by J E McDonald
“You can sleep in the bed; I’ll sleep on the floor.” I tell Ellie. Pretending I am somewhat a gentleman, I will be climbing in next to her later, pretending I can’t sleep.
“Nathan, don’t be ridiculous, sleep in the bed with me.” She says as she pulls the quilt cover back. YES!
I pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it on the chair next to my dresser, step out of my bottoms and climb into bed, wearing just my boxers.
Ellie surprises me my taking her bottoms off as well, she climbs into bed wearing just my t-shirt and her underwear.
She looks delicious. My boxers become very tight.
I pull Ellie into my arms and she squeals with surprise. As I start to kiss her, she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.
I can feel myself growing.
I reach my hand up under the front of her t-shirt and squeeze her breast. Perfect.
“Nathan, I, Um, I’m not ready to…I haven’t…” Ellie starts stuttering and tenses underneath me. Shit, I’ve gone too far.
“Baby, it’s okay. I know you’re a virgin, I wasn’t trying to pressure you, I just can’t seem to restrain myself completely when I’m with you, I’m sorry.” Now I’m the stuttering mess.
“You know?” Ellie blanches.
“Well yeah, I guessed. You squirm whenever I say dirty things to you; and you blush constantly.” I explain. I feel like a prick; I just keep putting my foot in my mouth.
“Are you okay with it? You know, that I haven’t, um, before? I mean we can do stuff. If you want? I’m just not ready for that, yet.” She is stuttering again. I kiss her on the nose and mouth, trying to calm her.
“I am more than okay with it; you are all mine. And we will definitely be doing, stuff.” I say as I kiss her neck and jaw.
She moans lightly, and I nearly combust. I bring my lips back to her mouth and tighten my arm around her, the kiss is so intense. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. I reach my hand down into her underwear and she stiffens for a few seconds before continuing to kiss me.
I break away to look at her, her eyes flutter open and she stares back at me.
“Ellie, I love you.”
“I love you, Nathan. I’ve never been in love before, but I am in love with you.”
Chapter Thirty – Ellie
I wake to find Nathan’s strong arm wrapped around my waist, his long legs tangled with mine, and his light breath against my neck. I try not to move so I don’t disturb him, I want to bask in this pure bliss for a little longer. I don’t remember ever being this happy.
Nathan told me he loved me last night. He also made fireworks go off in my head with his fingers…
I told him I loved him, and I meant it from the bottom of my soul. I never thought I would fall in love, or that anyone would ever fall in love with me. I almost pinch myself to make sure this is real. I am lying in bed with the most perfect man wrapped around me. I can’t believe how lucky I am.
“Morning Beautiful.” Nathan says as he kisses the back of my neck. “Are you okay?” concern evident in his voice. “I probably shouldn’t have pushed you so soon; I should have eased you into it.” He says and I feel my cheeks redden, glad my back is to his front.
“I’m okay, don’t worry” I almost whisper. Why am I still so shy with him?
“It will get better, I promise.” Nathan mumbles, and I love him even more for his concern.
“Nay, I’m good honestly, I loved last night.” I turn to face him.
“Only Jack calls me Nay.” He smiles at me. “I like it when you say it though.” He kisses me on my mouth, and I freeze. “What’s wrong?” he pulls away slightly.
“I need to brush my teeth.” I mumble as I cover my mouth with my hand.
“Baby, I couldn’t give a shit about morning breath, I want my kiss.” He laughs as he pulls my hand away and presses his mouth to mine, slipping his tongue in instantly.
“I like it when you call me baby.” I say as we climb out of bed.
“Me too, baby.” He says as he swats his hand at my bottom, making me squeal with delight.
I love him. I love him. I love him.
Chapter Thirty-One – Nathan
As soon as we have both brushed our teeth and changed back into my jogger bottoms and a clean t-shirt I head towards the kitchen with Ellie for breakfast.
As we pass Jack’s room, we hear faint moans coming through the door.
“I guess Blair stayed the night then.” I say as I take Ellie’s hand.
“Yeah, I thought she was a little snobby too. And how do you even know who Blair is? Have you seen Gossip girl?” Ellie chuckles.
“She is more than a little snobby, I don’t even think Jack likes her! Did you see the way he was last night, when we were going to bed?” I ask her, avoiding her question.
“Yeah, he wasn’t impressed, was he?” Ellie giggles. I love that sound. Get your shit together Nathan. Fuck.
“What do you want to do today?” I kiss the back of Ellie’s hand and rub the tip of my nose over her knuckles.
“Do you think, maybe, we could just stay in? Like watch tv in bed? Maybe Gossip girl, as you are clearly a fan” Ellie asks, that blush creeping over her cheeks.
“Yeah, if that’s what you want to do? I can’t promise to keep my hands off of you though, me and you, alone, half naked in bed, that would be way too tempting…” I push Ellie against the wall, pinning her hands above her head with one of mine, my other hand slides down her side to her waist and round to her arse. I kiss her neck, gently sucking just below her ear. She melts into me, pulling me closer to her, moaning quietly into my shoulder.
“Nay, what if someone sees us? We can’t do this here.” She whispers.
“Do what? We are only kissing.” I laugh. She is so innocent.
“Besides, I have seen him do worse.” Jack walks down the corridor towards us, wannabe Blair trailing behind him. I turn my head away from Ellie and glare at him. I don’t want her to know anything about who I was at home, or any other girl for that matter.
“What?” Jack holds his hands up in mock defence and laughs.
“Let’s go downstairs.” Ellie says and I can hear the words catch in her throat. Fuck sake Jack!
“Are you staying again tonight, Beth?” I know I am being petty, but Jack should learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.
“No, she’s not!” Jack fires back at me. Returning my glare.
“Why not? Are you two not official yet?” I honestly think Jack might kick me down the stairs. I smirk at him.
“I’ll walk you out Beth, David will take you home.” Jack walks down the stairs and gestures for Beth to follow him. Beth doesn’t even say anything as she realises that she has basically been smashed and lashed. I might have to speak to him about how much of a prick he is turning into. I almost feel sorry for the girl.
*
“Shall we go back upstairs then? We could see if there is something on Netflix to watch?” I ask Ellie, she has been really quiet during breakfast, pushing her food around her plate and I know it’s because of what Jack said upstairs. I feel like kicking him in the head. Idiot.
“Um, yeah okay, sure. I mean is it okay though? You know with your dad? I don’t want him to think badly of me.” Ellie is fiddling with her hands again and avoiding eye contact with me. I look over at Jack with a look that tells him I am going to murder him later. He mouths ‘Sorry’ to me and continues to eat his omelette.
“Ellie, nobody will think badly of you for staying and watching films with me. Besides my dad isn’t even home, him and Casey stayed at the hotel last night, and Matthew is with the sitter. There is only us here.” I try to pacify her. I am going to have to tell her a little bit about my past with girls. Jack the fucking idiot has opened a can of worms. I can tell how insecure she has become.
“Come on.” I take her hand and lead her back to my bedroom. I turn around quickly and silently call Jack a prick. He just stares at me and mouths “sorry” for the
second time.
*
Once we are back upstairs and in bed, I sit up and take both Ellie’s hands in mine, deciding how I am even going to begin with my past dating history, or lack thereof.
“Look, Ellie, what Jack said earlier, it’s not as bad as you’re probably thinking.” I trail off.
“It’s okay Nathan, you don’t have to tell me anything, I’m not stupid, I know you have been with other girls, had girlfriends.” Ellie still won’t look at me.
“Ellie, look at me. Yes, I have been with other girls, sexually, quite a few if I am being honest. I have never had a girlfriend though. I was a bit of shit before I met you, I just had sex with girls, no feelings involved. It wouldn’t be like that with you though. I love you; I know everything is happening really quickly with us, believe me, I am as shocked as you most likely are. But I do love you, so It’s different, I have never felt like this before, about anyone, I swear it.” My words come out ragged, I don’t even recognise my own voice. I feel like I am begging for a second chance when technically I haven’t done anything wrong.
“I can’t help that I have a past, Ellie. Honestly, I wish I didn’t, I wish there was only you, but if it counts for anything, the way I feel, there will only ever be you from now on. I don’t care how long I have to wait for you, I love you, I only want you.” I am pleading with her; I feel embarrassed for myself at how needy I sound.
“Nathan, I am not mad that you have been with other girls. It’s just that I am so, inexperienced. I can’t offer you what those other girls can or have. I don’t know how to be sexy, or um, turn you on, or whatever. What if you get bored with me? I don’t think I could handle it. I love you; it would break my heart.” Ellie stares at our joined hands, she never once looks up at me. I remove my hands from hers and place them on her cheeks, turning her face up so I can look at her. There are tears pooling in her averted eyes. I kiss her tenderly on the mouth before pulling back to look at her again.
“Ellie, I can promise you, I will never get bored with you! I don’t want other girls. Experienced or not, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me! I am so glad that you haven’t had sex before. The thought of anyone else touching you, it turns my stomach. You are mine, and part of the fun will be teaching you everything I know. Making love and having sex are two very different things. It will be a first for me too, when it happens.” My inner knobhead wants to gag at my cheesy words. But the new me, who is helplessly in love with my girl, he will always win my internal battles.
Ellie finally makes eye contact with me. She looks at me through her eyelashes and gives me a beautiful smile.
I kiss her as she climbs onto my lap. I turn our bodies, so she is lying under me as we deepen our kiss. As our hands start exploring each-other, I feel one of hers cupping me over my boxers. I almost moan into her mouth at the delicate touch. Her hand shaking a little.
“My girl is getting brave.” I say as I pull away for just a second and she giggles shyly.
Chapter Thirty-Two – Ellie
As Nathan weaves through New York traffic, he drums his fingers against the steering wheel to the Arctic Monkeys Playlist on his phone, he called the playlist ‘Our first date’ and it makes me giddy every time I see it. I wish we could have stayed in bed at his dad’s house for the rest of the night. I have to go back to dorms though as we are back at university tomorrow.
I keep replaying everything we spoke about in his room earlier, I still cannot believe how lucky I got with Nathan, he is perfect, and I believe he genuinely loves me as much as I love him. He is right, everything between us is happening ridiculously quick. I remember having a conversation with my sister about boyfriends and relationships. I was always so worried I would never meet anyone. She would say, when you meet the one, you just know instantly, it is like a whirlwind and it makes your head spin. That was how it was for her and my brother in law. I never believed her, but what did I know?
“Hey, what are you thinking about? You are miles away.” Nathan pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Oh, just you, you are always on my mind lately.” I tell him honestly.
“I should hope so; I will have to give you more things to think about.” He says as he slides his hand up my thigh towards my crotch. I stop his hand with mine and he gives me a cheeky grin.
“That grin of yours should be illegal, it does things to me.” I tell him.
“What kind of things, baby, does it turn you on?” Nathan asks me whilst moving our joined hands back up my thigh.
“Nathan! You are so bad!” I gasp. I can’t hide my shock and embarrassment at his words. He lets out a loud, contagious laugh. And I laugh with him.
“I bet it does though, doesn’t it?” he turns towards me when he has pulled the car into a parking position outside the gates of Columbia. He starts to run his hands up my thighs again and leans in to kiss me. I start to get hot and flustered as he slides his soft tongue into my mouth. I don’t think I will ever get enough of him.
After a few minutes I reluctantly break away from our kiss. “I have to go.” I say in gasps, trying to catch my breath.
“Are you sure you can’t stay with me again? I will wait here while you get your things from your room?” Nathan says in matching gasps.
“No, I have to finish my assignment for tomorrow.” I sigh. I don’t want him to go. “You could stay with me though?” I cringe at the desperation in my question.
“Baby, if you would have said that back at my dad’s, I would have brought a change of clothes with me.” He suddenly seems deflated. “I don’t want to leave you; I’ll miss these sexy legs wrapped around me as you grind into me.” He says, his voice suddenly deeper.
“On that note, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll miss you too.” With sudden boldness, I add. “I’ll miss what you do to me with your hands.” Before he can say anything back, and my embarrassment takes over, I jump out of his car and run up the steps.
I turn around to see his reaction to my comment as I reach the top of the steps, he is watching me through the window, laughing and shaking his head. I mouth ‘I love you’ to him and head inside as he pulls away.
After I finish my assignment for English literature, and exchanging a few text messages with Nathan, I decide to send a text to my sister Lydia. I tell her everything that has happened since I got to New York. I tell her everything about Nathan, leaving out the intimate moments we have shared, it’s not something I want to tell her over a text message. I know she won’t see it until she wakes, because of the time difference. I cannot wait to actually speak to her about everything, she isn’t just my sister, she is my best friend, and I know she will be so happy I have met someone. After I finish typing my text message, which is so long it actually resembles the essay, I hit send. I text a goodnight to Nathan and lie down to sleep, hoping I dream of his green eyes and soft lips.
Chapter Thirty-Three – Nathan
“Fucking Idiot!” I whack Jack across the back of the head when I get home. “What did you have to say that for in front of Ellie? She doesn’t know anything about home, I want to keep it that way!” I snarl at him.
“Shit, I said I was sorry! In my defence I didn’t know you was keeping secrets from her, did I?” Jack answers me rubbing his head, and I can’t exactly be angry at him, he’s right, I shouldn’t be hiding things from her.
“I’m protecting her Jack, the less she knows about the twat I was back home, the better. She’s too good for me.” I tell him.
“Nay, she loves you, I could see that last night, and you love her, you are not the cold-hearted bastard you were at home anymore, losing Ryan changed you. You shouldn’t hide things from her, secrets do more damage to a relationship than anything else.” Jack preaches.
“Are you sure you’re only seventeen? You are wise beyond your years.” I chuckle.
“Dad leaving us, forced us both to grow up fast. You chose gangs, I chose Katie.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“Speaking of Katie, yo
u can’t treat girls likes shit, because Katie broke your heart, it’s not right.” I berate him.
“What are you talking about?” Jack asks.
“You know what I am talking about. The way you treated Beth, it was horrible Jack, you basically used the girl. I don’t particularly like the snotty bitch, but she didn’t deserve that.” I scold.
“I never used her, it was just sex from the start, she knew that. I never promised her anything. Besides you have never been in a relationship in your life, are you seriously trying to give me advice?” He mocks me. I fight the urge to punch him in the throat.
“Jack, I love you, you are my kid brother, but watch your mouth. I am telling you, you are behaving like a gobshite, I should know, you learned it from me!” I snap. “Sleep with as many girls as you want, I couldn’t care less, but treat them with respect!” I practically spit my words at him.
“I told you, she knew the score, I didn’t lead her on. I am not as bad as you were, I don’t plan on being either! I will listen to you, when you stop lying to Ellie!” Jacks snaps back at me.
“Fine!” I storm out of the kitchen before I kick him in his pretentious fucking head.
“Fine!” Jack shouts back at me from the kitchen as I reach the stairs. Once I reach my room, I slam my door closed behind me. I lie down on my bed to try and calm myself; I never fight with Jack. He has changed and it is all my fault.
I am agitated, I can’t keep still, I need Ellie.
I grab a clean change of clothes, underwear and my tooth brush and go downstairs to my car, I haven’t even called Ellie to tell her I am coming, I just need to get to her.
“Where are you going? What’s going on with you and Jack?” My dad appears from nowhere as I am walking out the front door.