Inside Voices

by Sarah Davis

  She shook her head as she focused on Lucy’s whisper in her mind that she was alright.

  “Sorry, Noah. No, the playing is fine. I just…became dizzy and then saw the bear…” she said, not wanting to relive the vision.

  “The bear or the Shadowed Man?”

  “Both,” she answered.

  At that moment, Marie sidled up next to Noah and managed to stand in front of Penny. In prime form, Marie praised Noah’s skill at the guitar in a sugar sweet voice. Penny heard that voice too often at the vet clinic and may or may not have used it once or twice herself when talking to baby animals. Shifting around Marie’s curvaceous frame, Noah glanced at Penny. Concern was still etched on his handsome face, stubble darkening his jaw. As Marie rambled on, Penny mimed vomiting into the ash tray behind her back. Noah barked out a laugh and quickly attempted to cover it with a cough. “Marie, it is nice to see you, but could you please excuse us? I need time alone with Penny,” Noah said. He missed the irritated look Marie flashed at Penny.

  “Oh, Penny, are you sick?” she recovered, asking in a mock curious tone. “Do all these people watching bother you?”

  “No, I just got, ah, got a cramp in my hand,” she said as she dropped her gaze to her lap and rubbed her right hand. Noah took the hint, squatted in front of her and began to massage her hand.

  “We will be a few minutes,” he said in a tone that meant he was done talking to her. Marie spun around and retreated towards the bathrooms near the opposite side of the room.

  “I am better, Noah, really,” Penny said as she reluctantly tried reclaiming her hand. But his grip held firm. “Get up, you look silly.”

  “Did you see any faces?”

  Resigned that the striking man was also stubborn, she spoke, her voice low so that it carried to his ears only.

  “No. No other faces. Not the Shadowed Man’s. No woman’s face. Just doom and gloom, urgency and malevolence.” She closed her eyes and willed darkness to blot out the images. It didn’t work, so she opened her eyes, meeting Noah’s gaze. “I don’t think I’m a target. I think I would see his face. I hope I would…” Deep down she knew. At least not yet. The sapphire blue of Noah’s eyes sparked a memory. “He has pale blue eyes.”

  “I’m not sure that helps narrow things down. People can wear colored contacts.”

  He continued rubbing her hand.

  “Noah, you can stop with my hand.” He didn’t and smiled at her.

  “Massaging is supposed to help with cramps. Besides it being Valentine’s Day and all, holding someone’s hand is completely acceptable, yeah?” His smile and upbeat tone did not erase the concern from his face. “I will make sure you get home tonight. If you want, you can sleep in the bunker.”

  Sighing, she stood, the weight of the menacing images dragging her down. He kept hold of her hand as they walked back to the small stage and said, “Come on, Momma Bear. You got this.”

  With that, she managed to pull herself together to complete the rest of the night’s music.

  The remainder of that night and the few weeks that followed sailed by without any missing person alert or discovery of a body. It was unsettling - not knowing why the vision had struck. How soon would something happen? Would something happen?

  In addition to escorting her everywhere, which both annoyed and thrilled Penny, Noah was an almost constant presence at the Osborn household as he continued to help with the cub. She was annoyed because she was unable to behave how she normally did: drive herself, run through taekwondo patterns, do push-ups, walk around in comfortable clothes. But she was thrilled because they played more guitar (Edgar sat on Noah’s shoulder now instead of Penny’s), watched movies, cooked, and baked together. Noah often requested her French Toast cupcakes, and luckily, Penny was able to give more away than keep in the house. Those cupcakes called to her at all hours of the day and night, and since she was up most hours of day and night, the temptation to submit to the decadent blend of maple, cinnamon, and cream cheese in a tiny cake was too powerful to keep in the house for long.

  Lucy spent much of her time out of the house away from the pair, insisting she would rather help at the vet clinic than be a third wheel. Penny swore there was no reason for her to leave. Noah and she, sadly, had nothing more than a strictly platonic relationship. Standing firm, Lucy hoped her absence would encourage the relationship status to change into a more romantic one.

  Due to Noah’s pestering, Penny continued to attempt the recommended meditation. Although it neither incited additional visions nor clarified them. There were benefits to meditation, chiefly a calm mindfulness.

  It was during one of her meditative naps on the couch that her mother came home from work. Noah was also visiting, or rather snoozing on the opposite side of the couch, her leg pillowing his head. They roused at the sound of the door closing. Noah yawned and stretched before greeting her mother.

  “Anything I should be aware of?” asked Eelyn after he had left.

  “Nothing as exciting as a boyfriend, I assure you. He’s just worried about my visions,” Penny said, choking on her words.

  Seeming to take it in stride, Eelyn asked, “Are they getting worse? Changing?”

  Penny answered no to both. “But they are not getting better or less frequent.”

  Eelyn’s sharp gaze met Penny’s. “And you still think they could be connected to the seri…ah, deceased women?”

  Penny gazed down and chewed on the inside of her lower lip. “I think so. I don’t ever get any clues that might reveal who he is or where he might strike next, you know? They happen before a body is discovered or before he strikes. Or when he strikes? I don’t know. Noah is just supportive. Slightly overprotective. If he can’t protect everyone in town, then he will at least try to protect me.” She shrugged.

  “Is the man ever attacking you?” her mother asked.

  “No. Never a clear picture of his face. Army’s meditation isn’t helping.”

  Eelyn gave her daughter a hug. “Better to not take that level of companionship for granted. He is loyal.” She leaned back and searched Penny’s face. “But…not your boyfriend?”

  Penny sighed, and Eelyn took that as her answer. She patted Penny’s cheek.

  “The best things come to those who wait,” she whispered.

  “There is no vaccination for impatience,” retorted Penny, desperate to change the topic. “Have you seen that journal I bought for Lucy? The leather one from Christmas?”

  Pursing her lips, Eelyn shook her head.

  “Hmm, it’s missing.”

  “I’ll look for it with you later,” Eelyn rubbed Penny’s arm. “I have an emergency to see, and I need to get going. I’m sorry.”

  It was Penny’s night to cook and take care of Fjord. For once, Noah was not spending a Saturday evening with her, helping to feed the cub and play guitar. Apparently, he needed a break on occasion.

  Fjord was now eating more at one time and sleeping longer periods in between, so her chances of getting enough sleep were very good. The realization that there would not be garlic toast for her evening meal hit her midway through the preparation of the food. She cursed herself for forgetting. Her mother, in the shower, would not be of any help. Nor would Lucy, who was in bed with a headache. And so, Penny left a note and grabbed her coat to run up to the Dolores’ restaurant. No visions plagued her that day, nor in several previous days, so she felt comfortable going out on her own.

  As it was every weekend night, The FrostBite was busy. Dolores was working at the till when Penny walked up to pick up her order that she had called in during her drive.

  “Oh, I have it ready for you here, Penny. Do you need to rush off or can you stay to visit with Noah and the rest?” Dolores asked.

  “No, working on supper.” Penny smiled and refused the urge to look around the seating areas.

  “That’s too bad. I think he would prefer you visit,” his aunt commented as she rang up the bill. Penny met her eyes then glanced in the direction Dolores in
dicated with her head. She felt her heartbeat speed up at the thought of seeing him.

  The sight she focused on was not what she anticipated. Easily recognizable by his thick, curly black hair and the usual blue flannel shirt, he leaned against the far counter, facing away from her. Several other men and women that gathered near were familiar from self-defense classes or casual meetings with Noah. One of the women was Marie.

  Her mouth formed an oh as she saw Marie lean forward into Noah. Her far hand traveled up his arm and around his neck as she pressed herself into him. Penny whipped her head back to the till, thoughts jumbled.

  “No, Dolores, I think he is busy.”

  Dolores looked over quickly and slammed the till shut. She started to say, “Why that…” with the rest trailing off under her breath.

  Penny quickly turned to leave and heard Dolores yell something incomprehensible. The door’s loud chime reverberated in Penny’s ears as the images burned into her mind.

  Hey, you don’t know what was happening. There are two sides to every story, thought a supportive Lucy.

  Not when both sides had their arms around each other.

  No, Penny, he did not have his arm around her. She sidled up to him. Like a snake. Lucy’s thoughts trailed off into cursing.

  Penny’s thoughts grew dark and tormented. He did not push her away, so what did it matter? What could she do? Nothing. Go home and finish supper. Realizing she had blocked her sister, she opened her mind again, and Lucy’s comforting thoughts soothed her. Both remained quiet for the rest of the drive.

  As Penny walked through the door, Eelyn, having finished her shower, called from her bedroom, “Noah called. You left your phone here, so I answered. Sorry. He wants you to call him back.”

  “Sure, thanks.” Penny went back to the kitchen. She realized she was no longer hungry for her favorite dish. Her stomach roiled at the normally appetizing aroma of spaghetti sauce. The day Penny’s appetite for spaghetti disappeared was a bad day indeed.

  As Eelyn ate and Penny picked, she grew angry at Marie. Her mother tried starting several conversations, but with Penny aloof or short, Eelyn’s attempts ceased. Penny longed to hide in a dark place, so she created one in her mind, closing herself off from her sister in the process.

  While she was cleaning up the kitchen, an alert sounded on her phone. A message from Noah. She ignored it. His call came quickly after. She ignored it. Marie sent her a photo message in addition to several other messages. She ignored all.

  Someone could be hurt, Lucy offered.

  Then let him call Army.

  Eelyn heard the incoming messages and calls but said nothing. Penny muted her phone and threw it on the couch after the seventh chime. Just quit! she shouted in her head.

  You’ll have to talk to him tomorrow when he comes over for night duty, Lucy reminded her calmly.

  Penny’s response was a polar opposite to her previous outburst - silence.

  There followed no mental sigh, but Lucy began a melodic narrative of a recent science fiction novel that was by Penny’s favorite author. Around 2:00 a.m., Penny couldn’t help but check her phone. No further calls or messages since muting. She toyed with the idea of sending him a quick message of, “Sorry I missed you.” But then she scoffed at the notion. She had seen him…and her.

  She finally decided on: “Headache tonight. Talk to you later.”

  The next morning, she barely spoke to her mother or Lucy. Instead, she settled into a sullen silence. Fjord suckled on her hand, his high trill that normally made her smile failing. He rolled on the floor, tangling himself thoroughly in a blanket, attempted to rip an ear off his stuffed polar bear and growled at Blue. Blue only cocked his head at the less than ferocious ball of white blubber and fluff. Fjord bawled after her when she put him in his box.

  Half an hour before Noah was due to show for an early start to his night duty, Penny left the house for a run at the gym.

  As she approached the gym doors, she noticed Marie standing next to the treadmills with an older man and two young kids. She groaned inwardly and turned around, walking back to her vehicle. Not knowing where to escape to, she drove around the bland town a bit before heading home, taking great interest in any brightly colored (chipped and peeling) dumpster. She longed to walk along the beach, but the dark skies barred that idea. Just because she hadn’t had any visions didn’t mean she was going to look for trouble.

  Instead of parking at home, she parked at Army’s and jogged up to the house. It was only 10:00 p.m. and the lights glowed from the few small windows, so she figured Army was home and still awake. Army beckoned her in after the first knock.

  “Well, what are you up to this late at night, girl?” asked Army.

  Penny shrugged, unsure what to tell him.

  “Been having more visions?”

  “Not since the night we played at the lodge,” she admitted.

  “The meditation helping?”

  She replied with a one shoulder shrug.

  “I have been thinking on it, Penny. I still think this bear with the scars is your spirit animal or even guardian angel. One that can jump into a living creature’s body when necessary. Do you think that strange?” He watched her with a raised eyebrow.

  She sniffed, her expression salty. “Strange? You mean strange like having premonitions?”

  “I think extraordinary might be a better term for your visions, Penny. As for the guardianship idea, it would explain why you see him in your thoughts as well as in real life.”

  Thinking about the bear in that manner brought some manner of comfort. Provided the bear refrained from attacking her, either in the visions or in real life.

  Tapping her temple, she said, “Unfortunately I haven’t got a tap on his thoughts to confirm this theory.”

  “Well the more dangerous of the two in your visions is the unidentified man. You can monitor the bear,” he broke off waiting for her confirmation, then continued, “so he won’t be sneaking up on you at least. Either way, neither is a good reason to stop living life to the fullest. Embrace all challenges that you face and be thankful for what you have.”

  After wishing him a good night, she descended into the bunker to practice guitar, already deciding she would use Noah’s Gibson.

  Penny, come home. It is almost midnight. I am pretty sure Noah is dozing. You should be able to sneak in.

  Penny checked the clock to see that Lucy was right. Having done nothing more than strum chords for the past hour and stare blankly at the ceiling, it was probably best to just call it a night and try to get some sleep. She could sneak up into her room through the back door of the bunker. On the other hand, she could just sleep in the room with the hammock and twinkling lights.

  Whatever. You will need to talk to him some time.

  Penny dreamt of running through the snow while fresh heavy flakes fell all around her. She stopped to spread her arms out, catching flakes in her hands, on her arm. She heard a voice calling to her. A voice she recognized. One that comforted and thrilled her at the same time. As she looked around for the source, the wind rushed up, blowing the snow around her and blocking her view.

  “Penny, hey Penny. Wake up, Momma Bear.”

  She opened her eyes to find the most intriguing eyes gazing down at her. She sucked in her breath and wiped at the drool on her cheek

  “Hey, I saw you didn’t come home and thought maybe you wound up here,” Noah spoke, his low voice soft.

  “You checked my room? That’s a bit creepy, Noah.” She struggled to sit up, the blanket effectively binding her attempts. Noah tried to help, but she pushed him away

  “So, are you avoiding me?” he asked bluntly

  “No,” she replied. As she gazed up into his eyes, she felt the weight of her lie. “Yes.”

  He nodded. “It isn’t what you think.”

  She sighed, trying to extricate herself from the protective blanket. “Look, it doesn’t matter. If you like Marie and she likes you, then what does it matter what
I think?

  “I don’t like Marie. Not like that. Not like anything. And it does matter what you think.”

  Penny peered up sharply. She noted the intensity of his face matched his statement.

  “It sure seemed like you liked her more than a friend,” she said quietly.

  Noah was shaking his head slowly. “You didn’t see the whole scene. A few friends invited me out to visit, and she just showed up. She wanted to take a picture with me to send you. To encourage you to come out and hang with us. I agreed because I thought you would enjoy the guys I was with, but I also knew Fjord would keep you busy. Then I thought maybe you could sneak away for an hour. And she was persuasive, so I went with it. She started hanging on one of the guys who seemed fine with it. When she did the same with me, well, that was when you saw us.”

  Penny hated that the vision continued to flash before her eyes. She looked away and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to imagine a different scene, the one Noah was describing.

  “I heard Dolores yell and saw you walking out.”

  Penny saw that Noah did look bummed.

  “She is a looney, and I don’t mean a Canadian,” Noah said. “She went nuts after I pushed her away and started crying and lashing out at the guys I was with. Dolores pried her away from us and sat her down in a booth. Tried talking to her. She was drunk or…something. Punched Dolores in the chin.”

  “She hit your aunt?!” Penny asked, amazed.

  “Yes, but Dolores blocked the worst of it. I was worried you got the wrong impression. About me. I am…I am not like that. In fact, I consider myself unavailable.”

  “I was just shocked, I guess. I never pictured you with someone like her. I mean, she is super-hot, but just everything else about her didn’t seem like…”

  Penny’s relief made her almost floppy. She leaned back, but then the realization he had used the word unavailable worked its way through Penny’s brain. His nightmares must not have been improving.

  Noah’s intense eyes bore at Penny. “Who do you picture me with?”

  Penny looked away before her blush hit her full on. It was so strong she felt her scalp burn. She couldn’t look at him as she replied, “Oh, I don’t know. Someone like…more. Just someone more.” The temptation to ask was too strong. “Um, why are you unavailable?” She picked at the blanket.