Adam

by Katie Dowe

  Amber felt a jolt as she realized that she had said the same thing to Jared! “Why?”

  He shrugged again and stared down at her, examining ever exquisite feature. “I have no idea.” His eyes dropped to her parted lips and he felt the stirring of something so strong that he almost groaned! “You are beautiful-”

  “Stop.” Her voice was quiet and his eyes flew to hers. “We are friends, Adam, just that. You are my best friend and we always established that we will be best friends no matter what.”

  “Why are you telling me that?”

  “Because I do not want to lose you.”

  “You won’t,” he told her resolutely. “Why would you say something like that?’’

  “Because I think that is where you are heading and I want to stop you before it is too late, before we spoil-”

  “We?” He gave her an intense look, his silver eyes boring into hers.

  “I have no intention of spoiling what is between us.”

  “Just out of curiosity,” he drawled as he looked down at her. “How are things between you and Jared?”

  “That’s none of your concern.”

  “We are best friends, aren’t we? Best friends who share our innermost thoughts and share information, secrets even. So how is it going with the two of you?”

  “I am not answering that,” she told him firmly.

  “Let me guess,” he said cynically. “You told him that you wanted to take it slow, be friends first. Am I right?”

  Amber felt the warmth of his muscled chest in the fitted jacket and the thudding of his heart! Just friends, she reminded herself. It had to stay that way for the sake of not losing what they had. She lifted her eyes and shook her head at what she saw on his face. “Adam, no!”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” he told her softly, but they both knew what was happening. Somewhere along the road, the relationship had taken a turn, possibly without them even realizing it, but it had changed. They could not cling to the ‘just friends’ line anymore because it had changed!

  “We are going to forget that this ever happened!” Her voice was breathless and her flesh felt clammy. “I am going to go back to the man who brought me here tonight and you are going to go over to the very hopeful Bianca and we are going to go back to where we were before, Adam.”

  “And if we can’t?” His voice was taut as he looked down at her.

  “Then I am going to lose the most important relationship I have,” she whispered. The music ended just then and they stood there staring at each other before she whirled away and headed towards Jared with a determinedly bright smile on her face. Adam went over to where Bianca was standing with mutual friends and pretended that he was not churning inside because he had discovered that he was in love with his best friend and had probably been for years!

  Chapter 7

  He got drunk that night when he went back to his apartment. He had spent the entire night being so aware of her presence that he had hardly been able to concentrate on anything else that had been happening around him. He had smiled and participated in the conversation going on and had even managed a few moments of laughter as well, but the joy had gone out of the night for him. He watched her covertly and discovered that every time he looked over at her and heard her laughter, it tied him up in knots. He sat in his darkened bedroom with the moonlight streaming through the floor to ceiling glass and stared into his drink broodingly. How could he be in love with her? How could he not notice that he was in love with her? How could he have fooled himself into thinking of her as just a friend? He drank some more and felt his body mellowing. She had left before him and he had waited a few more minutes before he told Bianca that he was ready. He should leave, he decided. He could go to Europe. There were apartment buildings there that the company had accumulated and were under renovations. He could go and personally see to the work there. He could spend a couple of months there and work and party like he always did in the past. He could run away again and not come back for six months or more, but he had done that already and it had not worked! He finished the drink and getting to his feet, he went to pour some more. He could call and tell her that the ‘silliness’ was over and that they could go back to being best friends, but neither of them would believe it. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to taste her lips, and he wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her until they were both exhausted! “Christ!” His voice exploded in the otherwise quiet room. He paced the length of the thick golden brown carpet, his legs weak. A glance at the digital clock showed that it was almost two in the morning and he could not sleep. He had promised his father he would be at the office for a meeting by nine and he needed to get some sleep. Was she sleeping? he wondered achingly. Or was she up like he was tormenting herself about the status of their relationship? Was she thinking about him? About being with him the way he was thinking about being with her? “Amber,” he groaned. Lifting the glass to his forehead, he rolled it against his skin, trying to cool the heat. He laughed grimly as he realized that for the first time in his life he was faced with a situation he had no idea what to do about!

  *****

  Amber was not sleeping either. She had told Jared that she had a headache and had told him that she wanted to leave. He had agreed without hesitation and had taken her home. She had squeezed his hands at the door and gone inside, promising to call him in the morning. She had danced with him and pretended to be attentive to everything he had said to her and she had acted as if everything was okay. It was not until she had reached inside and closed and locked the door behind her that she had allowed herself to think. She went into the bedroom and took off dress, carefully hanging it up inside the closet and just as carefully she had gone into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash off her makeup before going back into the bedroom to put the t-shirt she had slept in the night before on before climbing into bed. It was only then that she had allowed herself to think. Adam was her best friend, she told herself firmly. There could never be anything else between them other than friendship. She had already established that! She had known from the moment she laid eyes on him and knew who he was that there could never be anything between them but friendship. He was a Whitmore, she was a Gardner. He was fabulously wealthy and she was a woman who worked for a living. He was a playboy who could pretty much have any woman he wanted and had pretty much done so and she was a woman who had been with two men in her entire life. Their families were enemies and his grandfather and father would never sanction a relationship between them. Amber had a feeling that the only reason they allowed and tolerated a relationship between her and Adam was because they were just friends. Anything else and they would come at her with guns blazing! She was not afraid of them, but she cared for Adam too much to alienate him from his family and that would be the case if they knew that it was more than just friendship between her and Adam. Amber propped herself onto the pillows and tried to think about something else. Her mother had called her earlier in the day and told her that she might be coming by for a visit. It had been one month since Grams had died and apart from a few sketchy phone calls asking how Amber was doing, she had not heard from her, but she never allowed that to bother her. She had learned a long time ago not to let what her mother did get under her skin. She had thought about calling Adam and telling him about the call but had decided against it. “Damn you, Adam!” she whispered tearfully. “Why did you have to go and change things?” But she knew in all honesty that Adam was not the only one to be blamed!

  *****

  “This is very nice,” Bianca commented as she handed him the salad bowl. She was aware that he was preoccupied from the other day but noticed that he was not willing to share what was bothering him with her. She had been furious when she saw the way he held Amber in his arms on the night of the party and had been relieved that he had not approached her again for the rest of the night. He had called and checked up on her and then out of the blue he had called and invited himself to dinner at her place. She did not
want to question why he had never invited her over to his apartment and told herself that she was willing to do it his way as long as he still wanted to be with her.

  “It is and the fact that you can actually cook is even nicer,” he told her with a smile.

  “You thought I would not be able to cook because of the fact that I come from a wealthy family,” she said with an answering smile. “I would have you know, Adam Whitmore, that I actually enjoy cooking when I have the time.”

  “Good to know.” His silvery eyes wandered over her beautiful face. He should have been able to fall in love with her. She was perfect! She had all the right attributes to make him a good companion – she was from the right family, their family were very good friends. She had a successful career, smart, had a lot of class, and his family would approve of the match. She had expressed her desire to have children and had hinted that she would like nothing better than to be the mother of his children. She was perfect and whenever he was with her, he could not stop thinking about Amber. For the first time in his life, he was celibate and had no desire to take the woman to bed and it was scaring the hell out of him! He knew she needed a commitment and he could not give it to her.

  “Adam, is there something wrong?” she ventured as she stared at him.

  Other than the fact that I cannot stop thinking about Amber? he thought grimly as he sipped his wine.

  He shook his head. “I am thinking about going to Europe for a while.”

  Her eyes widened as she looked at him. “I thought you were staying for a little bit.”

  “There are some things I need to take care of.”

  “What about us?”

  He avoided her eyes as he contemplated just how to answer the question. “I don’t know, Bianca.”

  “I see.” She settled back in her chair and tried to keep the pain from her expression. “You were never interested in me, were you?”

  He closed his eyes before responding. “It’s not that-”

  Just then his phone rang and he turned it face up to see who was calling. Bianca saw the expression on his face and guessed who it was. He slid back his chair and got to his feet. “I have to take this.” He slid the green button and answered the call, quickly walking into the living room.

  Bianca strained to hear the conversation and hated herself for doing it but she could not help it!

  “What’s wrong?” she heard him say. He listened for a moment and then responded. “I will be right there.”

  She settled back into her seat as he strode into the room.

  “You are leaving.”

  “I am sorry, Bianca.” He was already putting on his sport coat and looking around for his keys.

  “Whenever Amber calls, you go running,” she said bitterly.

  His eyes connected with hers and he did not even try to deny that it was her. “I am sorry,” he repeated. “She needs me.”

  And with that, he was gone, leaving Bianca sitting at the dinner table, an expression of bitter defeat on her face.

  *****

  She had left the door open for him and he hurried inside and not finding her in the living room, he went into her bedroom to find her in bed with the sheets drawn up over her body. “Hey.” He shrugged out of his jacket and moved forward to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “You came,” she whispered.

  “Was there ever any doubt?” He placed the back of his hand on her forehead and pulled back in dismay. “You are burning up!”

  “I have a fever,” she croaked.

  “You think?” He got off the bed and went into the bathroom to fill a bowl with cold water and grabbing a towel, he came back into the room. “I think we should get you to the emergency room.”

  “No,” she whispered. “I have something for the fever and I will be okay.”

  “I am going to try and get the fever down.” He dipped the towel into the water and squeezing out the excess water, he started running it over her face and arms before going to her neck and chest. He pulled the sheet away and after hesitating a little, he pulled the t-shirt over her head. His hands trembled a little as he stared at her bare breasts with their puckered nipples and it took every ounce of control to tamper down the desire raging through his body at the sight of her nakedness! But she did not seem to notice his reaction to her, maybe because she was feeling so lousy or she was not as affected as he was! He quickly finished wiping her down and going over to one of the drawers, he searched and found another t-shirt for her to put on. He then went to get her some painkillers and a glass of water.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “Go to sleep.” He pushed the tendrils of hair from her forehead gently.

  “You would have made a great physician,” she teased.

  “I doubt that.” He pulled the sheets over her and before he had even moved away, her eyes were closing.

  “Don’t go.” Her eyes flickered open again as he moved away from the bed.

  “I am not going anywhere.” He proved it by sinking into the sofa in front of the bed.

  He watched her for a little bit before tilting his head back to stare at the plain white ceiling. He had not heard from her since the party four days ago and had decided not to call her. But the minute she had called him and told him that she was not feeling well, he had raced over to be with her so he could take care of her. He had been in the middle of having dinner with the woman he was supposed to be seeing and had come as soon as she had called with pathetic haste. He knew that he would never smooth things over with Bianca again and wondered if he even wanted to. He could not keep stringing her along and pretending that she meant something to him. He was hurting her in the process of doing that and he did not want to do that. He rubbed the side of his neck wearily as he contemplated where they would go from there! Because he was smart enough to know that they could not go back!

  *****

  Sometime during the night, he had fallen asleep with his head curved in an uncomfortable position on the sofa. But something had awakened him and for a minute he frowned as he wondered where he was! He stretched his long legs out and lifted his head, staring around the room, his eyes going to the bed where Amber was thrashing around restlessly. He got to his feet immediately and walked over to her. “Amber?”

  Her eyes flew open, startling him with the feverish brightness of her gaze. He placed a hand on her forehead and found that she was extremely hot. “Your fever has returned.” He went to get some more water to wipe her down and after a slight hesitation, he took off his clothes and joined her on the bed. She did not resist when he pulled her into his arms but curved her hot body closer to him to seek his warmth. He smoothed back her hair and whispered to her until she was snuggled against him and was fast asleep again. But Adam could not sleep. He had her practically naked in his arms, her breasts pressing against his bare chest and was so aware of her that every fiber of his body was responding to hers. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on something else, but it did not work. Her fingers were curled into the dark hairs on his chest, her face pressed against him. He laughed silently and wondered if this was his punishment for the way he had treated women in the past and specifically how he had treated Bianca earlier. He was aroused and there was nothing he could do about it!

  *****

  He woke up the next morning to find her with her chin propped up on her folded hands placed on his chest staring at him. His silvery eyes connected with hers as he stared back at her. He had no idea when he had fallen asleep during the course of the night. “Hi,” he murmured, realizing that his arms were wrapped around her waist. “How are you?”

  “Well, the fever is gone and so is the pain.” She tried to move, but he held her to him. He lifted one hand to touch her forehead and was relieved at the coolness of her skin.

  “It appears that you are right,” he murmured. His fingers slid through her tangled hair slowly until he was cupping the back of her head and massaging it. “You were roasting last night,” he teased. “Li
ke I could boil a pot of water on you.”

  “Yes.” For the first time in their relationship, Amber had no idea what to say to him. He was not wearing a shirt and even though this was not the first time she had seen without a shirt on, this was the first time she felt as if everything was knotted up inside her! “Would you like some breakfast?” She tried to move again, but he held her fast.

  “No.” His eyes were on her mouth and Amber felt her heart picking up the pace.

  “Adam-”

  “I know what you are going to say, Amber,” he told her with a strained smile. “I have spent the night saying those same things to myself while I held you in my arms. We are friends and I would never want to do anything to strain the friendship. I would never do anything to lose you because I could never recover from that, but I am not going to kid myself anymore. It is more – this is more and we have to face it.”

  She did not answer because she did not know what to say to him. She felt the buildup of emotions inside her and had never felt them so intense before! “We can’t,” she said without conviction. “We shouldn’t,” she added, but she was already leaning towards him, her mouth lifting to his as he lowered his head towards hers. The first touch of his lips on hers spiked her blood pressure to a new level of high! Adam angled her head to his and pressed his lips to hers slowly, coaxingly, waiting for her to open her mouth to his. Amber did as he silently requested, her heart racing, her body hot and not from the fever from last night! It was a different kind of heat, the kind of heat that was spinning through her body at such a rapid pace that had her shivering! He shifted so that she was beneath him, his body pressing against hers as his hands framed her face. He lifted his head, his eyes searching her face for signs of resistance, and when he found none, he lowered his head again. Her lips parted beneath the persistence of his, their tongues joined and then separated as he slowed the kiss down. Her hands came up around his neck, her fingers linking to draw him closer. A groan escaped him, swallowed up by her as she gave in to the intense ardor between them. She should say no, she should stop it right there, but she did not have the strength to do that; she did not have the strength to deny the emotions racing through her body. The heat and the potency of the kiss, the feel of his body against hers, his mouth on hers, his heart thudding against the thin t-shirt she had on. The kiss was spinning out of control, the temperature rising and climbing even further as the kiss deepened. Amber’s fingers wandered restlessly through the thickness of his dark hair, her body unconsciously seeking to get nearer to his as she moved against him restlessly. The kiss was endless and Adam felt as if he was drowning in a sea of passion that was carrying him along its crashing wake! He did not want to stop kissing her. He did not want it to end, but he knew that at some point he would have to take it further! He was afraid to stop, afraid that she would not want him to continue, afraid that if he stopped she would start talking about the reasons why this should not be happening between them! But she wrenched her mouth from his and pushed at his chest, forcing him to move a little. His silver eyes had darkened as he stared down at her parted lips, swollen from the passionate kiss. “Don’t!” he whispered achingly. “Please.”