The Line That Holds The Kite

by J E McDonald

  *

  “Hey, can I come in?” I say as I walk into Jack’s room, contradicting my question.

  “Yeah, we’re just watching tv anyway.” Jack answers me, him and Matthew are sprawled across his bed, Matthew has got a bottle half hanging out of his mouth. The kid has constantly got a bottle of milk practically surgically attached to his lip. As I sit on the edge of the bed, Matthew pulls me by my wrist, so I am lying at the top with him and Jack. He snuggles into my side and says “Watch, Nay.” He has the cutest voice, he is so little, it’s strange that he can speak.

  “I’m sorry Jack, I had no right giving you stick about Beth, I am in no position to judge, giving my history.” The words I am sorry feel like alien coming out of my mouth, no matter how many times I say them, it’s still bizarre to me. I don’t usually apologise for shit. Ellie has turned me into a soppy little bitch. I laugh at my thoughts.

  “You’re apologising, are you feeling okay?” Jack laughs. “it’s fine, you were right, I was being, I was bad. I need to find a better way to deal with the whole Katie thing. I’ve ended things with Beth, it wasn’t fair to string her along.” Jack’s shoulders slump and he seems deflated.

  “You were being bad?” I laugh, lightening the mood between us.

  “I didn’t want to swear in front of the kid, I couldn’t think of a better word.” He looks at me and grins.

  “I love you kid.” The words fall out of my mouth, but I mean them.

  “Me?” Matthew asks, looking up at me.

  “Yeah, you too kiddo.” I smile at the little toddler that I never in a million years thought I would have a relationship with, or even know for that matter. My words sink in, I do love him, I love him the way I love Jack, the way I loved Ryan. I look up at the shocked expression on Jack’s face and I laugh.

  “Lad, I am just as shocked as you. Blame Ellie.” I shrug my shoulders and laugh a little harder.

  “She has turned you into a soppy little bitch.” Jack’s laughter matches my own.

  “My thoughts exactly.” I agree. “Why are you not at school, anyway?”

  ‘Why are you not at Columbia?” jack fires back in jest.

  “Touché.” I laugh. We lie on this bed for what feels like hours, watching every superhero movie imaginable. It isn’t until Rosie comes in to get Matthew for his bath that we realise how dark it has gone outside. As she leaves with Matthew, I edge off the bed to leave.

  “She is fit her, isn’t she?” Jack says.

  “Who? The babysitter?” I ask confused.

  “Yeah.” He answers.

  “Jack, she is about thirty-odd.” I snigger.

  “So, she is still fit.” He shrugs his shoulders.

  I burst into laughter and leave the room.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight – Ellie

  “Hey, Sis!” Lydia says through the phone, I’m so happy to hear her voice, I didn’t realise how I much I missed her and my family until I heard her voice.

  “Oh, I miss you so much!” I exclaim.

  “We all miss you too! I got your text message, who is this boy?” I can hear the excitement in her voice, it makes me giddy.

  “He isn’t a boy, he will be twenty soon, and he is from Belgravia, Ironic really, I meet him in New York when I couldn’t meet an English guy when I lived there.” I laugh into the phone.

  “Guy? You’ve been there two months and you’ve already turned American on me?” She giggles into the phone. “And you are my baby sister, no matter how old you get, so anyone you date is a baby too.” She continues to giggle.

  “Fair enough! Oh, he is amazing Lydia, I really love him! I know it’s really soon, but you were right, when you know, you know!” I hear her sigh.

  “Just be careful Ellie, I don’t want to see you hurt! This is your first relationship; you need to take it slow.” She sounds worried, it irritates me slightly, but I know she means well.

  “He won’t hurt me Lyd, and even if he does, I feel alive for the first time, I basically existed before I met him.” The reality of my words hit me, it’s true, I was a ghost before I met him, ignored and dismissed. He has kissed life into me. I don’t think I could ever let him go, even if I wanted to, no matter what I find out about him.

  “You sound like you’re in deep little sis, I just hope he doesn’t break your heart. Don’t let him rush you into anything you’re not ready for, I made that mistake with my first boyfriend, don’t repeat my mistakes.” I know she is talking about sex; I am so tempted to tell her that ship has well and truly sailed. Something holds me back though, I want to keep it private, between me and Nathan for as long as I can. Some things should be sacred, private.

  “He doesn’t pressure me, he loves me just as much as I love him, he tells me every day. I don’t know how I got so lucky, he really is perfect, and he is beautiful.” I feel myself getting excited again just talking about him. I am pathetic.

  “You said he was beautiful in the text; can’t you send me a photo of him? And he is the lucky one, I have been telling you all your life, you are absolutely gorgeous Ellie, inside and out. You are one of a kind, they don’t make them like you anymore.” Lydia says through the phone and my heart swells in my chest, she always makes me feel better about myself, even if I don’t believe her half of the time. She is my biggest supporter, and I will always be hers.

  “I love you so much Lyd, and I miss you like you wouldn’t believe!” I tell her and I hear her sigh for the second time.

  “I love and miss you too baby sis, and I am unbelievably proud of you, we all are! I always knew you would do great things, and look at you, living on your own in New York and going to an Ivy League College. You never cease to amaze me!” tears pool in my eyes and I can’t fight them as they roll down my cheeks. I can’t muster words to reply.

  “Don’t cry El, I can’t comfort you and it’s killing me.” Her voice breaks and I think she might cry too.

  “I’m okay, I just miss you, I’ll be home for Christmas though, so I’ll see you all soon!” I pull myself together, I’ll be home in less than two months.

  “I know I can’t wait to see you, make sure you bring the dreamboat home for approval, bye El, speak to you soon!” She laughs.

  “Bye Sis, love you!” I hang up the phone and stare at it in my hands for an age. When I finally snap out of my day-dream I text Nathan to come over. Within twenty minutes he is walking into my room.

  “Hey baby, you okay? Have you been crying? Has something happened, is it me?” Nathan looks genuinely terrified and I jump off the bed and go to him. His strong arms wrap around me and I sag into him.

  “No, of course not! I just spoke with my sister before, I miss her, my family, so I got upset.” I look up at him. “Why would you think I was crying because of you?” I am a little hurt, I need this man to function, why on earth would he assume I was upset because of him?

  “Because of all the things I told you the other night? About who I was, my life back home?” he still looks worried.

  “Nathan, this is real between us, it’s changed everything I feel or thought I knew, nothing you tell me will change that. I love you with every fibre of me, I don’t care about who you were before or your past, only who you are now. Everything before, it’s not important, me and you, that’s what matters.” I am breathless when I finish speaking. He looks completely speechless and is motionless for a few seconds. I stare up at him through my eyelashes waiting for his response.

  His mouth crashes into mine and the remaining breath is sucked from my body. He whispers that he loves me between kisses as he walks me backwards towards my bed.

  I am completely lost in him. We are completely lost in each other.

  Chapter Thirty-nine – Nathan

  I lay in Ellie’s bed, her naked body wrapped around mine, her head against my chest, my fingers stroke her blonde curls gently. I don’t know how long I have lay here just listening to her light breathing. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much. She completely took my
breath away telling me she didn’t care about my past, that I have a clean slate, nothing before us matters. I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear her say those words. I was so worried she would walk away from me once she knew who I was. I feel like I can now tell her anything and she won’t ever leave me. There is still so much she needs to know, I need to tell her, but I know I can, nothing will break us.

  “How long have you been awake?” Ellie’s voice breaks through my thoughts, it’s so sexy, groggy from sleep.

  “I don’t know, I was just listening to you breathing, it was peaceful.” I have never felt this calm, I am usually battling with myself, I finally feel like I have won my internal war.

  “Are you saying it’s not peaceful now I am awake?” She jokes stroking her fingers over my bare chest. It sends a shiver through me.

  “No, you are my peace Ellie. I have never been happier.” I say honestly. She leans up and kisses me.

  “I hardly existed before I met you, I was a ghost, barely alive. You make me happy.” She smiles before continuing. “You are not my peace though; you are the fire that thawed me out and brought me to life.” Again, her words knock the wind out of me. I roll my body on top of hers, losing myself in her again.

  Chapter forty – Nathan

  “Nathan, Can I talk to you for a second?” My dad shouts from his office as I walk towards my room.

  I roll my eyes and walk into his office. “What’s up?”

  “There is a charity ball on Friday night, the president of Columbia will be there, I would like you to attend, you should bring Ellie. It will be good for you both to meet him.” My dad doesn’t irritate me as much as he used to, I don’t know if it is Ellie’s influence on me, or I just hate him less.

  “I don’t know, I don’t want to go, Ellie might not want to go. Besides I will have to wear that penguin suit again. I don’t even think Ellie would have something to wear, these events, they are full of snobs.” I use every excuse I can think of, for us not to go. I would rather have the house to ourselves, if they will be at another event, we will be alone. The things I could do with my sexy girl… My imagination runs away with me.

  “Like I said, it will be good for you both to attend. Your trust has been activated, take Ellie to buy a new outfit, get yourself another suit. If you are going to live here, you need to get used to attending events Nathan, it is a part of our lives here, we are no ordinary family in New York. Certain things are expected of you.” My dad’s voice is stern and unwavering. I feel my temper building, who the fuck is he talking to?

  “Dad; don’t tell me what to do! And don’t fucking blackmail me with money, you can shove your trust-fund right up your arse!” My voice is low and cold, I restrain myself from screaming at him but somehow my words come out more sinister. I am about to walk out of the room to distance myself from him when he speaks again. Deep breathes Nathan.

  “Nathan, you are twenty years old next week, you need to start behaving like a man, not a petulant fucking child! I am not blackmailing you with money, your trust is yours to do what you like with, I was merely suggesting you spoil that beautiful girl of yours. As for telling you what to do, I think we both know you have done exactly as you pleased since you were old enough to speak! You attend an Ivy League University, you are a part of Manhattan’s Elite, whether you like it or not! Leave the thug you were back home, it’s time to grow up!” His speech cuts through me like a knife, I am at a loss for words. For once, I agree with everything he has said. I sometimes forget who I am, and the horror I was, he comes out. I can’t be that person anymore, I have to be better, for Ellie. Living in New York can do that for me, make my life better, I need to embrace it, instead of fighting it.

  “Fine, we will go! We are not staying there all night though; I can’t tolerate those boring events for longer than two hours! And I want the penthouse suite at the Crane Astoria.” I say as calmly as I can, I am livid that he is right. I don’t like him being right about anything. The arsehole still left us. “In fact; I want the suite permanently. Just in case I ever need an escape from you and this fucking house!” I add. My dad has the audacity to smirk at me. I want to punch him, dead fucking hard.

  “Okay, you have it, on the understanding that you attend at least three events a week, you go to all of your classes, and you have dinner with the family every Wednesday.” My dad negotiates with me, I roll my eyes at him. He always wants something in return. Now I know where I get it from.

  “Agreed. The family dinner is pushing it though, I will not sit and play nice with your slut.” I say calmly, knowing full well I have gone too far with the slut comment.

  “Nathan do not fucking push me! You will call her by her name!” he snarls.

  “Nah, I won’t though! A girl who splits up a family and gets herself knocked up to a man twice her age, is a slut. I’ve told you before, she will get no respect from me.” I sneer at him. For a second, I think my dad is going to pick his stapler up and launch it at me. He grips the side of his desk instead turning his knuckles white.

  “Get out of my sight, boy!” he snarls at me.

  “Thought I was a man now?” I laugh strolling out of his fancy office. I hear him throw something and it hits the wall to my left. Stapler.

  When I reach my bedroom, I grab my phone off my bed and call Ellie.

  “Hey lover.” Her voice comes through the phone after three rings.

  “Lover?” I laugh at her nickname.

  “I was just trying it out, it didn’t sound right though, I prefer babe.” She joins in laughing with me. Best sound ever, well second to her moans.

  “Me too baby! So fancy coming shopping? Gobshite has activated my trust, so I reckon we blow through some of it? Also, will you come to a charity event with me Friday? We won’t stay long?” I wait for her answer.

  “I don’t know how I feel about you spending money on me Nathan, I don’t want you to think that is why I am with you. I will go to the charity thingy majig though.” She says.

  “Ellie, I know you are not with me for the money, I didn’t even have it until about an hour ago. Besides what else am I going to spend it on? I have got to go to these events at least three times a week from now on, you better believe you are coming with me. I am not suffering through them alone! You will need lots of dresses. Also, thingy majig?” I chuckle and her sexy laugh comes through the phone.

  “It was something I used to say when I was kid, I don’t really know why. And okay you have twisted my arm, but you are not spending a lot of money, I am only agreeing because I don’t have anything to wear.” She sighs, giving in to my demands. I love her.

  “Cool, I will pick you up in an hour, we need to get me a suit, I am not wearing that fucking bowtie again.” I hear her laugh as I hang up the phone.

  On my way out to get Ellie, I pop my head back into my dad’s office, I hesitate for a second before he looks up at me.

  “What?” he snaps. I bite my lip, so I don’t laugh. He is still fuming.

  “I was just wondering where I would get a suit from?” trying not to laugh is physically painful.

  “I like Brioni.” He says in a low voice; he doesn’t make eye contact.

  “Sound, man.” I say this just to piss him off further. He hates when I speak in slang from back home. I watch as his face goes from crimson to purple with rage and I run to my car laughing. My new favourite pass time is pissing my dad off and getting him wound up. It is so easy.

  Chapter Forty-One – Ellie

  After nearly two hours of trying on every Brioni suit in the store, Nathan finally settles on a Navy-blue herringbone brunico suit. He pairs it with a blue and white striped formal shirt, a plain navy silk tie and black calfskin derby shoes. The tailor tried to convince him to buy a floral pattern tie, to add a little ‘zest’ as he put it, but the look Nathan gave him when he held it up to his chest made him return it to the rack sharpish.

  “Right I think I’m good, shall we go and get you a dress?” Nathan asks me when h
e finishes paying at the cashier desk. I lose the ability to speak when they announce the grand total.

  “Nathan, that is so much money!” I gasp.

  “I told you, my dad has got more money than Donald Trump. He said I can do what I want with my trust.” He simply shrugs his shoulders like its nothing and takes my hand.

  “What about Bergdorf’s? They sell dresses, don’t they?” Nathan walks into the store and I genuinely feel my hands shake. The place smells of money.

  “This is too much, let’s just go somewhere else?” I ask him and he turns to look at me.

  “Baby, this is our life here, we can get whatever we want, shop wherever we want, just get used to it.” He caresses my cheek with his free hand and kisses the corner of my mouth.

  After a further two hours of me trying on a million dresses, I finally settle on an electric blue mock-neck sleeveless floral lace gown with tulle overlay, by Badgley Mischka. I swear, it is honestly the most beautiful dress I have ever seen in my life. The sales assistant picks out silver strappy Jimmy choo shoes and a matching clutch bag. I wanted to show Nathan the dress on, but he insisted on keeping it a surprise for Friday, he also insisted on blue, to match his suit.

  “Nathan, I don’t want to know how much this is going to cost, so I will meet you outside.” I tell him as I turn to walk out, he grabs me by the arm and pulls me to him.

  “Let’s get food, I am starving! Just wait by the door for me, if you are going to be weird.” He kisses me and shakes his head laughing. “I told you, get used to it.” He adds.