To the Moon and Back

by Melissa Brayden

  Lauren took a minute to absorb Carly’s words because it was apparent how closely she held them. They heard voices of their castmates passing Lauren’s dressing room and for a moment, she thought they’d lose this important exchange.

  “I like you a lot, too. Maybe that’s part of what makes this all so scary. We’re in the midst of one of the biggest things that’s ever happened to me, but I’m confident it wouldn’t be nearly as gratifying if I wasn’t experiencing it with you.”

  Carly’s smile began small and then took over her entire face. “Do you really mean that?”

  “Of course, I do.” A kiss. Another one. Lauren laughed. “Did I mention I like you back?”

  “You just did. Your lips are so fucking kissable,” Carly murmured. “And when you wear autumn colors, I’m done. Everything about you makes my head spin in the best way. When you wear fall boots? I want to invest in a catalog company that specializes in them.” Lauren laughed again. Carly touched her chest and eased herself off Lauren until they were sitting side by side on even ground. “Thank you for talking me off the ledge. Even temporarily.”

  “Anytime, slugger.”

  “Is that a new nickname? Because I could really work with that. Hell, I’m so sexually frustrated that if you called me Clarence I’d be here for it.”

  “Decisions, decisions.” Lauren stood and offered Carly her hand. “Since we’re not able to tear each other’s clothes off quite yet, how about dinner instead? I know a pizza place with the craziest of crusts.”

  “Do they have red wine? I could use a glass.”

  “They do.” Lauren inclined her head to the door. “Let’s get outta here, Clarence.”

  Chapter Ten

  Ethan smiled at the company, who stood together on the apron of The McAllister’s main stage. It was close to eight p.m. and this was the last official moment of rehearsal. Lauren had been through a million of these moments, but never quite from where she sat now. She looked at Trip, who beamed up at her with pride from his spot at the SM’s table, and turned back to Ethan.

  “This is where I take my leave,” Ethan told the company. “I’ll be here for opening night, but as your cheerleader. The show is ready for the world, and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it affects the ticket holders who will file down these aisles tomorrow night. We’ve come a long way.” Lauren looked down the row of her castmates, from Carly standing next to her, to Kirby on the other side. TJ and Nia down the line. Her gratitude rose straight to the top.

  Yet a new chapter was going to start very soon.

  Lauren had planned to allow herself to sleep in the next day, so she’d be as fully rested as possible. Only that hadn’t gone as smoothly as planned since she’d tossed and turned all night, imagining herself forgetting her lines, getting locked in her dressing room, or, worse, losing her lunch all over the stage in front of the world. She would make up for it by drinking several tall glasses of water, advice she always gave her own actors.

  When she arrived at the theater for opening night, she took a moment in the parking lot to study the building that now meant so much more. As she made her way down the hall, she was greeted by friends and production staff, just as she would have been for any other opening night. Except instead of heading to her office for show prep, she walked to her dressing room. What was this life?

  “I got you these,” Tinsley said, from where she stood in front of Lauren’s dressing room. Lauren accepted the bouquet of red roses, too lavish for their friendship. Yet she knew Tinsley had a crush, and Lauren refused to be anything but graceful about it.

  “You are super sweet to have gone out of your way. Thank you.” With her free arm, she leaned in and hugged Tinsley, who smiled.

  “I just want you to know how amazing I think it is that you’ve done all of this. You’re the full package, Lauren.” A pause. “Could we do dinner before the show next week?”

  “Oh, I’m not sure I can.”

  Tinsley nodded. “Because you’re seeing Carly.”

  Lauren hesitated. She and Carly had not officially said as much to anyone, but they hadn’t exactly hidden it either. “Yes,” she said, finally.

  “I can respect that, I suppose. But, Lauren?”

  “Yes?”

  “She’s going to drop you once all of this is over. She’s Carly Daniel. Her world is huge. We’re different.”

  The implication was clear, and Tinsley was voicing a concern Lauren had tucked away in the back of her mind: Carly could get any girl or guy she wanted, and likely would.

  “Thanks, Tins. I appreciate the advice, but I can take care of myself.”

  “I know.” She shifted her weight to the other foot. “Sometimes, though, it can be hard to see it when you’re in the midst of it all, you know? Trust me on this. Don’t let yourself get hurt, okay?”

  “I won’t.”

  She let herself in to her dressing room and tried to shrug off the uncomfortable conversation and prediction. That’s not what today was about. She looked around her dressing room instead to find an embarrassment of riches in the form of good show gifts. Custom coffee mugs, ball caps, more flowers, and even a show hoodie. Her company had gone all out. She’d distribute her own gifts, small survival kits with a celestial theme, soon enough. In the corner of her dressing room, something large caught her eye. She tilted her head and studied the strange arrival: a shrink-wrapped pallet of boxes of some kind. Lauren dipped into her stage manager’s kit, always at the ready, grabbed a pocketknife, and tore through the wrap to spring open one of the boxes. What she found made her laugh out loud. Boxes and boxes of multicolored Post-its in all shapes. With her hands on her hips, she marveled at the volume. She’d not live long enough to use them all.

  “Has anyone ever expressed their preshow affection via office supplies before?” She turned to see Carly standing behind her, sporting a triumphant grin.

  “I can’t say they have. You’re definitely proving yourself to be memorable.”

  Carly wiped her brow to dramatically convey her relief. “Thank God. I can’t compete with red roses.” She pointed to the large arrangement. “I’ll just blend.”

  Lauren walked to Carly and wrapped her arms around her neck, not even bothering to close the door. “You couldn’t blend if you wanted to.”

  Carly looked skyward, pulling Lauren closer. “I feel like that’s a challenge. What did you get me? Tell me. I can’t take it.”

  Lauren pulled her face back. “You? Nothing at all. You’re rich and need no further material possessions.” Carly’s bottom lip emerged in a pout for the history books.

  “Don’t level the Daniel pout on me. That’s playing dirty.” More pouting. “I’m not made of stone.”

  “Then kiss me and give me a gift because I love gifts.” Carly looked so expectant in that moment that anyone would be an idiot not to fall for her immediately.

  Lauren touched Carly’s chin and offered her a slow kiss that she hoped communicated Good show. I find you very sexy. Break a leg. I could kiss you for days. Surely, she’d succeeded on all four counts. “Now, about that gift.”

  Carly grinned and clapped like a kid on her birthday. She went from beautiful to sweet to sophisticated to innocent and back again with such ease. The contradictions kept Lauren captivated. She went to her bag of survival kits and pulled out a separate gift that she’d wrapped up special for Carly.

  “I believe this is what you’re looking for,” she said and presented the rectangular present.

  Carly carried it to the couch, already enamored. “I was actually just kidding,” she said, sounding nervous. “You didn’t need to do anything special for me.”

  Lauren shrugged and sat next to her. “I wanted to.”

  The moment felt quiet, like the hubbub of the day had gone still for them for a few minutes. Carly unwrapped the gift and stared down at the inscribed frame that held a print of Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

  “Lauren,” Carly whispered achingly, running her hand down the mahogany
frame. That’s when she caught sight of the inscription. To the only other person I’d want to watch stars with. –L. Carly shook her head in wonder and then touched her heart. “This is an amazing gift. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say it goes with the décor in your home and that you’re not secretly scheming to ditch it in the deepest recesses of your garage. Which, of course, is very much your right.”

  Carly was still admiring the painting. “It’s going someplace special where I can see it each and every day.”

  “Really?” Lauren felt her heart reaching. She needed to be careful. Maybe because it felt like she’d climbed to a very precarious height? Things between her and Carly had started rocky but had steadily built to something she never in a million years would have predicted. Yet here she sat. Caring. Wanting. Reaching.

  “Really.” Carly kissed her softly. “I will treasure it.”

  “You smell amazing,” Lauren said. “How do you do that so consistently?”

  Carly laughed quietly as she stood. “Magical shampoo. All part of my plan to woo you. You better get ready for Froot Loops in the morning. I make a mean bowl.”

  “Post-it notes, magical shampoo, and Froot Loops. Who knew I was that easy?”

  “Easy?” Carly gasped. “I’m working overtime over here, killing myself in the name of the woo.”

  Lauren lowered her voice. “Do you want a tip? You don’t have to.”

  “What if I want to? What if I like doing things for you? Because I do. I love the way the sides of your mouth quirk up when I say something funny. Makes me want to be a permanent comedian, and I’m amusing at best.”

  Lauren’s chest swelled. She resisted the urge to place a hand over the pang. “Well, when you put it that way.” A pause. Her stomach fluttered. “So, will I see you…tonight? You know, after the show?” She tried to play it cool, but she still felt vulnerable when she put herself out there with Carly, almost as if she was asking the pretty girl to prom, if prom involved tearing each other’s clothes off, which, technically, it often did.

  “I certainly didn’t want to presume anything. But I hoped we might see where the night led. If it’s to one of our places, then that’s purely bonus. Plus, I need my Rocky IV fix at some point soon.”

  “That chubby little dog can’t get enough of you.”

  “It’s mutual. His tan curlicue tail alone is worthy of a visit.”

  Lauren studied Carly. She seemed herself, yet not. “How are you feeling about tonight?”

  Carly blinked several times, which was a total tell. Yep. She was in her head, and just as nervous as Lauren was. “I’m trying not to think about what’s going to happen in just a couple of hours. I spent the day buried in loud music to keep me from dwelling. My mind is a dangerous place.” She pointed to the dressing room around them. “I dashed in here as soon as I arrived, to distract myself. You have a remarkable way of doing just that for me.”

  “So, it sounds like you’re anxious.”

  “A basket case. You?”

  “Nervous in a good way.” She ducked her head and captured Carly’s gaze. “I think you’re going to be surprised by the energy you find coming back to you from the live exchange. There’s nothing like it.”

  “What if what comes back to me causes injury?” Carly looked entirely serious. “What if they throw things? I was thinking about that at three a.m. What if one of them just gets angry and pelts a cell phone at our heads.”

  Lauren smothered a smile. “I can safely say that in my entire career I’ve never had an audience member try to take down an actor.”

  Carly appeared morbidly serious. “Tonight could be that night, Lauren.” She looked around as if expecting ominous music.

  Lauren’s dresser, Maddie, arrived at her doorway with her act 1 costumes and a steamer. “Hey, there. All set for me?”

  “Yep,” Lauren said, swallowing her own fear. Maddie’s arrival signaled the official start of opening night. This would kick off her prep for the show, leaving little downtime before the curtain went up. She smiled at Carly, who offered a nervous smile back.

  “See you out there,” Carly said and gave her hand a squeeze.

  Lauren grinned back. “On the other side.”

  * * *

  “Actors, to the stage please. Places for act one.”

  Carly stared at the ceiling, glaring at Trip’s voice floating in through the sound system to her dressing room. She made no move to obey his request. She couldn’t. Her fear kept her glued to her chair, staring at her own seemingly distorted face in the mirror. Once she’d said good-bye to Lauren, she’d systematically come apart, realizing how ill-equipped she truly was. Even Lauren, who had been out of the acting game for a while now, was more prepared.

  Moments later, Janie arrived at Carly’s door, wearing her headset. “Hey, Carly? We’re ready for you onstage. It’s time.”

  Carly gripped the edge of the dressing table so hard she thought she might snap her fingers. Yet she couldn’t seem to let go. “I’m not ready,” she said quietly.

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you,” Janie said. Carly couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything except the dark waves of Janie’s hair and the clear plastic framed glasses she wore that seemed to be so trendy now. She had a vanity pair of her own.

  She tried again. “I need a minute.”

  “Okay.” Janie watched her for a moment, her brows low and her lips pinched. “I’ll let Trip know.”

  Carly was delaying their open of show, yet there was nothing she could do about it. She could hear Janie in the hall speaking in a hushed tone into her headset. Carly’s shoulders ached with tension, her skin felt cold and clammy, and her brain wouldn’t slow down for even a moment.

  Trip appeared a moment later, his eyes wide. His hair seemed to be spelling out some sort of distress code with its various trajectories. Perhaps: run. “You feeling a little on edge, Car?” he asked, pushing a friendly smile.

  Carly nodded. Trip was a nice guy. He might know what to do here, help her find the confidence she’d lost an hour ago. Or even more preferable, he’d just let her leave.

  “I don’t actually think I can do this,” she confessed.

  “I know it feels like a lot of pressure, but honestly? If you went out on that stage and gave half the performance you turned in on our last rehearsal, those people are going to love it.”

  He was flattering her for the sake of the show. She didn’t fault him. Trip was executing his duties as PSM to perfection, dealing with the broken actress, attempting to wind her up and make her go. “How am I supposed to get out of my own head, though?”

  “How about we take a few deep breaths?”

  “How about I head back to California, and you put Nia onstage in my place?”

  Trip’s eyes went wide, which was probably high alert in stage management land. It all seemed so overwhelming now, and she thought back to the time she’d scoffed at Alika for bringing her this project when she felt so far beyond stage work.

  “Guys, can I have the room?” The even-keeled voice was instantly familiar. Carly craned her neck around Trip to see Lauren in costume and makeup for act 1. That’s when she found the air again.

  “Definitely,” Trip said. He exchanged a look with Lauren, snagged Janie, and was out of there. When the door clicked closed, Lauren turned to Carly.

  “What you’re feeling is totally normal.”

  Carly nodded, her heart rate easing. “Maybe. I just keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong. We can’t just yell Cut! and start again, you know?”

  “We should just go get crazy crust pizza.” Lauren smiled as if the thought alone sent her to heaven. “I’d get extra mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, basil, and maybe some sliced meatball on top. God, that sounds amazing.” It was the most random of statements, but the way Lauren described the pizza, Carly could almost smell the pies baking. “Should we go?”

  Carly took a slow inhale and smiled. “Maybe. I’d love to watch you maneuve
r all that cheese.”

  “Because cheese and I have a sinful love affair I will not apologize for. Give me a minute to get changed, and I’m all yours.”

  Apparently talking casually about pizza, of all things, with Lauren was just what Carly needed. She stood. “Let’s do a show first.”

  “Or that.” Lauren shrugged nonchalantly, like she could take it or leave it. “Means we get to kiss in just a little while. I guess we could do pizza later.”

  “The extra cheesy kind.”

  “Strings of cheese for days,” Lauren said. She glanced at the door. “We’re doing this?”

  Carly nodded, finding the floor had returned beneath her feet. “Let’s give them the show they came for.” She took a deep, centering breath, as she got her head on straight.

  Moments later, she stood in the wings, listening to the recorded preshow announcement, as every part of her shook. She turned to Lauren, met her gaze, and received a squeeze from their joined hands. She smiled and let it all fall away. Lauren made her entrance, and Carly watched her sweetly argue with TJ, the gate attendant, about missing the flight. To her surprise, lines she’d heard spoken a million times were greeted with laughter. Whoa. The audience was actually enjoying their show. She stood a little taller, eager to get out there and participate. Her dresser handed her Ashley’s attaché, and she made her entrance with purpose. When she appeared onstage, the audience applauded. Entrance applause because she was famous. Lauren told her this might happen. She paused until it died down and delivered her first line. Ashley was on a mission and so was she.

  For Carly, the performance alternated between racing past, and plodding in slow motion. Lauren had been correct. Carly felt the energy from the audience, and it gave her life. The connection between all of them in that room, experiencing the same story beneath the same roof, was overpowering. She understood midway through, that live performance could easily become an addiction, like the best kind of drug. She loved the screen, but the theater was instantaneously rewarding.