T is for Time

by Paul Vayro

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  “Do we not need a fanfare?” Brick wished to add drama to the moment. The team were about to reveal what was inside the discarded crate.

  “Do you have a fanfare?” Spiritwind countered with practicality.

  “Or dancing elephants?” Brick ignored practicality and continued with idiotic suggestion.

  “Do you have danci….”

  “Should we just open the crate?” Coincidence could see where the conversation was heading and didn’t wish to spend twenty minutes going in circles.

  “Does anyone have the key? Surely only a key of magnificent beauty would open such a vessel.” Brick tried again to introduce a sense of importance to the proceedings.

  “It doesn’t need one. I think you just move the lid to one side.” Spiritwind had been poking the crate and revealed his findings. Brick looked to the sky in desperation at his visions of cinematic wonder being continually thwarted.

  “Am I the only one aware that we’re on a mission to save the Earth? This could be a crucial turning point in the adventure and you just want to move the lid to one side. Where are the close ups, the shared glances of apprehension, the music slowly building to a reveal?”

  “There you go. It unclips here. Someone give us a hand to budge it.” Everyone ignored Brick as Spiritwind and Coincidence wrestled with the lid. Brick folded his arms in disgust. They let the whole scene wash across his eyes. The casket was the size of two washing machines strapped side by side and made entirely from dark wood. The craftsmanship was impeccable. Sliding the lid to the side an odour bubbled into the air, catching everyone’s nostrils. It was clearly coffee. Each savoured the aroma, except Brick, whose sense of smell only worked in shifts.

  The group peered down on two equally sized compartments, both full. One side had been established as coffee, the other, a mixture of leaves and bags, was easily recognisable as tea. Brick had no time for either. Hot drinks made him thirsty meaning he always needed a cold one immediately after, thus returning his body to the tepid temperature he’d started with. It felt like a waste of time and effort to go through such a charade only to end up back where he started and so he declined any offers of hot beverages, much to the disbelief and questioning of anyone offering him such. It seemed not drinking tea or coffee was a social crime, the penalty funny looks and suspicion.

  “Why have aliens stopped time to collect all the tea and coffee?” Brick had asked the very question whose answer held the key to the Jefferian’s intent. “Why don’t they steal all the fast cars and women?” He followed it up with a question that didn’t deserve an answer. “I suppose they’d need far bigger boxes.” Brick answered it anyway.

  “I think I know why.” Spiritwind peered cheekily over a chicken and bacon baguette.

  “How do you know why?” Brick was instantly offended. The answer to the question would define exactly how offended.

  “I’ve been talking to They. I can see how it all fits together.”

  “Well that isn’t fair. Maybe I could have worked it out given the same information.” Brick felt wronged.

  “Why doesn’t They tell you the same information and we’ll see if you can work it out?” Spiritwind proposed a deal.

  “Maybe I will.” Brick pulled They to one side as the group began the stroll back to the building site. After five minutes explanation Brick contemplated everything, then posed his first question.

  “So your names aren’t really They and Coincidence?” Brick had gone straight to the heart of the issue.

  “Well no they’re just job titles, but it makes it easier to use them as our names when working, which is practically all the time; saves remembering who does what too.” They had been prepared for any question, although he hadn’t expected that one. “My real name is Weedo Denhar.” He pre-empted the follow up.

  “And I am Pelpham Flansham.” Coincidence similarly obliged.

  “How did you end up as They?” Brick completely forgot about the tea and coffee and ploughed on with his own avenue of investigation.

  “I originally applied to be humour but was told my jokes went on too long, and didn’t have a punch-line. They were considered more anecdotal ramblings and thought to fit the role of rumour spreader better.” Brick nodded in agreement before turning to Coincidence. Coincidence again obliged.

  “I was on my way to a job interview as a table tester when I saw Fate in the Earth franchise office and popped over to say hello. I opened the door just as they asked him if he knew anyone who would be suitable as Coincidence. Apparently my timing was as good as an application.”

  “Did you get the job as a table tester?” Brick again focused on the most irrelevant part of the answer.

  “I didn’t go. Being Coincidence is far better than table testing.”

  “What does a table tester do?” Spiritwind popped a loose chunk of bacon into his mouth.

  “Tests tables.” The faces clearly needed further details. “There’s a world of problems associated with table design. The legs can get in the way of certain seating positions, draws that stick out at funny angles, dodgy edges that don’t allow the elbows to lean comfortably. Things you wouldn’t believe.”

  “Tables need ropes on pulleys underneath that you can hook your legs on to. Take the weight off them.” Brick offered his insights in to table improvement.

  “I see you’ve been let in on the secret to the universe.” They offered Brick a knowing look. Brick didn’t know what to do with it causing They to elaborate further. “Mirrors and pulleys are the key to everything.”

  “That’s a bold statement.” Brick was completely lost.

  “Its boldness doesn’t detract from its truth. Mark my words. Practically every mystery in the universe can be explained by mirrors, pulleys, or both in combination.” A face had never looked so serious about such a preposterous statement.

  “Have you got an answer as to what’s going on yet?” Spiritwind aimed his voice directly at Brick. The long man was glad for a distraction from absolute confusion.

  “I need some time. It’s very complex. It’ll take me at least until we get back to the building site.”

  “We’re at the building site.” Spiritwind pointed smugly, with a fajita.

  “How’s that happened? We walked for ages to get to that hill. How’s it so quick coming back?” Brick protested.

  “The return journey is never as long as the outwards, especially when walking; something to do with condensed space upon approach.” They rifled off a reply without thought.

  “Well give me until the top of the stairs.” Brick negotiated further thinking time.

  “Gladly; I’m intrigued to hear what you have.” Spiritwind knew Brick had nothing.

  “So am I.” Brick spoke beneath his breath as the gate swung open to let them in to the building site. His brain worked best under pressure; he just hoped it was switched on.

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