Figuring the best way to engender calm was to exude it, Sara casually let him in on her plans. “Actually, I’m going to carry Champ in my arms tonight. That way, when he starts meeting a lot of different people, he’ll still feel safe. And he won’t get tangled up around our feet since he’s not that great on a leash yet.” Although he would get there.
Matt nodded with what appeared to be relief. “What about this little fella?” he asked.
Sara eased off her son’s terry-cloth onesie, changed his diaper, then slid on a blue-and-white playsuit. “I’ll adjust the BabyBjörn and you can carry him in that, or you can push him in the stroller. He’ll probably be happy either way.”
Matt considered. “Might be better to put him in the Björn, so he’ll be high enough to really see what’s going on.”
Sara was delighted Matt had no problem being close to her son. She went to get the canvas carrier, and fifteen minutes later, they were on their way. Matt drove his pickup truck. She drove her SUV, with Charley in his infant seat and Champ safely ensconced in his carrier.
From the looks of the crowded parking lot, the festival was already in full swing when they arrived. Sara put her son in the BabyBjörn and then helped Matt ease it over his shoulders. Charley gurgled with excitement and leaned back against Matt’s broad chest. The sight of the two cuddled up together so contentedly was enough to make her swoon. As well as wish that Charley had a daddy like Matt in his life, all over again...
Satisfied all was well, Sara smiled contentedly. She snapped a leash on Champ’s collar and led him to the grass. She gave him the appropriate command and the little pup promptly relieved himself, while Matt stood a short distance away.
“Good boy, Champ!” she praised him warmly, since one of the things she was teaching him was to go potty on demand. “Good boy!” She scooped him up and together, she and Matt went into the building where the festival was being held. As expected, Charley got his share of affectionate greetings. Sara was mobbed with people wanting to pet Champ, too.
What Sara didn’t expect was to run into Matt’s sister, Lulu. The dark-haired honeybee rancher was older than Matt by two years, and to twenty-eight-year old Matt’s continued aggravation, had been known to be both bossy and protective of all five of her brothers. As well as stubbornly resistant to their advice.
“Hey!” Lulu grinned as she came forward to give them all a hug. Hands on her hips, she stood back to look at Matt. “I knew you were donating funds to recruit new volunteers.”
Sara had told Lulu and his mom as much, in order to ease the pressure on Matt.
Lulu’s McCabe’s blue eyes sparkled. “But I didn’t know that she’d talked you into helping out with the puppy raising, too!”
Matt’s expression became impatient.
“He’s just helping me out with Charley while I socialize Champ,” Sara explained.
She realized, too late, she should have added that little tidbit to her email to both women. She hadn’t because she had figured it would mean more if they’d heard about that part of the bargain from Matt.
“Even more interesting,” Lulu murmured, waggling her brows.
Matt gave his sister a quelling look. “I don’t see how,” he retorted.
“Well, for months now you’ve refused to go out with anyone I’ve tried to fix you up with!”
Lulu had been trying to fix Matt up?
If so, then why didn’t she ask me? Sara wondered, a little jealously, given the fact they were both single, the same age and had known each other before. Then she immediately pushed the ridiculous notion away. She was a widow with a new baby who had also made it clear to everyone around her that she didn’t want a love life...
Exuding sisterly exasperation, Lulu continued, “Nor would you deign to ask anyone out on your own! And yet here you are...with Sara and her crew...on what certainly looks like a social outing...”
Once again, Sara lifted a staying palm and stepped in to clarify. “Only in the sense that the festival is a community event. And we are all members of the Laramie family.”
Lulu looked at Matt, wordlessly beseeching him to verify that was indeed the case.
Instead, to Sara’s consternation, the big jerk merely shrugged and kept a poker face. Mulishly refusing to comment either way.
Determined to set the record straight, Sara continued firmly, “If we want Champ to get used to all sorts of crowds and venues, we have to bring him to all sorts of gatherings. Some big, like this. Some medium-sized. Some small and intimate.”
“Uh-huh,” Lulu said.
Sara flushed. “I know what you’re getting at, Lulu, but this is not a date!”
Lulu grinned. Looked from Sara to Matt and back again. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
Heat continued flooding Sara’s face as she recalled, without wanting to, the kisses she and Matt had shared on his ranch. “We’re just friends,” she repeated.
“Mmm-hmm.” Lulu beamed with excitement. She patted both their arms before she moved off. “Let’s see if you two stay that way...”
* * *
“You know, you could have helped me out with your sister tonight,” Sara said later, when they got back to her ranch and put an exhausted Champ and Charley to bed.
Matt folded his arms across his chest. “You seemed to be doing okay.”
“She thinks we’re dating!”
The corners of his eyes crinkled. “So?”
“So, we’re not!” Sara shot back heatedly.
Mischief glimmered in his gaze. “Okay.”
In deference to the sleeping little ones, she kept her voice low and tranquil. “What do you mean, ‘okay’?”
He looked her in the eye. “Okay,” he replied genially, giving in, “we’re not dating.”
“But...?” she prodded, sensing there was a lot more going on in that handsome head of his. Emotions she needed to know.
He looked down at her patiently. “It occurred to me that if I help you with Charley every day for the next month or so while you socialize Champ, people are going to see us together. A lot.”
As always, his ultramasculine presence made her feel intensely aware of him. Her pulse raced. “Which is why we should make it clear to everyone we’re just friends.”
Something flickered in his expression, then disappeared. “We can do that.”
“But...”
Matt rubbed his hand over his jaw. “People are going to think what they want to think anyway. So why not stay mum and let them jump to whatever conclusion they’re going to jump to anyway.”
She shivered under his continued scrutiny. “I don’t want to pretend that I have feelings for you that I don’t have.”
He moved toward her, throwing her off her guard once again. “You have to have feelings for someone to go out on a date with him?”
“At least a basic attraction.”
The wicked gleam in his eyes said if he thought she would allow it, he would kiss her again.
The trouble was, she knew she would.
“I think we already established we have that,” he deadpanned.
She tingled all over, recalling his embrace. Lower still, she felt a melting sensation. Sara swallowed and moved toward the kitchen, picking up a few burping cloths and bibs that needed washing. Her back to him, she took them into the utility room and dropped them into the hamper that held Charley’s baby laundry. She turned around to face him again. “I told you those kisses weren’t going to happen again.”
He moved to let her exit. “I’m not going to lay odds one way or another.”
Being alone with him always seemed like a dangerous proposition to her way-too-vulnerable heart. Never more so than now.
Feeling a little overheated, Sara removed her cardigan and draped it over the back of a breakfast room chair. “But you think I am going to kiss you.
Eventually.”
His smile widened. “Definitely a possibility.”
She lounged against the counter and searched for a way to keep them in the just-friends zone. “Look, Matt, I’m not going to lead you or anyone else on. I don’t want to get married again.”
He shrugged and ambled closer, his eyes never leaving hers. “Great, ’cause I don’t want to get married, either.”
There was no doubt about it. Matt McCabe had to be the most infuriating man ever! Ignoring the skittering of her heart, she tipped her head up, refusing to get sucked in by the blatant sexiness of his gaze. Feeling parched, she went to the fridge and took out a big bottle of sparkling water. “Then what do you want?” she asked.
He watched as she filled two glasses with ice and quartered a lime, already seeming to be mentally making love to her.
“Besides a warm, willing woman to make love with...who doesn’t expect any more from me than I want to give?”
Her knees suddenly weakened treacherously, for no reason she could figure. Trying not to fantasize what that would be like, she cleared her throat and prodded, “Besides that.”
“Well, then, it’d have to be, for my mother and my sister to stop haranguing me.”
Glad to have something else to focus on, Sara worked in the lime wedges and filled their glasses with sparkling water. “Are they badgering you about something else besides the therapy-puppy program?”
Matt nodded tersely. “My mother wants me to participate in the West Texas Warriors Association programs for ex-soldiers returning to civilian life.”
So I’m not the only one who senses you’re struggling, Sara thought, feeling simultaneously comforted and worried. She handed him a glass and, together, they went into her living room to sit down.
Always ready and willing to lend an empathetic ear, Sara took the sofa. “Why does she want that?”
Matt sat in a big upholstered chair, kitty-corner from her. A faraway look came into his gray-blue eyes as he took a long, thirsty drink. Then let out a ragged breath. “She thinks the only people who will ever be able to truly understand what I saw and experienced while overseas are other military personnel.”
As much as Sara tried, she couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d been through. Or more important, how he felt now. “Your mom might have a point.”
He rested his glass on one muscular thigh. “Did Anthony go to WTWA?”
“No,” Sara admitted with heartfelt emotion. “And I wish he had.”
“Why?”
Regret tightened her throat. “Because there were times when he was just so remote from me. Kind of shut down and moody, and I didn’t know how to deal with that.”
Matt’s eyes darkened. He took another sip. “You could have just let him be.”
Sara nodded. “That’s what I ultimately did do.”
Matt studied her. “And now you regret it.”
“Yes.” Sara’s voice caught, and the sorrow inside her welled. “Because now he’s gone,” she confessed, as her vision blurred with tears, “and I’ll never know what he was going through, or not going through.” Unable to sit still a second longer, she set her glass aside and rose. Moving to the desk, she took a tissue from the box and dabbed her eyes. “Or what I might have done differently to help him reconnect with me.”
Suddenly, Matt was behind her. Hands cupping her shoulders gently, he turned her to face him. Threading a hand through her hair, he cupped her cheek and lifted her face to his. “That was his choice, Sara,” he said gruffly.
Was it? she wondered, even as she sank into Matt’s warm, comforting touch.
The next thing she knew, Matt’s other arm was around her waist, bringing her closer still. “I think letting him have his space was a good thing,” he said.
As she met Matt’s gaze, she could see he really felt she had nothing to regret. Relief flowed through her. Followed by a surprising willingness to let him comfort her.
Maybe she hadn’t really done anything wrong.
Or been remiss...
Maybe her late husband’s death was part of a larger destiny...one neither she nor Anthony had any control over. As she looked up into Matt’s face, she noted he seemed to think so.
Aware maybe it was time for her to move on, just a little, she let herself drift toward him a little more.
His other hand slid up, into her hair, and cupped her face as he tenderly murmured her name. Desire sifted through her. And then all was lost as his head lowered, her eyes shut and he fit his lips over hers.
If the first time he had kissed her had brought her back to life...the second time opened up her heart. Simultaneously erasing her need to grieve and heal in private...and keep any future romance from her life.
His kiss was slow. Exploratory. As ever so tenderly, he brought her all the way out of the past, and into the present.
And still he kissed her, inundating her with the heat of him, his masculine strength and tenderness. His tongue tangled with hers, giving as well as taking, persuading, seducing. Slowly, purposely demanding everything she had to give.
Until she kissed him back, hotly, ardently. Her arms were wreathed about his neck, her breasts pressed against his chest and there was nothing but need and more need.
And still the clinch continued, his caresses filling her with everything she had ever wanted and required. Lower still, she felt the depth of his passion. Shivers swept through her. She melted against him, her insides fluttering even as she struggled to keep her feelings in check. He was so hard and strong. The feel of his body pressed up against her sent a maelstrom of ardor pulsing through her, and an even stronger wish to connect with him, heart and soul, woman to man.
But it was too soon for them to search out such intimacy.
They both knew that.
With a sigh of regret, she tore her lips from his.
“We’re just supposed to be friends, remember?” she reminded shakily.
“I know.” He rested his forehead against hers and released a ragged sigh, revealing himself to be every bit as ripe for a reckless red-hot love affair as she was. He straightened reluctantly. “I’m not going to apologize.” Mischief gleamed in his eyes. “But I know what our bargain was...”
It simply wasn’t going to deter him in the least.
Which was a problem, Sara thought, as another wave of longing sifted through her. Given how much angst they both still had to grapple with in their personal lives.
With effort, Sara gathered her defenses and looked deep into Matt’s eyes. She couldn’t help her late husband, true. But she might still be able to help Matt reach out, the way Anthony hadn’t. Even if he resented her interference...
Still in the circle of his arms, her hands lightly splayed across his chest, she drew a bolstering breath and firmly and calmly steered the conversation back to what they had been discussing before their embrace. “Is that why you don’t want to be involved with the WTWA? Because you’re afraid if you do participate in any of their programs, they won’t give you your space?”
Expression gruff and forbidding, he let her go, stepped back a pace and told her, “I’m not afraid, darlin’. I just don’t have time to join anything until I get the Silver Creek pastures fenced and ready for grazing, since Cullen wants to be able to use them by next fall at the very latest.”
Sara knew a fake excuse when she heard one. Matt could call on his four brothers, and his father and sister, and endless McCabe cousins, and get all that done in no time. “You’re making the time to help me,” she pointed out, refusing to back down with him, the way she had with Anthony.
“Yep.” His eyes glittered with something akin to anger. “And look what that’s reaped. Endless questions from you. Matchmaking from Lulu.”
She knew he was signaling her to back off, but her heart was telling her to behave differently.
Defiantly,
she closed the distance between them. Took his big hand in hers. “I just want you to be happy, Matt.” She squeezed his fingers firmly. “After all you’ve given to our country,” she told him, “you deserve it. All our returning warriors do.”
He looked down at their joined hands for a long moment, his expression inscrutable. “You mean that?”
His hand felt so warm and strong beneath hers. She looked into his eyes. “Yes,” she said huskily, “I do.”
His gaze roved her face, lingered on her lips, then returned to her eyes.
“You know what will make me happy?” he finally said.
Another kiss, she thought hopefully, suddenly having second thoughts about the deal they’d made. And becoming aware of the fact that she wouldn’t mind someone warm and willing to make love with, too, someone who wouldn’t ask her for things she couldn’t give, not ever again.
And that would be Matt.
“What?” she returned softly, thinking this was it, the moment he would make his move on her, again. And this time, foolish or not, she would not stop him.
“What do you want from me, Matt?” she asked softly, aware she would do whatever she could to help him come back to life, in the same way she now was.
His mouth took on a harsh, formidable line.
“No more questions.”
Chapter Five
Sara realized they needed to take a step back from each other so, for the next week, she arranged to meet Matt at their destinations. It was a little harder, getting both the puppy and her son in the car simultaneously without his help, but it made Champ’s training a lot less intimate.
There was little time for them to say much at all to each other as they took the little puppy for thirty-minute visits to the preschool, the pet store, the local farmer’s market, an office building that had elevators, and the ladies’ auxiliary group at the community chapel.
Matt just strapped on the BabyBjörn and amused Charley while Sara took charge of Champ and his leash.
When they were done, she thanked him, he nodded his acknowledgment, and they went their separate ways.
McCabe's Baby Bargain Page 5