T is for Time

by Paul Vayro

  Chapter Twenty Four

  “…..as the customer it’s my right not to want salad.” Brick asserted his rights to Spiritwind, Irony, and They. Irony had been at a loose end after Fate and Karma began a relationship based chat. She wished she’d chosen a quiet corner instead. “The looks I get. If there wasn’t a counter between us I believe I would have been mauled by many a….a food…….server upper.”

  “Why don’t you just eat it? It doesn’t even taste of anything.” Irony released her frustration in the form of criticism.

  “How is that an argument? Eat it because it doesn’t taste of anything. Would you buy a perfume that doesn’t smell of anything?” Irony’s expression offered nothing but defeat. “And it still costs the same without salad. If you want extra they stick it on the bill but when you ask to take something off suddenly the rules they impose disappear in a puff of profit based morality…..”

  Coincidence walked back towards the salad conversation. He’d left to speak to Fate but feared interrupting the telling off his brother was receiving from Karma. As he passed Zarg the little alien attracted his attention.

  “You.” Zarg had worked out exactly who was who but didn’t feel anyone had earned the right to have their name used yet.

  “Me?” Coincidence paused.

  “Well clearly you. This is too tight. Any chance you could loosen it a little?” Zarg pulled his best sympathetic face.

  “It’s supposed to be tight. If it was loose it wouldn’t hold you in place.” Coincidence made a highly valid point.

  “This is a whole different level of tight though. Come on.”

  “It can’t be that tight or you wouldn’t be able to talk so freely.” Coincidence approached the query logically.

  “That is true, I can speak, but have you noticed that everything I say is a complaint about how tight this belt is?” Zarg parried logic with logic.

  “I’ve noticed that most things you say are complaints of one kind or another.” Coincidence prepared to walk away. Zarg tried a different approach.

  “You know my people hold the notion of coincidence very highly. Some would say it sits at the very core of our society’s belief structure. Were our takeover to be successful, whoever secured the role of coincidence would be something of a God.” The raise of Zarg’s eyebrow suggested all the mischief his words held. “I could speak to a few people in the right places were my belt to become loose.” The wink oozed nonchalance with a hint of dastardly intent. Coincidence paused for a moment, looking to the ceiling in fake consideration.

  “But…..if I help these guys conquer you I can carry on with my enjoyable life without offending everyone I hold dear, and without the prospect of Karma hunting me for the rest of my life. Cheers though.” Coincidence strolled back towards the group.

  By the time he arrived Irony had sidled off to a corner to stare at her shoes, Fut remained happy staring out to the horizon, Fate and Karma continued their talk, and Spiritwind entertained himself studying a drop of water frozen mid fall. Brick and They continued to chat, although the snippet Coincidence heard was enough to convince him not to hang around.

  “Belief is the key. If you believe it then the person you tell will pick up on that.” They had found a willing student to mentor in the way of potential truths.

  “Belief. Got it.”

  “So how does gravity work again?” They, teed Brick up.

  “Gravity. Well it’s funny you should ask that. Gravity is created by….” They stopped Brick before fully into his stride.

  “Try to make it more conversational rather than like a scripted idea, as though it means everything yet at the same time nothing.” They began liking the idea of an apprentice to mould.

  “Right, conversational, means nothing, could be everything.” Brick composed himself once more. “That gravity isn’t what you think, none of this mass business. It’s all about straws and a race unbeknown to the rest of the world that live at the Earth’s core. Ninety percent lungs and ten percent mouth, these beings live in communities of thousands and spend their days sucking on unfeasibly thin straws to hold everything on the planet's surface.”

  “Really, but how when the Earth is so hot at its core?” They played along with maximum encouragement and minimum patronisation.

  “The heat is a myth made up to keep anybody from discovering the truth. Have you ever been in a cave? Damp and cold. How? If it’s closer to the core than the surface?.....”

  “That’s a good point actually. Tell me more about this.” They was sucked in.

  “That’s all I’ve got so far.” Brick smiled at the praise.

  “When you think about it that makes far more sense than things being attracted to each other because they’re big.” They stroked his chin, wishing he had a beard to twiddle with. Spiritwind approached the pair. A subtle nod from They suggested Brick should try out his theory on his friend, a friend who had overheard the whole conversation.

  “Spiritwind. How goes it? Would you like to hear how gravity really works?” Brick winked towards They as he prepared to unleash his idea.

  “I know how gravity works.” Spiritwind popped another peanut in his mouth. He believed the snack gave an air of casual confidence.

  “You may think you do but would you like to hear how it really works?” Brick shook slightly with eagerness.

  “I know how it really works: lung based men at the centre of the Earth sucking on straws.”

  “No. Ha ha. Oh hold on. Yes. No. How?” Brick argued internally as Spiritwind sought to move the mission along.

  “Should we get on with interrogating the captive?” Spiritwind asked anyone who would listen. They stepped forward in place of anyone.

  “If you feel the words are in alignment then you should.”

  “Are you being vague in the hope we’ll presume great wisdom, because you don’t look old enough to get away with that.” Spiritwind added a bounce of his head to the delivery of each peanut.

  “Wisdom is the intelligence of mystery. A mirage that only the observer interprets.” They had the final word on the matter as Brick’s confusion queried Spiritwind.

  “Where did you hear about the lung people?”

  “It’s common knowledge. Anyway should we start questioning or not?” Spiritwind repeated his request. Everybody was too busy to listen.

  Fate and Karma had ended their chat, leaving Irony free to return to her favoured conversation partner for all the latest gossip. Coincidence saw his opportunity to speak to Fate, although he’d forgotten what he wanted to say. Instead the brothers discussed their continuing confusion when faced with the opposite sex. Fut hadn’t moved for several minutes as he recharged his harmonious soul. Only They continued to acknowledge Spiritwind’s question.

  “I can only repeat, if you feel the words are in correct alignment then let them flow forth.”

  “Are you saying if I know what to say, say it; only in a really fancy way?”

  “Since when were stories of lung people common knowledge?” Brick hadn’t been as confused for some time, fortunately it was a state he enjoyed.

  “I speak of the true nature of words.” They continued to be vague in the hope he could explain one of his greatest notions.

  “It’s been known for ages.” Spiritwind continued to converse with both at once. He turned back to They. “Go on then. Tell us about the true nature of words.” Spiritwind hoped the explanation would take Brick’s mind off gravity and allow him to return to one conversation at a time.

  “The words you speak are their own entities, vying to be spoken to fulfil their purpose. Floating through the air they seek hosts to offer them the ultimate accolade of being said. Within this very area thousands upon thousands of words will have convened in the hope of latching on to the right conversations in order to be heard. Have you never considered uttering a word only to hear somebody else say that exact thing moments after you deemed it not worthy?” They was in full flow. The nods that returned confirmed interes
t in the idea. “A word will try every host in the room before giving in. Freudian slips are merely aggressive words seeing a chance to be said and barging in where they are not relevant. With such a conversation as this the word, ‘word’ will have been alerted. Huge numbers will be heading this way sniffing a chance to be uttered.” They’s grin grew with each passing sentence.

  “Then I refuse to give it the satisfaction.” Brick forgot about the lung people and decided to be stubborn about words instead.

  “You may decide but their power is strong. The pressure to say word will build to levels only nature can equal. You will erupt.” They tried to look menacingly wise. His wandering eyes made the expression unachievable.

  “My strength is immeasurable against such challenges. Right now the wo…, that collection of letters is the furthest w.., noise based communication symbol from my mind.” Brick felt a bead of sweat forming on his brow.

  “So where do new words come from? Are they born?” Spiritwind pandered to They’s tale with genuine interest.

  “All the words that exist are already present. Those that have attached themselves to objects and the like are merely the successful. Many others have to be satisfied as mispronunciations of better known words or reside as slang. Usually the youth are an easy target for such tactics. All words however are aiming for their ultimate dream, a place in the dictionary.” They, stood as proud as a newly elected President speaking to his people for the first time.

  “That must be where we got montonomon from.” Spiritwind looked at Brick. He refused to answer in fear of what he’d utter. His mouth sat pursed, ready to speak, however his facial muscles refused to comply; trapping the words behind a red face and a look of determined panic. Spiritwind continued to explain to They. “We came up with ‘the montonomon moment’: the point between the penultimate moment and the event occurring. Maybe one day we’ll see it in the dictionary.” Spiritwind beamed as proud as an expectant parent in a maternity ward.

  “Maybe.” They concurred.

  “Word, word, word, word, word, word, word. Happy now.” Brick could hold on no longer and blurted out the only thing on his mind.

  “It is not me that gains joy but the words around us that have been set free.” They motioned to the air.

  “Well I never. Should we go and question the alien then?” Spiritwind put the idea to one side for consideration later. For now he wished to carry on with the adventure. He was starting to enjoy himself.

  As nobody had responded to verbal encouragement, Spiritwind started walking towards Zarg, offering hand gestures and twitches to the rest of the concepts in order to gain their attention and signal his intentions. As they interpreted the signals the focus moved towards a little green alien strapped to a chair. He was the only available source of answers, but did his captors know the questions that would release them?

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