Surrender to the Stars: An Enemies to Lovers, Hospital Romance

by Swati MH

  I lift her chin so she’s looking at me. “Thank you for telling me about everything last night. I know it wasn’t easy for you.” My thumb gently caresses her cheek. “But please don’t torture yourself any more than you already have, Cass. None of it was your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

  “I wished for the pregnancy to not be viable when I first found out.”

  “Anyone would have in that situation, but it wasn’t your fault that it came true. You couldn’t have known that.”

  “I wanted that baby, Vik. I just panicked when I first found out.”

  “I know, sweetheart. Life is all about the should haves and could haves, but unless you take off the shackles of guilt, you won’t move forward to enjoy the rest of your life.”

  Seeming to consider what I’ve said, she remains silent, and I decide to distract her with more welcome thoughts. “Are you excited to see Avni and Clark today?”

  The dark haze drops from her face. “Yeah, I took a couple of days off, so I’m spending this morning with Avni at the beach. Do you think you can meet us for lunch? Clark said he’d meet us once we had a chance to catch up.”

  “Yeah, I could do that. The surgery shouldn’t take too long, as long as everything goes as planned. Just text me to let me know where you are.” I kiss her forehead and slide out of my bed, leaving her engulfed by the blankets. Foregoing my own self-preservation, every part of me wants to tuck her back into me and spend every moment I have here with her.

  “I’m going to tell Avni about us.”

  I smile at her. “Oh, yeah? I thought you said there isn’t an us.”

  She gives me a slanted look.“You know what I mean.”

  “Oh, so you’re going to tell my cousin about the multiple, scream-inducing orgasms I’ve given you in almost every corner of this apartment.”

  She giggles and throws a pillow at me, but misses when I move out of the way. “You’re such a pig.”

  24

  Cassie

  Don’t overthink it, Taurus! Love isn’t always convenient, but there’s no better time to communicate your feelings with your partner than now when the moon forms a trine with Venus and Neptune in your house of sensitivity. Seize the moment. Take the leap of faith!

  “So, it looks like my due date will be right around the middle of March next year.” Avni scoops up a handful of wet sand and adds it to the walls around the moat we’re building.

  It reminds me of so many times we came to this same beach and sat around making sand castles after we surfed. We didn’t surf today because the waves are too choppy, and Avni got clear instructions from her mom not to do anything that physical. I couldn’t care less about what we did, I’m just ecstatic to finally see my best friend again after months.

  “Ooh, I wonder if the baby will be a Pisces or an Aries. Pisces are really compassionate and empathetic while Aries are intrinsically motivated.” I pat some sand around a tower.

  Avni giggles. “You’ve really gotten into astrology, huh?” She sees me shrug. “I’m good with either sign, as long as the baby’s born healthy with ten fingers and toes. So, how are things going with you? Have you had any run-ins with Vik again?”

  Define “run-ins” . . .. He’s been “in” alright.

  I take a long breath, smelling the salt water in the breeze. “So, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a couple of weeks now, but I guess I just didn’t want to put you in an awkward position.”

  “You slept with him,” she deadpans.

  The music playing in my head abruptly comes to a screeching stop. “How did you . . .?”

  “Oh, come on, Cass! It’s written all over the glow on your face. Sexual energy has swirled around you guys like some sort of high-voltage live wire since my wedding. It was bound to happen!”

  I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face. “I didn’t realize it was that obvious. But there’s something else, too. Since he’s leaving in a few weeks, we’re not putting any labels on anything. I don’t have any expectations from him once he’s back in New York.”

  Avni continues to dig a little ditch around the castle. “Is that what you want?”

  I chuckle humorlessly. “It doesn’t matter what I want. You know I can’t be with Vik. Don’t get me wrong, he’s amazing and so much more than I ever gave him credit for, but that doesn’t mean he’s good for me. The guy hasn’t been in a long-term relationship in years! I can’t expect him to try his first hand at one after so long with someone three thousand miles away. ”

  Avni clears her throat, eyeing me pointedly. “He’s not the only one who hasn’t been in a relationship in years.”

  “Yeah, fine, you’re right. But unlike me, he loves variety. He’s dated pretty much every single female at the hospital and who knows where else. He doesn’t settle for one person, Avni. He’s a typical Gemini! This thing we have between us right now is just a fluke, a total one-off situation. Once he moves back to New York and doesn’t see me everyday, he won’t remember me.”

  Avni sits back, resting on her hands, and calmly considers my outburst. “You still haven’t said what you want, Cass. What I heard was why you can’t be with Vik, but not whether you wanted to be with him or not.”

  “Yes, okay?” I huff. “Yes, I want to be with him. Yes, even though we’re complete opposites and he drives me crazy, I wish things could be different between us. I’ve never been so drawn to, so captivated by anyone before. I can smell him a mile away. My gaze will somehow lock on to his, even in a room full of people. I can be on a date with someone else and my thoughts will be interrupted by him constantly. So, yes. I want him with every fiber of my being, but I won’t be so unfair to either of us. He deserves the variety of flavors he’s accustomed to, and I deserve my happily ever after with someone who’s satisfied with plain old vanilla.”

  “Firstly, you are not plain old vanilla. You’re gorgeous, hilarious, compassionate, and spunky, albeit a little stubborn. Secondly, don’t you think if this chemistry between you two is so strong that it’s worth giving things a shot long-term and long-distance? What’s the harm in trying? Has Vik indicated that he wants to? Because if he has, that’s pretty telling as to how much he’s into you.”

  I turn toward the ocean, hoping it can give me clarity. The beach is really busy today and many families are out enjoying the warm August weather. “Yeah, I think he wants more. But, Avni, he has no idea how hard a long-distance relationship can be. And I haven’t fared well with men who run up against a challenge. They’ve given up on me as soon as something became too hard.” I grimace. “Vik will be so busy with work once he’s back that I’ll probably just become a distraction for him anyway.” I swallow hard as I recall the word Ben used all those years ago.

  I don’t want to be reduced to someone’s distraction again. And I don’t want Vik to settle for me when I see the types of women he dates--the gorgeous blondes with perfect skin and long legs. For reasons beyond my comprehension, he’s attracted to me and admitted he wanted more, but I have no preconceived notions of it staying that way. Once I’m out of sight, I’ll be quickly out of mind as well, which is why our current arrangement works well for the both of us.

  Avni sighs defeatedly before throwing a few shells into the moat. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again . . . Vik is not Ben. When you say men have given up on you when things become challenging, put it in context of the only asshole who did that. Vik is a lot of things, but he doesn’t deserve to be in the same category as a guy who doesn’t deserve to be called a man.” She pauses, turning toward me. “I mean, you should see yourself through my eyes for a second, Cass. I haven’t seen you like this . . . ever. You look happy. And you deserve to be happy. Give yourself the chance at what you deserve because right now, you’re the only one standing in your way.”

  “I don’t want to get hurt again,” I whisper so softly that I doubt she hears it. I don’t want to give my heart to someone who will just give it back to me with a huge chu
nk missing, too misshaped to even be considered functional again.

  “I know, Cass.” Avni nods. “But sometimes the only way to keep the hurt out is to let someone in.”

  After texting Vik to let him know that we’ll be meeting in Little Italy for lunch, Avni and I dust off the sand from our clothes and head to the restaurant.

  “Hey, Cassie! Long time no see!” Clark’s voice wraps around me before his arms do. He gives Avni a kiss that lingers long enough where I ask if they’d like some privacy before we’re laughing as we take our seats in the booth.

  “Cass, can we update Clark before Vik gets here so nothing accidentally awkward is said?” Avni asks. Always the logical one.

  Vik had texted back saying he was on his way so, after ordering our drinks, it only gave me a few minutes to give Clark the highlights. It’s right as the waiter is dropping off our drinks that Vik finds us.

  His eyes find me as he heads toward the booth, looking like someone just sculpted him from clay. His lush hair is smoothed back and his lips quirk up in a knowing smile. I know the bastard loves catching me ogling him.

  We exchange an awkward hello before he gives Avni a kiss on the cheek and he and Clark do one of those bro handshakes before giving each other a half-hug. Even though I just left Vik’s place this morning after a night where so much was shared, I’m breathless sitting next to him, like we’re hiding a secret.

  He must pick up on my internal frenzy because after glancing at the menu and ordering a drink, his hand finds mine under the table, entangling our fingers. He gives it a reassuring squeeze and like some sort of muscle relaxer, the tension eases from my body.

  “So, how did the surgery go?” Avni asks him.

  “Pretty good actually, but I may have to head out if I get a call from the hospital.”

  “No worries, we get it. How are Vinnie and Meena masi doing?”

  “They’re good! Ma’s excited about the baby news you and Clark gave her. I think our moms are already planning baby showers and some ceremony at the temple.” Avni shakes her head in mock exhaustion and Vik laughs.

  “I swear, Ma has become even more of a helicopter parent than she already was. She made me promise not to go into the water with Cass today.”

  “Let her dote on you, babe. It’s exciting for her.” Clark leans in to kiss Avni on the temple.

  Once the waiter comes back to our table and we’ve ordered our lunch, we get into a casual conversation about Clark and Avni’s life in San Francisco. They tell us that they’ll likely move to another home once the baby comes.

  While I’ve seen them several times before and after they got married, I can’t help but notice the love between them--fierce, unapologetic, boundless love.

  “Clark, I know Avni is a Libra, but what’s your sun sign?” I ask after taking a sip of my drink. I can’t believe I’ve never asked this.

  “Hmm. My birthday is on the tenth of September, so I think I’m a Virgo, right?”

  I gape at both of them. “Wow! That’s crazy.”

  Avni laughs, likely knowing what I’m thinking. “What? Are we supposed to be eternal enemies or something?”

  “Yeah, actually. I mean, not enemies, but Libras and Virgos are definitely considered incompatible.”

  “Oh, we’re compatible alright . . . in more ways than we need to get into right now.” Clark gets a shoulder bump from Avni, who’s trying, and failing, to hide a smile.

  “Ugh. Let’s never get into it.” Vik scowls at Clark as we all laugh. His hand slides across my thigh and to the middle of my legs, only centimeters from the apex. The movement causes a shudder to travel down my body. “Well, I guess you have a proofpoint right here, little firecracker. Opposites do attract. Maybe this Gemini still has a chance with a stubborn, albeit adorable, Taurus.”

  I’m sure Avni can see my face heat up because she chimes in, “So, I heard Vinnie has a girlfriend!”

  Vik nods, keeping his hand exactly where it is, but now his thumb traces slow circles inside my thigh. “He does! In fact, I think I’m meeting her next weekend. There are only two more weekends left before I leave, so the attending doctor was kind enough to give me next weekend off completely.”

  My face falls along with my unsteady heart at the thought of the little time I have left with Vik. What will life be like when he’s gone? I’m in my own thoughts when I hear Vik say my name. I get the feeling he’d already said it once. “Yeah?” I find my voice, shaking myself from my daze.

  “I was just asking if you wanted to come with me.”

  Confused, I ask, “Where?”

  “To Santa Monica. My mom and brother would love to meet you.”

  Mom and brother? What?

  This was definitely not part of the no-hearts-involved rule.

  “Umm. Maybe you should go alone since it’ll be your last time seeing them before you leave.”

  “Well, I’ll have to go alone if you don’t come with me, but I’d much rather you join.” He squeezes my thigh lightly. “Come on. You said you love homemade Indian food and besides Avni’s mom, there’s really no one else on the planet who makes as good of Indian food as my mom.”

  I look to Avni and Clark, who both give me an encouraging smile. Nodding reluctantly, as a heaviness curdles in my stomach, I give in. “Okay. I’ll see if I can switch my schedule with another nurse.”

  Even though I eat most of what I ordered, nod my head, and respond in time with the conversation, I’m not sure what I eat nor which conversation I respond to for the rest of the time we’re there.

  Rule or not, my heart is definitely going to shatter by the end of this.

  25

  Vik

  You don’t have to come in. I’ll be out in a few minutes.

  I read Cassie’s text after I pull into the driveway of her modest, ranch-style house and smile to myself knowing she’s probably thinking about her no-hearts-involved rule. Too bad, sweetheart. I’m here for the taking, whether you’re giving it or not. But then how would I be able to shake hands with your dad?

  Grr. Her reply says she knows she won’t win the argument.

  I know I shouldn’t be nervous. Meeting someone’s dad should not have my palms sweating or my heart racing. I’ve done harder things . . . like operating on someone’s spine! So, why am I such a ball of nerves at the thought of meeting Cassie’s dad tonight when I pick her up for our date?

  It’s not like we’re dating. It’s not like we’re anything.

  My rounds at the hospital have ended late every night and Cassie has had to work night shifts a couple of times, so between our work schedules, we’ve only exchanged a handful of texts. Every part of me wants to see her and hold her. And I’m glad I was able to duck out a little earlier today. I texted Cassie to ask if I could pick her up to get dessert and thankfully, she said yes.

  Truth be told, the only dessert--hell, the only meal--I’m craving is the one only she can provide. I’ve gotten hard several times this week remembering the taste of her and the way she bucks under my mouth when I’m making her loosen the grip on all that control she likes to have.

  The automatic lights along the driveway turn on, giving me a view of the well-kept front yard and the lone palm tree near the entrance. The house is somehow exactly where I pictured her growing up.

  Walking up the driveway, my heart still thudding in my chest, I see lights turn on in the foyer and hear the lock unclick.

  “Hello! I assume you’re Vik?” Cassie’s dad is a tall, thin, middle-aged man with short blonde hair only on the sides of his head. His baby blues squint at me briefly from under his glasses. Even though Cassie looks nothing like him--she’s short with brown hair and eyes--there’s an unmistakable resemblance between them, especially in their smiles.

  I reach out my hand to shake his as I get closer to the door. “I am! Great to meet you, Mr. Livingston.”

  “Call me Russell,” he says warmly. “Come on in. Cassie should be out momentarily.”

  I take in my surr
oundings as I walk farther into the living room. Pictures of Cassie as a little girl, along with several pictures of her parents from their wedding, line the walls and the top of an upright piano. Though it’s homely and impeccably clean, I assume the house was built in the eighties and hasn’t been updated since then.

  “Would you like a beer?” Russell asks, walking toward the kitchen.

  “I’m fine, but thank you.” I walk toward a picture of Cassie and her mom sitting at the piano and remember what she told me about never reaching her mom’s expectations. “Do you play the piano as well?”

  Russell laughs. “About as well as I can fly a plane, and that’s not very well.”

  I laugh along with him. “Cassie said she played for a number of years.”

  “Oh, yeah. She could have easily become a concert-level pianist had she stuck through it. There’s not a whole lot my daughter can’t do once she puts her heart into it. The challenge is in getting her to put her heart into something, but once she does, it doesn’t stray.”

  Yeah, no kidding. I’m painfully familiar with the razor-wire fence around her heart, as if it were an inmate in a high-security prison.

  Russell and I talk for another few minutes about his job and his health, and then about a couple of pictures he sees me looking at--one where a young Cassie is on a horse.

  “Cassie’s mom put her in all sorts of classes when she was little. And unsurprisingly, Cassie did well--from ballet to vocal lessons. One summer, Denise even put her in horseback riding.” He sighs before picking up a picture of Cassie sitting on the beach, staring off at the ocean. “But Cassie has always been drawn to the water. As soon as she was old enough, her and Avni would spend hours surfing.”