I'm Pretty Sure You're Gonna Miss Me Ronin McKinsey

by M. J. Padgett

My shoes squeaked in the hall, echoing loudly without it being filled to the brim with teenagers talking and yelling. When I arrived at the gym, I was surprised to see the lights on already. My uncle didn’t usually come in until after the first period, his planning period. I opened the double doors and found Tee wobbling on a ladder, trying very hard to reach one of the green balloons that somehow managed to wedge itself between a hanging light and the wall.

  The ladder wiggled a little too much, and he toppled from the top rung. I ran toward him as fast as I could and caught him at the last second. Thank goodness he wasn’t one of the larger guys on the team, or we would have both splatted on the gymnasium floor. Still, he was heavy, and I dropped him shortly after catching him. He landed with a thud on his butt, but he recovered fast and leaped to his feet.

  “Dang, you’re freakishly strong for a girl,” he said, adjusting his glasses, so they weren’t askew on his face.

  “For a girl?” I asked, somewhat teasing since I knew there was no way Tee meant to insinuate girls could not be strong. “I am a cheer captain. I’ve had to do some catching in my day, not to mention throwing girls in the air.”

  “Came out wrong, I swear. I’m just impressed you caught me, and grateful. Thanks, Hazel,” he said and climbed the ladder again. “Can you hold it? I almost had that little booger.”

  “Why are you here? Why are you catching balloons for me?” I asked, steadying the ladder as he climbed. He felt terrible for me, I knew it, but I didn’t want the pity.

  “Because Ronin was kind of a jerk about this yesterday, and I told him it wouldn’t be hard to fix. The problem is, now I must prove it isn’t difficult to fix. It turns out it is. I don’t know what you’re gonna do, Hazel. I’ve been here an hour, and I’ve only been able to get like fifty down.”

  Tee was a real sweetheart, and I made a mental note to do something special to thank him. “Ah, I had an idea on the way here. Hang on.” I ran to the janitorial closet in the girl’s locker room, quickly found a broom, but no luck with nails. I did find an old screw that had fallen out of one of the door hinges, so I figured that would do just as well since it was sharp. I duct-taped it to the broom and jogged back out the door.

  “Here, it’s a harpoon.” I handed it up to Tee, and he stabbed a few balloons. I caught them as they fell, and it became a sort of game. He’d pop them, and I’d try to catch them until we’d made significant headway. In all, it took another two hours to get most of them down.

  My uncle walked in, took in the remainder of the balloons, and said, “Why’d you pop them all? We could have used them for the pre-game pep rally.”

  I smacked my forehead, wishing I’d thought to ask that before getting up two and a half hours early for school.

  Tee descended the ladder, harpoon in hand. “Well, I guess my work here is done, assuming you want to leave the rest?”

  “I guess it’s fine. Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it, Tee, really. You’re Ronin’s best friend, so it was really cool of you to step up and help me.”

  “I’m your friend, too.” He shrugged slightly and untaped the screw from the broomstick. “Sometimes, he can be a jerk. You were just trying to be nice, maybe a little overboard, but he still shouldn’t have yelled at you for trying to be sweet.”

  “I’m glad you think so. My sister and Sara think it was nuts,” I admitted.

  “Well, it was a little nutty, but that doesn’t make it unsweet. I’ve gotta get to class. See you at lunch?” He handed me the broom and screw with a little head nod.

  “Sure, at lunch.” I put the items away and rushed to class after hearing the warning bell. First period was with Sara, and I wasn’t looking forward to telling her she was right. She did try to warn me not to blow up so many balloons, but as usual, I ignored her suggestion and plowed ahead.

  I slid into my seat moments before the bell rang. Sara was flipping through her textbook when I landed, and she glanced up at me. “Oh, you’re here! I missed you this morning. Where were you?”

  “With Tee in the gym popping those stupid balloons.” I sighed, best to get it over with right up front. “Listen, you were right. It was a bad idea, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have gotten into an argument with Ronin last night.”

  “Oh, Hazel, I’m sorry. I take it that means your anniversary plans were a bust?”

  “Definitely. He didn’t even want to look at me after Tanner teased him about the balloons, let alone... you know,” I said, suddenly glad I hadn’t handed my virginity over to Ronin earlier in our relationship. Maybe I didn’t want someone so freaked by balloons to be my first. What was I thinking?

  “Tanner is an idiot, but I think maybe you would have gotten into the fight anyway. Hazel, I love you, but sometimes the things you do are a bit much. It can really make a person feel smothered.” Her statement wasn’t intended to hurt me, but it did.

  I stuffed my face in the textbook and didn’t speak again until class ended. Sara barely noticed she’d hurt my feelings, and by the time class was over, she’d forgotten entirely. “So, have you spoken to him since last night?” she asked.

  “No, but I did order him an ice cream cake from Fire and Ice, our place. I’m gonna pick it up after class and deliver it to him myself. I just hope the apology iced on it is enough.” I didn’t go into the details of what Rose told me. For some reason, I didn’t want my best friend to know Ronin intended to break up with me. For all I knew, Ronin might even break it off at school well before I could deliver my apology cake. It made me nervous every time I thought about it, so I had to swallow down the anxiety that tickled my throat.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Maybe he needs time to cool off before you try to apologize in your typical Hazel way?” she asked.

  “Of course, he needs time to cool off. That’s why I didn’t call him last night. But what harm can come from delivering food as an apology? I’ll just drop it off and head home, that’s all. He can decide what he wants while he’s eating,” I reasoned. “And if he’s eating an ice cream cake from our place, maybe it will help him remember the good times.”

  “Wait, why would he need to remember... Hazel, did he break up with you?” I’m not sure why, but her face did not match the concern in her voice. Her voice sounded supportive, concerned, shocked even, but her face appeared downright happy.

  “No,” I said, “but Tee told Rose he planned to today.”

  “All the more reason not to bother him. Let him figure it out, then let him come to you. Trust me,” she said.

  “Maybe you’re right. It’s too late to cancel the cake, though. Want to come over this afternoon and eat apology cake?” I asked. “Chocolate and strawberry?”

  “Sure, why not?” Sara slammed her locker door closed and followed me down the hall. Everywhere we went, people snickered or stared. For goodness sake, balloons in the gym couldn’t be that funny, but it appeared people couldn’t manage to act like adults. A few more people pointed and laughed as we turned the corner, forcing me to wonder if something else had happened... like Ronin telling everyone he planned to break up with me.

  “Sara, what is going on?”

  “No idea, but it feels like trouble.” She looked around, catching people staring and laughing everywhere. I felt like the punchline in a joke I never heard, standing in the middle of the hall with hundreds of eyes on me.

  “Hazel!” Rose rushed up to me. “What have you done? I thought we agreed to let Ronin settle down? Why on earth would you send him a singing telegram and a giant cake here at school?”

  “What?” I asked, panicking. “I ordered a cake, but I’m supposed to pick it up after school!” A feeling of dread filled my chest as I slid my phone from my pocket. I opened my emails and tapped the confirmation from Fire and Ice. It felt like a million little monkeys were dancing on my chest while I searched for the method of delivery.

  “See? Look.” I handed my phone to Rose. Sara leaned in and looked over my sister’s s
houlder.

  “Oh, Hazel! You clicked on the wrong button. Look!” Sara said, pointing to the correct button. The little checkbox was behind the option, not in front, so the box I thought was intended for pick-up was actually for the singing telegram delivery.

  “Who puts the button after the option? Everyone knows it comes before the choice, how could they screw that up?”

  “How could they? Hazel! You have to pay attention!” Rose yelled. “It’s your fault, not theirs!”

  “How did they even know where to send it?” I asked, screaming. I had a sneaking suspicion the people at Fire and Ice were out to get me, but I couldn’t prove it—and it was ridiculous.

  I heard music coming from down the hall and forced my gaze toward it. Three twenty-something men singing a bit off-key delivered the apology I’d scripted as they followed a maniacal-looking Ronin McKinsey directly toward me—one of whom was Tanner’s brother. I had no idea he worked at Fire and Ice, but that answered my question. Tanner laughed his butt off, smacking his thighs as he bent over with laughter. Tee watched the entire thing unfold, shaking his head slightly. I knew what they were all thinking, but they were wrong. That wasn’t what I wanted!

  Ronin marched up to me, and the crowd surrounding us parted like the Red Sea. Perhaps I could explain the mistake before he broke up with me, then he’d see it wasn’t my fault. “I can explain, I swear.”

  “I hope so because I’m so mad right now, I...” He turned to face the three singing men. “Can you please shut up?”

  They stopped singing, but they were still holding the melting cake while Ronin glared at them. Strawberry ice cream dripped onto the floor, making a huge mess in the hall that Principal Witt would probably make me clean.

  “I... See, what happened was... I ordered a cake, but I clicked on the pick-up button, not the delivery button, see?” I handed him my phone, which was a mistake since I’d clearly done it wrong.

  “It says you chose singing telegram, Hazel! A singing telegram!”

  “But... No, see... right here, see how I clicked here? Well, I thought that was the option for pick-up, but it turns out they don’t know how to design a website, so I actually clicked on... Well, that,” I said as I pointed to the three men holding what now resembled a puddle of mud.

  “Are you seriously trying to blame this on the website? Seriously? I told you to go home and figure out how to get the balloons down, not go home and order a singing telegram cake!” Ronin shouted, the little vein in his forehead pulsing so fast I worried it would rupture.

  “But—”

  “No, no buts, Hazel. I’m done. I can’t deal with you anymore!” he said, accidentally backing into the men with the cake and toppling them all over. The four of them slipped in the melted ice cream and fell. Ronin landed square on top of the mud cake. He sat on the floor looking up at me with a murderous glare, half the school laughing at his butt stuck in an ice cream cake. Even the delivery men had to work to stifle a chuckle.

  “Ronin, I... I’m really sorry, I was only trying to—”

  “I don’t care. I’m done. It’s over. Have a nice life you over-bearing, control-freak, smothering the life out of me, crazy person!” He stormed off, his pants covered with chocolate cake and ice cream. I stared after him, watching him turn the corner and out of my life completely.

  I turned around to find my sister giving me the most sympathetic look she could muster. “I’ll help you clean this up. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Yeah,” Dizzy said. “You’re better off. He’s a moron anyway.” She waved off the entire monstrous ordeal like it was just another day in the life of a teenager, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling. I tried not to cry in school, but the disaster, coupled with the broken heart, made it impossible.

  The crowd started to dissipate. There were only two minutes until the late bell, and the best of the action was already over. Principal Witt appeared with a stern look on her face. I nodded my head before she even spoke. “Yes, Ma’am, I know. I’ll get right to it.”

  “Very well, and then you can come to see me in my office,” she said, then walked back down the hall with purpose. I was in for a long lecture and maybe detention, fantastic.

  “See, Hazel!” Sara yelled, and it surprised me. I’d all but forgotten she was there until she blew up out of nowhere. “I tried to tell you! All the time, I try and try, but you never listen to me. It’s maddening!”

  “Why are you screaming at her?” Dizzy asked. “Her boyfriend just broke up with her in a public place, and she already feels like crap.”

  “Well, how do you think I feel? I’m sick of constantly trying to stop her from doing stupid stuff, then I’m stuck picking up the pieces when it all goes wrong, exactly how I said it would. What do you think it does to my social status when I have a best friend who’s an idiot?” she spat.

  I flinched, never expecting those words to come from her mouth.

  “You know what? Ronin got it right. I’m so sick of dealing with your crazy, over-the-top ways, Hazel. I support you, and all I get in return is embarrassment. We’re done. This is over,” Sara said.

  “What? What’s done? What’s over?” I asked, thinking I misunderstood her.

  “Us, our friendship. It’s over, just like you and Ronin,” she stated flatly, waving her hands like a crazy person.

  “Are you serious right now?” Rose asked. “What kind of best friend are you?”

  “The kind who knows when to cut her losses and get out while she still has some degree of dignity left. Have a nice life, Hazel.” Sara stormed off to her next class, leaving me standing alone.

  Alone... the boyfriendless, best friendless, solitary loser three weeks before prom.

  “What just happened?” I asked Rose, who only took me in her arms and hugged me.

  “Nothing important, Hazel. Forget those freaks. You don’t need them,” Dizzy said, feeling a lot more like a friend to me than Sara ever did.

  The janitor dropped mops, a bucket of soapy water, and a trash can in the hall with a little sneer, then trudged off to do whatever it was he did when he wasn’t cleaning up messes made by teenagers. The hall was empty except the three of us, mopping up ice cream and chunks of cake. What a waste of good food. It occurred to me then, I’d spent $75 to lose my boyfriend and my best friend in one fell swoop. I started to cry again, feeling alone and useless. Maybe they were right? Maybe there was something wrong with me that I hadn’t seen?

  I swiped the tears away before Rose and Dizzy saw. A soft grip squeezed my shoulder.

  “Hey, don’t cry,” Tee said. “I came to check on you because... Well, that was... A-are you okay?”

  I nodded because speaking would only make me cry more. He smiled and took the mop from me. “I’ll help.”

  “Hey, Tee,” Rose said, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. I didn’t have time to worry about it, or even make a mental note to ask her about it later. I was too lost in my own grief.

  “Hey, Rose,” Tee said, his eyes darting everywhere but toward my sister. After the proper amount of awkward silence, he turned his attention back to me. “Don’t cry over Ronin, and especially not over Sara. She’s an awful person. Everyone knows that. And Ronin, he’s mad now, but I’m sure when he has time to think about it, he’ll apologize and maybe you can be friends?”

  It was sweet that Tee tried so hard to cheer me up, but it would take more than a few kind words to heal the gaping wounds left by my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend. “Cheer practice is going to suck now,” I said.

  “Nah. I’m sure the girls will stick up for you. Don’t let Sara win. Don’t give her what she wants,” Tee said, alluding to the common knowledge that Sara had always wanted to be captain, and at one time thought she was more deserving of it than me—the one who designed all our cheers and tricks, the one who got us into the regional competition.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” I sighed and finished cleaning. Little did I know Sara had already devised a plan to ou
t me from my spot as captain, and it was one I never saw coming.

  Chapter Three

  ROSE AND DIZZY GAVE me space to process everything that night, but the truth was, I probably could have used a few pep talks. Of course, I still had plenty of friends, but I’d lost my boyfriend and my best friend in a single day. Okay, so maybe Sara wasn’t really a friend if she could walk away so easily, but it still hurt.

  I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, worried about cheer practice and what games would be like watching Ronin. Prom was three weeks away, and not only was I single, but I seriously doubted any guy would want to go with me after witnessing the debacle in the hall with the ice cream cake. Before I realized, my alarm went off, and I dragged my butt out of bed with zero sleep.

  “Sit with us today?” Rose offered when she saw me enter the kitchen. Our parents were sitting at the table reading the newspaper while she filled bowls with cereal.

  “Uh, maybe. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll eat alone,” I mumbled, taking one of the bowls. Our mother’s ears perked, but the great thing about Mom was that she never pushed. She knew I’d confide in her when I was ready, and then she’d make it all better with chocolate chip cookies and shopping. That, and advice that almost always involved shaking things off.

  Dizzy showed up right on time. For whatever reason, I decided I’d ride to school with them instead of taking my own car. They talked about the usual things, occasionally including me in the conversation, but generally allowed me to sulk as I wished. I expected the day ahead to be a lot of things—humiliating, miserable, lonely, sad, heartbreaking, regretful—but in my wildest dreams, I never thought it would also be the day I’d walk into school to see my former best friend hanging all over my ex-boyfriend like a set of bad curtains.

  “That dirty little... Grr,” Dizzy said. “She planned it that way all along.” Her eyes narrowed, homing in on Sara, and I’m sure Sara felt the chill. Sara shook off a shiver and went about tossing her hair over her shoulder in a dramatic display that showcased her ample, God-given goodies. Dizzy was a better friend than Sara ever was, and I was glad Rose was more than willing to share her best friend while I recovered from Sara’s betrayal.