by Swati MH
“God, I hate that you’re not here right now,” I squeal, wiping my lids. “I want to give you the biggest hug. I am so excited for you! I’m going to be an aunt! How is Clark? Is he excited?”
She giggles into the phone. “Clark is acting like I’ve just transformed into a porcelain doll. He’s been waiting on me hand-and-foot and asking me if I’m hungry every five minutes. He even asked me if I needed help climbing the stairs! I told him he needs to save up his strength for the last trimester when I weigh seven hundred pounds.”
“Good! Let him dote on you. You deserve it. What about your parents? I bet your mom has already called most of your family to let them know.” Avni’s mom has been not-so-subtle about wanting a grandchild, so I’m positive she’s barely able to contain her excitement.
“Oh yeah. I know she’s already called Vik’s mom since they talk everyday, and this has been the reigning topic for them. I’m sure Vik knows by now, too.” She’s quiet for a minute before she speaks again, hesitation lining her voice. “Cass . . . are you. . .? I mean, how do you really feel about this? You can tell me, you know? I know you’re happy for me, but I also know this can’t be easy for you. Aside from telling my parents and sister, you’re the only one I wanted to tell. But I still feel a bit conflicted about--”
“Avni,” I cut my friend off because she tends to ramble when she’s nervous and if I don’t rope her in, she’ll run around like a wild horse. “You have no idea how happy I am for you. Happy, excited, thrilled! There are no other emotions mixed up in there. I love that you thought about my feelings, but believe me when I say that this is the best news I’ve heard all day. Hell, all fucking year! You better keep me posted on everything, and I want weekly pictures of your tummy! I know you probably don’t know the sex of the baby yet, but if you’re finding out, you better tell me as soon as you do!”
She sighs as if letting out a breath she was holding. “Of course, I will. Clark and I both want to find out the gender. He really wants a little girl.”
“You both will be such amazing parents.”
“And you’re going to be an aunt!” she squeals. “Oh, we’re all set to come down to San Diego over the long weekend. We’ll be taking a couple of extra days off, too. I want to spend one entire day with you, so make sure to figure out your schedule and tell me what works.”
A big smile spreads across my face at the prospect of seeing her. “Okay, I’ll make sure to get it approved now.”
Another nurse comes in and sits near me, taking out her lunch.
“Hey, wait a minute. I just took up most of your break and almost forgot that you had something to tell me, too. You said you didn’t want to put me in an awkward position or something . . .?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’ll tell you about it another time. I need to get going anyway.”
“Are you sure, because that didn’t sound like nothing.”
“Yes, I promise,” I lie. “Talk later. Love you and so happy for you!”
I was hoping the phone call would have given me enough time to settle my nerves. But unfortunately, as soon as I hang up with Avni, I rush out of the lounge to do what I was hoping she would have talked me out of.
17
Cassie
You’re known for trusting your instincts but also for playing it safe. As the sun leaves your sign for Pisces, trust your gut! It hasn’t often led you astray.
After asking another nurse to cover for me in case something comes up, I head out of the NICU before I lose my nerve. It’s sheer adrenaline mixed with re-emerging rage that has me moving toward the elevator.
By the time I get off on the floor, I’m in a battle with myself about whether this was a good idea or not. “Go back to your floor and rethink this,” I mutter under my breath, even though I keep moving toward the nurses’ station in the Orthopedics area.
A nurse looks up at me as I approach. I’d decided to pick an empty folder from my own desk, just to seem more like I was on a professional mission when I came up here.
I quickly read her name tag. “Hey, Melissa, is Dr. Bedi around?” I hold up the folder, hoping I don’t have to explain more.
She types something into her computer, I assume to find his whereabouts. “Ah, he should be getting out of surgery any minute.”
“Okay, in that case, I’ll wait in the waiting area.”
“Oh, feel free to go back to his desk through these doors.” She points to a set of double doors. “He should be in shortly. Though he does have an appointment coming up soon.”
After thanking her, I make my way to find Vik’s desk. I find his placard in a quadrant of desks and note the meticulousness of his desk compared to the others. Aside from some blank forms, a few flyers for musculoskeletal therapy, and a cup of pens, it’s pristine. There is also a small frame of a woman standing between two men. One of them is Vik and I assume the other is his brother based on their resemblance. There’s no mistaking the woman in the middle is their mom. The man on the other side of the picture appears to be hunched forward a bit, and I notice the crutches he’s holding. I remember him vaguely from Avni’s wedding, though I didn’t know he and Vik were brothers.
Before I have time to process the picture, I hear a familiar, velvet-wrapped voice clear his throat, making me jump. “Nurse Livingston. Can I help you?”
My gaze first lands on the scrubs he’s wearing today--coming out of surgery--before traveling up to his face. How does he make shapeless cotton look like it was tailor-made for him? When I finally meet his eyes, he holds them against mine, his face giving no trace of warmth.
Wait, is he mad at me? That’s not how this goes! I’m the one angry with him!
I find my voice buried somewhere deep and straighten my spine. I’m here on a mission . . . to . . . to. . .. Wait, what the hell am I here for? “Um, yes, can I have a word with you privately?” I honestly have no idea what words I’m going to have with him, but I better figure it out quick. It’s a gamble as to what will come out of my mouth at this point.
Thankfully, Vik doesn’t press further on the matter and motions to an empty office nearby. Based on the nameplate near the door frame, the office belongs to Dr. Hammonds. Vik’s voice is clipped, but he appears to have picked up the question in my expression. “Dr. Hammonds is on rounds.”
As soon as we enter, he closes the door behind us and I put the folder on a desk. Within seconds, the temperature of the room increases, and I can do nothing to stop staring at his gorgeous lips. I’m already feeling out of control, and here they are, ambushing my senses. My gaze travels past his assessing eyes to his dark hair. It looks like he’s run his hand through it at least a dozen times, but it’s only made him look like he stepped out of an expensive men’s salon.
God, why does he have to be so sexy? You’d think in two weeks he could have had the decency to develop a beer belly or male pattern baldness or something.
Snapping my eyes back to his, I tell myself that I need to hold on to the aggravation that was running through my body earlier. I swallow thickly. “Of all the people in this hospital, in this city even . . . you had to ask Becca out on a date?”
A wrinkle forms between his brows but I see his lips turn up slightly. “Who?”
I sigh, exasperatedly. “For God’s sake, Vik! The woman you’re going on a date with tonight. Becca. Seriously, you couldn’t have picked anyone else?”
His flaring eyes bore into mine as he steps closer, only inches from me so I have to look up at him. “First, thanks for letting me know her name. It’ll decrease the awkward conversation tonight. Second . . .” he steps even closer, eliminating the space between us, “I did pick someone else. In fact, I fucking picked her every day for the past few weeks since I’ve seen her. However, even after mind-blowing sex, she made it abundantly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. So, after two weeks of waiting for her to respond to my text or to come see me, I decided to take things into my own hands.”
My cheeks warm with his mention of t
he mind-blowing sex, and I’m getting ready to come up with a retort when I process what he just said. “Wait, what? What do you mean you took things into your hands?”
That devilish smirk graces his lips and I shudder in place. His hand reaches out, landing on my hip and pulling me closer to him. His hard length rubs against me through his scrubs and I do everything in my power to keep steady on wobbling knees. Heat pools in my center as I breathe him in. I want to nuzzle my nose into him. “It means that I was tired of waiting. I decided that if I wanted something, I needed to make it come to me.”
Now there’s a wrinkle between my eyebrows. “Vik, can you please not speak in haiku? I have no idea what you mean by that.”
“Well, you see, little firecracker . . ..” His thumb grazes along my jaw, eliciting full-body goosebumps. It’s so gentle and sweet, I fear I’m going to melt into him. “I may have already known that you and this chick weren’t the best of friends.” His smirk deepens when he sees my mouth drop open.
“You asshole! You did this on purpose to . . . to bait me?” I can’t decide if I’m more flabbergasted or turned-on. More of the latter, I think.
“It worked, didn’t it?”
My mind is whirling, and I’m somewhat embarrassed about being here. I can’t believe he baited me and I fell for it so easily. I thought I was smarter than that. I feel so stupid to have walked in here in such a huff. “Well, in that case, have fun on your date tonight.” I push my way out of his arms, hoping he doesn’t see the flush rising through me.
He grabs my hand before I can get too far and pulls me back into him so we’re chest to chest. “You don’t mean that.”
A little piece of my resoluteness falters. “Yeah, well . . . what choice do I have?”
Vik’s nose grazes my cheek. “You have the choice to be with me. You have the choice to see where this could go.”
I lean back to peer up at him, completely shocked. Did I just warp to another planet? “To see where what goes? Us?”
He nods and I see that he may have surprised himself as well.
“Vik, correct me if I’m mistaken, but from what I know about you, you don’t do relationships. And even if you wanted us to try our hand at making this work, then what? You’ll just leave in a few weeks and we’ll go back to square one.”
“I don’t have all the answers for you right now.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration before giving me a pained look. “All I know is that the last two weeks have been excruciating. I’ve thought about you more than any human should. I don’t know what will happen with us when I move back to New York, and I won’t make any promises I can’t keep. But I’m asking for you to give it a chance, Cass.”
I melt some more at the use of my nickname. I want to say yes. I want to grab his face in my hands and kiss him like our lives depend on it. I want to throw caution to the wind and do exactly what he’s asking from me.
But I can’t. At least, not exactly what he’s asking me to do.
I shake my head. “No, I can’t. Not a relationship. Not something long-term.”
“Okay,” he drags out the word, stretching it to let me know he’s expecting more of a response from me.
I breathe, considering what it is that I’m actually about to propose. I realize I’ve never said something like it before, never wanted it before. I also realize that if I don’t put it out there as an option, then I’ll have to suffer the next few weeks fuming about all the other Beccas--with their shaved lady bits--in Vik’s bed. And it’ll drive me completely insane.
Remember the devil and angel on my shoulders? Well, apparently, the angel is currently locked up in a dungeon somewhere in Antarctica.
As Vik squeezes my hand, silently encouraging me for more, I nibble my bottom lip, considering my words. “For the time that you’re here, let’s just have . . . fun.”
“Fun?”
“Yes. No commitments, no expectations, aside from exclusivity for the time being, and no prospects of this working out after you move back. Just unadulterated, adult fun.”
He appears just as taken aback as I am with my proposition. Did those words actually come out of my mouth? Who the hell am I? As if hearing my thoughts, Vik moves the back of his hand to my forehead. “Do you have a temperature, little firecracker? At least you’re in the right place if you’re ill.”
I swat his hand away and smile. We stand there staring at each other, letting ourselves process what I’ve said. He holds my face in his hands and searches my eyes. “That night at my apartment, you told me you’re looking for someone long-term. Now you’re telling me you’d be okay with something casual for the time that I’m here . . ..”
“I know! I know. I’m all over the place. I actually don’t completely understand all these jumbled-up thoughts myself, but I’d suggest you say yes before I change my mind. You know, carpe diem and all that.”
He chuckles. “Are you sure?”
“No, not at all. But really, what do we have to lose? It’s only for a few weeks. Let’s just get whatever this is,” I point between us, “out of our systems.”
I can tell he’s not a hundred percent convinced when he looks at his watch. “I need to get to an appointment. Will you come over later?”
I smirk, knowing I’m just being annoying now. “I thought you already had a date tonight.”
“No, I’ll be canceling with Bella.”
“Becca.”
He looks confused. “What?”
“Nevermind. Yes, I’ll come over later. I need to make sure my dad is taken care of first. I’ll text you.”
Vik leans down and places a chaste kiss on my lips. The warmth of his touch makes me want to pull him back in again. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Before he can open the door to leave, I stop him. “Oh, and one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“No hearts.”
“Huh?”
“No hearts can get involved in our little short-term arrangement. Mind and body only.”
He opens the door, clearly deliberating on what I’ve just said, but I walk past him, not waiting for a response.
18
Cassie
You’ve always been a rule-follower, Taurus. So much so that in the absence of rules, you make them up! But as the moon enters Aquarius, it may be a good chance for you to question whether the rules you’ve made for yourself are ones you can actually abide by.
“So, you’re dating two guys now?” After pouring me another cup of tea, Paula puts a plate of homemade lemon bars in front of me.
Her house has always been like a second home to me--warm and inviting. Because she’s an expert baker, it always smells like cinnamon or cookies. Today, there’s a hint of lemon in the air from the freshly-baked lemon bars she pulled from the oven.
I decided to catch up with Paula after work today since it has been a few weeks. I just finished telling her all about my last date with Major and how I went surfing with Vik. I kept the part about us sleeping together that night to myself.
“I wouldn’t say I’m dating either of them.” I break off a piece of my lemon bar and pop it into my mouth, letting the perfect combination of sweet and tart melt on my tongue. I wish I had Paula’s baking skills. “I think Major knows something is off between us, so I just need to get my big-girl pants on and break it off for good.”
“Yeah, I don’t think he’s the right fit for you. Seems a bit on the temperamental and chauvinistic side. What about this other man . . . Vik?”
I rub the tip of my ear, feeling it warm from the mention of his name. “We’re just friends . . . friendly.” I take another bite of the lemon bar. “These are delicious, by the way.”
Paula eyes me above the rim of her cup. “Friendly, huh?”
“Yeah. We’re just going to hang out while he’s still in town for another month or so.”
Paula purses her lips and squints at me, giving me a don’t-bullshit-me look. She practically helped raise me after Mom died, so bl
uffing her is akin to betting against the house in Vegas. “Cassandra Renee, what are you not telling me?”
I sigh, relenting. “I don’t know, Paula. It’s complicated. I haven’t felt this way before--so uneasy, teetering between the one version of myself that I’ve always known and this new version that I’m seeing for the first time. I’ve never ‘hung out’ with someone without being in a relationship with them before.” I make air quotes with my fingers.
“Do you like this so-called new version of yourself?”
I shrug before taking a sip of my tea. “I mean, I don’t know her. She’s definitely wilder than my normal self, more spontaneous, too.” I can’t help but laugh as I talk about myself in third person. “She likes to flirt with the devil a little bit.”
A devil with a gaze so heated, it’ll scorch your panties off.
“And what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with exploring new facets of ourselves as we grow? It doesn’t mean the old you will get lost, nor does it mean that this new version came out of nowhere. I think it was always there but was just sitting dormant all this time. This Vik guy just triggered it awake.”
I study her gentle hazel eyes and the fine lines around them, a testament to her years. She may be in her late sixties, but she’s probably just as sharp as when she was in her twenties. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Tell me more about this guy.”
A smile plays on my lips when I think of Vik. “He’s Avni’s cousin. I met him at her wedding last year, and he immediately had me putting my guard up. He’s your typical playboy surgeon.”
“Ah, one of those.” Paula nods in understanding, though I don’t think she agrees with my personal bias.
“He’s gorgeous, Paula. Just drop-dead, eleven on a ten-scale, gorgeous. He’s charismatic and funny. He makes me laugh but irks me at the same time. Most days, I can’t decide if I like him or hate him.” I laugh.