I'm Pretty Sure You're Gonna Miss Me Ronin McKinsey

by M. J. Padgett

  “Closing time, guys.” The lady from the check-out counter in the café—cranky old woman—smiled at us when she informed us of the time. “You two are so sweet.”

  Daniel and I both cocked our heads to the side. “Huh. I thought she hated us,” he said.

  “Me, too.”

  “Maybe our combined adorableness wore her down?” he asked.

  “Beats me, but Daniel?” I tugged on his hand when he tried to release me. While we were dancing, I made a choice. New deal. I didn’t want Ronin back, but I did want revenge for my broken heart.

  “What is it, Peaches?”

  “I want to ruin Ronin McKinsey,” I said, then waited for some long, drawn-out speech about why it was a bad idea, never expecting his response.

  “Now that, Peaches, I can do.”

  Chapter Ten

  DANIEL DID A FANTASTIC job of cheering me up, but as soon as he was out of sight, I felt lonely and miserable again. Normally after a break-up, my friends would surround me with happiness until I recovered and moved on. Unfortunately, none of my previous boyfriends were Ronin, and now all my friends were gone, thanks to Sara. Though, they probably weren’t the greatest friends in the first place if they jumped ship so quickly—all but Tee, of course.

  I made it home before Rose, which meant Dizzy spent the better part of the night trying to convince me that Daniel was an option. I nodded my agreement, but deep down, I knew I could never keep up with him. He’d grow bored of lackluster conversation with someone like me, a far less intelligent human being with a severe addiction to going overboard.

  By morning, I was comfortable with my position. Daniel’s best friend forever and always. Or so I told myself.

  “You’re up early, dear.” My father was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee, but it wouldn’t keep him awake. His double shift at the hospital wore him down, and I knew the second he hit the bed he’d be out for ten hours—the life of an ER doctor, but he loved it.

  “I have plans for most of the day,” I said, offering him a bowl of cereal as I prepared my own.

  “No, thanks. I’m heading to bed soon. I wanted to ask, how are you doing?” He put his coffee down and gave me his full focus.

  “Fine, really. It is what it is. Shake it off, right?” I asked.

  “I know these things aren’t easy, but I promise it won’t suck so much in a few weeks. I’ve been there myself more than once, and I remember it all too well.” He smiled. He was so tired but tried very hard to stay awake in case I needed to talk. He was a great father, always had been even if the job pulled him away from us more often than we liked.

  “I know, Dad. You need some rest, but I’ll be home for dinner. We can catch up then.” I assured him, then urged him to bed. He hugged me and started toward the master bedroom, shuffling his feet as he went.

  “Oh, one more thing, if your Mom asks—”

  “I know. We had a long and meaningful conversation about boys.” I rolled my eyes, and Dad gave me a thumbs up. Neither of us was ever keen on sharing our deepest feelings with one another, yet my mother insisted we do so anyway. Our long-standing agreement was to pretend we did for our mother’s sake. Oddly enough, we seemed to connect much better with a few sentences than we ever would if we had a full heart-to-heart.

  “Hey, Daddy,” Rose said as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. I heard Dizzy greet him as well, then both appeared at the table ready to drill me about my night with Daniel and our plans for the day.

  “Nothing,” I said before they even had a chance. “Nothing happened. Nothing will ever happen. We are just friends, so deal with it.”

  “Whoa, look who woke up on the cranky side of the bed this morning,” Dizzy said. She held her hands up in mock defense. “I said all I had to say last night. Now it’s up to you to run with it. Which you should do. Which you should definitely, definitely do.”

  “Look, he’s a great guy, yeah, but we’re not a couple. That’s not going to change. I like having him as a friend, and I won’t risk losing that, especially on a rebound.”

  Rose fiddled with her napkin while Dizzy made toast. “That’s fair, I guess. Sorry, we won’t push anymore. I know the whole thing’s been crazy, but I really just want you to be happy. Daniel makes you happy so... I guess it made sense in my head,” Rose said.

  “He doesn’t have to be my boyfriend to make me happy, Rose,” I reminded, but even as I said it, I flinched internally. It was true. He certainly could make me happy as a friend, but I wanted more than that. I swallowed the lump of anxiety that grew bigger by the moment and picked up my bowl to finish off the milk.

  “You’re right. And if he makes you happy as a friend, then I’m happy, too,” Rose said.

  “Thank you. It has been crazy, which is why I just need to clear my head for a while. By the way, the new plan. I don’t want to get back together with Ronin, but I am going to make him regret the day he humiliated me in front of half the school,” I said, wiping milk from my face.

  “What are you planning, Hazel?” Rose asked, cocking her head to give me a side-eyed warning—don’t go nuts.

  “Nothing much, just making him squirm a little before moving on. By the way, I need ideas for Daniel’s prom date. Seriously, I have no idea anymore,” I said.

  “Why not you? You can go as friends, right?” Dizzy suggested.

  “I think he wants a real date.” I dropped my bowl in the sink and leaned against the counter. “We’re spending the day together. Want to join?”

  I had four real friends in the world, and half of them were standing in the room with me. I seriously doubted it would take Daniel and I all day to come up with a few torturous things to do to Daniel—and Sara while we were at it—so I didn’t see any harm in all of us hanging out for a few hours.

  “I was doing something with Tee tonight, but I think we’re both free until then,” Rose said.

  Dizzy sighed. “I see how it is. Get a brand-new boyfriend and ditch the bestie.” She swiped at a fake tear and dramatically fell into the seat beside Rose. Rose ignored her, which was sometimes the only thing you could do when it came to Dizzy. I checked my watch, noticing I had about five minutes to kill before Daniel showed up. His punctuality was somewhat annoying, especially since I had a bad habit of running behind.

  “I’m gonna go get dressed before he gets here, but think of some things to do today besides sitting around staring at each other, please!” I yelled behind me as I headed toward my bedroom. I glanced at my phone, a habit, and noticed I had a missed text message. I swiped the screen and scrolled to the new message. It was from Ronin. I had a mini-crisis as I tried to figure out what to do. I almost deleted it without reading it but decided to read it just in case... In case of what, who knew. Maybe I hoped his head had exploded, and he needed someone to identify the rest of his stupid face.

  Sorry about last night. I was out of line accusing you. I should have known better. I was awake half the night thinking about it, and I am so sorry, Hazel.

  The last time I checked, Ronin was the one who said we shouldn’t speak again. So far, I’d held up my end of the bargain by plotting his death instead of what I’d say to him when I saw him next. When every fiber of my being wanted to send him a nasty text message the night before, I controlled myself so that I wouldn’t appear to be the weaker person, the childish one. He made it impossible to ignore him, though, which caused my maturity to plummet to nothingness. I really wanted to send that nasty message, but I had finally moved into the second stage of post-break-up grief, wanting revenge, and I had no plans to move back to step one.

  I put my phone down, resisting the urge once more. It dinged again, frustrating me further. Please be from Daniel, I thought. Please be from anyone else, I prayed.

  I told Sara off. I told her I didn’t want her to hang around me anymore, that I didn’t want to date her... everything. Watch your back. She’s on the warpath and blames you. I’m sorry.

  Wonderful. Not only was Ronin
going back on his own statement by texting me, but he’d also sent my demon-spawn ex-friend to the brink of total devastation. Her target—my life. That, I could not ignore. I did nothing wrong, and I would not let the two of them continue to ruin my senior year, especially when I’d already made it my mission to destroy theirs. I typed a short response.

  Perfect. Thanks for making my life even more difficult.

  Not two seconds later, he responded.

  I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would freak out and blame you.

  How could you not anticipate that? Of course, she would blame me!

  I was so mad, I didn’t think it through. This is more drama than I ever anticipated.

  You created it, Ronin. You treated me like crap, then led her to believe she had a chance with you. You made the bed, now go sleep in it, jerk.

  Is this what we are now?

  What was he talking about? There was no we anymore. He was the one that made that excruciatingly clear in a very public way. I put the phone down, resisting the part of me that wanted to argue with him. I had plans for the day, and they didn’t involve getting into an argument with Ronin. The doorbell rang, and I heard Rose let Daniel in. If I was gonna argue with someone, Daniel was a much better person to do that with. Banter with him was fun. Fights with Ronin... not so much.

  I heard stomping, and soon my door flew open, and Daniel fell onto my bed with a smile. “Good morning, Peaches!”

  “What if I’d been changing, Daniel? Don’t you know how to knock?” I asked.

  “Sure, I do, but what fun would that be?” he asked.

  “The kind where you don’t see me naked!”

  “I fail to see how that is remotely fun, Peaches,” he said in an excellent mood so early in the morning. I was glad one of us was. Maybe his attitude would wear off on me, and I could wipe the memory of Ronin’s early morning messages from my mind.

  “It would be embarrassing for me, and you think that’s fun? I thought you were my best friend?” Rose and Dizzy found their way to my room, lounging on the floor, listening to us fuss.

  “Hmm, that’s a tough one. On the one hand, I’d probably feel crummy for embarrassing you, but on the other... naked hot girl.” He balanced his hands in front of him like a set of scales, a weighted decision to make. Rose gave him a disapproving look, and he caved. “Fine, I’ll start knocking.”

  “And?” Rose asked.

  “And I will never make inappropriate jokes again. Sorry,” Daniel said.

  Dizzy started in with her splat ball again. She tossed it up and waited for it to peel and fall from the ceiling. Daniel watched her do it with intense focus, especially considering it was literally a squishy, sticky ball whose only purpose was to make a splat noise. Rose stared at the ceiling, probably daydreaming about Tee, while I watched the three of them doing absolutely nothing with their day.

  If there was anything I hated more than backstabbing best friends and stupid ex-boyfriends, it was a wasted day. “Oh, come on! This thing can’t be that much fun!” I fussed.

  Not one of them paid a bit of attention to me, but they were awfully interested in the multiple dings from my phone. Daniel grabbed it from my nightstand before I could reach it. He started to hand it to me, but when he saw who they were from, he snatched it back. His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched tightly as he scrolled through them.

  “Daniel, can I have my phone please?” I asked, a little annoyed he was going through the messages without my consent. Rose and Dizzy were quiet, neither daring get into the middle of whatever was about to go down. Daniel handed me the phone, and I discovered the source of his anger. Dozens of messages spammed my phone. All from Sara, and all less than kind. Many were jabs at my personality, some were attacks on my relationship with Daniel, but most were vicious threats to stay away from Ronin.

  “This has gone on long enough, Peaches,” Daniel said, calming enough to speak.

  Rose reached for the phone, so I let her take it. She and Dizzy read through the messages with wide eyes and gaping mouths. “What a... a... You know, I can’t think of a word nasty enough to describe her,” Dizzy said, pointing to the phone.

  “Guys, it’s not a big deal. I was expecting it, actually,” I said, surprised to find that I actually didn’t care. The messages didn’t bother me. I just... didn’t care anymore.

  “Not a big deal?” Rose shouted, then remembered our father was trying to sleep. If we weren’t quiet, our mother would send us all away for the afternoon.

  “Shh... Look, Ronin sent me a few messages this morning.” I showed her the messages he sent. “Honestly, I don’t care. She’ll get over herself soon enough.”

  Dizzy snickered. “Well, that’s very mature of you considering she called you that word you really, really hate.”

  “Wait, she did?” I looked over the messages again. “Oh, look there, she did it twice. What a potty mouth,” I said.

  “You really don’t care, Peaches?” Daniel asked. I shook my head, and that was enough for him. “Okay, then, moving on to fun stuff. What are we doing—” The dinging interrupted his sentence, sparking that fire again. I looked at the phone to see it was Ronin with more apologies.

  “You know what? Why don’t I turn this off?” I powered the phone down and tossed it in my dresser drawer. “Who’s up for a trip to the zoo?”

  I surprised everyone, shocked them right into silence. It was a little surprising, what with my penchant for doing everything I could to make sure everyone liked me, obsessing over every detail of everything that ever happened as much as possible, and my constant need to make things right. The old me would have worked overtime to please Ronin, but the me who like Daniel... Well, she didn’t care all that much.

  “The zoo? Sara attacked you, and you want to go to the zoo?” Dizzy asked, her splat ball dangerously close to falling on her face if she didn’t pay attention to it.

  “Sure. It’s nothing some cotton candy and cuddly animals can’t fix.” When no one moved, I said, “Guys, please. Let’s go before I start to overanalyze this and go bonkers trying to defend myself to two losers.”

  It was coming, I felt it. My resolve was only so firm. I was in real danger of jerking open my dresser drawer and telling Sara precisely what I thought about her if I didn’t get out of the room. It would only be satisfying for a minute, then I would feel like a foolish child, duped into stooping to her level.

  Rose jumped up first. “I could do cotton candy at nine in the morning.”

  “Me, too,” Dizzy said, catching the ball at the last second.

  Daniel slid off the bed and took my hand. “Okay, Peaches, if that’s what you really want, that’s what we’ll do. Besides, while we’re there, we can see some of Sara’s relatives.”

  Dizzy laughed, but the joke was lost on me.

  “What? I don’t get it,” I said.

  “The poo slinging monkeys, Peaches. The dirty, dirty, backstabbing, poo slinging monkeys,” he said.

  I arched my eyebrow, wondering if that was supposed to be funny, or if he and Dizzy just had similar enough IQs that they understood something Rose and I did not. My sister looked at me with a furrowed brow and a confused expression. I was beginning to feel stupid when Dizzy spoke.

  “That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard,” she said and shook her head.

  “Give me time. I’ll come up with something better,” Daniel said, following her down the hall.

  “Doubtful,” she teased.

  “You’re so negative.”

  “You’re so weird.”

  “I’m weird? How am I... Okay, fine. But Peaches likes me just how I am so, thhhhbbbb!” He gave her a raspberry, very childish, yet exactly what I needed to solidify my good mood again.

  “Daniel’s driving!” I yelled, passing them in a hurry to get shotgun in my own car.

  “No! I want a ride on the bike!” Dizzy yelled. I’d almost forgotten about the death trap Daniel liked to whiz around on. He looked at me, gauging my reaction. I slip
ped on my shoes and pulled my hair into a ponytail.

  “Fine,” I said. “I’ll drive with Rose, but be careful! He’s a lunatic on that thing, I swear.”

  Dizzy jumped around, excited as can be. The two were out the door and halfway down the street before Rose and I even had our seatbelts clicked into place. It was all the same; I wanted to hear about my sister’s date anyway.

  While we drove, I got her up to speed with the whole Natalie and Sara slushy incident, and what Ronin did while Daniel and I were at the library. I wanted to tell her about my feelings for Daniel and why I thought we would never work, but ultimately decided there was no point. I’d already decided we would only be friends, and I would never share the secret about his intelligence with anyone, not even my sister.

  We hit every red light on the way, got stuck behind an accident, and lost in a sea of cars in the parking lot of the zoo. Finally, we found Daniel and Dizzy already halfway finished with their cotton candy, sitting just outside of the big cat sanctuary.

  “Where have you guys been?” Dizzy asked. We waited around out front, but we got hungry.

  “Traffic, life, whatever. Give me some of that.” Rose snatched the candy from Dizzy’s hand, forcing a sour look on her friend’s face when she lost her sugary treat.

  Daniel handed me his with no questions asked. He took my hand, and we wandered down the path to the tiger enclosure. Rose and Dizzy traded jokes behind us, and it was all a lot of fun and games until someone got hurt, namely me—again. The enclosure had a low-hanging sign, which was rather stupid all things considered, and I caught the corner of it with my eye.

  “Peaches, you’re a one-woman walking disaster, did you know that?” Daniel teased, but his concern was written all over his face.

  He wasn’t wrong about the status of my clumsiness, but we had to go to the medical center inside the zoo, nonetheless. A lovely nurse, also named Rose, gave me a butterfly bandage and an ice pack, then filled out an incident report. This time I agreed to it. That sign bit me and needed to be put down! She assured me I was not the first to have an unpleasant meeting with it, and she would make sure it was removed as soon as possible.