  “It’s fine if she stays. Phillip’s sister called yesterday to tell us that she couldn’t make it for Christmas. She has to have surgery on her knee during the holiday break, so their family won’t be coming down as planned.”

  Phillip’s older sister, Ashley, works in administration at the university and still lives in Nebraska where we all grew up.

  “And it sounds like Phillip’s parents are going to help out, so the room will be free.”