by J E McDonald
Before I know what is happening, I am lifted off the couch by the collar of my t-shirt.
Michael Crane is a big man, 6’4 of lean muscle. I look exactly like him, I hate that. Brown hair, green eyes and strong jawline. I am 6’2 but those two inches wouldn’t stop me from ironing him out. I am about to head-butt this prick right in the fucking face when I hear Jack’s voice.
“Michael, get the fuck off him!” Jack is shouting, his voice deep and strong like mine. He doesn’t flinch when dad turns on him.
“What did you just call me? I am your father, have some respect! You call me dad and nothing fucking else!” He snarls at Jack. I am going to smash his face repeatedly into the coffee table, nobody talks to my brother like that!
“Dad?! Are you taking the piss?! You dropped us like a tonne of bricks two years ago for some knocked up teenager. You’re not my fucking dad! And respect is earned, what have you done to deserve it?” At this moment I could kiss him. I could literally pick Jack up and kiss him. He has just shut this arsehole down in five seconds flat. Proud is an understatement.
“What are you sniggering at?!” That steel glare is back on me “Whilst you both live under my roof you will abide by my rules and treat me and Casey with respect! You will both attend the schools you are enrolled into, that is final.” Michael is breathless from his angry little speech; I want to laugh in his face. I am about to give him shit when Jack grabs my wrist and gives me a look that silences me.
*
“Fuck it, this might be a good thing, I will just go and live in the dorms at Columbia, saves me from living in this fucking asylum.” I am sat on the bed in Jack’s bedroom, it’s the exact same as mine but opposite, where my walls and floors are grey, his are blue, the furniture is the same, but his bedding is grey.
“Absolutely not! You are not leaving me here alone with them two! I can’t live at school, so I don’t have that option! Go to classes and then come home with me, I am stuck here because of you, so you owe me!” Jack half shouts at me, he is serious. Again, the kid is right, I can’t leave him here. This is my fault and he might murder them in their sleep. If anyone is doing time in this family, it will be me. Jack is the good boy.
Chapter Thirteen - Nathan
It’s Friday night and I am sat in some random dorm room in Columbia. I don’t start classes properly until Monday, but I had to get out of that asylum of a house.
Michael gave me the keys to an all-black, Mercedes G class G500. He’s trying to buy me. Gobshite.
To be fair, it is a nice car, messed with my head a little bit at first driving on the wrong side of the fucking road, but I got the hang of it.
Jack is livid, like genuinely fucking livid.
“Why do you get a beast of a car for being a twat, and I don’t get one? How is that fair?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him, he sat in the passenger seat, sulking like a baby.
“You’re only seventeen kid, you can’t drive yet! I’m sure you will get one, once you’ve got your licence.” I tried to pacify him. Instead he climbed out the car, called me a ‘prick’ under his breath and stormed into the house.
*
I drove around for a little while, not really knowing where I was going, so I googled the address of the Columbia campus on my new American iPhone, typed it into the Sat Nav and somehow ended up sat in this room. Every time some dweeb in a sweater vest tries to talk to me, I just glare at them and drink whatever is in this red cup I was given on the way in. I’ve never called anyone a ‘dweeb’ before, but I heard someone say it earlier and it made me laugh.
“What up man?” A boy about my height with blonde hair in a top knot speaks to me. I’m about to tell him to fuck off when I take a good look at him. He’s wearing black skinny jeans, black lace up boots, a Metallica t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket. He’s got a small bruise on his throat, the kind made by lips sucking on the skin. He’s got a joint in his hand and a smirk on his face. He actually looks normal, in comparison to these dweebs in sweater vests.
“Alright?” I respond.
“What is that accent?” He’s intrigued.
“English, you?”
“Brooklyn” this lad doesn’t seem so bad. He’s got a look in his eyes, the same one I’ve got, that tells me he’s a little fucker like me. I might have made a mate here.
He sits down next to me on the bed and hands me the joint.
“So how come you’re here?” Another question.
“Columbia University or New York?” I’m not telling him shit, he will know what I want him to know.
“Both I suppose? I got a scholarship to come here, so I couldn’t turn it down, I was getting into some shit at home, so this is an escape I guess.” The lad is telling me too much information here, have I given him the impression I give a shit about his life?
“Same sort of thing really, but I never got a scholarship, my dad has got a fucking wing here or something, so I guess money talks” I’m bored of this conversation now, but his weed is good, so I’ll tolerate him.
“Your folks millionaires like everyone else here then?” he’s asking too many questions; I will punch him in the throat.
“I wouldn’t call a sperm donor ‘folks’ and you ask too many questions” I look directly at him. He looks back at me for a second then looks to my hand and takes the joint.
That’s right dickhead, I’m not some little pussy like the rest of these muppets.
He takes the hint and stops quizzing me. He starts babbling about how easy the girls are here when I see a flash of yellow in the corner of my eye. The colour throws me as everyone I have seen so far is wearing black or grey. I look up and see a girl, about my age, standing in the doorway. She is about 5’5 with tanned, toned legs, decent boobs and long blonde curly hair. Her face is pretty, full pink lips, a slender nose and blue eyes. I look her up and down again, she’s not just pretty, she is sexy as fuck. She also stands out from everyone else, because she is not like everyone else here. Her style, the way she holds herself, the facial expression. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she was English like me.
“What’s your name?” I ask top knot next to me.
“Jason, but you can call me Jay, you?” His voice sounds a little groggy from the joint.
“Nathan, and you can call me Nathan. Who is that bird in the yellow?” I ask him without taking my eyes off of her.
“Bird?” He genuinely sounds confused. I forget where I am. He’s American, he doesn’t know my English slang.
“Bird means girl, back home. Do you know who she is?” I ask again.
“I think her name is Shelly or Ellie, I slept with her roommate last night, and then again this morning.” he chuckles to himself.
As I look back over at Shelly or Ellie, her eyes are on me. The hair on the back of my neck stands up, Goosebumps rise on my arms and I get a little twinge in my crotch. Weird.
I must freak her out by staring at her for too long because she turns around and walks out the room. I consider going after her but I’m not a creep who chases girls I don’t know.
Chapter Fourteen - Ellie
I have wandered around the different rooms for almost two hours now. I feel so out of place. Back in England I didn’t fit in, but I could almost blend in. Here, I stick out like a sore thumb. This is not who I am, I don’t drink, especially not upside down from a keg. I don’t sleep with random boys, definitely not in open rooms with people watching and videoing it.
I lean against the door frame of one room that doesn’t seem as rowdy as the others, this must be the stoner room, the air smells of cannabis. As I look around the room, I see the boy from this morning and the library, sitting on the bed. Next to him is another boy I’ve never seen before. He stands out from everyone else here. He’s sitting down but I can tell he is tall. He’s wearing a black tracksuit, it looks expensive, with a white t-shirt underneath. Black and white trainers that also look expensive, designer I’m certain. His hair is short brown, slightly curly, it looks so
soft and his skin is tanned. His lips are pouty, pink and full, and his nose slender. He is the most attractive boy I have ever seen. He must feel my eyes burning into him, because he looks over at me.
I almost freeze in my place, and I can’t look away.
His eyes are blazing emerald green. My knees almost buckle, if I wasn’t leaning against the door, I swear I would fall. I’ve never had this reaction to someone before. I feel my skin heat under his gaze. My heart is racing, and my hands shake. I actually think I am developing butterflies in my stomach. What is happening to me? I feel so embarrassed I practically run from the room.
Over the next few days, I find myself looking for the green-eyed boy as I familiarise myself with the grounds, but he doesn’t seem to be around, maybe he doesn’t live on campus.
Chapter Fifteen - Nathan
It’s Sunday night, 11:25pm, and I can’t sleep. I start Columbia tomorrow morning. I won’t admit it to anyone but I’m a little excited. Not about starting university but about possibly seeing the blonde girl again. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for two days. I’ve slept with a lot of girls in the past few years, losing your virginity at fourteen to a nineteen-year-old girl, means your innocence has pretty much gone from a young age. Considering the company I keep, sex and drugs is the normal. Every weekend and most weeknights if I’m being honest, I get high, drunk and fuck a random girl.
Ryan was the same. Once he bought his flat and I moved in, this is what we did every night. We would bring girls back to the flat, have a party and then go into our separate rooms and have sex with whichever girl we fancied. Honestly girls usually throw themselves at me, I don’t even have to try.
I suppose I am a good-looking lad, with a swinging brick for a heart, and that seems to be most girls type.
Ryan was good-looking too, the opposite of me, he was blonde with brown eyes, but the girls flocked to him as well. I miss my wing-man.
After another half an hour of tossing and turning, I go in search of the kitchen.
“What are you doing up?” Jack is sitting in the living room watching some cheesy musical. “And what the fuck are you watching?”
“I couldn’t sleep with Matthew crying, it’s called the greatest showman, it’s actually quite good.” Jack doesn’t even look at me when he responds, he’s glued to the movie. As I sit down on the sofa opposite him, I realise he’s not alone. Lying with his head on his lap, drinking a bottle of milk, is Matthew.
Matthew is our two-year-old brother. He is also the main reason dad left us for Casey, she was pregnant with the Rugrat.
“Why is the brat sitting with you?” I can’t hide the bitterness in my voice.
“Michael and slutty have gone to some charity event for the hospital, the kid was screaming in his cot, I couldn’t just leave him.” Jack shrugs his shoulders. He does that a lot. “Besides he’s our brother Nathan, regardless of who his mother is, he’s not to blame for his parent’s mistakes.” I don’t know what to say to that. I feel like total shit. Since when does my younger brother school me?
“When did you get so wise ay?” I chuckle.
“I always have been, you just haven’t been around much,” Jack says matter-of-factly.
“I suppose, I haven’t been around much, have I? I was too busy partying and fucking.” Jack looks at me and smirks. He strokes Matthew’s hair and the little boy falls asleep.
“Do you think he knows who we are to him?” I surprise myself by genuinely being curious about the toddler.
“Yeah definitely, when I went into his room to see why he was crying, he put his arms out for me to pick him up, and cuddled into my chest, he knows I’m his brother, he can sense it.” Jack stares at the boy, is that brotherly love I can see? He’s looking at him how he looks at me. How he looked at Ryan.
“Sense it? He’s not a dog!” I chuckle, lightening the mood.
“You know what I mean Nay, he just knows.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
Chapter Sixteen - Nathan
The kitchen in this house is huge, all gold appliances and marble surfaces. I start to pour myself a bowl of cereal, I don’t know what the fuck they are, they look like chocolate balls, when some man I’ve never seen before strolls into the kitchen.
“Hey, you must be Nathan, my name is Chris, I’m the cook” he smiles at me. You have got to be kidding me, a personal fucking chef!
Sticking to my arsehole tendencies, I don’t respond to Chris, I just look right through him.
“Not as pleasant as your brother it seems, do you want eggs?”
Cheeky bastard.
“No, I don’t want eggs, I can cook my own shit.”
“Suit yourself, enjoy your cold cereal” he turns and strolls back out of the kitchen. I want to follow him and throw the box of chocolate balls at his head.
“Are you ready to drop me off at school?” Jack comes into the kitchen wearing a school uniform. It’s actually not much different to his uniform at home.
“What did you say to Chris by the way?”
“Nothing, just that I can cook my own shit” I eat a mouthful of the cereal.
“You can hate dad and slutty, without hating the entire world you know!” Jack laughs.
“It’s not a conscious effort to hate the world, I just generally don’t like people” I grin at Jack as he rolls his eyes at me.
I drop Jack off at the gate of some expensive looking school, it looks like something out of Harry Potter. And I thought Columbia was fancy.
*
The first few hours of the day are total shit. I am genuinely fucking bored. The girls all look at me when I pass them in the hallways. Nothing new there. Different country but same shit. I make a mental note of the girls I’m going to sleep with as the weeks go on. I don’t see the blue-eyed blondie anywhere.
I take a seat in my last class of the day, English literature. I’m actually looking forward to this class. I might not look like the type of man who reads novels, considering I’m a twat, but I do enjoy reading, it gets me out of my own head. Ryan always gave me shit for it. He found a copy of catch 22 once under my pillow and took the piss out of me for hours. When I walked into his room weeks later and found him reading the same book himself, I snatched it off him and hit him across the head with it.
Five minutes into the lecture, the classroom door swings open and a girl stumbles in apologising for being late. It’s her, the fit girl from the party. She takes a seat in the row below me and makes minimum noise as she gets her notepad and pen out of her bag.
I can’t stop staring at her.
What the fuck is wrong with me? She is just another girl.
I need to have sex asap. That is what’s wrong with me, I’m just horny, it’s been a few weeks.
For the entire lesson she fidgets uncomfortably in her seat, I wonder if it’s because she can feel my eyes burning into her? Her legs, chest, face.
The professor announces the end of the lesson, and I realise I don’t know what the fuck him or anyone else has said for a full hour. I’ve literally gazed at this girl like a fucking creep.
As everyone walks out of the lesson, I’m about to make some type of conversation with blondie, anything just to speak to her when the professor shouts.
“Nathan, a word.” Fuck.
“Yeah?” I’m itching to get out of this room.
“I understand you’re an international student, so we do things a little different here than back in England, but I do require your full attention for at least half an hour of my lessons, daydreaming will not help you pass this course.” Professor Rhodes is amused. Did he see me staring at that girl like a melt all lesson?
Shit!
“Yeah, sorry about that, won’t happen again.” I will say anything to get out of this class. As I turn to leave, he calls me again.
“Nathan, I assume you didn’t take notes of what your assignment and chosen novel will be?” With that he smiles and hands me the notes from the class. I suppose h
e’s not too bad.
I need to find blondie, or just a girl, any girl, now.
Chapter Seventeen - Ellie
I sense his presence before I actually see him. It’s like a beacon goes off in my head whenever I am close to him.
This is crazy, I’ve never even spoken to him.
I am so attracted to him; it feels like there is electric currents running through my body. I take my seat in English literature, late, which is not something I am used to. I still get a little lost here, it’s only been two weeks.
I know he’s staring at me; I can feel his eyes on me, burning into my skin. I want to turn around and look back at him but I’m too shy. I do not understand my reaction to him, I’ve never felt anything like this before. How can I have such a strong attraction to somebody I have technically never met.
The one-hour lesson passes slowly. I am itching to get out of this classroom, I can’t concentrate. I love this class, it’s basically the reason I am here, majoring in English, but I can’t stop thinking about green eyes behind me.
As the professor dismisses us, I grab my belongings and head straight for the door, as I walk out, I hear Professor Rhodes say.
“Nathan, a word?”
Intrigued I linger by the door and watch as green eyes approaches the professor’s desk. His name is Nathan, finally I can put a name to the face. He suits it.
“Yeah, sorry about that, won’t happen again.” Nathan says in a deep English accent. He is English, and if I’m not mistaken, he is from London. Some-how I knew that he would be. It’s just the way he carries himself, confidence oozes from him. And his style, the way he dresses, reminds me of the boys back home. The fact that he is English, like me, only makes me more interested in him.