Her Last Memory

by C. A. Wittman

  "What baby?"

  "Ramani's. She was pregnant."

  "I… I wasn't in the know about that."

  Dora slowly leaned back as a sense of awareness swept over her. "She must have lost it then. No one's brought up the baby since––since all of this amnesia stuff."

  Steve took a big gulp of his wine, still feeling jittery over Dora's secret conversations and meetings with Darpan.

  "I thought maybe I'll go see him," Dora said. "Find out why we were meeting."

  "Would you like me to come with you?" Steve tried to keep his voice calm, well modulated, but he was desperate to find out. Did Dora know something and decide now, after all these years, to set the record straight? Her eyes snaked to the side in that private way she had of observing people. Her mouth tightened. "No. I better go on my own. He might not talk if you're around." Dora stood and stretched, gazing around. "This is such a nice house, so much light. And the view." She smiled shyly.

  Steve took a breath, trying to mentally bat the earlier conversation away. "Would you like a tour?"

  "Oh, you don't have to."

  "I'd like to." He smiled and she smiled back, eyes locking with his a moment before making a quick up and down scan of his body and darting her gaze away. Steve blushed, his emotions on a rollercoaster. Was Dora just checking him out? The thought sent a thrill through his belly, a pleasant stabbing sensation in his groin.

  "I think you'll like the kitchen," he said, leading the way.

  * * *

  They wound up at the pool, feet dangling in the adjacent hot tub. Steve had made margaritas and they came out a little sour. Their conversation turned to the past, the vernacular of their youthful teen slang falling in and out. He and Dora had slipped easily into the part of their friendship that was effortless and comfortable, like a well-worn pair of jeans. Steve could detect a mild attraction that wafted over them like a subtle scent.

  The greyness of the sky had darkened into early night, the sun making a brief appearance in the afternoon before disappearing behind a wall of clouds. Dora crossed her arms and Steve was about to ask if she might like a sweater when Tera suddenly appeared, Sheena bounding ahead, coming to sniff curiously at Dora. The rottweiler's big wet nose inspected the rim of Dora's glass and then pushed up against her neck. She patted Sheena's head and smiled lazily at the dog.

  "There you are," Tera said.

  Jesse, Laird and Sara traipsed out to the backyard moments later, staring at Steve and Dora curiously.

  "Mom?" Sara's eyes were a squint of confusion.

  Tera batted away a lock of her hair, her expression inscrutable. "Did you two have a good visit?" She asked. The tension in her tone belied the casualness of the question.

  Jesse, in a long sweater shirt, tights and UGG boots, scampered over to them, overjoyed. "Are you staying for dinner?"

  Dora's eyes darted over to Tera and she shook her head no, turning to get up and missing his outstretched arms. A look of hurt clouded his eyes.

  "I should get going," Dora said, without even a hello to the children.

  "Whatever." Sara muttered and marched back into the house.

  Laird had started to remove his clothes and Tera was suddenly busy with him. "No, no, no. We're not swimming. I'm going to make dinner."

  Steve removed his feet from the tub and stood, trying to rescue the situation. He felt a little tipsy. But the way Dora was acting made his throat feel tight with anger.

  "You might want to say goodbye to the kids," he called after Dora. He meant to keep his tone light, but his voice came out hard and firm. Dora glanced over her shoulder at Jesse and stared at him for a moment as if he were an afterthought.

  "Yeah. Sure. See you." She gave a little wave, and then to Steve, "How do I get that car service? Can you help me?"

  * * *

  They fought after dinner, Tera's face red, her brown freckles splotchy looking against the flush of her anger. She didn't like what was happening. She didn't like that the kids no longer seemed to have a schedule anymore. She didn't like how cozy he and Dora looked when she found them at the jacuzzi. But most of all, as a mom, she didn't like how Dora treated her own kids. Appalling. What kind of mother doesn't say hello to her own children? Ignores them when they try to hug her and says goodbye with such indifference, as if they were just any old kids, someone else's kids.

  “They are someone else's kids!” He finally yelled back at Tera. Tired from his day with Dora. Tired from too much alcohol and tired of Tera yelling at him. “They are Dora's kids,” he said, bringing his voice down to a hiss, “and Dora doesn't exist anymore.” Tera stiffened then, looking over his shoulder, and he had a horrible sinking feeling. When had Jesse come into their room? His son stood in the doorway, in a pink nightgown, blond hair gleaming over his shoulders, face pale.

  "Jesse," he started to say, but Jesse turned and fled.

  "She's not ready to be around her children," Tera said in a fierce quiet voice. "You need to talk to Erica about Dora getting more help because this is child abuse."

  Tera's words were like a liquid heat that burned right through him. Child abuse. The mental image of his son standing in a pink gown flashed through his mind. Dora's brief glance at Jesse and the utter lack of emotion on her face, like he was no one to her. Child abuse.

  Steve slept in a different room that night, tossing and turning. Maybe he ought to have the kids come live with him. But would Tera go for that? Erica wouldn't, he was sure of it. But Erica wasn't their legal parent, and Dora was not Dora. The thought of a custody battle and going to court made him think of Darpan. Steve's stomach clenched with fear and anguish. What had Dora known?

  38

  Serene - June 1996

  * * *

  Kanani came to a halt in the doorway, Serene almost walking into her. When she peered around Kanani's shoulder, she saw Taylor emerging from her kitchen. Serene stepped around Kanani.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I stopped by to say what's up.” Taylor flashed them a smile, but her eyes skipped away in sudden search of her shoes. She was wearing those shorts, the ones that rode up really high. When Taylor bent over to retrieve one of her sandals, the crotch of her shorts hugged her private parts suggestively, the flesh of her bottom exposed. Shoes on, she straightened back up, breasts loose and springy in a very sheer yellow top. Serene could make out the outline of their shape and the pink areola of her nipples.

  This unexplained visit was perplexing. She and Taylor weren't friends on that level. Yeah, sometimes Enzo wooed her and Steve over with food and Taylor would be there along with Julie and other friends of Taylor and Enzo's who Serene didn't know that well. But Taylor at her house?

  “Anyway, I'll see you later,” Taylor said and moved toward the door. She seemed a bit breathless.

  “I thought you said you stopped by to say hi,” Kanani spoke up.

  Was anyone home? Serene wondered. The door had been open when Kanani tried to unlock it.

  “Oh, hey, Taylor?” Darpan said from the kitchen.

  His sudden presence made Serene do a double take. She hadn't realized he was home, too.

  “I think you dropped some money on the floor.” He held up some folded bills and grinned, his face flushed. When he strode over to them, Serene could see he was sweaty, strands of his hair sticking to the sides of his face, and there was a pungent odor emanating from under his arms. Taylor took the money silently and tucked it into the back pocket of her shorts.

  “She was waiting for you, man,” Darpan said to Serene. “I was just gonna fix us a smoothie.”

  “I have to go now,” Taylor snapped and she slipped out the door before Serene could ask anymore questions.

  “Want a smoothie?” Darpan offered.

  His smile was… something. Not real? What was he doing making smoothies downstairs anyway? Darpan had his own private kitchen.

  “Lots of bananas and blueberries.” He coaxed. He still had that strange look on his face.

&n
bsp; Kanani eyed him and then kicked off her slippers before heading wordlessly to Serene's room.

  “How about you?” His eyes shone a little too bright. He looked desperate.

  “No,” Serene finally said. “Are you going to be using our kitchen now?” With Aarav gone, it seemed likely, Serene thought with a sinking heart.

  “I was just trying to keep your friend company. She was waiting a while for you to show up.”

  Serene didn't know how she hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it was the way he shifted his stance. The fabric seemed bunched up oddly around the front of his pants. She thought it was the fabric ballooning out, but no, he had an erection. His eyes followed the direction of hers. Turning away clumsily, he tried to appear casual and headed back for the kitchen. Serene scurried to her room. After she shut the door, Kanani grabbed her wrist, eyes wide.

  “Oh my god, you see that?” Kanani whispered.

  Serene nodded, feeling numb.

  Kanani gave her wrist a firm squeeze. “You think––” but she never finished her question because Serene snatched her arm out of her friend's grasp.

  “I don't want to talk about it,” she hissed.

  Kanani leaned back against the wall, turning her hands so that her palms pressed against it. Serene sank down to her bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.

  “Fucking pervert,” she said quietly.

  “I know,” Kanani muttered. “You see those hundreds he give her?”

  Serene hadn't looked carefully at the bills. The implications were sickening.

  “You think she dropped it?” She asked Kanani, not really wanting to know the answer.

  Kanani shrugged.

  39

  Steve - June 1996

  Steve let his leg dangle out of the hammock, using his other foot to push off the ground, creating a rocking motion. Serene had gone into the house to find snacks and grab the pitcher of fresh lemonade Ramani had made earlier in the morning. Being out in the yard and talking of fresh lemonade made him think of Serene's grandmother, Barbara, and he felt a small pang of nostalgia and a little guilt. He hadn't thought of her too much since she'd passed away, but when he did, his mental images of Barbara were strong and overpowering. Their friendship had been comfortable, effortless and intellectually stimulating. He'd developed a deep affection for his older neighbor. She was like an adopted grandmother, yet it was never hard to imagine Barbara as the younger woman she once was, or as a kid. Barbara had carried a vitality about her, a thirst for learning and understanding things, an open mind. She hadn't been afraid of change, or the fact that young people and society were doing things differently from how she'd been raised. He'd never heard her lament over such things. Instead, innovation made her eyes grow bright. She loved to speculate about what directions new technological advances in computers, phones and space shuttles might take.

  Now here he was, doing things that Barbara might not approve of to her granddaughter. Steve blushed, hoping that Barbara wasn't in some kind of spirit form, able to see all the sex he and Serene had in her house. He batted the thought away, telling himself not to be an idiot. These days it was rare for him and Serene to get any privacy. With Kanani always around, their one truly private space had to be set on ice. But today they'd lucked out. Kanani and Dylan went to Venice and Ramani and Darpan had gone out somewhere. And Aarav moved out days ago. He and Serene hadn't wasted any time. The first round of lovemaking ended in under a minute––his bad. But there'd been a second, third and even fourth round until they'd utterly exhausted themselves, building up an appetite and a thirst for something ice cold.

  A familiar laugh drew Steve out of his thoughts.

  "You're paranoid," a girl said. It was Taylor. Steve stilled the hammock.

  "Shut up," Enzo shot back. He sounded surly and irritated. They were just beyond the fence that separated the two yards. "Don't tell me I'm being paranoid. You walk around with everything hanging out for everyone to look at, flirting with the other mens when everyone knows you belong to me."

  "First of all, I don't belong to you."

  "What are you saying? You're not my girl?"

  "I didn't…"

  "I asked you to be my girl, no? You said yes, no?"

  "That doesn't…"

  "You walk around in the hoochie clothes. Your cheekies hanging out, teasing the mens."

  "What?"

  "You heard me."

  "I'm not your wife, Enzo!"

  "No. And I would never ask you. You're too easy, anyway."

  "Maybe you're just not enough," Taylor hissed.

  There was a loud smacking sound and then quiet.

  "Did you fuck him?"

  "Let go of me. You're hurting me."

  Steve sprang up from the hammock and went to the fence line, standing on tiptoe to look over. Enzo had his hand on Taylor's upper arm and a blossom of red splotches was spreading across her left cheek.

  "Hey," Steve called out. Both glanced his way, some of the tension breaking between them. Taylor wrenched her arm from Enzo and ran into the house. Enzo kicked at a bench and cussed, then went after her.

  "What are you doing?" Serene had returned with a pitcher of lemonade and a bag of organic cheese puffs. Steve met her at the round patio table he used to sit at with her grandmother.

  "I just heard Taylor and Enzo fighting. I think he slapped her. When I looked over there, he had her by the arm."

  Serene set everything down, frowning slightly. "They argue a lot."

  "They do?"

  "Yeah. But it's not your business."

  Steve's face grew warm. "He hit her."

  "Taylor's always causing problems," Serene said, her features growing rigid.

  "But it doesn't give Enzo the right to hit her."

  "Look, brah, you don't want to get involved in Taylor's problems. She goes and says things all the time that make people huhu. If you get involved, the next thing you know you're fighting her battles."

  Steve used to think Serene's lapse into Hawaiian pidgin was cute, fun. But lately she only used it when she was angry with him or talking to Kanani.

  "It's never okay for guys to hit girls."

  Serene shrugged and went back into the house for the glasses. When she returned, she placed the glasses on the patio table and poured their lemonade before taking a seat. Steve still felt riled up over Serene's laissez-faire attitude.

  "I can't sit back and watch a guy hit a girl."

  Serene took a long swallow of her drink and opened up the bag of cheese puffs.

  "What, you're going to ignore me now?"

  "No," she said coolly. "I just don't want to talk about Taylor."

  "You don't care about women being abused?"

  "How did we get there?" Serene gave him a dark look, her eyes a silty black.

  "I'm not a fan of Taylor, but…"

  "No. You're not." Serene snapped. "It's why you went break it off with her, brah."

  There was something different about Serene's demeanor that Steve had never seen before. He didn't like it, this strange masculine energy.

  "Stop calling me brah. I'm not your brah."

  She raised a brow and then threw back her head and laughed. It was a harsh laugh. "Okay, whatevas, Steve."

  He could feel the anger roiling in his belly, a kind of impotent rage.

  "I'm gonna take off."

  Serene popped several cheese puffs in her mouth. "That's too bad," she said, her mouth full. "But maybe if Enzo give Taylor one slap, he had a reason. You ever consider that?"

  Taylor, sitting on his dad's lap, flashed through Steve's mind, and he wanted to ask what reason Serene was hinting at, but couldn't bring himself to question the reasoning of a boy hitting a girl. It was wrong no matter what. Enzo hitting Taylor, grabbing her arm, was wrong.

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, from his bedroom window, he watched Serene leave her house on her skateboard without even a glance in his direction. Her complete and utter dismissiveness left him feeling sligh
tly panicked. He couldn't imagine Serene not being a part of his world, or him a part of hers. Who was that girl he was just arguing with? This other side of Serene he'd never seen before?

  40

  Barbara - March 2020

  * * *

  The swanky sounds of classic jazz drifted through the house while Cuppa made breakfast and Erica sat on the sofa, legs crossed, typing something on their laptop. Barbara sat at the kitchen table with Dora, sipping coffee, her mother with a hot chocolate. The sudden desire for hot chocolate every day was one more thing that was different about her mother. Dora's top of the line espresso machine sat on the kitchen counter, unused by her. She'd loved making the perfect cappuccino. Now, oddly, she drank Nestle’s Quick. Barbara stole glances at her mother every now and then, wondering what she was thinking as she blew on her drink and gazed absently in the direction of the living room.

  "Have you been keeping up with this virus in China? It looks like it's spreading," Erica said, frowning down at their screen.

  Cuppa set a platter of steaming eggs on the table and Barbara got up to help her bring in the rest of the meal.

  "It's terrible," Cuppa said. "The other day I went to meet Lin and Clair to talk about their spring wedding. They just flew in from Singapore." She made a face. "I must admit, I was a little," Cuppa scrunched her mouth, looking for the right words, "put out. I know I'm acting paranoid, but I found myself sort of keeping my distance," she added apologetically.

  Erica frowned and typed something, their eyes scanning whatever they'd pulled up. "There are only a few cases in Singapore. And with Wuhan completely closed down, I think they should be able to get it under control."

  "Yeah, but there's been cases popping up in Europe, too. Whole towns in Italy are shutting down." Cuppa licked a smudge of butter off her pinkie and rubbed her finger on her apron before grabbing the platter of bacon.