Holding Out for You

by Anna Paige

  I chuckled, keeping my smile firmly in place as we walked into the restaurant, even as another wave of white-hot rage surged through me.

  It gave me comfort, my rage, because it would keep me from feeling anything else for him. It would protect me. Keep my heart safe from his lies, like a moat of burning lava that even his most convincing line of bullshit couldn’t permeate.

  Although I could feel it scorching my own heart, purifying the parts he’d crept into and refused to vacate, it was worth it.

  Let it fucking burn.

  The restaurant was busy as always, with the sounds of forks and spoons clattering and a moderate hum of conversation all around us. We were at a booth in the far corner, affording us a clear view of most of the main dining area. There was a banquet area in the back that was used for overflow seating, but it didn’t look like it had been needed yet.

  The scents were an interesting mix of bacon and sausage layered with fried chicken and the tangy scent of the minced barbecue the place was most famous for. At this time of day, all things on the menu were fair game and the smells were enough to make your mouth water.

  “So, did you get Mom’s roast out of the freezer?” I pulled a chunk of buttery, yeasty bread from the slice on my plate.

  Beck tipped his head slightly, chewing a moment. “Yeah, I realized why it needed to thaw so long when I saw it. Frigging thing is over eight pounds. I have no idea who she’s planning to feed, but I foresee a shit ton of leftovers in my future.”

  “Oh, boo hoo. Like you don’t live for Mom’s leftover roast beef sandwiches.”

  “Hey, I can cook almost as well as her, as proved by the stellar meatloaf last night.” He’d cooked it because it was my favorite, and he was right. It had been incredible.

  “True, but everything’s still better when Mom cooks it.”

  He cocked his head, brows furrowed. “Yeah, it really is. Why is that?”

  “No idea. Maybe she’s been holding out on us and there’s some secret ‘Mom’ ingredient we don’t know about.”

  The waitress showed up just then and brought our food, which killed the conversation for a while as we dug in.

  Charli sighed dreamily between bites, nodding to my plate. We’d ordered the same thing. “I almost want to go back to waitressing part time just so I can work here and steal this recipe for myself.”

  I snorted as I speared another forkful of the quiche that had my best friend so blissfully happy. “You hated waiting tables. I think you’d be better off trying to bribe the info out of one of the cooks.”

  Beck reached over and stole a bite off my plate before muttering, “I could make that.”

  Charli pursed her lips, looking doubtful. “Uh-huh.”

  “No, really.”

  “Okay, smarty. Then how about next Sunday, instead of coming here for brunch, you make this quiche for us at our place?”

  “Are you seriously challenging me to prove I can do it or is it because you’re looking for a free brunch?” he countered, giving her a bland look.

  “Does it matter?”

  Seriously, they were acting so much like me and Ash that I had to wonder where it was coming from. I knew Charli had a crush on Beck, but this was the first I’d ever seen of him actively engaging with her, at least on this level. He’d never been mean, it wasn’t in his nature to be a jerk, but he’d maintained a certain level of distance over the years, presumably not to encourage her. But he’d been downright attentive to her the last two days, which I found interesting.

  My only concern was if he was doing this—being protective and attentive—because of Tommy. What if he didn’t realize it might give her hope, how bad would he feel later on when she was once again disappointed to find herself friend-zoned?

  “Hey, Becker! I thought that was you guys!”

  For fuck’s sake.

  Cody again.

  “Hey, man. How’s it going?” Beck grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth.

  “Good, good. Picking up some grub to take home. Got some serious gaming happening around twelve, so if I don’t eat now, I’ll end up starving all afternoon.” He looked around the table and nodded to me and Charli before returning his attention to my brother. “I see your boy didn’t waste any time yesterday.”

  Shit.

  Beck frowned up at him. “Meaning?”

  Cody glanced at me and Charli before shrugging. “Marin. He had her over at his place for a while yesterday. Saw her car there. And then this morning, the damn car was back, but in a different spot. Guess she wanted seconds.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I texted him, told him I should have kept her number for myself, but he didn’t answer. Guess he was too occupied with his guest.”

  My brother didn’t smile, didn’t laugh, and pointedly didn’t react when Cody held up his hand for a fist bump. I watched Cody’s expression shift as he realized something was amiss.

  “Well, anyways. I came over to see how it went at the courthouse yesterday.” He waited for Beck to respond and when he didn’t, I cut in.

  “It went. Gave our statements and left, same as you, I’d imagine.”

  “Yeah, that’s about how it happened for me too.” He kept glancing between me and my brother, giving him a confused look before shooting me a questioning one, like maybe I could explain why Beck went stone silent all of a sudden.

  I thought maybe I knew, but I wasn’t about to share it with Cody. “Great seeing you again, Cody. If you’ll excuse us, our food’s getting cold.”

  He was subdued as he nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You guys eat. I’ll catch you later.”

  “Later, Cody,” Charli said, picking at her food as she too watched my brother.

  I hadn’t thought about how she must be feeling until I saw the look on her face just then. Assuming she came to the same conclusion as me and realized Beck was at this very moment sitting across from her pining for someone else, seeing him like that must really sting.

  Leave it to Ash to hit us all with one fucking shot.

  Blair

  The rest of our brunch was quiet as the three of us got lost in our own thoughts for a while and picked at our food until we ended up with three plates of unrecognizable particles. When the waitress came around to check on us, I ordered a mimosa and my brother didn’t bat an eye. Typically, he would have glanced at the time and at the very least shaken his head at how early I was partaking, but not today. Today, he looked as though he was damn close to ordering a drink of his own, despite his Mr. Responsible facade.

  I’d always found it strange that he was so close to Ash, to be honest. Where Beck was the reliable, steadfast, dependable one, Ash was all over the place, reckless and wild, not at all concerned about appearances or reputation.

  Beck knew what he wanted out of life and charged head first toward it. Ash drifted along, content to wing it. Beck studied hard in school. Ash couldn’t be bothered to apply himself but somehow managed to get the grades anyway, often matching or beating Beck’s GPA without seeming to expend any effort at all.

  Nothing about them matched up, but that didn’t seem to matter.

  I often wondered if there was something Becker knew or saw in Ash that the rest of us didn’t.

  Now, of course, I didn’t think enough of Ash to ask or care.

  I just wished he and Beck would get their shit straight, if only so I wouldn’t have to see my brother so miserable.

  “Hey, Beck,” I said and watched as he grudgingly looked up from his plate. “Since you were so awesome and cooked for us last night, how about we cook for you tonight?”

  “We?” Charli practically spat her sweet tea across the table. “What, are you trying to kill the poor guy? I’m not to be trusted in a kitchen. I already told you that.”

  I waved her off. “You can chop vegetables or something.”

  “Hope you don’t mind a little pinky finger mixed into your vegetable medley,” she muttered to Beck, causing him to chuckle.

  I loved the smile he gave her before turning
to me. It made me feel so much better to see him perk up that way. “Depends on what you plan to cook. I’m not easily impressed.”

  “Don’t you worry about the menu. You just bring your appetite. There’ll be no picking at your food like you did here.” I nodded to his plate.

  “Eh, you won’t have to worry about that. I just wasn’t that hungry this morning. By tonight, I’m sure I’ll be so starved even your cooking will seem edible.”

  “Dick.” I pretended to be offended and tossed my napkin at him.

  Charli giggled as she watched us. “If my brother had said that to me, I would have thrown a knife instead of a napkin.”

  “Yeah, but your brother really is a dick.”

  “Got that shit right,” she muttered, shaking her head.

  Becker was watching her again in that new, oddly intent way. “He’s an idiot. Always has been. You can’t expect much of someone whose head is that far up their ass.” He tapped the table in front of Charli’s plate, bringing her head up and her eyes to meet his. “He’ll live to regret how he’s treated you over the years. He missed out on a great relationship when he chose to be your tormentor instead of your protector.”

  Just when I thought I couldn’t love my brother any more, he goes and does something like this.

  And if Charli wasn’t already half in love with him, what he just said would have surely pushed her over the edge.

  He reached out and patted both of us on the arm as he stood. “I’m gonna take care of the bill and head out. I have a couple errands to run, but I’ll be back to your place by five. You two stay here and chat as long as you want. And if you need me to come back before five, call me.” He looked pointedly between us. “That goes for either one of you. I won’t be far, if you need me.”

  “Thanks, Beck. Love you.” I was half out of my chair already when he rounded the table and pulled me into a hug.

  “Love you too, Blair-bear.” He let go and before I realized what he was doing, he leaned down and kissed Charli on the forehead, causing her to freeze with her mouth wide-open. “See you ladies this afternoon.”

  Charli’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times like a fish gasping on a boat deck, but nothing would come out, so she nodded as best as she could and stared at me with wide eyes as he walked away.

  “The fuck just happened? Did my brother just . . . ?”

  “Eep . . .” Charli was literally incapable of speech, but that little sound that squeaked out was the single most hilarious thing I had ever heard, and before I could stop myself, I burst out laughing so hard I was in serious danger of pissing my pants.

  I plopped down into my seat and leaned into her, resting my head on her shoulder as I laughed myself silly, tears streaming and side cramping with the force of it. I couldn’t stop, couldn’t breathe, and knew damn well everyone in the place was watching, but that somehow only made it funnier. After a moment, Charli joined me, and we sat there for a good five minutes, laughing like a couple of loons.

  Every time we began to settle down, I would hear the little squeak in my head again and crack up.

  “Eep!” I managed between fits of giggles and Charli lost it again, covering her face with her hands.

  I heard a woman at a nearby table tell the waitress she wanted one of whatever we were drinking, and that got us both going all over again.

  By the time we got ourselves together, Beck was long gone, and half the restaurant was probably annoyed with our outburst, but we didn’t give a shit.

  After the weekend we’d been having, we deserved a laugh.

  And, damn, did we have one.

  Ashton

  “Jeez, Mom,” I muttered to no one in particular as I pulled yet another book from under the seat of my truck. From the looks of the cover, it was another one of the pervy books she took to “book club” every week.

  I turned it over and read the back, partially out of curiosity and partially out of the need to not be looking at the bare-chested, ripped dude on the cover.

  I scanned the back cover and winced. Yep, definitely a lot of fucking going on in this one. Just like the last two I yanked out from between the seats.

  Oh, and the one she’d hidden in the console that, I swear to fuck, showed actual cock on the cover.

  I gave a little shudder and added the book to the plastic bag of mom’s crap I was expunging from my ride.

  It wasn’t particularly hot today, squarely in the seventies, but I was breaking out in a sweat. The biggest problem with a black-on-black truck was the heat inside built quickly, but there was no way I was running the AC while I detailed the damn thing. I’d just have to suffer.

  Getting Mom’s porn stash out of my truck was worth it, that was for damn sure.

  I shuddered again.

  “You’re un-fucking-believable, you know that?”

  I’d been leaning into the open front passenger door of the truck, rooting around under the seat when Beck’s voice came out of nowhere.

  I hadn’t even heard him pull up.

  I dropped the bag in my hand into the floorboard and turned to face him. “I’m unbelievable? Me? That’s rich, Beck, given the shit you pulled yesterday.”

  He walked over and kicked the back tire on the Civic, which was parked beside my truck. “Yeah, real rich. So, where’s your little friend? Inside recovering? Did she give it to you so good that you’re gonna detail her car next?”

  “You can’t be fucking serious right now.” I could feel my blood pressure rising. How dare he come over here and start this shit.

  “I’m deadly fucking serious.” He stepped into my space and glared at me like he was ready to throw blows. “Were you thinking about how much you loved my sister while you were shacked up with Marin all goddamn night?”

  I looked over at the Civic and shook my head. “You’re so far off base, Beck. How could you call yourself my friend and then come over here thinking that shit?”

  “Ran into Cody this morning. He saw the car here yesterday afternoon then it was back this morning in a different spot. Guess she got a taste of something she liked and came back for more, huh?”

  “Fuck you, Becker. I don’t answer to you.” Now I was livid. “Cody knows so much about what or who I’m doing, go fucking talk to him. Maybe he’s in the market for a best friend. Ask him if he’s looking to rent a room, too, because I’m not living with someone who thinks so little of me.” I took a big step forward and got so far in his face our noses damn near touched. “Now get off my goddamn driveway.”

  He stood there for a second and I was half hoping he’d take a swing, but he didn’t. He just stared me down and took a step back, shaking his head as he did. “Cody might not know when to shut up, but at least what you see is what you get with him. He doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t. Now more than ever, I respect the hell out of that. World’s full of people who can’t be trusted.”

  “Goddamn right it is,” I agreed, glaring right back at him.

  “I’ll be sure to give Blair your best. She’s doing fine, by the way. Seems to have shrugged you off pretty quick. I always said she was smarter than me. Took me ages to catch on.” He turned to leave.

  “Yeah, I’m not so good at seeing a snake as a snake, either. But they eventually reveal themselves,” I called out behind him as I pivoted back to the truck and grabbed my mom’s stuff. I refused to acknowledge what he said about Blair. I’d been waiting for her to calm down before I reached out, but now I was sure he’d fill her in on his version of events and she’d never give me a chance to state my case.

  Just fucking perfect.

  I knew I should have pushed right from the beginning, but I was pissed. I was pissed at her for instantly thinking the worst and then I was pissed because it was obvious Beck had fallen into the same line of thought.

  That motherfucker should have known better.

  Maybe I hadn’t had enough time to prove myself with Blair, but I’d damn well proven myself to Becker over the years. Dozens of times,
if not hundreds. And I deserved better.

  So, yes, a part of me was biding my time to see how long it would take for him to come around.

  Because I wanted to see just how wrong my closest friend on the planet could be about me.

  And in the process, I ended up breaking my own damn heart.

  I shouldn’t have waited them out, I should have yelled the truth right in their faces the second Cody walked down those courthouse steps, but I didn’t.

  Too late now. It was done.

  When Beck was in his truck, pulling away, I shook off the belated epiphany, opened the passenger door of the Civic, and started to unload my mom’s books and assorted junk into the console and glove box.

  When everything that would fit was tucked inside, I grabbed the scraper from my back pocket and went to work on the stickers on the back glass, removing them one small strip at a time.

  Marin promised to dig out the title to it after she got off work this evening, hunting down a notary while she was at it.

  As soon as the license plate agency opened in the morning, I’d transfer everything over and Mom would be back on the road.

  In the car I’d bought to replace her junker.

  The Civic I’d decided to buy off Marin when I heard she hadn’t used it as a trade on her new SUV.

  It cost me five grand, a best friend, and the woman I loved.

  Blair

  For the first time since starting college, I skipped class for no real reason.

  Yes, technically I was attending court proceedings, but I didn’t have to, wasn’t subpoenaed or anything. I just needed to be there. Needed to see what happened for myself. Needed to watch them haul him out in handcuffs, looking as vulnerable and utterly at the mercy of others as he’d made me feel on that beach.

  Charli wasn’t at all excited about going, but she refused to let me go alone. I didn’t tell Beck I planned to attend, because I knew he’d give me shit about it. He had a job interview this morning, and by the time it was over, court would be, too.