He kept at it until Felix said, “You have to stop.” And then he looked at him, his gaze full of lust as he looked down to where Joaquin’s erection strained toward him. “I’m going to come.”
“That’s sort of the point, isn’t it?” As soon as he made the joke, Felix grasped his cock and pulled a few times, until Joaquin lost his words and had to grab his lover’s shoulder for support. He had him by the cock and tugged him closer to him—his dick, his heart, all of him. Soon they were so close that Joaquin laid his head on Felix’s shoulder, kissed the salty skin between his shoulder and neck.
He needed to fuck before he told him that he was falling for him. Luckily, his lover was on the same wavelength because he asked, “Condom? Lube?” before Joaquin could tell him that he had them covered. He’d known what he’d wanted to happen before he’d shown up here tonight.
He bent over and pulled out the condom and a packet of lube he’d tucked in his pocket before he’d left his condo.
When he straightened up, Felix said, “You knew this was going to happen.”
Joaquin shrugged and felt the remains of his T-shirt drag over his ass and one side. For a moment, he was struck by how awkward he must look, but then he caught Felix’s gaze again and forgot to feel anything but lust. “I was hoping.”
Felix grabbed the back of his neck, echoing how Joaquin had touched him just moments before. “You don’t have to hope with me. You can count on me.”
His voice was so grave and serious that Joaquin felt choked up. He needed to get inside before everything went to shit and he started vomiting up feelings. “Don’t make me wait for it.”
Felix turned around and bent over the table, one of his hands moving to his front so he could stroke himself off. Joaquin put the condom on his aching cock and tore open the packet of lube with his teeth. He slicked his finger and teased Felix’s entrance until his lover’s moans echoed off the stainless steel in front of his mouth. Once Felix was backing up on two of his fingers, Joaquin pulled away for a moment until he was slicked up enough to make his way inside Felix.
He hung back when the tip of his cock was poised to breach Felix’s hole so he could rub his hand up and down his spine, needing to reassure him. Of what, he wasn’t sure.
“Fuck me, Joaquin. I need it so much.” Felix’s bicep flexed as he pulled and squeezed on his own cock, but he froze when Joaquin made his way in.
And then there was nothing but heat. He’d been hard nearly since he’d walked in and seen Felix working—hours earlier. But he’d had no idea how being inside of Felix would consume him whole. How the man would have to back up onto his cock until his ass cheeks hit the front of Joaquin’s pelvis just to prompt him to move. He was so consumed by the insane beauty of fucking this man that he bit down hard on his lower lip until he tasted blood.
And so he fucked harder and deeper and faster until he had to—had to—close his eyes. Squeeze them shut until he saw stars. Until fire rained down his spine. He poured himself into Felix until the other man spilled onto the floor, crying out.
Joaquin’s one good hand slipped against Felix’s sweat, making it impossible to find purchase. It made the whole thing primal and animal and the sexiest thing that had ever happened. Until he came so hard that he might have blacked out, forgetting everything but what it felt like to fuck this man.
Chapter 13
Felix wouldn’t be able to stand up for at least an hour. Maybe eight. He hoped he would be able to move and get himself dressed before the staff got there in the morning. But if he had his druthers, he’d stay there with Joaquin draped across his back. Breathing heavy and blanketing him with the furnace of his body.
He hadn’t even wanted Joaquin to pull out, and he’d been ready to come again before the big man had grunted out his release into the slightly chilly kitchen air. Before both of their groans had echoed against the walls and possibly broken something inside him.
It wasn’t anything that he’d miss, just the wall he’d built to protect himself after Roman had left.
“That was…” He didn’t have words, and it didn’t appear that his lover did either. He just grunted against his skin and laid a kiss against his back before standing upright.
Felix followed his example and stood on his shaky legs. He felt reborn, lighter somehow. The night before had been fun and games, but something about letting Joaquin into his body had been more intimate.
When his sister had first gotten together with her now husband, he’d joked that he’d dicked her back to life. They’d spent one night together, and she’d been a changed woman. Felix had seen it all over her face and known that they would end up together. Maya and Javi had traveled some road before ultimately finding their way to each other, but Felix had known that day.
And now he finally knew what he was talking about. Because of Joaquin.
If it were anyone else, he’d have been terrified, but he felt safe with the big man standing in front of him, naked but for a ripped-up T-shirt and a sling. Maybe it was because Joaquin depended on him to help him keep his business running, but it didn’t matter. Their hearts were beating now in unison, and he was fine with it.
“Amazing.” Joaquin’s soft declaration snapped him out of his ogling and reminded him how naked he was.
“What?”
“That was amazing.” Joaquin looked down, and a dimple he’d never noticed popped out. Almost as if he was sheepish. “You said, ‘That was—’ and I said, ‘Amazing.’”
Felix had to kiss him again after he said that, cup his jaw to ground them both in this moment. Until they had to end this in order to form a business partnership, he was going to memorize every moment, make it so each second with Joaquin was seared on his mind, and he could go back to it whenever he needed to. And he would need to.
The way that Joaquin kissed him back made him feel as though the big man didn’t want to break things off the way they’d agreed, that he was just as desperate for him. Felix never wanted it to end.
But they’d been fooling around for several hours, and Joaquin had had a late night and long day. His lover needed rest. As much as he wanted to go home with him and slip into his bed, get inside of Joaquin the way he’d been inside of him—he knew that he had to let the big man go.
Tonight, and again someday in the near future.
* * * *
Joaquin should have slept like the long dead, but he found himself staring up at his ceiling, wishing that Felix had accepted his invitation to follow him home. The younger man had taken all of his reservations and smashed them with every touch and kiss and sound. He wouldn’t be able to look at him without thinking of his mouth swollen from kisses.
And—God help him—he didn’t know if he could see his lips swollen from kissing another man and not lose his mind. That would be inevitable, and he might as well accept it. Felix hadn’t said much while they were getting dressed and setting the kitchen back to rights. And his newfound obsession had sent him home with a kiss on the forehead and an admonishment to get some sleep.
The only way that would have happened would have been with Felix there next to him—his naked limbs wrapped around him like a spider monkey. Joaquin hadn’t showered before falling into bed, so he could smell the other man on his skin. Another first for him. He’d turned from a chef feared by his entire kitchen staff and revered by his peers to a mopey motherfucker wishing the guy he’d just turned out in his kitchen wanted to be his boyfriend.
What was worse was that he was the one who’d made himself vulnerable by asking Felix to come home with him. He’d never put himself out there before, and—honestly—he didn’t like how it felt to want something and have it denied.
After leaving his parents’ house, that had never happened, and he’d done everything in his life to avoid feeling like the boy whose father hadn’t been able to love him because he’d loved other boys. He’d thought that he was
over it, but being with Felix had brought everything back.
In the dark, he rubbed his hand over his bare stomach, his calluses catching on the hair there. It reminded him of Felix touching him there as he’d helped him dress. His hand wandered lower to where his cock lay semihard. Would he ever be able to go into his kitchen again without thinking about fucking Felix’s ass?
Probably not, but that didn’t matter. It still didn’t stop him from rubbing one out thinking about it and trying to imagine a world in which he and Felix could be together.
Chapter 14
Felix looked around the unrenovated space in Coral Gables, seeing what could be there with time and effort instead of the walls stripped down to the studs, the beat-up flooring, and the hanging wires. “This is fantastic!”
His sister turned around, scrunching up her nose. “You think?”
Javi put his hand on Maya’s lower back and gave Felix an approving nod. “You like it.”
Like it? He fucking loved it. Unlike Joaquin’s current space, this would never be some cavernous temple to fancy shit. It was small enough that it would never be anything but homey and big enough that it could feed a lot of people.
“It would take some time to get up and running, but I love it.” He paused, hesitant to make decisions and suggestions without Joaquin in the mix. Joaquin had been hesitant enough to work with another chef, and him making all sorts of grand plans without him wouldn’t make him any more amenable.
But Felix wasn’t in the mood to be accommodating. He was beginning to think that had been the real reason that he and Roman hadn’t worked out. Perhaps if he’d set some boundaries right away, they could have made it work. He shook his head slightly, trying to dislodge that disturbing thought. The more likely result would have been Roman dumping him before they’d spent years together.
And, now that he’d been with Joaquin, he was beginning to think that might have been a good thing. He’d never felt about Roman the way he did about Joaquin, and he should be afraid that this would all blow up in his face—that they’d planned to end this.
But he couldn’t help but hope.
He walked to the area of the building where they’d build the kitchen, and he couldn’t help but picture him and Joaquin cooking side by side, never breaking up at all. He wanted that with every fiber of his being. In that moment, he didn’t want to open a restaurant at all if it wasn’t with Joaquin—if he wasn’t with Joaquin.
“You’re deep in thought.”
“Huh?” He’d been so lost in his fantasies of what he wanted to happen that he hadn’t been paying attention to what was right in front of him. His only blood family. A woman who would do anything for him even as she was moving on with her life without him. His body ached at the thought of not being able to see Maya all the time. Not being as close to her would feel like losing something essential to him. “I love it.”
“You already said that.” Her brow furrowed, and he wanted to tell her she’d need Botox if she kept it up. But he didn’t. “You and Joaquin are fucking.”
How did she guess? Maybe it was the whole twin-like connection they shared.
Chapter 15
The following Tuesday, Felix was shaving when Joaquin shouted, “Fuck!” from where he’d previously been reclining and reading the paper. Worried that he might have hurt himself by trying to do too much now that he was free of the sling most of the time, Felix ran into the bedroom.
“What’s wrong?”
Joaquin put the paper down on the bed, a frustrated look on his face. “The restaurant got reviewed.”
The bottom of Felix’s stomach fell out. If the restaurant got a terrible review, everything would be ruined. Joaquin would tell him to fuck off and leave Cielo immediately. They wouldn’t be working together at the new restaurant. And their relationship—or whatever it was that they were doing—would definitely be over.
“It was bad?” Felix went over every service in his brain, trying to spot where he or the staff had gone wrong. Nothing. He couldn’t think of anything that had gone terribly wrong. But what did he know? He wasn’t a classically trained chef, just a cook.
“No.” Joaquin’s mouth was still pressed into a grim line. “It’s good. Really good.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Shouldn’t he be happy that his restaurant got a glowing review while he was laid up? Felix thought Joaquin had gotten over his God complex when it came to his restaurant.
“In Chef Delgado’s absence, the atmosphere of the restaurant has lightened considerably, allowing the stellar staff in his kitchen to dabble in the whimsical way that the dour executive chef would never allow.”
Shit. Joaquin might be working to overcome his tendency toward being a control freak about his kitchen, but this would most likely cause a major setback. Felix knew how the man he was currently sharing a bed with felt about his culinary reputation. He felt as though it was the only thing he had.
And now, Felix represented a threat to the reputation that he’d worked so hard to cultivate. That wouldn’t stand, and Felix had a feeling that their burgeoning affair would be collateral damage in Joaquin’s struggle to get back on top of his game.
“I’m sorry.” Felix wasn’t sorry for what he’d done in the kitchen and that the staff were being recognized for it. He was proud of them, and he was proud that he’d been able to keep such a complex ship afloat for over a month. But the way Joaquin’s cheeks flushed and his nostrils flared told him that his lover was angry and would want to be mollified.
“No need to apologize.”
“There isn’t?” That surprised him. But he was used to apologizing even when things weren’t actually his fault.
“I’m mad at myself.”
Felix moved over to the bed and sat on Joaquin’s side, hip to hip. “Why?”
“I’m such an asshole that my staff can’t even perform unless I’m out of sight and mind?” Joaquin’s anguish was written across his face. “They are so scared of me that it makes it hard for them to do their jobs?”
Felix put his hand over Joaquin’s and wouldn’t let him pull away when he tried. “You hired every one of those people, and you have a very distinct vision. They knew that when they signed on. Sure, you could yell at your staff a little less, but you don’t do it because you’re a mean person out to hurt people.”
“I don’t?” Joaquin punctuated his question with a rueful laugh that chilled Felix to his core. This beautiful, talented man who burned so hot when they fucked that he wasn’t sure he’d survive the burn thought he was a cold, mercenary bastard who hurt people on purpose. Really, it was the pressure he put on himself to be perfect that he projected out onto his staff that made them wary.
Everyone who worked for him believed in his singular vision so much that they took on his fear for fucking up. With him out of the way, they wanted to make up for the huge absence of Joaquin’s passion for his food in the kitchen. And they’d done a stellar job. But how to make his lover see that? How to make Joaquin take that in and own that he was the genius behind what his staff had done even when he wasn’t there?
“They wanted to make you proud, and so they’ve been working harder.”
Joaquin shook his head and pulled his hand away. Felix wasn’t going to let him get away with shutting down quite so easily, so he put his hands on either side of Joaquin’s face and made him meet his gaze. When he took a deep breath in, he smelled the sleep and sex coming off his lover’s skin and needed to close his eyes for a second.
“You could stand to be a little more friendly, and let your staff see a little bit more of the man I’ve gotten to know over the past few weeks.”
Joaquin gave him a look that could only be described as lascivious. “I don’t usually fuck the payroll.”
“You’d better not.” Heat crept up Felix’s neck at the thought of Joaquin touching anyone else—obviously, he still had
sore spots from his experience with Roman. They hadn’t talked about exclusivity, and maybe Felix should not have said that. But Joaquin didn’t tease him any further. “But you could maybe be a little bit friendlier. Share your passion for food, your excitement, but maybe throw stuff less.”
“I don’t know how to people very well.” Joaquin’s voice was shaky, and Felix wanted to cuddle the man to his chest. Hated seeing him hurt but wanting to hear it so he could slay his dragons for him. He’d never felt quite so protective about one of his lovers. He’d tended to be attracted to big, sexy, powerful men so independent that he could just hop on for the ride. Before this thing with Joaquin, he’d never felt respected as an equal partner who had something valuable to offer. Sad, but he liked that feeling now, and he was glad to have it with Joaquin. “I don’t know how much you know, but my father was a nightmare.”
“I don’t know much.” Felix knew that Alejandro Delgado was an asshole who had enabled his wife’s drug abuse and emotionally abused and neglected all of his children. He wasn’t surprised that strong, protective, sensitive Joaquin would have borne the brunt of it. “I know that he wasn’t a father to you. And I empathize.”
“I just never learned how to really communicate without aggression.” Joaquin shrugged his good shoulder, and Felix dropped his hand to it, squeezing the smooth skin over the muscle there. “Nobody at school fucked with me because I was always big and strong. And Max and I were so close in age we could have been twins. We didn’t really have to talk about how to deal with our shitty dad. I just knew when he needed me to take the consequences of us being kids, and he knew when I needed it.”
Felix could understand that. “Maya and I were always talkers.” Felix laughed. “Drove our mom fucking nuts because we’d talk for hours past bedtime every night. So much that we were tired at school the next day. But when shit hit the fan, she could tell me more with one look than a thousand of her expletive-laced sentences.”
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