Every Last Breath

by Juno Rushdan

  Thirst scratched at her parched throat. The only thing keeping her stomach from rebellion was the determination pooling in her veins as she inched toward the tree line.

  Never one for the outdoors, a pure city girl, Maddox had never been happier to reach the forest. She treaded lightly, scanning the area. The tacky gunk saturating her socks stung her skin worse than salt in an open wound.

  Leaning on a tree, she peeled off the socks. The soft grass was a staggering comfort.

  She trekked through the grass. Rugged pieces of bark and rocks bit at her feet.

  A violent thread of determination coiled in her core. She checked her smartwatch. The phone still didn’t work, but maps were online. West Virginia. Miles from a town. Following the river south looked like the best route.

  The more distance she covered, the more the unforgiving terrain rubbed her tender feet. The bubbling rush of the river was a welcome sound, opening a world of possibility in her chest. Clenching her teeth through the pain, she used the trees to steady her footfalls. All she wanted was a soothing bath, a hot meal, to take a break from the grind. She was running on fumes but summoned her anger as fuel.

  The Ghost had the upper hand again. If she didn’t get out of these woods and stop him, he’d succeed in unleashing a deadly virus. And that wasn’t an option.

  She quickened her pace, coiling the thread in her gut ever tighter.

  Chapter 31

  Somewhere along the Potomac River

  2:40 p.m. EDT

  For the three hours they’d been in the air, with no sign of Maddox, Cole endured ten thousand hells. He was on the verge of coming unhinged.

  Gideon’s steely composure never wavered. The guy was so guarded and laser focused, there was no attempt at reassuring chatter between them. Cole was grateful for the silence and the guy’s ice-cold poise lowering the temperature of the cockpit by ten degrees.

  The Potomac flowed through Virginia, Washington, DC, Maryland, up to Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The roiling river was over four hundred miles long and as much as eleven miles wide where it flowed into the Chesapeake Bay. Some spots along the bank were shrouded by trees, forcing them to do a second pass to be certain they hadn’t missed her.

  “Good news,” Castle said over the headset linked to the radio.

  About time. He needed good news. “Did Harper get into the phone?”

  “I’m putting her on now.”

  The airwaves went dead, crackled with static, then Harper said, “I got in.”

  Cole clenched his hands, heart skipping beats. “Where is she?”

  “She’s moving south slowly along the Potomac, West Virginia. I’d say by foot based on the speed. Not running, and much slower than the current would be pulling her if she was in the water. I’m sending the coordinates now.”

  “Moving? Are you sure?”

  “Without a doubt. The watch is moving. You guys should be able to vector to her position.”

  A chorus of hallelujahs blasted in his head. “Thank you, Harper. Thank you.”

  “Let me know if you need anything else.”

  Thank God. He wouldn’t need the shovel in the back to dig her out if she was above ground. His chest stayed heavy as if his lungs were made of iron, refusing to let in a full breath until he had eyes on her.

  Gideon altered direction, taking a hard left turn. Cole’s stomach flipped.

  He kept his hands curled into fists as they headed northwest. His nerves ran right on the edge. The coordinates were buried in a forested patch. Based on the trajectory of her signal, she was headed toward a clearing, where Gideon vectored to land.

  Cole glimpsed her wending past trees adjacent to the river. Ripping off the headset, he threw open the door and jumped from the helo before Gideon touched down.

  Maddox stumbled from the tree line, limping, her hair a windblown tangle of curls. He dashed across the field, unable to get to her fast enough.

  A sad smile broke over her smudged face. She reached for him, and he hauled her to him so powerfully, they collided. He crushed her against his body, lifting her from the ground.

  The rest of the world dissolved in a rapid rush of relief. Everything that was knotted inside him unfurled, and he held her tight, so tight.

  Nothing would keep him away from her ever again. Not her anger, not her hatred, not her stubbornness. She was stuck with him. Whether she knew it or liked it.

  Keeping his death grip on her, he showered her with kisses on her mouth, eyes, cheeks, his fingers curling in her hot-mess hair. He was overstepping, putting her mission on hold, and for once, she let him.

  “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you,” he said in her ear.

  “Think I’m letting you off the hook that easily?” Pulling back, she met his eyes. “No way. You’ve got some making up to do. A decade’s worth, mister.”

  “Just a decade?”

  “At least.”

  A penitence he was eager to pay. He set her down and stroked hair from her face.

  She cupped his cheeks. Their gazes held, with tears in her eyes. “I pushed you away because I was scared. I was hurting and lashed out. I’m sorry for not making you feel like I wanted you to stay last night. I did, but I was a coward.”

  “Honey, you are the bravest, strongest person I know.” Her courage and persistence put him to shame. He was staggered by her. “I gave you cause to be guarded, to be scared. But I swear, I’ll never give you another reason to doubt me.”

  Every day, he’d prove his love, if she gave him the chance.

  He gathered her in his arms again, for just another moment, allowing them both to appreciate the contact and the comfort. With Gideon watching and the wind whipping up nearby from the rotating helicopter blades, it put tangible pressure on them to get moving.

  Breaking the intimate hold he craved, he put an arm around her shoulders.

  She took a step and tried to mask a wince. He looked down at her bare feet, bloody and blackened. His heart gave a soft thump.

  He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the helicopter.

  “How did you escape? Novak called the DNI, said you were buried up to your neck somewhere along the river and we had until high tide to find you.”

  Sheer horror gripped her face. “He wanted to mess with you. Get into your heads so that the only thing you guys could think about was saving me instead of finding him.”

  “Well, it worked. I’ve finally decided how I’m going to kill him. It’s pretty gruesome, so I’ll spare you the details.”

  “You can’t kill him. We need him alive. He might have information about the mole.”

  There was more than one way to catch a mole. Novak was as good as dead. And it wasn’t up for debate. “Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”

  “I can’t go home.” She shook her head. “Besides, there’s no time. I have clothes at my office. We should go there.”

  They hopped into the back of the helicopter, and Gideon cracked the first smile Cole had seen. Sheesh, the guy really was far too pretty. Redefined the meaning of fair.

  “You done messing around? Can we go catch a ghost?” Gideon asked, his severe hardness falling back into place.

  “Absolutely.” She flashed a fatigued grin.

  Cole sat beside her, his arm draped around her and her head resting on his chest. Gideon radioed the Gray Box, giving them an update. Over the headset, Maddox filled everyone in on the true details of her abduction and confinement.

  Her tone, the way she spoke about the Ghost had changed, fucking softened. Compassion resonated in her voice.

  Didn’t she understand? One couldn’t have sympathy for a rabid dog.

  You just had to put the beast down.

  She guzzled two bottles of water, and he wished he’d brought more.

  Gideon set the helicopte
r down in front of the Gray Box so Maddox wouldn’t have to walk from the hangar, but Cole had no intention of letting her walk at all. He helped her from the chopper and lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the entrance.

  “When we get inside, you have to put me down. I can walk.”

  “I know you’re a badass secret agent, but your feet are pretty cut up.”

  “Badass operations officer.”

  “My point is I get that you’re capable, but think about the mess you’d make in that glossy polished lobby. If not for your own sake, then spare someone else from cleaning up your blood.”

  She sighed. “All right, but just to the elevator.”

  They entered the building, and the metal detector blared.

  One of the guards hustled to their sides. “Officer Kinkade, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She motioned to get down.

  Cole adjusted his grip on her, locking her body to his. She grimaced, not hiding her annoyance. Giving her a wink, he smiled.

  In the elevator, she struggled to stand. “This is embarrassing. And sexist. Put me down.”

  “Your feet are bruised and bleeding. If this were an alternate universe and you were a dude, I’d still carry you. I’m not letting you walk. Once your feet are bandaged and you have shoes on, you can go back to being Xena, Warrior Princess. Until then, I’m carrying you. End of discussion.”

  She had a backbone of steel and her independence was admirable. He just hoped she recognized that everybody needed someone to lean on from time to time.

  The fiery rebellion that he loved so much set her eyes aflame. “I’m only interested in fighting Novak today. You win for now, Hercules.”

  “Hercules? You see me as a mere demigod? I was thinking more along the lines of Superman.”

  She chuckled. “You’re aiming high.”

  “I sure am and have been ever since I met you.” He tilted his head and kissed her, soft and quick. She was safe in his arms. His heart swelled and filled. This was happiness. “I love you, Maddox.”

  As he waited for her to say the words back, he could feel the coiled tension in her body. Her muscles had been tight since they found her, understandably. They had to track down Novak. This might be an inappropriate time to pour his heart out, but their lives could end in a haze of smallpox-M today. And if her job was always this level of crazy, then every moment had to be treated as now or never. But he tucked away his irritation and impatience, set on not pushing.

  They still had heavy baggage, and the mission had to come first. The magnitude of her job pressed in on him as they headed toward the subterranean facility. To do her best, she had to leash certain emotions. When she was ready, in time, she’d say the words he longed to hear.

  She combed her fingers through his hair, and her eyes were deep and vulnerable. “Last night, I didn’t mean it when I called you meat. You could never be that to me.”

  “I know.” And he did. There was no need for her to tell him.

  “I was trying to protect myself, but it was selfish and wrong to say it. There’s no justification for disrespecting you like that.” She brushed her mouth across his. “I may have grieved and mourned, but I never let you go.”

  “And I hope you never will.”

  Her lips parted, and they shared a breath. In the shallow space between their mouths, want and need and—without a doubt in his hopeless mind—love rippled. Those emotions flamed and spread through him the closer they drew before she caught his bottom lip, licked the top, sinking inside. He absorbed the tender friction, the sweet warmth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers diving into his hair, and flattened her breasts against his chest as they both tried to get closer, feeding off the blooming spark.

  Arousal drizzled through him, every part of him coming alive with her soft, lean body pressed solid to him.

  The elevator stopped, and the heavy doors opened.

  They eased their mouths apart. He smiled at the longing that gleamed in her eyes.

  “Let’s get moving. We’ve got work to do,” she said.

  He planted a kiss on her nose. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Cole carried her down the walkway, and she directed him to the female locker room. The entire team, including Cutter, Amanda, and Doc, intercepted them before they made it that far.

  Once the flurry of exclaimed relief and questions slowed, Maddox held up a hand to silence them. “I’m fine. My feet look worse than they are.”

  “Let me take a look at them,” Doc said.

  “Thanks, but I just need a med kit and to get cleaned up so we can get back to work.”

  Just like his warrior princess. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Everyone parted like the Red Sea, and Cole pushed through the door of the locker room.

  “You can put me on the bench by the shower.”

  Gently, he set her down and cupped her cheek.

  “They have the essentials in here,” she said. “But I need my canvas bag from my desk. It has a change of clothes and my running shoes.”

  “I’ll be back in a minute.” He stood to leave, and she grabbed his hand.

  “Thank you. For coming to look for me. Finding me. I said awful things to you last night. I’m sorry.”

  “I deserved all of it.” He’d tell her a hundred times he was going to be there for her, but she had cause to doubt him. He had to put in the work and show her. “I’ll be right back.”

  He kissed her cheek and left the room. Posted like sentinels, the others stood in the hall.

  “Could someone grab her canvas bag from her desk and a med kit for her feet?”

  Harper motioned to go grab the stuff, but Cutter raised a hand, stopping her. “I don’t mind errand boy work. I’ll go.”

  “Thanks,” Harper said, more relaxed than Cole had seen her. Maybe she was warming to the guy.

  Cole gritted out the details of Maddox’s ordeal, bringing the whole crew up to speed.

  “Sounds like whatever he’s planning is happening tonight,” Sanborn said, “if he only needed us out of the way for the day. Let’s reconvene in the conference room and reevaluate the threat matrix with fresh eyes.”

  Everyone dispersed, except Sanborn and Castle.

  “We fixed your problem with the Russians,” Sanborn said.

  “Who is we?” Cole asked.

  “The United States government. We gave them the whereabouts of three unsavory individuals the Russian Mafia wanted far more than you. And we made it clear to the ambassador here that Nikolai Reznikov is dead. And you, Cole Matthews, are an American citizen and protected asset. The message was acknowledged and the trade accepted by the Kremlin.”

  And long may Putin reign. Tightness in Cole’s chest loosened. The Bratva didn’t fear the United States government, not even here on American soil. But they wouldn’t risk crossing Putin. “Good thinking to appease them with some bigger fish. Thanks.”

  Sanborn nodded. “It’s the least we could do for your help.” He strode off.

  Castle clasped Cole’s shoulder. “You did good finding her.” His hand fell as his gaze frosted. “But it doesn’t change my opinion of you.”

  “Duly noted.” Maddox’s opinion was the only one Cole cared about.

  “When I found out that you were alive, I almost killed you myself. That’s the first time I’ve ever let personal feelings come before the mission.” He shook his head as if still troubled by it. “Setting up Maddox to find Cole Matthews, without letting her know you were alive, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Sanborn was testing me. To see if I could do it. I almost caved.”

  Emptiness mowed through Cole. She’d said that she didn’t know he was alive before seeing him in person, and he’d doubted her. “This isn’t a game. Maddox isn’t a toy I’m playing with. I love her. I’m not going to hurt her again.”
>
  “That remains to be seen.” On that sweet note, Castle turned and walked toward the conference room.

  Castle’s gruff manner rubbed Cole like pumice stone, but her brother’s protectiveness and love for her had been beautifully transparent. Castle had cause to hate him. Cole needed to work on building a relationship with him as well.

  Cutter returned with her bag and medical kit. “Do you need anything?”

  “Any food around here?” Cole’s appetite had kicked in with gusto.

  “Janet is always bringing in stuff.” He beamed. “Homemade empanadas and snickerdoodles are in the conference room.”

  “Great.” Sounded good to his stomach. He took the bag and kit, then knocked.

  “Come in,” Maddox said.

  Pushing through the door, he spotted her, seated on the same bench. This time, she was clean, hair dripping wet, body enveloped in a towel.

  Her head hung low, shoulders hunched, saddled with emotional sandbags he wished he could remove. Had it been the ordeal of the day? Novak? Or was she still weighed down by everything between them?

  She didn’t meet his gaze as he sat beside her. Staring at the floor, she clasped the bench tightly as if hanging on to keep from tipping over.

  “Let me look at your feet.” He patted his lap and held up the med kit.

  Swinging her legs, she swiveled and put her feet on his thighs. Scrapes marred the soles of her feet, alongside red bruises that were going to turn purple and a few deep cuts. He drenched some gauze pads with antiseptic and dabbed the bottoms of her feet. She flinched but didn’t complain.

  She was strong and courageous, and he was the luckiest damn bastard in the world. She had a tough job, one he was starting to admire, and Novak wasn’t making things any easier. Emotion was a complication she couldn’t afford, and he finally understood why.

  He wrapped gauze around her feet as best he could without making it too bulky to pull on her shoes. “Finding Novak is the most important thing and I know you need to clear your head of everything else to focus on bringing him down.” His gaze met hers. “I just want you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help you. I’ve got your six out there. I let you down before when you needed me most. It’ll never happen again.”