Close to Me

by Monica Murphy

  He sits up straighter, his arms dropping to his sides. “She’s not my type. I’m wasting my time.”

  Mr. Curtin enters the class and I turn away from Ash, focusing my attention on what the teacher is writing on the board. Forcing myself to not think about what Ash said. Yet his words run through my head over and over, on a continuous loop. Who is he talking about? It can’t be me. I’m reading too much into his words. He’s not interested in me. He thinks I’m gross, just like I think he’s gross. He’s not my type. At all. I need to make a move on someone safe and sweet. Someone like Ben.

  The problem with Ben? He’s safe and sweet and also clueless. As in, I don’t think he realizes that I like him so much. If he did, he’d ask me out, right? We’d at least be talking, like seriously.

  I can’t help but notice when Ash discreetly stuffs the bag I brought him into his backpack that’s sitting on the floor, then zips it up. He glances up at me and catches me watching him, his hair flopping over his forehead and hanging in his eyes. I blink away, my stomach doing that weird twisty thing it does when I think about Ash for too long.

  I need to stop thinking about him. So I do.

  I do it so well, I don’t even notice halfway through class that he’s trying to get my attention. He taps the edge of the old table extra hard, causing Curtin to pause in his lecture for the briefest moment before he resumes, and I look at Ash to see he’s now lightly tapping the edge of his notebook with his pen.

  Glancing down, I see he’s written something. A note.

  For me.

  What do I wear Monday?

  Pressing my lips together, I flip to an empty page in my notebook and write him a response.

  The pajamas. I left a note in the bag listing what to wear each day.

  He reads my reply and pulls the notebook toward him before he hunches over and starts writing again, biting his lower lip in concentration.

  Like a complete dork, I can’t help but stare. He’s extra attractive for some reason, and maybe that’s because he’s not saying rude things or taunting me. He’s treating me…normal, and I like it.

  I’m startled when he moves the notebook closer to me so I can read what he wrote.

  I don’t own a suit.

  My heart falls. He needs to dress up a little bit for coronation night. I love the dress I found last weekend when Kaya, our friend Daphne, and I dragged my mom to the mall the next town over. We shopped for hours. Mom never complained once when Kaya and I tried on dress after dress, Daphne offering up her opinions, the both of us moaning and groaning we were never going to find anything.

  Well, I eventually found what I wanted, and so did Kaya. Mom didn’t say I told you so, but the smug smile on her face as we drove home told me that’s what she was thinking. Daphne reassured us that we both chose gorgeous dresses, and we were glad we brought her. She’s our most honest friend, and you need that type of friend when dress shopping for one of the most important nights of your life.

  Realizing Ash is waiting for me to respond, I scribble something quick.

  Do you have a button-down shirt?

  His gaze meets mine and he slowly shakes his head.

  How about a pair of black pants?

  Reaching over, his arm presses against mine as he writes on my notebook this time.

  Black jeans.

  He doesn’t remove his arm from where it rests next to mine, and I’m tingling. Literally tingling all over just from that simple contact. I don’t move my arm either. His is warm and strong, and I know that’s his throwing arm. Where all the power lies, as my father might say.

  Okay, maybe he wouldn’t say that. I think I’ve been reading too many love stories about football players on Wattpad lately. My secret addiction.

  Are they faded? I write.

  Ash frowns, his eyebrows crinkling. I write some more. The jeans.

  He shakes his head. Still doesn’t remove his arm.

  Then they should be fine. Just make sure they’re clean!

  Oh my God, I sound like a total mom. I sort of want to slap my forehead, but I restrain myself.

  But he doesn’t call me out on it. Instead, he scribbles across the paper:

  I’ll work on finding a shirt.

  I’m about to write a response when the classroom phone rings and Mr. Curtin stops lecturing to go answer it. The entire class starts talking in a low murmur and I glance over at Ash to find he’s already looking at me, his dark brown gaze unreadable.

  “I’ll look for a shirt this weekend,” he tells me, finally removing his arm from where it rested against mine. His voice, his entire demeanor is nonchalant. Like this moment we just shared was no big deal. To him, it probably wasn’t. I’m the one who’s making something out of nothing. “I might be able to scrub one up, or borrow a shirt from somebody.”

  “Okay.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat, feeling dumb. This was nothing.

  Nothing.

  And when he zooms out of class the moment the bell sounds, his actions confirm my thoughts.

  Nothing at all.

  Seven

  “I miss you.”

  I turn at the sound of the male voice behind me, shocked to discover it’s Ben standing there with a forlorn expression on his cute face. And I really do mean it when I call Ben cute. He’s got golden hair that curls at the ends, he’s really tan and he has bright blue eyes. He had a total glow up over the summer, growing a few inches so now he’s just under six feet, and he’s not as scrawny as he was when we were freshmen. I liked him back then too, but he didn’t really notice me.

  At least, I don’t think he did.

  Smiling brightly, I tilt my head to the side. “What do you mean, you miss me?”

  My heart is thundering in my chest as I wait for his reply. It’s just before lunch, and I need to go meet Asher in the quad so we can play our homecoming-themed game. The nominees are supposed to participate every day. We won our round Monday playing a complicated ring-toss game that involved me sitting on Ash’s shoulders.

  Talk about awkward.

  Yesterday, we came in second with the build-a-snowman game. It’s not easy wrapping a dozen rolls of toilet paper around Ash in a quick manner. I kept having to touch him and it made me nervous.

  Yay. More awkwardness.

  Today is Wednesday, the last day of games and I’m glad.

  I’m so over the game thing.

  “I haven’t really seen you or talked to you at lunch this whole week,” Ben explains, offering me a shy smile. Ughhh, so adorable.

  “It’s only been two days,” I remind him.

  “Two days too long,” he says in reply, his smile growing.

  If Kaya were with us, she’d be digging her elbow in my ribs and practically bouncing with excitement. She’s wanted something to happen between Ben and me since summer.

  Looks like she might finally get her wish. And I’ll get my wish too.

  “One more day of games, and then it’s over,” I tell Ben before I glance over my shoulder. Most everyone is already gathered in the quad, and I spot Ash standing next to the student council teacher, watching us.

  He looks away when I catch him.

  “Good.” Ben reaches out and tugs on the end of my braid. It’s tourist day today, and I’m wearing a pair of khaki shorts that are probably too short, a Hawaiian print shirt that Daphne loaned me, and I did my hair in two French braids. Plus I’m rocking the black socks and Birkenstocks look, which turns my outfit from cute to dork. Ash is wearing a T-shirt that says Stay HI in Hawaii, which he borrowed from one of his teammates, and a pair of too-long denim shorts that should be ridiculous on him, yet somehow he still manages to look decent.

  It’s so irritating.

  “Yo Callahan!” I wince, recognizing Ash’s voice. I don’t bother looking back at him. “Get over here! You’re holding up the game!”

  Offering Ben a sympathetic smile, I decide to go for it and reach out, grabbing his hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “I’ll see you later
?”

  He appears pleasantly shocked by my bold move. “I’ll see you at coronation tonight.”

  My heart races. “You’ll be there?”

  Ben nods. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Callahan!” Ash screams.

  “Sorry. Gotta go,” I whisper to Ben before I take off into a run and head for the quad. I come to a stop next to the vice principal, who sends me a pointed look.

  “Nice of you to finally show up, Miss Callahan,” Mrs. Adney says before she launches into an explanation of today’s game.

  And oh God, I don’t know if I want to do this.

  “I’m fast,” Ash tells me once they’ve handed out the sacks. His expression is full-on serious when he asks, “Are you fast?”

  I shrug, nerves already eating at me. “I’ve never won a race before, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  He glances around as if he’s making sure no one’s listening, before he ducks his head and lowers his voice. “Listen, just hold on to me and let me do all the work.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?” We’re competing in a sack race. The couples each have one leg in the sack and have to hobble together across the lawn that slopes toward the student parking lot. Whoever crosses the finishing line first wins.

  I can tell Ash really wants to win this one.

  “Follow my lead.”

  Once the freshman nominees compete—and it ends with one couple in a tangle on the ground and the other two practically tying, it’s our turn. My palms are sweating and I curse my shoe choice as I slip my left leg into the sack after Ash has already inserted his right one.

  “Birks?” Ash slowly shakes his head, his lips thinning. “We’re fucked.”

  “You’re wearing flip flops,” I accuse, because he is.

  “Kicked them off.” He lifts the leg that’s not in the sack to show me his bare foot. “You should take yours off too.”

  Somehow I manage to take off both Birks and Daphne appears out of nowhere, grabbing them from me and wishing us good luck. I gasp when Ash wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Put your arm around me,” he commands, and I glare at him. “Do it before they blow the whistle.”

  I hate when people boss me around, but I do what he says, slipping my arm around his broad back just below his shoulders. The way we’re positioned is both intimate and awkward, and now it’s not just my palms that are sweating, and when that whistle blows I feel like I’m propelled forward by Ash.

  He clutches me to him, his left hand holding one side of the sack, my right hand holding the other. Kaya and her boyfriend are next to us, and I glance over at her just as they both tumble to the ground.

  “Focus!” Ash yells, and I stare straight ahead, my gaze zeroing in on that finish line that’s just out of reach. I do my best to keep up with his strides, but I’m short and my boobs are jiggling extra because like a dummy I wore a bralette today instead of a regular bra.

  Suddenly Ash’s arm tightens around me and I swear to God, he lifts me off the ground and we really start moving, my fingers still grasping the edge of the sack. He’s huffing and puffing, and I’m huffing and puffing, and everyone watching us is yelling and screaming and jumping up and down. All I can think about is how Ash is lifting me with just one arm.

  He is so freaking strong.

  We barely make it across the finish line before we collapse into a heap on the ground, me landing right on top of Ash with a loud oof. He rolls so I’m pinned beneath him, and I glare up at him, my chest rising and falling, his chest rising and falling, his hips nestled between mine.

  It’s all I can focus on, that spot where we’re pressed up tight against each other. Liquid heat pools there and I part my lips, though I can’t find any words.

  “We fucking won. Good job, Callahan,” he mutters before he leans in and brushes the quickest kiss to my cheek, startling me completely. Then he’s kicking off the sack from our legs and someone pulls him into a standing position. I rise to my feet shakily and stand beside him, squealing with pure joy when Adney yanks my arm and Ash’s arm up in a victory pose.

  People are laughing and clapping, including my best friend, who appears genuinely happy I won despite the fact that we just beat them. Daphne wraps me up in a big hug, bouncing up and down with me, the both of us laughing. I revel in the moment, cracking up when Mrs. Adney pins a blue ribbon first on Ash’s chest, then on mine. I’m beaming as someone from the yearbook staff takes our photo, and when I spot Ben smiling at me and giving me a thumbs-up, I can’t help but smile back.

  And think of Ash and the way he kissed me the entire time.

  “Please, just—don’t give them a stupid answer, okay?” I offer Ash a smile, but he just rolls his eyes, continuously running his fingers through his hair. I’m sure he thinks he’s straightening it out, but he’s only making a bigger mess of it.

  It’s Wednesday night. Coronation. We’re backstage at the student theater, waiting for them to call us out. The freshmen are currently on stage, the girls pretty and the boys awkward, all of them making a mess of their answers when they’re asked questions like What does school spirt mean to you?

  I have no idea how I’d answer either, but I’m sure I’ll do better than anyone on that stage right now.

  The seniors are in a different area, not that I’m surprised. They don’t want to deal with lower classmen. The juniors are in their own little world, talking amongst themselves, so it’s just up to us sophomores to make the best of it.

  “Nervous?” Kaya asks me.

  I nod, swallowing hard. My mouth is so dry. I might end up a sputtering mess. My parents are out there, as well as my brothers and sister. God, I think Uncle Owen and his wife, my Aunt Chelsea are with them too, along with my cousins. Mom wanted to make sure I had solid family representation tonight and I didn’t want her to make a big deal out of it, but I couldn’t stop her. Neither could Dad.

  “Me too.” Kaya offers me a kind smile just before she leans in and whispers, “I think you’re going to win.”

  “What? No way.” She and Jaden have been together for seven months. They’re the most popular couple in our class. They’ve got this.

  “Want to make a bet?” Kaya raises a brow.

  “I don’t want to win. Then we’ll have to be in the parade and I’ll have to go out at halftime when Coach will want to keep me in the locker room to strategize,” Jaden gripes. They may be popular, and Jaden plays football with Ash, but he’s the most low-key guy I know.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Kaya jabs Jaden in the ribs. She has the most pointiest elbows ever, I swear. She returns her attention to me, her expression shrewd. “I saw you and Ben talking earlier. What’s going on between you two?”

  “Not too much.” I don’t want to discuss Ben right now, not in front of Ash. He’ll just make fun of us later in class.

  “Uh huh.” Kaya’s eyes gleam, her mouth popping open to ask yet another question when a couple of leadership kids come over to where we’re waiting, interrupting her.

  Thank God.

  We line up, watching as the freshmen exit the stage, including the newly crowned freshman prince and princess. My nerves ratchet up, my breaths coming faster, and Ash grabs hold of my hand, pulling my arm through his.

  “Calm down, Callahan. You’ve got this,” he reassures me in that arrogant way of his. He somehow found not only a white button-down shirt but also a black tie, and his jeans are in perfect condition. He looks dressed up without trying too hard.

  Me? I look like I tried too hard, but I don’t care. My dress is a dark silvery gray with a lace overlay and a short, flared skirt. The top covers me up so my boobs aren’t spilling out, which they already want to do. Even if I don’t win, I still feel like a princess, and I love it.

  Not gonna lie, sure would be nice to win that crown, though.

  We stand on the stage and they announce our names, reading off the short bios we all had to turn in a few weeks ago. The longer I stand there, the more wobbly my knees get,
and I clutch Ash’s arm tight, clinging to him. He shifts closer, as if he knows I need him to hold me up and keep my focus on the audience. My mom and dad are sitting in the front row, Ava and Jake and Beck sitting in between them, and I don’t look at them for too long. I might start crying or something stupid like it.

  When it’s finally our turn to talk, we approach the host—the junior class president—and I have to answer the question first.

  “Who’s the person who’s influenced you the most?”

  I gaze out at the audience, my smile firmly in place as I say, “I’d have to say it’s my mom. She takes care of our family, my dad, my brothers and sisters and me. She always listens to me without judgment, and she makes time for all of us no matter what. Plus she’s a lot of fun. I like spending time with her and I basically want to be her when I grow up.”

  The applause makes me stand up straighter, and I swear I hear a loud sniffle—probably got Mom right smack in the feels. I’m still smiling when they ask Ash his question.

  “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

  Ash makes a face like he’s concentrating, and a few people in the audience—mostly girls—giggle. I’m sure he has a fan club that came in his support tonight. So many girls in our class—and a few freshman too—have major crushes on him.

  “I’d want to be able to read minds. So I’d know exactly what everyone’s thinking,” Ash says.

  “You sure about that?” the announcer says jokingly. “Some things you might not want to know.”

  “True. But then again, there are some things I do want to know.” Ash looks over at me. Like he wants to read my mind.

  That would be disastrous.

  Within minutes, they’re ready to announce the winners, and the anticipation is nearly killing me. I wait breathlessly, almost crumpling with relief when they announce my name.

  And Ash’s too.

  The couples that run together don’t always win together too, but it’s happening for us, and honestly I couldn’t be happier. We worked really hard for it this week. The costumes, the games, trying to show we have school spirit. Plus, I had cheer practice every day this week, getting our halftime routine perfected. It’s been exhausting.