T is for Time

by Paul Vayro

  Chapter Twenty One

  “We’ve lost him haven’t we?” Spiritwind verbalised the general thought as the group struggled to find a lead on Zarg’s whereabouts.

  “Is anything ever truly lost?” Brick tried to sound ponderous.

  “I lost me favourite pen when I was thirteen.” Spiritwind rebutted the ponderous notion.

  “Obviously I meant in a more cerebral sense.” Brick maintained a pompous air.

  “He’ll turn up again. A little belief can go a long way in these situations.” Fate spoke from a position of authority on the matter. It was the final word as the foursome continued in the direction Zarg had last been seen heading. Reaching a junction offering three residential streets, they stopped.

  “Which way?” Brick pointed out the obvious question. There were no little, green aliens to be seen on any of the options.

  “Left, right or straight ahead?” Fate could say no more.

  “Which way would you advise, being the all seeing Fate?” Brick searched for assistance.

  “Whichever way feels right.” Fate was non committal.

  “Is that one of those subliminal tricks to make us say right without realising you told us to?” Brick had watched too many magicians on telly.

  “It wasn’t anything. It was just advice.” Fate didn’t know what he was meant to be denying but did so vehemently.

  “I see. You can’t help us. Message received.” Brick nodded and winked as though he got the subliminal message but would keep it secret. “We need to turn right.” Brick whispered to Spiritwind. The fellow hero accepted the news with a similar tap of the nose. The group continued to the right. Fate considered protesting his innocence but didn’t see the point.

  Brick and Spiritwind strolled ahead, Fate and Fut followed behind assuming the air of watchful parents wandering through a park with their offspring. Fate took the opportunity to speak to Fut about the error he had become aware of.

  “Can I speak to you in confidence Fut?”

  “Always, my foresighted friend. What goes in my head don’t feel no need to come out without good reason.” It was Fut’s version of yes.

  “It appears there may have been a mix up with our heroes. It’s possible that the duo in front of us may not in fact be the pair trained from birth to defend the Earth.” Fut nodded along as Brick found himself trapped amidst a frozen flock of fleeing pigeons. Spiritwind could only shake his head in a knowingly mocking manner. “It’s possible that the true saviours live next door to these two.”

  “That may be an error of far reaching proportions my friend.”

  “I know. It wasn’t entirely my fault. A set of circumstances too ridiculous to go through came together to thwart me.”

  “Or…..” Fate liked Fut’s ‘ors’. “Maybe the dudes that do wouldn’t have done. Perhaps these cats are the ones that can see us through and those errors just be fate working in ways too mysterious for even you to know about?” The added sway of the neck made it all the more plausible.

  “I like that take on it.” Fate drummed his chin. “I think its God that works in mysterious ways though, not me.”

  “God don’t work. I been to his office more times than a bee’s buzzed and he always out playing golf or lunchin.’”

  “Guess they’re the perks of being the figure head of the franchise. So you think Brick and Spiritwind may be up to the task?” Fate continued to watch the twosome.

  “I just think what I think, truth don’t always follow. You even checked what they can do?”

  “That’s a good point actually. Cheers Fut.” Fut shrugged in an encouraging manner as Fate approached the Earthlings. Having freed himself from the pigeons, Brick swung from a wasp. Spiritwind balanced atop a row of dandelions.

  “I see you like…..gymnastic type things.” Fate didn’t know how to describe what the two were doing. “How were you at P.E?” He tried to form his request for information in to a more recognisable question.

  “I never really saw the point in running unless I was being chased.” Brick fell flat on his back, again.

  “Plus if you did well one week they always expected you to do better the week after. If you ran within your means you could always improve if needed.” Spiritwind skipped on to a cobweb.

  Fate screwed up his mouth and looked to the sky. “What about building things? Were you good at woodwork?”

  “I did woodwork, although I was asked to leave after super gluing my eyebrow to the sanding machine.” Brick clambered back to his feet. He rubbed his thigh even though it didn’t hurt.

  “Physics?”

  “I liked science.” Fate raised a grin at Brick’s declaration. “But science didn’t like me.” The grin returned to a frown.

  “What are you good at?”

  “I’m a great cook.” Spiritwind beamed as he offered a fairy cake as proof. Fate declined. He didn’t trust any food produced from a hidden source.

  “And I’m your man for inventing things.” Brick had nothing to offer in support.

  “Really, what have you made?” Fate saw a glimmer of hope.

  “I’m strictly an ideas man. I leave the building side of things to my team.”

  “So what has your team built?”

  “Well I’m still waiting for funding for an actual team.” Fate covered his eyes as reality asked to be accepted. Brick continued. “I do have one idea about our mission though. If you’re the all seeing Fate why don’t you just tell us what we’re supposed to do? You must have seen us win otherwise you wouldn’t have picked us, right?” The smiles were difficult to shoot down with the truth. Fate avoided the issue of his error and focused on the technicalities of his job.

  “Being Fate doesn’t exactly work like that. I don’t see the future. I merely guide a number of events to achieve an overall outcome. My ability lies in being able to see the inter-connected nature of humanity and the consequence of action.”

  “Due to the social instincts of humans as a race?” Brick studied a falling spider as he nonchalantly revealed one of the many coherent thoughts he usually hid behind inane rambling.

  “Exactly.” Fate was pleased to find at least some vein of understanding. He continued to explain. “Keeping track of every conscious being on the planet requires a lot of notes and some ridiculously hard sums. I deal in cause and affect on a grand scale. For instance, I knew that if I allowed a certain young lady the chance to win a little extra cash whilst shopping she would go out that evening. With her propensity for drunken theft and mischief, and her habit of walking to a particular street before hailing a taxi, I could be sure she would leave any large, stolen objects in the nearest garden. Your tendency to leave for work with the bare minimum of time, combined with your infinite curiosity and work shy attitude, meant I could easily secure you the day off.” Fate paused for any plaudits. None were forthcoming. He continued in a more sheepish fashion.

  “Knowing what would be required to keep you safe from the beam that has frozen Earth, I arranged for your positions in the yoghurt factory several weeks ago. And knowing how you would amuse yourselves if I could give you the day off, I merely set the wheels in motion and waited, for no better word, for fate to take its course. As for the exact route the young lady would take to your house and who won the game of yoghurt bucket,…” Both men pointed to themselves. “…they are insignificant details I neither need nor want to know. They are simply the gravel that lines the path, irrelevant in terms of the path's structure and direction, only there to take your mind off the fact that a path even exists.”

  “Do you not know your own path though, because if we’re together you should be able to look at your own future and have a sneaky peek at us while doing so?” Spiritwind probed further.

  “I choose not to see my own path. Where would the fun of life be without the unexpected? I occasionally catch a glimpse of myself in other people’s lives but I’m quite skilled at forgetting things.”

  “I can never forget things. Unless it’s somet
hing I need to remember. Go on, ask me.” Brick spoke to Spiritwind. The bald man understood exactly to what his friend referred.

  “How many green elephants?”

  “Eighteen thousand two hundred and eight.” Brick spoke the number solemnly. “Four years I’ve been trying to forget that number.”

  “I have to ask why?” Fate obliged his curiosity.

  “Because he bet me that I couldn’t.” Spiritwind smirked back, popping a fun size bar of something chocolaty in his mouth.

  “Why not flip the instructions to your mind? Say forget to what you need to know and store what you need to leave behind?” Fut bordered on sense.

  “My mind is a tricky beast. It’ll know I’m up to something and double bluff me.”

  “Shoot that tactic down with a triple bluff.”

  “That’s a whole world of confusion waiting to be lost in; plus where’s the fun in having a perfect memory?” Brick came to his own peace.

  “I ain’t got no solutions for thinking like that.” Fut admitted defeat.

  “So to put things simply, if we ask which way to go, you’re not going to answer?” Spiritwind brought the conversation back to the mission as they were faced with another fork in the road.

  “I can’t. It’s too specific.” Fate shrugged his defence

  The group turned right without any discussion or reason and found themselves on another residential street of little distinction. It appeared quiet and respectable. Many people had been frozen en route to work or taking children to school. Cars were in the midst of being loaded and faces offered tired and rushed expressions. Out of nowhere a sound interrupted the silence. It was that of a body striking the bonnet of a car. Brick ducked behind the vehicle they were next to.

  “What are you doing down there?” Spiritwind turned to his friend.

  “Just checking the tyres. Interested in what affect being frozen in time has on such a material.” Brick was convincing nobody.

  “Nothing to do with the loud bang making you jump for cover?” Spiritwind smirked as he observed the scene across the road.

  “Was there a bang? I must have missed that. I was checking the tyre you see. Is something going on?” Brick semi peered over the bonnet of the car he was ‘checking’.

  “Looks like somebody being arrested. Hold on. That’s a complete lie.” Before Spiritwind’s eyes the scene changed to a man in a violently, bright green suit walking a dog barely as big as its lead. A double take had never been so appropriate, Spiritwind executed it to perfection. “You really should stand up. You’ll like it.”

  “He’s right. They won’t take any notice of us.” Fate reassured Brick as he rose to his full height in stages. His confidence returned with each inch.

  “They’re not scary at all. I don’t know what you were worried about.” Brick nudged his friend in the ribs, catching him in a particularly sensitive spot. Spiritwind flinched as the scene changed again to a mother shouting at her infant. Brick returned to his cowering position in shock.

  “I thought you’d checked that tyre?” Spiritwind queried his friend while rubbing his poked side.

  “I did. I think I must have slipped.” Brick played out the charade of checking the floor. Spiritwind’s expression suggested he wasn’t convinced, and that his ribs really hurt.

  “What’s going on then? What are they because they're clearly not people?” Brick moved on to Fate for an answer to the curious scenes.

  “They’re Conversation Makers.” Fate enticed further questioning as he stroked his chin.

  “Of course. Conversation Makers.” Brick refused to be drawn in to questioning when enticed. He felt people should just say what they wanted to rather than engineering a query.

  “You know what they are?” Fate fell into his own verbal trap as he queried Brick.

  “Not a clue. Feel free to explain though.” Brick ticked off his moral victory.

  “A Conversation Maker….”

  “Hold on.” Brick interrupted Fate. “Are you listening Spiritwind? I wouldn’t want you to have to go through all this twice. Spiritwind?”

  “Sorry, what? I was getting in to that guy's singing.” Spiritwind pointed to the busker the parent and child had morphed in to. He sang loudly and beyond tune. His only attempt at an instrument was the guitar he banged rather than strummed. “I know he sounds terrible but if you listen in the right way it actually sounds alright.” The bemused looks suggested it wasn’t up for debate.

  “Fate’s about to explain what a Conversation Maker is.”

  “A Conversation Maker? What are they?” Spiritwind continued the circle of confusion.

  “One of those things across the road that keeps changing.” Brick perpetuated, to Fate’s bewilderment.

  “I’ve been wondering about that, very curious even by today’s curious standard.” Fate coughed in an attempt to interject. He felt the discussion could go on indefinitely.

  “That sounds like a nasty cough, Fate. Are you feeling okay?” Brick turned doctor.

  “I was trying to interrupt subtly.”

  “Don’t bother with subtlety just jump straight in to the chatter.”

  Fate took the advice and dove in. “As I was saying about Conversation Makers…..”

  “….That’s the idea. Trick now is not to let us back in. Keep talking or we’ll….”

  “The art of conversation….” Brick winked approval at Fate’s verbal manoeuvre. “…is incredibly complex and takes years to master. However the majority of humans, when in the presence of another of their species, feel the urge to speak almost constantly. No mind can generate the substance needed to fill such vast amounts of time and so Conversation Makers were created.” A flutter of the hand pointed across the road to demonstrate the sentence. “These beings wander amongst you creating interesting and often bizarre situations for you to observe. The passing on of such sights fills many a silent gap in your daily lives. With the growing methods of communication and footage of their antics spreading around the world, they are now globally observed.”

  “Are they one of you then?” Brick moved on to the specifics. Fut took over the role of teacher.

  “As far as we and these dudes go we exist on a whole other plain. We can’t speak a word to or join in with anything they say.”

  “They, thinks they’re the Earth’s original solution to the job he now does, but you never know how seriously to take anything he says.” Fate tried to add clarity.

  Brick and Spiritwind took a moment for the meaning of the words to sink in. Spiritwind had an instant question. “If they’re Conversation Makers that can’t make direct conversation shouldn’t Irony know something about them?”

  “The logic be as watertight as a duck’s swimming trunks, but Irony’s grasp of her own concept isn’t. She don’t know what be her concern.” Fut summed up the situation with a duck analogy nobody had seen coming.

  “Maybe somebody should explain it to her.” Brick offered a solution. Fut sucked in the air around his face. It suggested it would be a bad idea.

  “They’re going to hit each other.” Spiritwind brought everyone’s attention back to the Conversation Makers. They were currently two men embroiled in a heated discussion. The four stood and watched as the two drew closer and closer together, passing insults all the while. It didn’t take long before one pushed the other backwards. The retaliatory push came instantly and with more power, sending one man stumbling towards the ground but never quite reaching it. Seeing a hand sized stone, the falling man grabbed it and spun, hurling it at his opponent before running away. The intended target ducked and considered whether or not to give chase. As he pondered, the stone continued through the air and into a tree. Only a small yelp materialised from the other side.

  As each member of the heroic foursome wondered if the others had heard the foliage yelp in pain, a larger question appeared with a thump. Brick felt no embarrassment in voicing this one. “Did a stereotypical 1950’s alien just fall from that tree?”


  “Judging by the stereotypical 1950’s alien on the floor beneath it, I’d say yes.” Spiritwind popped a bon-bon in his mouth to accentuate his nonchalance.

  “I told you things have a habit of working themselves out with a little belief.” Fate felt justified in his smug grin. “Shall we?”

  Fate led the group to their bounty. Things were running exactly to plan. Unfortunately nobody knew what the plan consisted of.

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