Facing the Gray

by Carol Beth Anderson

  “Come on!” Narre said, pulling at Tavi’s hand.

  Tavi couldn’t take her eyes off Jenevy and Tullen. “I think I’ll sit this one out.”

  Narre’s brow furrowed, but she nodded. She ran outside, and Tavi closed the door.

  “You don’t like snowball fights?”

  Tavi turned toward the voice. Evitt stood a few feet behind her. She hadn’t even realized he’d arrived. “Did you walk through the snow to get here?” she asked.

  “I considered flying, but I thought today I’d walk instead.” He smiled.

  Tavi returned the smile. “You should join the snowball fight.”

  Evitt narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t you go out there?”

  She shook her head. “I wasn’t in the mood.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she said, “You know I’m not on the best terms with some of the people out there right now.”

  “I know. But I’ve been thinking about our conversation at Mr. Burrell’s house a couple of weeks ago. How you need to start living.”

  “Evitt, I think I can start living without having to join a snowball fight.”

  “I agree! But we’ve got to find some ways for you to have fun again. And I have the perfect idea.”

  “What is it?”

  “Ice skating.”

  She laughed. “I’ve never skated in my life! In Oren we sled a lot more than we skate.”

  “Then it’s the perfect time to learn! I know of a pond where they rent skates. The pond is shallow, so it should already be frozen. It’s about a half hour walk from here, but it’ll be good for us.”

  Tavi shook her head. “Evitt, you know I don’t leave the house unless I need to. It’s not just unsafe for me; it’s unsafe for anyone who’s with me.”

  He sighed. “That’s very selfless of you. And it’s also a convenient excuse to stay inside and not really live.”

  Tavi didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure how to.

  “Listen,” Evitt said, smiling again, “the pond is in the opposite direction from Mr. Burrell’s house. I can’t see any reason he or the other Grays would be there. Can you imagine Mr. Burrell skating, even if there was a skate pond inside his house?”

  Tavi laughed at the mental image. “Well, he might not, but I think Aldin would be all for it. And how do we know the rest of the Grays don’t live next door to this pond of yours?”

  “It’s a big city!” Evitt said. “Their headquarters wouldn’t be next to a public skating pond. We’ll be safe, and you’ll have fun. For once. Come on, Tavi, please say yes.”

  Tavi looked at him, and the hopeful grin on his face triggered something in her, a flicker of lightness she hadn’t felt in months. “All right,” she said. “Let’s go.”

  Tavi strapped the skates to the bottoms of her boots. By the time she finished, Evitt was already standing in his. She looked down at the thin blades attached to her feet.

  “I’m supposed to stand in these things?” Her scarf muffled her voice.

  Evitt laughed. “Well, yes, and then you’re supposed to skate in them.”

  Tavi patted the bench where she sat. “This bench is very comfortable. And stable.”

  Evitt stood in front of her and held out both his gloved hands. “Come on, I’ll help you. I won’t let you fall.”

  “You can’t promise me that.”

  “That’s true. How about this? I won’t let you fall alone.”

  Tavi thought about that for a moment and shrugged. She held out her hands, which were covered in red mittens, and Evitt took them. Once she was standing, Tavi was surprised how stable she felt. Her blades sank into the ground just enough to keep her steady. She kept hold of one of Evitt’s hands, but she thought she could’ve walked without his help.

  They reached the pond. A dozen people were skating, making it look like the easiest thing in the world. Feeling confident, Tavi stepped on the ice.

  It was as if the blades, which had felt sturdy and strong on the ground, turned into greased fish on the ice. One of Tavi’s feet skated forward, and the other took its own path, away from her body. Her torso wobbled like a bear standing on one foot on a stepstool.

  “Whoa, take it slow,” Evitt said as he tightened his grip on her hand and skated around to face her.

  “I’m going to fall!”

  “No, you’re not.” Staying in front of her, Evitt took her other hand. “Let’s skate.”

  He skated backward, pulling Tavi along. She continued to reel like a drunk woman for several seconds, but she soon found a position that worked, with her feet facing forward and knees bent.

  “That’s it! You’ve got it!” Evitt pulled her along, looking behind him every couple of seconds.

  Tavi watched his feet, which moved gracefully as he skated backwards, and compared them to hers, which were doing well just to keep her upright. “You’ve done this a few times, I take it?” she asked.

  “Just a few.” Evitt chuckled. “There was a shallow pond down the street from the house I grew up in. We skated there almost every day in the winter.”

  After a few minutes, Evitt moved to Tavi’s side, instructing her to hold his arm. He gave her pointers on how to glide her feet to accelerate and turn.

  After half an hour, Tavi said, “I think I can do it on my own.”

  “I think you can too,” Evitt said.

  Skating without something to hold onto was harder than she thought it would be. But she managed it, and she even tried pushing herself off to accelerate. The ice, which had seemed so frighteningly slippery at first, now felt delightful as she glided along its smooth surface. It was freeing. It was fun.

  “Ouch!” One second, Tavi was skating, contemplating trying some tighter turns, and the next, she was sitting on the ice. She knew her rear end would hurt once it warmed out of its state of numbness.

  “Oof.” To Tavi’s right, Evitt fell.

  “You too?” she asked.

  “Well, I promised you I wouldn’t let you fall alone.”

  Tavi laughed. She stood and held her hands out to Evitt, but when he grabbed them and tried to pull himself up, they both ended up back on the ice. It took far longer than it should have for them to rise since neither of them could stop laughing. People around stared, and for once, Tavi didn’t care.

  They skated for another half hour, then went back to the bench to take off their skates. A man approached them. He had a tray attached to his waist and shoulders with an ingenious contraption made of multiple belts.

  “Hot chocolate?” the man asked. “A quad each.”

  They looked at the mugs sitting on the tray. “It doesn’t look very hot,” Evitt said.

  The man smiled, closed his eyes, and took a sharp, deep breath. His bare hands glowed with golden light, and he put them around two of the mugs. Tavi and Evitt both stared, and in half a minute, the creamy, brown liquid in both mugs began to steam.

  Evitt handed the man a full chip. “Keep the change.”

  With a nod and a smile, the man gave each of them a cup. Even through her gloves, Tavi could feel its warmth. She arranged her scarf so there was an opening at her mouth, took a sip, and uttered a sigh of delight, echoed by Evitt.

  “What did you think of your first skating experience?” Evitt asked.

  Tavi smiled and took another sip of her drink, buying herself time to think of an answer. She swallowed and kept her eyes on the pond. “It felt like life.”

  She could hear Evitt’s smile when he said, “I’m glad.”

  “I hope my magic doesn’t take too long to return. I think half the reason I’ve been so grumpy is that I want to fight, and I feel helpless.”

  “You’re not helpless.” Tavi didn’t answer, and she felt Evitt’s gloved hand rest on her forearm. She looked at him, and he said, “You told me the story of your escape from the Grays. Your magic wasn’t what gave you the power to escape.”

  “Of course it was!”

  “No. Your magic was a tool, yes. But you escaped because you were smart enough
to think of new things to try and brave enough to try them. You’re still smart, and you’re still brave. Those are your most useful weapons. Not your magic.”

  Tavi tilted her head, studying his face. “You mean that, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.”

  They finished their hot chocolate, gave the mugs back to the touch-blessed man, and began their walk home.

  “Evitt,” Tavi said, as they trudged over slush and ice, “Will you please take Jenevy to Konner’s soon? We’re all getting stir-crazy. We want to do things as safely as we can, but we’re just ready to do something.”

  Evitt nodded. “I’ll try.”

  “Thanks.” Tavi took several steps before saying, “I have this great fear we aren’t strong enough to fight the Grays. We’re coming against people who can use their gifts in any situation. They don’t experience resistance. We can’t get gray magic because it’s evil. But how are we supposed to fight against it?”

  Evitt looked at her, but he was silent. She began to worry she’d said something to offend him, when he finally spoke. “Do you really think gray magic is evil?”

  Tavi laughed, but Evitt’s face remained somber. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” she asked. He nodded, and she said, “Well, of course it’s evil. They have to kill to get it.”

  “True. But aren’t there times when killing someone isn’t evil at all? When it’s even good?”

  Tavi’s immediate instinct was to deny his supposition with all her might; when she had seen her sister killed months before, it had been pure evil. But she took a deep breath and tried to think calmly. “Perhaps in self-defense,” she said at last.

  Evitt nodded. “Yes. And what about removing someone dangerous from the world? Would that ever be a good thing?” Tavi’s brow knit as she considered the question, and Evitt added, “And think about the dying Blessed that some of the Grays have killed. People who are living in misery, hoping to meet Sava. Is it evil to give them their deepest wish?”

  Hot tears stung Tavi’s eyes, and she wasn’t sure why. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m sorry,” Evitt said. “I don’t want to upset you. I want to stop Konner Burrell as much as you do. If anyone’s evil, it’s him, and he doesn’t even have gray magic. But I’ve been wondering the same thing as you. Is traditional magic enough to fight the Grays? Could someone gain gray magic without becoming evil? If I was sun-blessed, I’d be asking that question.”

  Tavi was more intrigued by his musings than she wanted to admit. Several things kept her up at night, but for months one thought had been at the top of the list. It was a question she wanted—needed—to ask Sava, if he existed. Why did I encounter resistance against the Grays in the forest that day?

  As she walked with Evitt, more questions took root in her mind. And they all started with the same two words: What if?

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  RELIN: I didn’t kill him because I wanted to. I killed him because he was worth more to us dead than alive. Had it been otherwise, I would have stayed my hand.

  -From Relin: A Play in Three Acts by Hestina Arlo

  Narre pushed open the trapdoor above her and took a hesitant step up one more rung of the ladder.

  From several feet below, Tullen watched Narre swivel her head one direction then the other, so slowly he imagined he heard her neck ratcheting. He wanted to cry out, “What do you see?” but he didn’t know if noise of any sort was safe. He tapped his foot, sending up puffs of dirt that settled on his shoes.

  It felt like he’d been waiting forever. To be fair, he knew Narre felt the same; she’d waited many weeks for this. Evitt had at last found time in his precious schedule to take Jenevy to scope out Konner’s house. And her visit had been as uneventful as the rest.

  The Golds had all agreed it was time to visit the shed. They’d dreamed of discovering information that would help them fight the Grays, but Tullen had silently predicted they’d find something mundane, perhaps an office as Evitt had suggested. Now here they were at the end of a secret tunnel dug out of the earth. It was like they were in a mystery novel, and Tullen almost expected to find an ancient castle dungeon at the top of the ladder. He was kicking himself for not exploring the shed sooner.

  After standing for at least a full minute while Narre peeked out of the hole in the ground, Tullen’s curiosity got the better of him. He reached out and tapped Narre’s ankle, just enough to get her attention but not enough to startle her. She looked down at him and descended the ladder.

  “There are trees all around,” she said.

  “That’s all you saw?”

  “There aren’t any lights, and I didn’t hear anyone, so I don’t think anybody’s out there.”

  “I think we should get out and look around.”

  “I think so too.”

  Narre climbed back up the ladder and pulled herself out of the hole onto snowy ground, followed by Tullen. They found themselves in a small copse of trees. When they stepped to the edge of the trees, they could see they were in the back yard of a large house. The house itself was a good fifty feet away from where they stood, and there were no lights on.

  “Do you think—” Tullen began.

  Narre put her index finger up to her mouth and pointed to the tunnel opening. Tullen nodded.

  Once they’d climbed back down, Tullen asked, “Do you think it’s the Gray House?”

  “I don’t see what else it could be,” Narre said. “This tunnel is the perfect way for people to get from Konner’s house to where they’re planning everything. No one would know.”

  “I think we should walk around the property,” Tullen whispered. “There’s just enough light from the moon for us to see where we’re going. If we stay close to the fences, I doubt anyone will spot us. We need to look at the front of the house so we can recognize it in the future.”

  Narre nodded. They climbed the ladder again, crept out of the trees, and made their way around the perimeter of the yard. A wrought-iron fence separated the back yard from the front. Tullen gave Narre a boost up, then followed her over the fence.

  They crept along the edge of the front yard, their boots crunching lightly on the snow. A gas streetlamp allowed them to see some features of the house, including the house number on the front door. Based on the direction they’d crawled, they knew they could figure out which street it was on.

  Without a word, they turned around. As they made their way back over the fence, through the yard, and to the tunnel entrance, Tullen used a pine bough he carried to cover their tracks in the snow.

  Back in the tunnel, Narre retrieved the lantern they’d left behind. As they crawled through the tunnel, they discussed their next steps. Was it time to bring in safety officers? As attractive as that idea was, neither of them believed the authorities would find enough cause to search the headquarters. Konner was too careful for that. They would have to get one of the Golds inside the house.

  The tunnel seemed longer than it had the first time, but at last, they reached another vertical shaft, where a ladder waited for them. Narre shuttered the lantern so it only emitted a thin beam of light. They climbed the ladder as quietly as possible. At the top, they emerged into the shed, closed the trapdoor and placed the rug and broken sawhorse back over it, and extinguished the lantern’s flame.

  Tullen pushed open the door to the shed, and they walked out. Narre placed the padlock back on the door, activated her touch gift, and used her magic to bind the lock back together.

  Tullen waved his gloved hands at her, wordlessly urging her to hurry. She could use her gift through her winter gloves, but not with any precision. So she was working with bare hands, and her magic was like a candle in the dark. This close to completing their quest, Tullen’s stomach was tight with worry. They had to make it back to tell the others what they’d discovered.

  Narre shook her hands to release her magic and jumped on Tullen’s back. He activated his stride gift and sprinted toward the fence.

  There had already been
plenty of footprints in most of the yard, but when they got within a few feet of the fence, Tullen again used the pine bough to smooth their prints. In the alley, he replaced the fence pickets and ran again. There were several icy patches in the alley, but his gift made his feet more stable, and they reached the street in seconds. Narre got down. They would walk the rest of the way to avoid attention from whoever else might be out at this time of night.

  After a few steps, Narre stopped. “Wait,” she said. Tullen stopped too. Narre patted her neck. “I dropped my scarf,” she said. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice until now.”

  Tullen didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed either; they’d been wearing their scarves over their mouths to protect against both cold and recognition. “It’s all right,” he said. “You can use mine. If they find yours, no one will know who it belongs to.” He began unwinding his scarf.

  “My scarf has my name on it.”

  Tullen gaped at her. “Your name?”

  “My mother sews name labels into everything.”

  Tullen took a moment to consider that, then said, “Let’s go back. I’ll run into the yard to look for it.”

  “What if it’s in the shed or the tunnel?” Narre asked. “Or even at the other house?”

  “If I can’t find it, I’ll wave at you, and you can come back and break the lock again,” Tullen said. “But if I can find it in the yard, I can use my gift to get back to the alley faster. I’m nervous about us spending any more time there than we need to.”

  “All right.” Once in the alley, Narre jumped on Tullen’s back again. When they reached Konner’s loose fence pickets, she got down. “I’m going to stand in the shrubs and watch for you,” she whispered. “Wave if you need me to come.”