Mr. Maybe

by M. Kate Quinn

  “What’s, uh, what’s all this?” Shane put his messenger bag on the floor and took a step closer. “Are you expecting company?”

  “Um…”

  “It’s okay if you are, because, um, I have to go out anyway.”

  “Oh.”

  “Kit, there’s something I have to tell you.”

  “Okay.” Her heart stammered in her chest.

  “Dana’s here.”

  “Here?” She swallowed hard despite her parched throat. “What do you mean here?”

  “She flew in on a red-eye last night. She’s at her apartment in Mountain Lakes.”

  “Did you know she was coming?”

  “No clue.”

  “Is she, um, home for good?”

  “I don’t even know. I guess I’ll find out, though. She wants to see me. Tonight.”

  Right now she wished she were in that kayak so she could flip it over and drown her stupid self.

  He closed the distance between them. “Kit, I had no idea she was coming. But it doesn’t change anything for me anyway. I just want you to know that.”

  She nodded, too afraid to open her mouth for fear of what she might say.

  “You believe me?”

  Suddenly all she could see was that mistletoe hanging from a thumbtack on the molding above Aunt Dee Dee’s dining room doorway. The snapshot of Brian holding Co-Co in his arms hung in her head like in a frame. There was no way she’d let herself go through anything like that again. Ever.

  Her gaze slid to Shane’s. Worry shone moist in his eyes. Shane was not Brian. She had long established that. Did she believe him? What was it Hop had said about taking a chance and believing? If you don’t believe, you’ll never achieve.

  “Yes.” She forced a smile she didn’t feel. “I believe you.”

  “Good.” His beautiful mouth curved into a smile.

  “What time are you meeting her?”

  He checked his watch. “Whoa, I better get ready.”

  He hurried through the rooms to the loft, leaving her alone with the sound of his quick footfalls on the steps.

  ****

  Shane had no idea what to expect. He stepped into the dark interior of Jabberwocky’s and scanned the room. Dana wasn’t here yet. His friend Larry from the academy was at the bar drinking a beer.

  “Hey, Larry.”

  Larry swiveled a quarter turn on his stool and extended his hand. “Irish.” He motioned toward the empty stool next to him. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this. Let me buy you a beer.”

  “Thanks anyway. I’m meeting someone.”

  “One of your lady friends?”

  He blew out a lungful of air. He didn’t like the implication that he had a couple of women on a string. But he wasn’t going to make an issue out of it.

  Larry chuckled. “Don’t ever play poker, buddy. Not with that face.”

  Dana walked in through the revolving door. She was dolled up in a clingy raspberry-colored dress, a long multicolored scarf trailing down the front of her. Her long brown hair was windblown and cascaded around her shoulders. She was a looker, that was for sure.

  “That one of them?”

  “Her name’s Dana.” He waved a hand. “Dana, over here.”

  Larry tucked his head and spoke low. “Which one is this one? The original or the new one?”

  “Original.”

  “Damn.”

  Dana came up to him and threw her arms around him. She squeezed close. Her perfume smelled heavy, as if she’d drenched herself in a bucket of flowers. He was reminded of the yellow flowers sitting in the glass jar on Kit’s table. She’d never said who was coming over for dinner.

  Dana pulled away and held him at arm’s length. “Look at you.” Her gaze traveled down his body in a slow, deliberate scan.

  Larry poked his head in between them. “I’m Larry, one of this guy’s friends at the academy. Just so you know, I’ve taught him everything he knows.”

  “Have you?” She proffered a coy smile, and Shane recognized the playful lilt in her voice. “I’m Dana.”

  “A pleasure to meet you, Dana.” Larry’s voice was syrupy sweet.

  “We’re going to get a table, Larry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Enjoy, kids.”

  He followed Dana to the hostess stand, and they were seated at a table and given menus. They ordered drinks, a beer for him and a glass of red wine for her.

  “Shane, it’s so good to see you,” she said when the waitress walked away. “Really good.”

  “You’re looking well.”

  “I’m looking well? Don’t you mean hot?” She tilted her head provocatively. “Tell me I’m hot.”

  A flush of heat climbed up his face. He was confused. What was this about? He took a sip of his beer. “Dana…”

  She leaned in close. “I came all this way to see you. At least tell me you’re glad I came. Are you happy to see me?”

  “I’m, um, confused actually, Dana. Why are you here?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  He shook his head.

  “You, Shane. I’m here for you.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Jabberwocky’s was crowded, but it always was at this hour. Kit made her way through the throng toward the bar. Every seat was taken. She hovered close, hoping she’d get lucky and a couple of seats would become available before Rylee got there.

  A man at the corner was paying his tab, and she inched closer to him. She could see others eyeing the coveted stools around the bar. He threw a couple of bills onto the wooden surface, pushed the stool back, and stood. When he turned around, she recognized him from when she’d gone to the firehouse to see Hop.

  “It’s all yours.” He motioned a hand to the seat.

  “Thank you.”

  “Hey, aren’t you the friend of Hop’s?”

  “I am. Larry, right?”

  Suddenly his face fell. “You’re the one that, uh, Shane Dugan’s renting a room from.”

  “I am.”

  She wondered why he looked like that.

  “Then you must be the pretend one, right? Man, that guy’s one lucky son of a bitch, I’ll tell you that.”

  “Excuse me? The pretend what?”

  He wiped the smile from his face. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a couple of beers and don’t know how to keep my mouth shut sometimes.”

  Her face flamed. She wished he’d go and prayed Rylee would walk through the door.

  Her insides clenched as she repeated her question. “What did you mean, though? The pretend what?”

  “Girlfriend. He told me about your arrangement. But don’t worry. I can keep a secret even if I’ve got a big mouth. But, yeah, he’s here with the real one. I mean the other one.” He pointed to the dining room.

  Her heart fell and landed at her feet, like a stone chipped and cracked from its sudden fall. Despite her head chanting for her to get the hell out of the place, she cast her gaze to the dining room, and there they were. Shane had his hand extended across the small square table as he held Dana’s hand.

  She turned around to find Rylee standing behind her. “Parking around the square’s nuts tonight.” She studied Kit’s face. “Now that I’m here, can you tell me what’s going on? Your text concerned me. I mean, aren’t you supposed to be making spaghetti carbonara for your fireman?” Rylee sounded confused. “What are we doing at Jabberwocky’s?”

  She looked into the dining room again. The couple was standing now, and Dana, small and fit, was in Shane’s embrace. She craned her neck, lifted her hands up to his cheeks, and pulled his head closer to hers. She planted a kiss, and his hands went to her teeny-tiny waist. Kit’s insides turned to cement, and her lungs suffered for air despite her attempts to suck some in.

  “Kit.”

  She’d forgotten for a second that Rylee was even there. All she could do was stare at her friend.

  “Sweetie, what’s going on?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Tell me.”
/>
  “Not here. Let’s go.”

  “Go? Go where?”

  “Anywhere but here.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Shane gently pushed Dana away to disengage the kiss.

  “Didn’t you miss this?” Her eyes shone with tears. “Maybe we don’t have to be over, Shane. We were good together, weren’t we?”

  “Dana, don’t do this.”

  She took a step away and folded her arms across her body. Her mouth bunched sideways into a pouty knot. “You’re no fun anymore.”

  “I’m sorry you came all this way. I thought our FaceTime conversation made things clear.”

  “It did, I guess, but I wanted to see for myself if we’re really over.”

  “You didn’t come all the way across the pond for that, I’m sure.”

  “Well, I did.” She clucked her tongue. “Okay, yes, I’m renting out my condo, and I had to sign some papers, meet the tenant, arrange for storage of my things, and all that. But seeing you was a priority, too, Shane. I had to see you.”

  “Dana, I appreciate that, I really do. But we can’t let ourselves forget what got us here. We’re on different roads. Don’t you agree?”

  “No.” She fiddled with the scarf around her neck. “I don’t know. Okay, yes, I suppose so.”

  He reached over and pulled her hand into his. “I only want the best for you. And you’re going to rock it in Milan.”

  A smile broke out across her mouth. “It’s exciting.”

  He let go of her hand. “I wish you nothing but the best, Dana.”

  Her mouth turned downward. “It was a long way to come to officially say goodbye, I guess.”

  “I’m glad we had the chance to talk in person, then.” He offered her a smile. “Milan agrees with you.”

  “Grazie.” The compliment perked her up, and that flash returned to her gaze. “I do love it there.” She tilted her head and eyed him. “Shane, we sure messed this up, didn’t we?”

  A wry smile curved his lips. “Not really. I think we just needed to admit we’re two different people wanting two different things.”

  “And you’ve found someone that wants what you want, I gather.”

  It wasn’t a question. She was stating a fact, only he didn’t know how to respond without making matters worse. “Maybe we both have?”

  She hadn’t exactly said she was seeing someone new, but she might as well have. She had mentioned how electric it was when she was in the company of someone with similar life goals. That was one thing he and Dana could agree on. Spending time with Kit had proved the theory.

  “Is there a chance you’ll move there permanently?”

  She shrugged. “There are variables. But for now, I’m on board for the rest of the year.”

  Shane wondered if one of those variables wore a Rolex. He simply nodded. “Good for you.”

  “And how about you after you complete the academy? When do you move into your apartment?”

  Right now he couldn’t imagine not waking up to the smell of coffee wafting out from the kitchen and sharing a cup with Kit before they started their mornings. The idea of leaving her place ticked at his insides like a kind of breakup. They were just getting started, and he did not want to let go.

  “I just heard that my apartment’s ready ahead of time. I could move in next week if I want to.”

  “Well.” She gathered her purse and the sweater she had wrapped on the chairback. “I need to get some things done before I fly back. Thank you for dinner, Shane.” She wrapped her arms around him. “Be happy.”

  “You too.”

  In a moment she was gone, and he was grateful they had had the chance to talk in person. Despite the business with her condo, it was a long way for her to come to say goodbye, but now he was glad she had. There were no regrets, no bitter feelings, and he was excited at the thought that his path to his future was free. He couldn’t wait to see Kit.

  On his way out of Jabberwocky’s, he saw that he’d received a message on his phone. He slid a finger over the face of the device to reveal a text from his buddy Larry.

  Hey. Just making sure you’re okay. Never know when both your women show up at the same time. Give me a holler, Casanova.

  His heart stalled. Both women? Had Kit come to Jabberwocky’s tonight? What had she seen, or worse yet, what had she thought she’d seen? He didn’t even take the time to respond to Larry’s text. He hurried to his truck and drove straight home.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  When he got to the house, his belongings were tossed onto the front stoop in a haphazard mound. His Mets throw was folded over the railing. His insides fell in on themselves.

  The front door was locked, and when he inserted his key to open it, a chain stopped him. The deadbolt was on. Shit. Her car was there. She had to be home.

  “Kit. Open the door.” He pounded with his fist.

  “Go away.”

  “Come on, Kit. Let’s talk, please. Take off the deadbolt.”

  The door was cracked open, the lock’s chain taut, and she peered into the space. “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want an explanation. I don’t want to see you. Now, get your crap and get off my property.”

  “Not until you talk to me.”

  “I’m done talking.”

  “Don’t do this, Kit. Please open the door.”

  “Oh, and you are relieved of your duty to accompany me to my cousin’s wedding. I’m going alone.”

  “Alone? What are you going to tell everybody?”

  “That we broke up. Simple. Show’s over, Fireman.”

  “It hasn’t been a show for a long time now, Kit. You know that.”

  “I know nothing.”

  He detected a catch in her voice, and it killed him to think he’d upset her this much. “Dana’s gone. She and I had a talk and said our goodbyes.”

  “Please just go.”

  “Did you hear me?”

  “I’m done listening to anything you say, Shane.”

  “But what about us?”

  “Like I said, show’s over.”

  “Nothing happened.”

  “Goodbye.” She closed the door.

  He knocked, but she did not respond. He didn’t know how many minutes he stood there on the porch before he finally collected his belongings and carried them to his truck.

  He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Larry’s number.

  “How you doing, Irish?”

  “What did you say to her?”

  “Who?”

  “Kit.”

  “Nothing really. I gave her my barstool when I was ready to leave.”

  “That’s all?”

  “I told her you were in the dining room with the other one. Did that make her mad?”

  “I need a place to stay for a few days.”

  “I’m sorry, man.”

  Shane blew out a lungful of air. “It’s not your fault, Larry. This is my doing, not yours. Can I bunk at your place?”

  “Oh man, you went from two women to none. That’s got to be a record.”

  Shane closed his eyes. “Can I come over?”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  He ended the call and waited in his truck for a moment to see if by any miracle the front door would open. It did not. Finally, he started the engine and backed out of the driveway.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Shane carried in a change of clothes and his toiletries, walking past Larry at his open door. “Thanks.”

  “All I’ve got is the couch.”

  “That’s all I need.”

  “How about a beer, too?”

  They sipped their beers, sitting on the long couch that would later be made up as Shane’s bed.

  “My apartment is ready early.” Shane took a swig. “They said I can move in as early as next Wednesday.”

  “Stay as long as you need, Irish. I feel like I’m partly responsible. So what happened anyway? Did the real girlfriend confront the pretend one?”

>   He groaned. “Please stop referring to them that way. Dana is the one who works in Milan.”

  “She’s hot.”

  “And Kit’s the one I’m renting a room from. Or at least I was.”

  “She’s really hot, too.” He whistled low. “Smoking.”

  He flashed him a look. “Seriously? Is that fireman talk? Describing women in terms of fire?”

  Larry shrugged. “Ha, funny. But I couldn’t help noticing, bro. I have eyes.”

  He shook his head and took another swig of his beer. “So in a nutshell, Dana and I are through. We’ve been over, talked about it via FaceTime, but now we had the chance to say goodbye in person.”

  “She came all the way here from Europe to tell you that?”

  “No. She’s extending her time in Milan and is renting out her place and had some things to take care of. But as far as she and I are concerned, like I said, she and I already had a conversation about going in separate ways. But I think she got worked up about my moving on and took the chance to talk face-to-face. We ended on a good note, though.”

  “Is she one of those types who doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anybody else to have you?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. Dana’s got a hell of an ego, but she’s a smart lady. She’s got a lot going on, and she’s thinking of making Italy a permanent thing.”

  “And where does the other one, um, Kit, fall into this?”

  “I’m in love with her.”

  “You’re what?”

  “You heard me. I’ve fallen for her like a ton of bricks.”

  “How does she feel?”

  “She hates me.”

  Larry shook his head. “We’re going to have to get some more beer.”

  ****

  Kit paced through the rooms of her house while her mind spun with all the craziness that she’d lived since the day Shane Dugan showed up.

  Rylee had told her to stay calm and hear Shane out when he came to explain. Well, she wasn’t in the mood for any explanations. She’d seen what she’d seen. She was so pissed at him she could spit, but she was angrier with herself for taking a chance on him.

  Damn Hop and his advice, too. Believe and you’ll achieve. Such bullshit. Words like that worked when you were rock climbing or whatever spelunking was, but it wasn’t meant for matters of the heart. At least not her heart. Her one overworked muscle. She was going to give it a rest, a good long one. A decade or two at least.