Shadowed Fire (Veil of Midnight Book 1)

by A. Vers

  He grabs my hand and pulls me with him towards the rear of the warehouse. Every step is harder than the last, and if not for the miracle of Nix running at my side, I would stop completely.

  Somehow we make it out of the back door to the warehouse as several black and white cars whip into the parking lot around front.

  Nix urges me into a overgrown section of brush. “Cops,” he says, eyeing the group of darkly dressed humans as they sprint toward the building. He squeezes my hand. “Come on, we need to get out of here.”

  I nod.

  He tows me with him as he ducks slightly and continues through the thick brush and high weeds.

  Before long we find ourselves parallel to train tracks, and Nix helps me down a steep embankment. We set off at an easier pace, and I force myself to take a deep breath and assess the damage.

  Though everything hurts, it pales in comparison to the ache deep inside.

  With the dawn, all the crimes I committed during the night seems worse. More vivid. I sniffle and wipe my eyes, disgusted at myself.

  “You okay?” Nix asks.

  His hand is no longer in mine, but the narrowness of the tracks forces us to walk side by side. Every few steps his shoulder brushes against mine. It steadies me in a way that I don’t quite get.

  “You told me that your Magisterum commissioned feir for you because you could kill easily.” I peer at him sideways. “Why is it easy for you?”

  His crimson head turns and he gazes out down the otherwise empty tracks. “Killing isn’t easy for me, Sayah.” I blink in surprise. “I kill because I have no choice. As a Hallow, I’m hired to go after the worst kind of supernaturals imaginable. But even after nearly fifteen years, in every situation, I always have to ask—me or them.”

  “It sounds selfish when I say it out loud, I know. But these beings do a lot more wrong than I ever could merely by taking their life.” His brows knit. “But it’s not an easy decision. And I never take it lightly. Killing Rorick’s people in the Void…that was easier. I knew I had to protect Chol.” He glances at me. “I had to protect you.”

  My stomach flutters stupidly. “I killed two of Rorick’s men before I found you. And I burned him, Nix. I burned him with my seraph fire for what he did—” I break off. “How much do you remember?”

  He grimaces as his hand goes to his stomach. “Enough.”

  I wince. “I’m sorry I didn’t move faster, Nix. I—”

  He stops walking to look at me like I sprouted a second head. “Are you insane?” My eyes widen at the incredulous note in his voice. “You saved me, Sayah. Again. You have nothing to apologize for. Ever. Do you understand?”

  My face flames before I can stop it.

  His whole body seems to droop, and his features soften as he takes a step closer to me. “I can never thank you for what you have done to help with Chol. Now I owe you two life debts. Mine and his.” His russet hand smoothes over my jaw to lightly cup my face. Heat pours from him again as his thumb caresses back and forth along my skin. “I am eternally in your debt. Please do not ever apologize for the sacrifices you have had to make in order for me to be standing here. And I will never ask you to.”

  Sunshine, leather, and ash pour from his skin so close. I want to nuzzle into his palm. To lean into him; to have him hold me. But he is right, saving him feels selfish. Like I committed a great wrong because I could not bear the thought of a world where Nix was not in it.

  But this is the man he can be. The protector I had to save in that warehouse, regardless of if it was good or bad. But he’s a Hallow too. A killer.

  And now so am I.

  Giving in to one urge, I clasp his hand where it rests on my cheek before moving away with a nod. “Okay.”

  He lets his hand drop slowly back to his side as his lips curve. “Okay,” he echoes simply, and as long as he is near, I know it is.

  Chapter 36

  At the consulate, all hell has broken loose it seems.

  Warriors rush back and forth in the foyer, their pace frantic and their faces lined in worry.

  Nix and I exchange a glance. “Chol.” We say in unison and start sprinting for the stairs.

  “There you both are.”

  I freeze.

  Mother pushes through the crowd, Father and Erem tight on her heels. She stares from Nix to myself, her eyes widening and her skin blanching with every darting sweep.

  Erem reaches for Nix, then lets his hand fall. “Where have you been?” His tone is harsher than I have ever heard it.

  Nix’s brows knit. He searches his mentor’s face. “We need to talk.” Erem blinks. “In private.” He turns to me and bends down.

  “Thank you, Sayah,” he whispers, and I flush as his warm breath flows over my ear. “Don’t let them push you around too much. Chol either.” He hesitates, hovering beside me. There is a warm press over my cheek before he pulls back completely. My hand flies to the spot. If I thought my face was hot before…

  I peer at him as he steps back. His fiery irises gleam with heat, but he merely bows to me and turns away.

  Erem, Mother, and Father watch us, their expressions marked with surprise, but none as much as the older Hallow when he looks between us before Nix walks off. Erem inclines his head to me then follows his prodigy without a word.

  I cannot help put watch Nix go, his vibrant hair stunning in the foyer lighting. Or maybe it’s the thick muscle in his back now visible through the remnants of his shirt.

  “Sayah?”

  My head jerks around, face on fire. Mother raises a brow.

  “Sorry. Is everything okay?” I ask.

  Her expression turns wry. “You were missing all night.”

  I gulp. “Ah. That.”

  “I’m going to say you were with Phoenix?” Mother says as Father asks, “Do you want to tell us where you went?”

  I can almost imagine all the wayward things they no doubt believe we were doing. And from our fatigued, dirty, and ragged appearance, I get why.

  My mouth opens to tell them everything. Then Nix’s words filter into my mind, and I can’t stop my small smile. “We went hunting for the ones after Chol,” I say simply instead.

  Father’s mouth opens and closes, his hazel eyes flinty. “Sayah—”

  “With that taken care of, I’m going to go check on Chol. Then probably sleep.” They exchange a look, eyebrows high. “I love you both,” I add fast, and mother’s expression softens. “But I’m grown. So just know that we took care of it, and I’m fine.” I hold my arms out in emphasis.

  I wait for the tirade of questions. Or…something. When nothing comes, I lower my arms.

  Mother turns a bit and looks at Father, something like ‘see’ in her expression. Though his jaw flexes, he gives a brief nod.

  “Okay, Sayah. We’re glad he’s safe now,” Mother says softly, laying a hand on my arm. “And we’re glad you are too.”

  I can only gape at both of them.

  She gasps, hand flying to her mouth. “Oh I completely forgot,” she exclaims, “Consul Ellmeck wanted to speak to you as soon as you got back.”

  Father wraps an arm around her shoulders, drawing her back to him as he continues to appraise me. “Let Sayah get some rest, love,” he murmurs to her. “When she is rested, she can debrief Ellmeck on everything that happened. She’s going to have to get used to it.”

  We stand there in silence. His hazel irises are still dark with emotion, but the rest of his anger seems to have faded overnight.

  “Why wait?” I say and his lips tremor. “If I’m going to get used to pulling long hours, better to start working on getting through the fatigue now.”

  He smiles. “Then go on. The sooner you’re done, the sooner you can sleep.”

  I grin back.

  Maybe this all really will be okay.

  “Thank the Gods above for that,” I say and mean it. I kiss Mother on the cheek and give Father’s arm a squeeze before slipping deeper into the madhouse of the consulate.

 
Oddly, it feels just like home.

  ***

  I find Consul Ellmeck near the back training yard, Mage Velnor at her side. They both look up as I approach.

  Ellmeck rakes her gaze over my appearance before smirking. “You look like you fell on the wrong end of a wood chipper, Nieddu.”

  “Something like that,” I say, unfazed by her jab. “I was told you wanted to see me?”

  Still smiling, she nods. “Your Father came to me with a rather interesting proposition. I take you on here at the consulate as a warrior—”

  “And you will train under my tutelage for your magick,” Velnor chimes in.

  I glance between them. “What’s in it for you?”

  If possible, Ellmeck’s smile broadens. “I get another warrior.” Her tone says it’s what she always wanted. “I can always use another magick user, Nieddu. You train under Velly here, and when you’re not with him, your ass belongs to me.”

  Though Velnor turns puce at being called Velly, I have to admit, even he appears pleased with the notion.

  “All for a new consul’s wage, of course,” Ellmeck adds. “You will have free room and board here, with access to all of our facilities. But the choice is yours—”

  “Yes,” I say fast. She blinks at my exuberance, but I reach out and shake her hand with more force than is probably necessary. With Rorick dead, Chol can go wherever he wants. Nix too. If I stay topside, I can see them easier. Be around them whenever I have a moment off. That’s the only payment I need.

  My friends.

  Everything else… Well, we will work all that out once everyone is done breathing normally for a few weeks.

  “When do I start?” I ask.

  Velnor offers me a surprisingly warm smile. “We will allow you three days to get settled here. So…dawn the following day?”

  I nod. “Yes, sir. That’s more than fair.”

  He beams, and I realize despite all his power, he is a rather well rounded chap. “Then we will see you then.” They nod and move off, leaving me practically bouncing in place with joy.

  Now I just need to tell Chol and Nix.

  I rush for the front stairs and hope they are both still awake.

  Epilogue

  While Chol heals, we all take turns spending time with him. Everyone but Nix.

  It seems he and Erem had quite the heated argument the morning we got back. Nix walked out of the embassy, leaving Chol and myself without a word.

  Erem hasn’t said anything, but if not for Marlec, I believe he would have left too.

  I try not to let it bother me. Whatever happened… Nix is grown. And he is more than capable of taking care of himself. But if I’m being honest, at least with myself, I miss him.

  So with my few extra days of freedom, whenever I’m not at the prince’s side, I’m exploring my new home and the unfamiliar world around it.

  Growing up in the Void, I’ve become accustomed to the dark. Even with the illusions just outside the embassy, it doesn’t compare to a real sunrise. Not in person.

  On the second morning, of my mini-break, I climb outside my new bedroom window onto the small section of roof. Earth is louder than home too. And I know it will take time to get used to it, but for now, I find I don’t mind the roar of distant technology. Or how all the lights compete with the vibrant glow of the sun.

  It’s cooler today, and I’m grateful for Lady Marlec and the wrap she gave me yesterday. One of many gifts in thanks for bringing her son through the Void safe and sound.

  I pull the thick material tight around me and rest my chin on my knees as the sky lightens with a pretty wash of pinks, oranges, and golds.

  Out of the corner of my eye, a dark shimmer moves through the rear of the consulate grounds. Shrouded in black, I would recognize the pulse of crimson with my eyes closed.

  Nix.

  I sit up, ready to wave at him.

  But he moves farther away, leaving the compound.

  He’s leaving again?

  Pain lances through me. I rise to my feet, anger spiraling through the incredulity that he would go again so soon. Without telling me why.

  Not happening.

  Sprinting to the edge of the roof, I feel for the downspout with my boot. It clanks softly. Shimmying down, I leap onto the nearby rail of the second story balcony and vault down to the first floor ledge. The ground is hard under my feet, and the breeze is less extreme as I land in the garden below. I run across the yard.

  Small saplings and a handful of decorative evergreens hide some of the rear brick wall of the consulate. Offering a mediocre amount of privacy, but no places for the Hallow to hide from my amhara.

  “Nix!” I hiss as I get closer.

  The shadowed fire stops, and he goes very, very still.

  “I can see you, damn it. Where are you going?” I snap. “Hells, where have you been?”

  Slowly, the shadows move from his form, leaving a clear view of the Hallow underneath.

  No longer clad in street clothes, Nix has shed his human guise. Once more in his Hallow armor, his veil is up over the lower half of his face, leaving nothing but vibrant eyes rimmed in dark circles. Like he hasn’t slept in days.

  I reach for him before I can think about it. “Nix—”

  He pulls back and yanks his veil down. “What do you want, Sayah?” His jaw is set in a hard line. Resolute. Wary.

  I blink at his tone. “I saw you…from the roof. I—”

  “Chol said you’re staying topside. Here at the consulate.” Again that note of ice. “Congratulations.”

  “Ellmeck offered to let me work as a warrior here. With Rorick dead—” He winces. It’s a small motion, but it screams across the space still between us. “I thought you and Chol could stick around for a while, you know? Maybe we could spend some time—”

  “Together?” he snaps. “What are you going to do when he has to feed again, Sayah?”

  My temper sparks and I put my hands on my hips. “What’s with you?” I ask. “You’ve been MIA since we got back and now this? Look, whatever happened between you and Erem—”

  “He’s my father!” Nix’s voice echoes into the trees around us. I stare at him, lips parting. Shock ripples through me. “He’s my father, Sayah. Erem is my father.” With that final word, the shadows around him disperse completely and he sits down hard on the ground.

  With his forearms on his knees, he hunches inward, glowering at the earth.

  I crouch slowly beside him. “Nix…I don’t understand. What happened?”

  His eyes lock on some distant point. Something only he can see. “Remember what Rorick said?” He scowls. “I thought I would ask if Erem knew who my father was. And do you know what he said? He said he’s my father, and he never told me.” Fire rolls through his eyes. “Even when…” His jaw mottles and his fists clench.

  Hesitantly, I lay my hand over his. His skin is scalding, burning with his anger. His fury. I lean forward and grip his cheek, turning him to look at me. “I’m sorry he never told you, Nix. But that means you never hurt your family, right? That has to be a good thing.”

  “I killed two innocent people, Sayah, because I couldn’t control my magick. I didn’t have it bound as a kid. Not like you. It ripped from me when I was angry or scared. Erem knew it would happen. Knew it and did nothing to stop it. He didn’t even want me!” He pulls away, going to his feet again as his frustration builds. “He walked away when I was an infant, leaving Rorick and his wife to take me in. They didn’t know what he was. What I would become.”

  He rounds on me. “I killed them. Gods above, for what?” he asks fiercely. “So my power would grow? So I could become a Hallow? Like him? Like Rorick?”

  I rise. “Nix…if you hadn’t-- What about Chol? What about—” I stop myself. Since the night he burned, my head has been a mess of thoughts about him. But he doesn’t need that now. Not now. “You said it yourself, you kill to save lives. How many innocents have you saved?”

  A tick starts in his cheek.
“And look at everything it has cost me,” he says, with no joy left in his voice or expression. “Almost twenty-three years of lies, and four years of my life, Sayah. Four years without the brotherhood. Without a home. Safety. While we ran from Rorick and—” He looks away. “I can’t. I just can’t right now.”

  My heart skips a beat. “What are you saying?”

  He peers sidelong at me. “I’m going back to the Keep. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. But I can’t be here right now. I can’t be around Erem. Not knowing—” He grimaces. “I’m sorry.”

  “Nix—”

  “Goodbye, Sayah,” he murmurs, and starts to turn.

  I lunge, grabbing his arm with both hands. My heart thunders against my ribs, and I can’t seem to draw a breath. The world swims as it sinks in. He’s really leaving.

  ‘I just can’t right now.’

  My eyes close. “Okay,” I whisper before tilting my head back to meet his gaze.

  He looks down at me. “Okay?”

  My eyes burn and I hate myself for it. Hate how much I need him to be around. “Yeah,” I say, with more conviction than I feel. “You need time. I get that. Do what you need to do. We’ll be here, okay?” Every word hurts. But, with a start, I realize as lonely as I have been in the past…it’s nothing to how alone Nix probably feels now. I can’t make him stay. Have no right to even ask him to. But I can be here when he decides to come back. However long that takes.

  He searches my face, his carnelian eyes seeming to grow brighter for a moment. “Okay.”

  I offer him what is probably the weakest smile—I have ever given anyone—before stepping back. My hands fist in the hem of my new wrap. Anything to keep from reaching for him again.

  “Okay,” he says again. Shadows begin to flow over the ground, pooling around him in a soft, impenetrable haze. I watch as the shadows reform until the last thing visible is his eyes. Eyes that seem to see right through to the very heart of me. A heart that wants to fracture right down the center.

  With a final sweep of my face, he nods once, lets the darkness close over him, and is gone from my human sight.

  For a heartbeat, I consider pulling my amhara up. Of trying to find him. But some magick…you don’t really want to see it.