Falling for Her Bodyguard--A Clean Romance

by Amy Vastine

  “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  “No one is going to be looking for me here at this time of night. Plus, I’m going to be with Nancy and Lyle. It’s fine, I promise. Avery needs to get home and in bed.”

  Donovan couldn’t deny the little girl was wiped out. He agreed to take the kids home and come back. It was a compromise.

  Kelly ran to the elevator and prayed her friends wouldn’t give up on each other before they even gave it a chance. Nancy had somehow found out that Lyle had agreed to get drinks with Trish even though he had decided not to go in the end.

  How everything had unraveled was a mystery since Nancy hung up on her and Lyle wasn’t responding to any of her texts other than to say she’d better come help him fix this mess.

  “What happened?” she asked when she found Lyle in his office.

  “I told Trish I couldn’t get drinks with her and for some reason she took that as a major brush-off and decided to complain to Nancy. Does the woman not have any friends she could talk to about me that aren’t the woman I wanted to date in the first place?”

  “Where is Nancy now?”

  “Last I saw her, she was in the staff lounge. I told you this was what would happen if I said yes to both of them. You have to help me sort this out or I am pretty sure I’m destined to die alone.”

  The drama was high at K104. “You aren’t going to die alone. Once she knows what happened, she’ll be fine.” At least Kelly hoped so. Nancy had been so jealous of Trish in the beginning. Hearing that Lyle had accepted a date with her before accepting a date with him probably had her all tied up in knots.

  Kelly went to check the staff lounge, but no one was in there. The station was much quieter this time of day. The night deejays didn’t have as much help producing their shows. Nancy had to be somewhere. She checked her office, but found her coming out of the ladies’ room.

  “I am not talking to you. You should leave,” Nancy said, pointing toward the exit.

  “I’m not leaving.” Kelly hooked arms with her friend and dragged her toward her office. “Come talk to me.”

  “Why should I talk to you when you haven’t been talking to me?”

  Lesson learned. Kelly could not allow herself to be put in the middle of two friends. No matter her good intentions, her words and actions could always be misconstrued. She unlocked her office door and pulled Nancy inside.

  “You are my friend, but Lyle is also my friend.”

  “I am your best friend. That should trump all other friendships,” Nancy argued.

  “Explain to me why you’re mad. Because I didn’t tell you that Trish asked him out before you asked him out?”

  Nancy held her head in her hands. “How about because you told him that he should go out with her if he wanted to instead of being loyal to me and telling him to remember that he thought he liked me.”

  Kelly sighed. Leave it to Lyle to rat her out when he was confronted by Nancy. “He does like you. Why do you think he told Trish he didn’t want to go out for drinks tonight? He’s been so excited about going to dinner with you tomorrow that he couldn’t even pretend to be interested in going out with Trish.”

  “That does make me feel a little bit better. And worse because she was really upset about it. She likes him a lot, or so it seems.”

  They should all be feeling sorry for Trish. She innocently asked Lyle out, not knowing he had feelings for Nancy, the same day Nancy decided to give Lyle a chance. Lucky for her, she was young and beautiful. She’d be single only as long as she wanted to be.

  Kelly picked up the phone and dialed Lyle. When he answered, she told him to come to her office. There was no reason for her to still be playing middle man for these two.

  Lyle stubbornly stood in the doorway even though she asked him to sit down.

  “You know, all of this could have been avoided if you two were brave enough to tell each other how you feel instead of telling me and asking me to play your messenger. Lyle, you need to tell Nancy how you feel about her. If you think this is a woman you want to have a relationship with, you have to be able to trust that you can tell her how you feel and she’s going to be kind and compassionate in return. And, Nancy, you need to be honest with Lyle about how you feel because he can’t guess when you change your mind or realize that you’ve been having feelings all along. If he’s someone you want to have a relationship with, shouldn’t you be able to trust that he’s going to understand?”

  The two of them were staring at the ground. Lyle lifted his head and so did Nancy until their gazes met.

  “I’m so sorry for agreeing to go on a date with Trish when the only person I want to date is you,” Lyle said. “I did it because I was afraid that if I turned her down, I would turn everyone down who isn’t you. I thought I didn’t have any chance with you.”

  Nancy cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for freaking out when you did nothing wrong. You have every right to go out with anyone you want to go out with. I think I was mad that I might miss out on a great guy because I was too scared to admit that I had feelings for you when I heard you had feelings for me.”

  “See? Isn’t that better than saying these things to me?” Kelly stood up and pulled Lyle into the room and out of the doorway. “You two keep talking and I will see you on Monday. I love you both and I can’t think of two people more perfect for each other. But what do I know? I’ve only been right about everyone else I thought that about.”

  “Oh, my gosh. She’s so obnoxious about that, isn’t she?” Nancy said to Lyle.

  “I know. She loves to take credit for the weirdest things. Does it really make her a matchmaker if she only thinks two people would be perfect together and then they actually get together no thanks to her?”

  “Right? And I would bet there are people she thought would get along who never got together. She doesn’t remember those because nothing ever happened beyond her thinking they would make a cute couple.”

  “That probably happens all the time,” Lyle said, nodding his head like Nancy had made some huge discovery.

  “I’m still standing right here. I can hear everything you two are saying about me. You know that, right?”

  The two of them burst into laughter. At least they had found common ground about something even if it was to roast Kelly. She could take it as long as they would all be friends in the end.

  She left them to discuss where they wanted things to go, moving forward, and texted Donovan that she was ready to be picked up. He texted back that he was already outside. He had dropped her off, run the kids home and come straight back to the station. She was beginning to think this was more than just a job to him. Maybe he cared about her.

  Tonight at dinner, the kids told her she was part of the family, but Donovan said nothing. At first, she was hurt, thinking his hesitation meant he did not feel that way at all. Now, she wondered if he had been scared to admit that maybe he felt more connected to her than he wanted to admit.

  It was time for Kelly to take her own advice. She needed to be honest with herself in regard to how she felt about Donovan and then she needed to tell him. If he was someone she wanted to have a relationship with, she needed to trust him to listen to what she had to say and be honest back.

  Fear crept up her neck and left her a bit unsettled. There was a possibility that if she laid it all on the line, he could say he wasn’t interested at all and that would hurt. But even though she might lose, she wouldn’t gain anything if she didn’t try.

  * * *

  DONOVAN WAITED IMPATIENTLY for Kelly to come out of the building. He didn’t like the idea of her being in there unguarded. Not when the stalker had been there earlier today. Relief flooded his body when she stepped outside. He unlocked the door so she could get in.

  “Did you solve all the world’s problems?” he asked.

  “Not the world’s, but maybe Lyle’s an
d Nancy’s. They needed a little push to actually talk to each other about how they’re feeling.”

  “Talking about feelings is overrated. A lot of time can be wasted worrying about how everyone feels.”

  Kelly cocked her head. “Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack.”

  “A lot of time can be wasted when people don’t talk about feelings. Misunderstandings abound. People get hurt unnecessarily because they assume things instead of being up front.”

  “People get their feelings hurt whether they talk about it or not.”

  “You sound like someone who is afraid of what they feel or maybe what other people feel.”

  Donovan was offended. He wasn’t afraid. He simply had more important things to worry about than how he felt about this person or that. Or how they felt about him. He had kids to take care of and a stalker to catch.

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “You’re important to me. I like being around you. I like being around your family. I’m terrified because I hate that you’re a cop because I grew up in a house full of them. I swore to myself that I would never date one, but I care what you think and I sometimes wonder what it would feel like to kiss you,” she said, dropping bomb after bomb without any warning.

  Donovan was so thrown by what she said he had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of him. Kelly braced herself by putting her hands on the dashboard. His heart raced and all of his senses were heightened.

  “Still not afraid?”

  He shifted his gaze from the car he almost rammed to her pretty blue eyes. That didn’t help his heart slow down. He wasn’t afraid of her or how she felt about him. At least he tried to tell himself he wasn’t.

  “I don’t know what you want me to do with all that information.”

  “I want to know how you feel. Even though you think feelings are stupid, I want to know what yours are.”

  This was where Donovan always failed. He wasn’t good at sharing his feelings. Kelly might have thought he was good at everything, but this was his Achilles’ heel.

  “I don’t know what I feel. I’m not thinking about my feelings. I’m thinking about catching this guy who wants to hurt you. I’m thinking about how Graham needs to do well on his finals so he can pass his classes this semester. I’m thinking about how I have to take Avery to the dentist next week. Worrying about how I feel is a luxury I can’t afford right now.”

  “Ignoring how you feel doesn’t make it go away. How you feel about me and how you feel about what I just said impacts everything you do. You can’t hide from it. Just tell me.”

  Donovan didn’t know what she wanted to hear him say. He didn’t have a laundry list of feelings like she did. Was she important to him? Sure. It was his job to serve and protect. If someone was in danger, it was important to protect them. Did he like being around her? Sure. She was a nice person. Nice people were pleasant to be around. Did he think about kissing her? He didn’t try to think about it. Had he ever thought about it? He had and it caused this strange sensation in his chest. It started in the center and emanated outward. It made him uncomfortable. Uncomfortable wasn’t how he wanted to feel.

  “I want to help you,” he offered.

  “I know you want to help me, but how do you feel about me?”

  She was relentless.

  Donovan turned onto his street and pulled into his driveway. There was only one way to prove that these feelings didn’t matter. He got out of the truck and walked around to her side. He opened her door and helped her out. He had her somewhat trapped between his body and the truck. He would move if she asked him, but she was silent.

  “I’m going to kiss you to prove there’s nothing going on,” he warned her, waiting for her to protest. She didn’t. Her lips slightly parted and she stared deep into his eyes, making it hard to breathe.

  He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Softly, gently. Convincing himself that this made him feel nothing was hard to do when it made him feel so much. His whole body felt like it was on fire and she was both the flame and the balm that would take away all the pain. His hand cupped her cheek and he tilted her face upward so he could deepen the kiss just a bit. Her arms snaked around his neck and held him in place.

  The whole world dropped away and there was nothing but Kelly and this feeling—this feeling he couldn’t begin to label. All he knew was he loved it and hated it at the same time. He wanted to push her away and pull her closer. Nothing made sense. Instead of giving him clarity, he felt more confused than ever.

  She pulled away first, breathing heavy and staring up at him like he was the most important thing in the world. “Nothing?” she asked. “Because that didn’t feel like nothing to me.”

  He kissed her again because he wasn’t ready to talk about it. She didn’t seem to mind his avoidance of the subject. The only problem was he couldn’t stand out here forever in his driveway, making out instead of admitting he was wrong. She brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek and he decided they could stay a little bit longer. He felt like a cat getting a scratch behind the ear. She made him want to arch his back but simultaneously beg for more. Man, she was confusing him.

  When she pulled back a second time, the smirk on her face left him a tiny bit annoyed. She wouldn’t break her stare. It made him want to kiss her again because he knew they’d both close their eyes.

  “You like me. Just admit it.”

  He sighed and broke their gaze. “Fine, I like you. Are you happy now?”

  “I know it’s messy and we’re not even close to being ready to handle this. But it is what it is. I can’t pretend I don’t feel it.”

  At least she was being honest about what a disaster this was. He didn’t even know where to go with these feelings. Saying it out loud didn’t exactly make anything better and the way the kissing made him feel only added to his confusion. Being vulnerable made him want to crawl out of his skin, but kissing felt better than he expected.

  “We can’t do this in front of the kids,” he said. “I don’t even know what to call this. I certainly don’t want the kids trying to make sense of it. Until I know, we need to protect them from being misled into thinking we’re going to live happily-ever-after.”

  Kelly took a deep breath and nodded her head. “I respect that. I won’t let you kiss me when they’re around.”

  “You won’t let me? You act like it was all me and you had no say.”

  She held out her hands, palms up. “I didn’t kiss you. You kissed me both times. I was standing here, minding my own business and you attacked me with those lips.”

  “Attacked you?” He put his hands on her waist and she squirmed, giggling. He pulled her flush against him and he kissed her one more time. Nothing about this made sense.

  The kids were going to start to wonder what was taking them so long. Since Graham had heard what happened today at the station, he didn’t want him to worry unnecessarily.

  He broke the kiss this time. “We need to go inside. Graham will be worried something’s happened to you.”

  She nodded and pressed her lips together, like that would stop him from going after them again. They walked toward the house and she reached for his hand.

  “In the interest of transparency, I need you to be aware that I kind of hate you for being such a good kisser. It makes it about a thousand times harder for me not to think about it,” she said as they climbed onto the porch. “Thanks for that.”

  “Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” he said, tugging her closer.

  “I am completely in love with those kids. I need you to know that I would never do anything that would bring harm to them.”

  He believed that more than anything else. They were both very much on the same page about Graham and Avery.

  When they got inside, both kids were upstairs. The lights were off in the family room,
but someone had lit a bunch of candles. Romantic music was coming from the TV. A bowl of ice cream with two spoons sat on the coffee table. There was a note that said: Here’s some ice cream for you guys since you didn’t get any at the market. Enjoy!

  Graham had done some work to put all this together. Donovan was actually shocked that the teen had come up with this on his own. He usually had such a self-centric way of looking at the world.

  “I think someone might be trying to set us up,” Kelly said, setting down the note.

  “Graham!” Donovan shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

  He shuffled out to the top of the stairs. “What?” he whisper-yelled.

  “Come down here, please.”

  “Seriously? You really know how to kill a mood.” He trudged down. “What?”

  “I appreciate what you’re trying to accomplish here. I know you like having Kelly around, but I need you to let me do my job and figure out things outside of that on my own.”

  “Avery and I both approve. We both like her. You don’t have to worry about us.”

  “I’m fully aware of how much you two like her. I understand that I have your full blessing, but can you please let me and Kelly decide how we want to proceed.” Donovan wasn’t sure how to explain adult relationships. “I need you to understand that there are no guarantees that this ends up with us being one big, happy family. I don’t want you getting your or your sister’s hopes up.”

  “Why do you have to make this so complicated?”

  Donovan didn’t make things complicated. Whenever he was in a relationship, they ended because he tended to keep things too simple. He never let himself get deep enough to let it get complicated.

  “You are making it complicated by lighting candles and turning off lights. Let the grown-ups handle the grown-up relationships.”

  Graham turned on his heel and marched back upstairs. “I told Mia you would probably mess this all up.”