by J E McDonald
What a small world, how is it we both happen to be from the same side of the pond, have never met, yet ended up being enrolled into Columbia, at the same time?
I hear a ruffle of papers which breaks me out of my trance, when I glance back into the classroom, I see Nathan retrieving what looks like notes from the professor and turning to leave the classroom. I don’t know why, but I practically run down the corridor, away from Nathan.
Chapter Eighteen – Ellie
The next week goes by in a blur. Classes and study sessions in the library seem to blend into one. I don’t see Nathan for the rest of the week. I wonder what classes he is taking alongside English. It’s clear we don’t have any other classes together; I am slightly disappointed by this.
Sienna told me there will be a party tomorrow night, I wasn’t going to go this time, but the chance of seeing beautiful Nathan again gives me a little thrill.
*
I’m standing in my room, wrapped in a towel, staring into my wardrobe. I can’t decide what to wear.
“Hey Sugar, you should at-least dry your hair, we need to leave soon” Sienna enters our room. She is wearing skin-tight, black faux leather leggings, a black lace bustier body suit and strappy heels. She looks hot. Now I definitely don’t know what to wear. I don’t own anything like that.
“I don’t think I am going to go; I don’t have anything to wear. I mean look at you, you look hot” I whine at Sienna.
“Obviously you have something to wear, look at your closet. You don’t have to dress like me, just be yourself.” Sienna smiles and walks over to my wardrobe. She pulls out a lipstick pink, one-shoulder ruffled cotton dress. I bought it just before I flew out to New York, it was an impulse buy.
“Really? You think I should wear this?” I ask her.
“Yeah, it is really pretty, and you can borrow my gold strappy heels” Sienna says to me through her dressing table mirror. She applies a deep, red lipstick to her lips.
“Now hurry, we need to leave in like 30 minutes, we have to get to the ‘Fat Cat’ before Jason’s band starts” Sienna is growing increasingly impatient with me.
“What? I thought we was just going to another dorm party? Who is Jason?” I am nervous. I can’t go to a nightclub, I’m not old enough, you have to be twenty-one to go to clubs in America. I also don’t know how I feel about leaving campus either.
“Jason is the guy I um... You know from the other day? Well, he has a band, apparently, they are supposed to be good. Ellie, stop looking so worried, your eighteen, live while you’re young and pretty.” Sienna hands me her shoes, as I pull the zip up on my dress. She takes my hairdryer and starts to blow-dry my hair. Although I am nervous, I am excited. I think after our rocky start; I could potentially be friends with Sienna. We are so different, but she’s nice and also right. I need to start living my life and letting go.
“So how do we get into this club? I mean we aren’t old enough right?” I ask Sienna as we head out to the taxi.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, the security won’t check I.D or anything, we will tell them we are there to see the band!” Sienna tells me as she texts on her phone.
Twenty minutes later we are standing at the bar ordering our drinks, it was surprisingly easy to get inside. The Band starts, Sienna was right, they are good.
Four Gin and tonics later and I feel a little tipsy. Okay, I feel drunk. I don’t usually drink, and the gin has gone straight to my head. The club is packed, and the band are in full swing. They are really good, they remind of The Kooks, but obviously an American version. Sienna leans into me and tells me she is going to the bathroom; she will be back in two minutes and not to go anywhere. I have no intention of going anywhere alone so I take a seat on a bar stool.
I am about to order a water when I feel a tap on my shoulder and hear a voice as smooth as honey in my ear.
“Hi, I’m Nathan, you were at that party last week, and in my English class.” The beautiful boy with green eyes looks me up and down and then smiles at me. I feel like someone has picked me up and dropped me in a volcano. My skin is burning. How can he have this effect on me? I don’t even know him.
After a few seconds of blatantly staring at him, I find my voice.
“Hi, I’m Ellie, Yeah I think I remember you.” Lies Ellie, you definitely remember him. You have been dreaming about his mouth for a week…
“Wait, are you from London?” Nathan asks.
“Um, Yeah.” Why Do I feel so nervous?
“Fuck off, how strange? so am I” Nathan laughs and smirks at me.
Dear god, that smirk should be against the law. If he wasn’t standing so close to me, I would probably melt into a puddle on the floor.
“Oh right, why is that strange?” I feel like a nervous wreck.
“Because we are both English, I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone English here.” Nathan’s eyes turn a darker shade of emerald. Like it’s even possible for him to get any more attractive.
“Funny how we’ve never met back home, ay.” When he speaks, he looks directly into my eyes. I can’t look away; I feel hypnotised by him. I am about to answer him back when Sienna comes to my side. I didn’t even see her approaching me.
“Who is the hottie?” This girl has zero shame.
“Out of your league girl.” Nathan says to Sienna. I gasp in shock at his outright rudeness, but I also secretly like it. I can’t stop the giggle that escapes my mouth.
Nathan looks at me and giggles himself. As he turns to leave, he tells me he will see me around and disappears into the crowd. I hope deep down I do see him around.
“Okay, rude!” Sienna is outraged, is he the first man to ever reject her?
Chapter Nineteen – Nathan
I’m lying across my bed reading ‘Jane Eyre’ it’s the novel we’ve been assigned in class. It’s actually not bad, a little dark, but that’s pretty much up my street. My phone buzzes next to me and I notice a text message flash on the screen. It’s from top knot, I think his name was Jason. He is inviting me to his gig tonight at the ‘Fat Cat’. I forgot I gave him my number. I consider ignoring it when I realise the alternative is sitting on this bed all night reading Charlotte Bronte.
Fifteen minutes later I am in my car, following the Sat-Nav to the bar he is playing at.
I walk in and the heat hits me, its sweaty and crowded. I feel claustrophobic. I walk up to the bar to order a water; the band is already playing. As I take a sip of my water, I look around, and I see her. Blondie is sitting by herself at the other end of the bar. Why is she by herself in a bar? Before I know what I’m doing, I am walking up to her and tapping her on the shoulder.
She is so easy to talk too, like I’ve known her all my life. She seems a little nervous, but not enough to make it awkward. The conversation is flowing and in between pauses I sneak little glances at her body. She is gorgeous. I actually feel a little nervous around her myself, which is uncharted territory for me. People usually bore me, not intrigue me.
Just as the conversation is starting to flow, a girl with an annoying accent approaches and calls me hot or something. I look her up and down. She’s got a banging body, dressed a little bit slutty and is looking at me like she wants to eat me alive. This is clearly the roommate that Jason slept with. Well she won’t be opening her legs for me; I like my women to have at least a little bit of class about them. I also have a rule; I don’t sleep with girls my mates have slept with. I don’t do sloppy seconds. I tell her I’m out of her league and walk off. I’m pissed off she interrupted me with gorgeous face.
I nod my head as a goodbye to Jason, who is still on stage and head outside to my car, if I can’t talk to Ellie on our own without the southern belle in earshot, I’d rather go home.
*
“You’re home early, was the band that bad?” Jack asks from the sofa; he’s sitting with Matthew again.
“They were actually good, a bit like the kooks.” I answer him as I sit down next to him and the kid.
“How come you’re sitting with him again, are you like a glorified babysitter now?” I ask sarcastically as Matthew crawls across the sofa and snuggles into my side. I almost flinch away but then I relax. I suppose he is my brother too.
“Dad has gone to another event thing, so I said I’d watch him, it was either that or they call the nanny, and I’d rather have the house to ourselves.” Jack replies.
“You not tired little man?” I ask the toddler, not really expecting a response.
Can two-year olds talk?
“No, Cartoons?” Matthew says in a babyish mumble, whilst bouncing on the spot and throwing his arms around my neck. I look at Jack in mock horror and he just shrugs and laughs at me.
“Sure kid.” I say and put the cartoon channel on the television.
We sit like this for what feels like hours, myself and Jack slouching on the couch, Matthew snuggled into my side, watching shit cartoons. I consider carrying Matthew up to his bed when I hear the clicking of heels on the floor. Before I can move, my dad and slutty walk into the living room, the look of shock on both their faces is evident. They didn’t expect to see me actually bonding with the toddler. I have been bitter towards him since before he was even born. I push down the guilt I feel. From now on I will make a conscious effort with him. Like Jack said, it’s not his fault who his mother is.
“You boys okay? Shall I order food?” dad asks us when he gets over the initial shock.
At that I get up and head out of the room towards the stairs. Jack says no thanks for the both of us and follows behind me carrying Matthew. I walk into my room and close my door as Jack puts a now sleeping Matthew to bed, before heading into his own room.
Chapter Twenty – Ellie
I walk into English Literature and my heart starts to race, Nathan is in his usual seat, he looks up at me the second I enter the class. Can he sense my presence like I can his? Don’t be stupid Ellie.
As I reach my seat and take off my jacket, I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“So, I never got your number the other night?” Nathan’s voice is so deep. It does things to me.
“you didn’t ask for it.” I say matter-of-factly. I need to up my flirt game, I like this boy and I won’t get anywhere being a squirming mess.
Nathan grins, revealing the most perfect, white teeth. Wow.
“No, I guess I didn’t, sorry for just getting off the way I did, no offence but your friend is annoying.” He giggles, it’s the loveliest sound. Get a grip Ellie.
“She isn’t exactly my friend, well not yet anyway, we are still getting to know each-other, she’s nice though.” I don’t really know why I am defending Sienna, but she has been nice to me lately.
“I’ll take your word for it, so can I have your number then?” Nathan smirks at me. That smirk again. I can’t handle it.
“yeah, pass me your phone, I’ll save it for you.” my hand shakes slightly as I take his phone and I silently curse myself. I save my number into his phone and hand it back.
Just as he is about to speak again, Professor Rhodes voice echoes through the classroom.
“Lovebirds, flirt on your own time, Miss Regan, eyes at the front of the class please.” I am mortified. I turn in my seat blushing what I am guessing is a lovely shade of crimson.
“Can you blame me? Have you seen her face?” Nathan laughs from behind me. My cheeks heat further.
“Yes Nathan, Ellie is very pretty, now let’s discuss Jane Eyre.”
The class all laugh, and I sink into my chair, wishing the floor would swallow me whole.
As the class finishes, I gather my things and start to walk out of the room when Nathan catches up to me.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to embarrass you before.” He seems concerned.
“Oh, don’t worry, you didn’t embarrass me that much, only a little bit.” I say in jest.
“So, will you let me take you on a date? I don’t know many places in New York yet, but I’m sure we will find somewhere.” He throws me by how confident he is. I take a good look at him and then throw that thought out of my mind. Obviously he is going to be confident, he looks like a Greek Adonis.
“Um, yeah sure, when did you want to go out?” I say nonchalantly. I want to come across cool and breezy, not the squirming mess I become with every glance at his perfect face. It has the opposite effect.
“Don’t sound too excited!” he laughs, but he seems a little disappointed. Maybe he is used to girls dropping at his feet. The way I secretly want to.
“I am! Just text me when and where.” I giggle.
“No need, Friday at 7pm, I’ll pick you up at the gates.”
“Oh, so you don’t live on campus?” I ask him, I think deep down I already knew this.
“No, I live with my dad. Wear a dress, so I can see them sexy legs again.” With that he strolls off in the opposite direction. I pick my jaw up off the floor and dash through campus towards my dorm.
Chapter Twenty-One – Nathan and Ellie
“Can I have a word, son?” My dad says from my bedroom door.
“No.” I’m not in the mood for him today. He walks into my room and sits on the end of my bed.
“No, is not an invitation to come in and sit down.” the audacity of this fella.
“Look, I know you and Ryan was close, and I’m sorry for what happened to him. I guess, I’m just trying to understand. Why would you get involved with people like that? I have always supported your mum and you boys, I put you all in private schools, you had a good upbringing Nathan.”
I am seething, how fucking dare he even speak about Ryan! And he has the bare-faced cheek to throw his money in my face! This prick, who left his family for some little tramp!
“Are you actually serious? How dare you talk about Ryan like that! You practically brought him up and you didn’t even show up at his funeral! And you sit there and throw your money in my face? You think financial support excuses abandonment? Get the fuck out!” I scream at him until my voice goes hoarse. My heart is pounding, and my hands are shaking. I literally want to smash his face in.
“Nathan, I didn’t mean it like that! You twist everything I say! I meant the gangs you and Ryan were both involved in! I loved Ryan like another son, I couldn’t bury him, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to support you, but a parent should never have to bury a child. I couldn’t face it! And I am not throwing money in your face, everything I have, it’s yours and Jack’s too! I never stopped loving you, I just fell out of love with your mother.” Mike Crane sits on the edge of my bed, defeated. I’ve never seen my dad like this. He has always been stern, strong, even arrogant at times. But never...broken.
“I don’t need your pity or guilt, whether you loved mum or not, you packed your shit, took your slut, and fucked off to the other side of the world! It’s all too little too late, Dad!” I sneer at him. His sad, pathetic face just fuels my anger. And once I start, I can’t stop.
“You want to know why Ryan and I got involved with the streets? because of you! You just left us! So, we did the one thing you would hate, we surrounded ourselves with people you would turn your nose up at! So, you know what? I blame you, for everything, including Ryan’s murder!” I snarl, and if he didn’t look broken before, he does now. I almost feel guilty.
“Nathan, I…I’m so sorry! I didn’t consider the consequences or the effect it would have on you if I left. I was selfish, I just thought about what I wanted, I didn’t think about you boys. I know that’s harsh, but I’m just being honest. I swear if I had known how bad things were, how deep you both was in, I would of flew all three of you out here sooner.”
“Yeah but you didn’t, because that would have meant actually picking up a phone or coming home once in a while! Putting money in my account doesn’t substitute being a father! I never wanted money; I wanted my dad! Don’t you think Ryan had been abandoned enough? His own fucking mother left him! We were all he had! And you just left! You selfish prick! Was that slut worth losing your family for?” The venom continu
es to pour from my mouth. I can’t stop it.
“Don’t speak about Casey like that, I know you’re angry, upset, but it’s not her fault, she is a good person, Nathan. And you can’t make me feel worse than I already do, I know what I did, but I can’t take it back, I can only try to make up for it now!” He pleads.
“How are you making up for it? Can your billions bring Ryan back from the fucking dead?!” I snap.
“Well, no, but I can stop the same happening to you and Jack, I can keep you both safe. Please try and forgive me Nathan, I am really trying.” He practically begs me. I don’t answer, with my silence he gets up to leave my room.
“And it is Casey’s fault, don’t ever defend her to me, you left us for her!” He doesn’t even respond; he just sags his shoulders and walks out.
I am practically vibrating with rage; I need to get out of this house. Before I even know what I am doing, I call Ellie. She picks up on the second ring. I tell her to get dressed because I am picking her up.
Twenty minutes later she is climbing into my car.
“Hi, you okay? Sorry it’s short notice I just wanted to get out for a bit.” I start explaining myself. I never explain my actions to anyone, but I feel the need to with this girl. This girl I hardly know.
“Hey, I’m okay thanks, are you? And don’t worry I’m glad you called, I was surprised, but glad,” she smiles at me and I feel all my anger evaporating. Some-how she calms me, the way Jack does.
“Is there anywhere you want to go? Like I said, I don’t know many places yet.” My palms become sweaty; I didn’t think this through.