All Hours

by ANDIE J. CHRISTOPHER

  “What do you want?” Maybe if he phrased the question differently, he could get Roman to get the fuck out.

  “I wanted to see you.” Roman took a step closer, and Felix stood his ground. He didn’t want Roman in his space, but he didn’t want his ex to think he still had any power over him. “I’ve missed you, Felix.”

  “You had a funny way of showing it.” Felix had returned home from a job one day and found Roman’s stuff missing from his house. He hadn’t even shown up to grab his clothes and fine leather goods himself. He’d given his key to a messenger, who left that key on the counter with a note on expensive stationery. Felix had been almost as mad that Roman had let a stranger into his house as he had been about his lover leaving him with a Dear John letter.

  He’d been expecting Roman to leave almost since they’d started dating. And he’d never had an ounce of the security that he felt when he was with Joaquin. Thinking of his current lover infused him with some of the confidence he needed in that moment.

  “You need to leave.”

  Roman raised a hand as though he wanted to caress Felix’s face, but Felix blocked him with his forearm just in time. He stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “You’re fucking Delgado.” It wasn’t a question from Roman. Of course, the only reason he wouldn’t fall for Roman’s shtick was that he was fucking someone new.

  As much as the petty part of him—which was a big fucking part of him—wanted to rub his new relationship in Roman’s face, he wasn’t going to do that. His relationship with Joaquin was too good and too new for him to use it that way.

  “Why are you here?”

  Roman backed up and walked around the counter so that they were facing each other. “I want you back.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “You were always telling me how to feel.” Roman was spouting revisionist history.

  Felix had always been honest with Roman that he hadn’t wanted to be in an open relationship. That wasn’t how he was built. He’d been hoping that sticking around would make Roman see that just having Felix was better than having a different fuckboy in every city in the Western Hemisphere. Honest communication had never been their problem. The real issue with the relationship was that Felix had never followed through on what he truly wanted and found it with someone else—until now.

  “I wasn’t telling you how to feel. I was telling you what I needed, and you couldn’t give it to me.”

  “I don’t think you really need what you think you need.” Roman adjusted his cuff links, something he did when he wasn’t entirely comfortable. “We both need to be out and explore other things. And now that you’ve been playing with Joaquin Delgado, maybe you’re ready to see that we could have more fun together if we had the freedom to see other people.”

  Fury made Felix shake. How dare Roman cheapen what he had with Joaquin to fucking? “We’re not going to do this. You left me, and you made it pretty clear that the end of our relationship was final when you left a note and your key. Who I’m fucking or not fucking now is not any of your business.”

  “That’s my point. It wasn’t any of my business before—”

  Felix held up a hand. “That’s the point. I wanted it to be your business. We don’t want the same things.”

  “Are you in love with Delgado?”

  He was, but he was going to tell Joaquin that instead of yelling it out of anger to his ex. “Again, not your business.”

  “If you’re in love with Joaquin, it is.” Roman had a sly smile on his face that Felix knew only meant trouble. It was the same look he got on his face right before he outbid someone on a deal. That smile used to turn Felix on—he knew he’d be getting some of that good dick when Roman had that smile. Now, it just made a knot form in his stomach.

  “What the fuck do you mean?” He’d worked hard to sound nonchalant, but he’d definitely failed.

  “I own Joaquin Delgado.”

  “No one owns Joaquin Delgado.” Felix wanted to own the surly chef’s heart, but that wasn’t what Roman was talking about.

  “You’re right. But I own the building we’re standing in right now.”

  Shit. Roman thought that he could pull Felix’s strings because he owned the building that housed Cielo. He thought that he’d swan in here and threaten to raise the rent so high that the restaurant had to close. Roman believed that Felix would go back to him and live in the same limbo he’d been living in for years if he threatened Joaquin’s business. Roman knew how fierce Felix was on behalf of those he cared about.

  “You’re a shitty person, you know that?”

  Roman’s smile broadened. “I’m a shitty person who knows how to get what I want.”

  “You’re not going to get it this time.” Felix had to believe that Joaquin cared about him more than he cared about the brick and mortar that made up this restaurant. After all, they were starting something new together, and that took precedence over this place, didn’t it?

  Either way, he wasn’t about to show Roman that he was unsure about whether Joaquin would choose him over his lifelong dream.

  Because Joaquin Delgado was the only dream that mattered to Felix anymore. If Joaquin had been serious about making a life together, then having to move locations wouldn’t rate.

  “Does he know you own this place?”

  Roman smirked. “I just recently acquired the building through a holding company. You’re the only one who knows.”

  “So, you just recently bought the building so you could try to blackmail me into being with you again?”

  “I wouldn’t call it blackmail. That’s so crass.”

  That was it. Felix was done. As soon as he got Roman to leave, he was going over to Joaquin’s place. Even though Joaquin still needed his rest, he’d wake him up and tell him what had gone down tonight. He’d just hope against hope that Joaquin was as serious as he was about their relationship and wouldn’t dump him to avoid losing this place. That he’d value the dream they had together more than he valued four walls, a roof, and a floor.

  “No, you’re what’s crass. Get the fuck out.”

  * * * *

  When Felix got back to Joaquin’s condo, his boyfriend was sleeping like a baby. Like a baby who couldn’t detect light, movement, or sound. He’d probably tried to come back to work far too soon for where he was in his healing. He couldn’t lift anything over his head and couldn’t lift anything more than ten pounds with his injured shoulder, but he could still check sauces, correct a sloppy dice, and yell at people—though he’d cut back on the last thing.

  Felix stared at him using the light from the bathroom for a long moment. He didn’t want to tell him what had happened with Roman. Correction, he did want to tell him, but he was terrified as to how he would react.

  What they had was so new, so tenuous. If Joaquin was looking for an excuse to back away, this would give him the perfect opportunity.

  Felix was angry at himself for not expecting this. Every time he’d tried to break things off with Roman, his ex had found a way to reel him back in. He’d always been a manipulative prick, but Felix hadn’t seen that he deserved better. He’d always deserved better. But now that Roman was the one who’d broken things off, he hadn’t followed, and Roman couldn’t stand that.

  He’d acted as though he wanted Felix to be grateful that he was willing to take him back on his shitty terms. And he knew that not giving Roman what he wanted and waiting for things to pass wasn’t an option. He would find a way to destroy what Felix had found with Joaquin, just out of spite.

  He knew very well that Roman would lose interest if he actually got what he wanted. If Felix left Joaquin and made noises like he wanted to get back with Roman, his ex-lover would fade away like the ghost of boyfriends past.

  So Felix had to break up with Joaquin, and he could never tell him that the ghost of his form
er lover was coming to haunt them both. And then he had to hope that he could move on with his life without what Joaquin gave him.

  Chapter 18

  Felix was already up and out of his bed when Joaquin woke up the next morning. He wasn’t used to the dull ache of missing someone, and he didn’t like it. Luckily, he probably wouldn’t have to miss Felix for too much longer. He had an appointment with his doctor today and hoped to be cleared to go back to work full-time. His regular level of energy still wasn’t back, but he would never get there unless he started pushing himself.

  And he would have to push himself if he was going to helm two restaurants—even with Felix as his business partner. Being with Felix all the time, making a life with him, put a spring in his step as he got himself showered and over to his orthopedist’s office.

  A few hours later, his mood was even more buoyant. His progress had astonished his doctor, and Joaquin had to stifle a laugh at the woman’s question about what he’d been doing. The correct answer was that his recovery was all about who he was doing. The man he was excited to see right at that moment.

  He opened the door to their new space. The construction team had already gotten started, and the space that would become the dining room had been stripped to the studs. From what he could see, the kitchen had been similarly torn apart. He only saw Javi there, though.

  “Where’s Felix?”

  That earned him a wry grin from his cousin. “Ah, young love!”

  “Shut up, Javi.”

  “What? You think I’m going to pass up the opportunity to give you shit about this? Especially now that we’ll be brothers-in-law as well as cousins.”

  “As much as I’m looking forward to being your brother-cousin,” Joaquin said, surprised that the assumption that he and Felix would make things legal eventually didn’t make him want to crawl out of his skin, “I think we should probably not try to make things sound quite so incestuous.”

  “Good point. Come over here and look at these blueprints. We need to be sure that the high-end appliances you want will fit in the roughed-out space.”

  Felix walked in a few minutes later, looking harried. “What did I miss?”

  “Just the boring stuff.” Joaquin couldn’t resist walking over to him. He hadn’t hugged him or touched his mouth since the previous morning, and he hated that it had been that long. But Felix avoided his lips. He didn’t step out of his arms, though, so Joaquin tried to tamp down his worry. “You’re here for the really exciting stuff—timelines.”

  “About that—” Felix licked his lips and looked over at Javi. “Can we talk? Alone?”

  “I have to get back to the office in a bit,” Javi said. “We really have to get through this.”

  Felix’s brow furrowed, and Joaquin wished he could see inside his lover’s mind. Something really had to be troubling him if it was getting in the way of his excitement about their restaurant, but that would have to wait.

  Luckily, Felix seemed to shake whatever was bothering him off. “No worries. Let’s look at plans.”

  * * * *

  Joaquin’s first night back was a shitty service. Possibly the shittiest service since Cielo’s soft open. They’d had multiple dishes sent back. It seemed that his entire staff had forgotten what “medium rare” meant. And Felix had called in sick, so he didn’t even have anyone there who he felt would back him up.

  His shoulder ached, and the muscles in his neck and jaw were tired from keeping the yelling in. The only thing that had gone right that night was that he hadn’t completely lost it with anyone. Not even when one of the new chefs Felix had hired burned a fifty-dollar order of branzino.

  By the time the kitchen smelled of industrial cleaners rather than failure, all he wanted to do was fall into his bed. But he couldn’t do that because Felix wasn’t there, and he could no longer sleep without his man next to him. And he wanted to check on him to make sure that he wasn’t downplaying his illness. Joaquin had the feeling that his lover was the kind of guy who would put off going to the doctor unless his dick had turned black and fallen off.

  He was always putting others before himself, and Joaquin’s new job, on top of being the best chef in Miami—which he’d failed at that night—was making sure that someone took care of Felix.

  Packing up some leftovers and heading to Felix’s house in an older but well-maintained section of the city buoyed his mood somewhat. The windows were dark when he pulled up to the small Spanish-style bungalow with a neatly trimmed yard and lush trees and bushes.

  He knew he was in the right place because he pulled in behind Felix’s car. His lover wasn’t expecting him, so maybe he’d gone to bed early. Maybe he would be irritated that Joaquin had shown up. Or maybe he wasn’t sick at all, and he’d just made an excuse because he’d been working himself to the bone. The worst possibility of all was that he’d needed space from Joaquin and hadn’t been able to say it. They’d been spending most of their free time together. And, up until tonight, Joaquin had had a lot of free time on his hands. He’d never been in a real relationship that wasn’t solely based on sex before. Because he’d had his walls so high for so long, maybe he was violating Felix’s boundaries without even knowing it.

  He hesitated before ringing the doorbell. If Felix was sick and asleep or sick and tired of looking at Joaquin’s face, this was a terrible idea. Even though they’d agreed that they were together for real, maybe this would be enough to scare Felix off. He’d been in a relationship for years with someone else. And his ex hadn’t spent much time in Miami—Joaquin had actually never seen them together at a family gathering. Maybe that was the kind of relationship that Felix wanted.

  Doubts clawed at Joaquin and made the ache in his shoulder and all the words he’d bitten back throughout the day claw to get out. He wasn’t angry with Felix for needing a night off, but he didn’t know what to do with the feelings plaguing him. He wasn’t used to doubting himself. This was why he’d hidden away in a kitchen for years.

  Food was simple. People were not.

  Still, underneath all his doubts, his need to see Felix outweighed them all. He pushed the button for the doorbell and didn’t have to wait long until he saw a light flick on through the glass pane in the door and heard Felix pad toward the entry.

  When Felix opened the door, still rubbing his eyes, T-shirt all askew, it was clear that he really had been asleep. Joaquin stepped into the hall and noticed that Felix’s nostrils were red, and his eyes were inflamed.

  “Oh pobrecito.”

  “I told you I was sick, Joaquin.” He was taken aback at the sharp tone of Felix’s voice. He was usually so easygoing that Joaquin was at a loss for words for a moment. But then Felix softened. “I don’t want you to catch anything.”

  “If you have a bug, I’m sure to get it soon.” He pressed the back of his hand to Felix’s forehead. A memory of his mother doing the same thing before everything had gone to shit in their lives rushed in, along with a tenderness toward this cranky version of Felix that he never would have expected of himself. “You don’t have a fever. It’s probably allergies.”

  Felix motioned for him to follow into the living room, where he picked up a remote and turned on the TV. “Well, I’m awake now.” And he still sounded pissed about it as he flopped down onto the cozy leather couch.

  Everything about Felix’s place was cozy and soft—the total opposite of Joaquin’s stark, modern condo. The place practically screamed out Felix’s name—it was all bright color and soft surfaces. It was personal, in your face, everything on display. They were so different in so many ways that Joaquin wondered if they were truly too different to make things work. He hoped not, was hoping that this was just a temporary blip in their new thing together. He’d known that they would have challenges—that the sex haze that seemed to make problems disappear wouldn’t last forever—but he hadn’t expected their first bump in the road to come so so
on. Just as he’d gotten back on his feet.

  “I brought food.” Joaquin wasn’t used to trying this hard with Felix. This was kind of a role reversal. When Felix just sort of grunted, he said, “I’m sorry for waking you. I was just worried. Do you want me to leave?”

  Felix gave him a soft look and extended his hand over the back of the sofa. “Put it in the fridge and come cuddle. I’m not hungry yet.”

  All of Joaquin’s worries washed away as he met Felix’s gaze. He’d just been cranky about being woken in the middle of the night. Everything would be okay.

  Chapter 19

  Felix woke up on his couch, facedown on Joaquin’s chest. Exactly where he wanted to wake up for the rest of his life. But that wasn’t going to happen. He had to break things off this morning. After he’d given Joaquin coffee and breakfast. Felix wasn’t an idiot, and he wasn’t about to make Joaquin think that he didn’t want him anymore if he hadn’t fed and caffeinated the man first.

  Although he tried not to jostle him awake, Joaquin growled, and his eyes opened as Felix pulled away. The man had lashes that most people paid good money for, and Felix wanted to drink up the way his green eyes looked framed by them. He couldn’t help but run his fingers over the bristles of his beard and his lower lip. And no one in their right mind would have been able to resist dipping in for the soft kiss that he took.

  Felix was so deep in love with Joaquin Delgado that he didn’t know which way was up. The way this man made him feel was so deep that he felt like he was drowning in it. And Joaquin was the only anchor he had.

  His anchor shifted and groaned into his mouth, pulling him down over him until their bodies were flush. Felix’s allergy medication had done the trick overnight, and he hadn’t breathed in any new pollen that morning. So he wasn’t really concerned about getting his lover sick. And Joaquin didn’t seem to care either way. The way he took over the kiss that had started out sweet and ate at his mouth, the way his hands roamed over his body told him that Joaquin didn’t care about a runny nose at all.