Facing the Gray

by Carol Beth Anderson

  Tavi watched Ash enter the very path that led past her hiding place. He was the one coming from the direction of the back yard. He waited between the two rows of tall hedges, looking around furtively. The other footsteps grew closer, and then Evitt entered the path from the other end. He walked straight to Ash.

  Tavi’s brow furrowed in confusion. This was clearly a planned meeting, and a secret one. Ash and Evitt wouldn’t be seen from the main path, but Tavi had a good view of them. They began to talk, but it was too quiet for Tavi to hear. She reactivated her hearing gift, hoping her magic would last as long as she needed it to.

  “. . . quick,” Ash was whispering. “I think Konner was standing by a back window when I left. If he saw me walk around the house instead of going to the tunnel, he’ll wonder why. We’re lucky he didn’t see you hand me the note. What do you need?”

  “We need to assume Tavi and Tullen heard everything,” Evitt said quietly, “and that they’ll find a way to get more information.”

  Tavi flinched at the sound of her name. Her mind raced, even as she tried to keep up with the conversation. She could think of only one explanation for Evitt confiding in Ash, but she recoiled from it. He couldn’t be working with the Grays. He couldn’t.

  “It’ll make things a little more complicated,” Ash said, “just like when they made it into the Gray House.”

  Tavi blanched. If Ash knew they’d found a way into the Gray House, why hadn’t he stopped them?

  “But I think we can use this to our advantage,” Ash continued. “We just need to guide them toward the details we want them to know.”

  “That’s true, but if we were working with them, it would be—”

  Konner’s voice interrupted the conversation. “Ash,” he called, “are you out here?”

  Ash and Evitt both looked down the path, wide-eyed.

  “We’ll talk later,” Evitt whispered.

  Tavi watched them with growing panic. Clearly they didn’t want Konner to find them, and despite the shock of seeing Evitt conspiring with Ash, she found herself rooting for her friend. She expected to see him rush down the path to avoid Konner. What actually happened defied her prediction in a spectacular way.

  Evitt closed his eyes and took a quick, deep breath, holding it. His head began to glow like Sall’s—but, no, it wasn’t like Sall’s. Not at all.

  When Sall used his gift, his head glowed golden. But the light coming from Evitt was gray, like the subdued glow of a thundercloud, lit from deep within by lightning. Tears sprang to Tavi’s eyes.

  And then Evitt vanished.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  When a man learns he is to become a father, we see his true heart for the child’s mother. Some men are joyful; others cry, “Impossible!” Some are shocked but supportive; others leave, never to return. You will often be surprised which men react in which ways.

  -From Midwifery: A Manual for Practical and Karian Midwives by Ellea Kariana

  Evitt had been standing there, and then he was gone. Tavi couldn’t help it; she gasped.

  At the sound, Ash looked confused, and he swiveled his head to see where it had come from. A moment later, he gave a small shrug and called, “I’m over here, Konner!”

  Tavi had just a smidge of magic left, and she knew how she needed to use it. First, she moved her hands over her eyes, peeking through her fingers. Then she shifted her magic from her ears into her eyes. She prayed that her hands covered enough of the glow to prevent it from catching anyone’s attention through the hedge.

  Her sight gift worked just as she’d hoped it would. Evitt was visible again. Not visible as flesh and clothing, but as waves of heat, shimmering in the shape of the young man Tavi had thought she knew.

  It had been less than a minute since Konner’s voice interrupted Evitt and Ash. Now, the banker himself strode around the corner. “What are you doing here?” he asked Ash. “I thought you were headed back to the Gray House.”

  “I wanted a few more minutes of sunlight before entering that cramped tunnel,” Ash said.

  “Understandable. Come inside before you leave. We should discuss a bill I received. Either your household is ordering twice as much food as you need, or the grocer is cheating us.”

  “Sure.” Ash followed Konner. Tavi watched Evitt’s shimmering form move into a space between two hedges, preventing Konner from brushing up against him.

  As soon as the two men’s footsteps faded, Tavi spoke. “I can see you, Evitt.”

  He spun around, searching for the source of her voice. “Right here,” she said. “In the hedge.”

  Evitt approached and put his face right up to the greenery. Tavi couldn’t see his facial expression, but she heard him gasp.

  “Just release your magic; it’s useless on me,” she said.

  He did. With an immense sense of relief, Tavi let her magic go, too. She guessed it would’ve fizzled on its own after another minute or so. “I’m coming out.”

  It might be careless, but Tavi was sore, and she was mad. She squeezed out of the hedges and stood in front of Evitt. His eyes were wide; Tavi didn’t know if she was reading surprise or guilt there. Maybe both.

  “I should run out that gate and never speak to you again,” Tavi murmured, glancing down the path to make sure they were still alone. “But I want to know the truth, and you’re going to tell it to me. You know everything about this place; how can we leave without getting caught? Keep in mind I don’t have your convenient little gift.”

  “If we’re very close together, I can include you in my magic,” Evitt said. “I used to do it with friends. I just have to think about my magic covering both of us, and it will.”

  Tavi gave him a wary look. “How close?”

  “I’ll put my arm around your shoulders; you’ll put yours around my waist.”

  She nodded. “Activate your magic. We’re leaving.”

  “Wait,” Evitt said, “how can you see me when my magic is active?” She stared at him, and he must have read the depth of her disdain in her eyes, because he shook his head. “Sorry, not the best time for me to ask questions.”

  Evitt again closed his eyes and held his breath, and Tavi watched as his gray magic activated. She forced herself not to react when he disappeared, but it was terribly disconcerting. Then she felt his arm around her shoulder, and she put hers around his waist.

  Tavi looked down at herself. She was just as opaque as ever. “This isn’t working,” she said.

  “You’ll still be able to see yourself,” Evitt said. “No one else can, though. I don’t know how it works, but it does.”

  “Are you sure? Can you see me?”

  “I can, but no one else will be able to. Trust me.”

  Tavi turned toward his voice and arched an eyebrow. “Trust you?”

  “Sorry. Again. Let’s go.”

  They walked down the path, turning in toward each other so they would fit side-by-side. Keeping their footsteps as quiet as possible, they soon reached the front gate. The safety officer on patrol was facing the gate, so they waited, leaving the gate closed. All Tavi’s senses told her she was exposed, despite Evitt’s assurances otherwise. She held her breath as the officer passed the house and turned their way, but he appeared to look right through them, his expression bland and uninterested. They waited until he was past the house next door, and then they opened the gate, walked through, and closed it behind them.

  They didn’t talk as they walked down the street. Near the end, Evitt led Tavi behind a row of hedges, similar to the ones in Konner’s garden. A moment later, he was visible again. He took his arm off Tavi’s shoulders, and she pulled away from him.

  “I’ll lead the way this time,” Tavi said. She pulled her scarf over her mouth and strode back to the street. Evitt walked next to her without getting too close.

  “Tullen, I don’t know if your gift is active,” Tavi murmured, “but I’m coming to the café, and Evitt’s with me. Wait for us, please.”

  Evitt raised hi
s eyebrows at the words but he still didn’t argue.

  Tavi kept her eyes straight ahead as she said, “I’ve been thinking about all the conversations we’ve had, all the things you’ve told me and the others, and I see everything in a different light now.”

  “Tavi, I—”

  She kept talking. “You are despicable, Evitt.” She kept her voice level, her tone matter-of-fact, but she thought her anger might burn a hole in her chest. “I’ve had friends betray me; I suppose we all have. But I’ve never had a friend lie to me so regularly and so convincingly. You should congratulate yourself.”

  “Can I please—”

  “No.” Even muffled behind her scarf, the word rang through the crisp air. “I don’t want your explanations until we’re at the café. With Tullen.”

  Evitt pressed his lips together and nodded once. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

  The road in front of the café was closed to horses and carriages, full of revelers celebrating the new year. Musicians played in the street and people danced. That reminded Tavi of her night out with Evitt, and she gave him a scornful look.

  The café’s outside tables were all taken, and many customers stood with their drinks, unable to find seats. One small table in the corner, however, stood out. Two out of its three chairs were unoccupied. And the single customer there didn’t appear to be in a celebratory mood.

  Tavi led Evitt toward the empty seats. When Tullen saw them, he stood, crossing his long arms in front of his chest. As they drew closer, Tavi saw that he was directing his baleful glare toward Evitt alone. He’d heard at least part of their conversation, then.

  When they reached the table, Tullen’s voice, low and livid, emerged from behind the layers of his scarf. “Let’s sit.” He remained standing as Tavi and Evitt got settled in their seats.

  Tullen sat and turned his gaze to Tavi. His voice was still serious, but it was gentle too. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  It didn’t take long for Tavi to describe the events in the garden. When she reached the part about Evitt using gray magic to disappear, Tullen didn’t even look surprised. No, he looked furious. He turned to Evitt. “You’re a Gray.”

  Evitt’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he managed to blurt out, “I have gray magic.”

  “That’s what he said,” Tavi shot back. “You’re a Gray.”

  “I’m not a Gray. I’m working with Ash. Not with Konner.”

  Tavi and Tullen exchanged glances, hers exasperated, his still angry. Turning back to Evitt, Tavi said, “Ash is a Gray. That makes you one too.”

  “I . . . not exactly.” Evitt flung his hands out. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this.”

  Tavi glared at him. “I don’t care what you can or can’t believe; tell us what’s going on.”

  Evitt appeared to consider this for several seconds before he took a deep breath and said, “Ash is working against Konner now. Secretly.”

  Tullen leaned forward, every muscle in his face and neck taut. “You’re saying Ash won’t allow himself to be made king?”

  “I—I didn’t say that. He’ll make a good king, as long as Konner is out of the picture.”

  “Ha!” Despite the exclamation, Tullen didn’t sound amused at all. “He’s going to steal power, and then he’ll be a kind, benevolent king. Is that the plan?”

  Evitt bristled. “Well, you make it sound so ridiculous, but—”

  “It is ridiculous!” Tavi cried. A couple at the next table looked her way, and she lowered her voice. “I’m sure you think Ash will be a marvelous king, but the people should decide if it’s time for Cormina to get a monarch. If Ash is still planning to take over the country, he’s just as power-hungry as Konner is. He’s just nicer about it.”

  “We’re regressing as a nation,” Evitt said. “Ash wants to change our country for the better. We can’t wait until everyone wakes up; that might be too late! We were hoping you would see that. You too, Tullen. We’ve been hoping all the Golds would join us to get rid of Konner.”

  Tullen laughed again. “You can’t honestly tell me you thought you’d be able to convince us to join you. We came to Savala to fight against the Grays. You know that.”

  “Well, I didn’t think you were ready yet. That’s why . . .” Evitt stopped and glanced at Tavi, then looked down at his hands.

  “That’s why you befriended me,” she said. “That’s why you’ve been trying to convince me to convert to gray magic. You thought if you got me on your side, maybe the rest of them would follow.” It all seemed so clear, and she felt enormously stupid for not seeing it earlier.

  It appeared as if Evitt would respond to her, and she held her hand up. His mouth closed. “You know, you almost convinced me,” she said. She felt a lump in her throat, and she didn’t fight it. A tear made its way down her cheek. Her scarf caught it. “You know what happened to my sister. You know my weakness; I hate resistance.” More tears were flowing now, and it was harder to talk, but Tavi kept going. “You almost convinced me. I was standing in that wretched hedge today, considering how I would do it. Who I would kill. I don’t know if I could have done it. But you got me to think about it, and I mean really think about it, all the time, for months.”

  Tavi stopped talking. She forced herself to turn toward Tullen though she feared what she’d see there. It wasn’t what she expected. His cheeks were wet too, and she couldn’t read his expression, but it wasn’t the anger and disgust she’d feared. She turned back to Evitt.

  “I won’t ever consider it again. Today has taught me something. I’m not sure what you were like before you turned gray. But I’m guessing you were kind and good. I don’t think you could have pretended those things so well otherwise. Gray magic has turned you into a manipulator and a liar. I think it would do the same to me. Maybe we really can’t beat the Grays without having their kind of magic. But if I turned gray so I could fight them, I don’t think the victory would be worth it.”

  Their table was an island of pained silence in the middle of an ocean of celebration. Finally, Evitt spoke. “I did want to be your friend. I didn’t fake that.”

  Tavi gave him a sad, weary smile. “I hope that’s true. But you know I’ll never believe anything you tell me. You’re a liar. And you’re a murderer.”

  She knew the accusation was hypocritical, after she’d just admitted to considering murder. But he’d actually done it. And unlike Reba, he didn’t appear to regret it.

  “It wasn’t murder,” Evitt said.

  “You and I have talked enough about all the supposedly righteous reasons to kill someone. I don’t want to have that conversation again. You can justify it all you want. I don’t know who you killed or how you did it, but it was murder, Evitt.”

  He held her gaze. In a voice so low she had to watch his lips to understand the words, Evitt said, “I killed the man who killed Misty.”

  Tavi froze. The only sight her mind comprehended was Evitt’s face, and she couldn’t hear the crowds over the rushing sound of her own pulse.

  “What?”

  Tavi felt the word whisper from her throat, past her tongue and teeth, and through her lips; and she belatedly recognized she was the one who’d spoken. That broke the spell; the revelers were loud again, and Tavi looked away from Evitt to see Tullen, who was leaning over the table and looked just as shocked as she felt.

  Evitt asked, “Can I tell you the story?”

  Tavi felt herself nod, and Evitt began to speak.

  “I suppose I should start by telling you about my awakening. People were afraid of me. They thought I’d use my magic to watch them and learn their secrets. It was terrible; even my best friends started avoiding me.” Evitt looked at Tavi, who gave him a glare that conveyed just how much she cared for his difficult childhood. He cleared his throat. “To make a long story short, my mother and I moved to Savala. I didn’t want to use my magic at all, so I kept my gift a secret. You know what happened next; I began working for
Mr. Burrell and then the midwife house.

  “When Pala asked me to spy for her, I started noticing things. Like how often Ash went into that little shed. One day he came out of the shed and forgot to lock it. So I went in. I didn’t see anything important. I was about to leave when I heard someone walking up. I activated my gift, but not fast enough. Ash opened the door, and he saw me disappear.

  “He looked startled at first, but then he came in and closed the door. He stood in front of it and said, ‘I know you’re here. I know I’ve never seen a gift like yours. Now switch it off, and let’s talk.’

  “I didn’t know what to do. So I did what he asked. I released my magic.” Evitt paused, wetting his lips.

  “Keep going,” Tavi snapped.

  “Ash said he hated Konner, and he regretted ever working with him.” Evitt turned to Tavi. “He felt terrible about holding Narre captive for so long. Then when she got away and they caught you, he thought you were listening to what he had to say. But you escaped too, and he realized Konner’s way of doing things wasn’t working.”

  Tavi raised an eyebrow. “Kidnapping isn’t a good way to build rapport. Imagine that.”

  “I know it seems obvious, but Ash says it was almost like Konner had mesmerized him. It took time for him to see the truth. Then Konner started planning for a group to go to Oren and capture you again, Tavi. Ash pretended to think it was a good idea, but he kept finding reasons to delay the trip, hoping Konner would cancel it. Konner must have guessed what he was up to, because he said Ash had to stay home, and he hired a criminal to go instead.”

  Tavi clenched her jaw and kept her eyes locked on Evitt’s. He looked away. “I met Ash while that team was gone. He said with my help, maybe he could stop Konner. When I heard his story, I wanted to help him. Ash is a good man.”

  “Spare us the defense of Ash,” Tullen said. “You won’t convince us to like the man who kidnapped Tavi.”