Hope & Despair- Full Circle

by Alan Wild

  Not thinking about modesty, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel. He quickly dried off and dressed in his loose boxers. He padded over and looked out to the hall to see where Noah had disappeared. Walking down the hall, he noticed that the bathroom door had a tiny crack. When the curious man got closer, he heard heavy breathing. Oliver thought that he needed to bust in and save Noah from a panic attack. He didn’t have to break down the door because he recognized the ragged breathing and moans of pleasure. Being in the same area with Noah, in the state of arousal, was intoxicating. As much as he wanted to stand there and listen in like a perv, he needed to get dressed and start cooking for everyone at the meeting.

  Dressed and ready to go, he got the coffee brewing. He thanked Darian for keeping watch. “If you want to grab an hour or so of sleep, then you can take one of the guest bedrooms or just grab a shower if you want to unwind.” Oliver started to pull out the ingredients for the feast. He loved breakfast. It was his favorite meal of the day. He decided last night before he fell into a blissful sleep holding the most amazing man ever, that he wanted to make French toast as well as pancakes.

  Oliver walked into the pantry to grab all the ingredients. With both arms full when he came out, he found Noah standing in front of him with his beautiful face. With more excitement than anyone should have in the morning, he said, “Good morning, how did you sleep last night?”

  Noah smiled brightly. “It was the best night’s sleep that I have ever had. Thank you for last night. The date was amazing.” Blushing, he continued, “You are amazing.”

  Now, it was Oliver’s time to blush. “Thank you, Noah, I only cooked dinner.”

  “Well, you know Oliver, you have set the bar high for our next date. And I can’t cook as well as you do.”

  Oliver gave him his trademark smile, “Well sugar tits, the only thing I heard that matters is that there will be a second date.”

  Pulling the food out of the freezer and refrigerator, he told Noah to grab a chair and keep him company. He let him know that Darian was up in one of the guests bedrooms and had kept them safe for the night. Noah stood and walked close enough to him that he could feel his heat. He looked Oliver in the eye and asked If there was any way he could help him. “I normally cook alone, but a man like you could change my mind. Now, I’m going to have to ask you to stand back, or breakfast will never be ready in time,” Oliver said.

  Noah quickly leaned over and gave Oliver the quickest but sweetest kiss. He wanted to dive in and submerge himself into his existence. He realized that he had a dumb grin on his face, but Noah was turning more shades of red then he had seen in the last few days. Oliver realized that it must have taken him so much courage to do that.

  He regained his composure and said, “Thank you, that kiss was amazing. You will have to show me how you did it later after everyone leaves.”

  Noah grinned and said, “Deal. Now, how can I help?”

  Oliver got him set up peeling potatoes for the home fries.

  Oliver was frying the bacon while Noah was setting up the griddle for the French toast and pancakes. Noah did that cute little thing where he clears his throat when he is trying to find the courage to ask Oliver a question; he isn’t sure he should ask. He didn’t speak. So, as usual, Oliver did. “Noah, I want you to be able to ask me anything, for you, I am an open book so shoot, ask away.”

  Noah smiled again and asked him, “So, how did you learn to cook?” He chuckled, “After the departure from my job and my relationship, I traveled looking for a place to land and call home. I was aimlessly searching for some direction in life. I sat at a bar in the hotel that I was staying at just drowning my sorrows. The bartender asked, ‘what’s got, you so bent boy?’ I explained that I was fired from a job and lost my boyfriend, who was my boss all in the same day and now I just don’t know what I am going to do with my life. The bartender told me precisely what I needed to do. He said, “Son, your problem is that you are focusing on yourself too much. You are stuck in yesterday, and you can’t focus on tomorrow.” He asked me, “When was the last time you did something for someone else?” “I couldn’t answer because while I try to be kind and polite to people, I never helped anyone.”

  The bartender told me that my lack of response tells him that it has been a while. Oliver agreed. The bartender said, ‘I tell you what, how long are you in town?’ “I told him I had no timeframe.” He said, “Well, how bout you join me tomorrow morning.

  I take over the local diner, and we cook and serve breakfast for the retired community. Busses bring them in by the droves. The seniors are so grateful for what we do. They do not get out much, and many of their families have forgotten about them. We show them that we care, and it just makes their month.” “He convinced me to join in on the fun.

  I planned to be a server, but the cook couldn’t make it. The whole event was going to be canceled, so I stepped up. I worked in restaurants when I was in college. I loved to cook, so I jumped in and helped. That day gave me the perspective that I needed. It was a pleasure to serve seniors. They were all so appreciative. Many of them had health issues, and they did not get out much. This was their time to socialize with each other and to be treated like they matter.

  That got me thinking that I wanted to be a chef. I took as many cooking classes that were offered at the local community center. I found the nerve to ask the bartender if he could talk to the restaurant manager if he would be interested in having his chef give me cooking lessons. They agreed, and I began my cooking lessons that night for dinner. I thought that I wanted to open a restaurant, and I knew it would thrive. I learned everything the chef had to teach me, but after six months, I finished learning.

  I decided that It would not be the best thing for me to be a chef. I gained so much weight. I tasted everything that I made. I had to focus on losing weight. I had a friend that is a trainer here in Denver, so I came home to work with him. I went to college with him, and I knew he was good with what he does because he looked amazing. He whipped me into shape, and then one night, we went out for a beer. He told me that he wasn’t a trainer. He was working undercover for the FBI but he couldn’t tell me why. He had been on this case for two years, and his job was ending. It all clicked then because he was in the same classes as I was. I just thought that he gave up criminal justice. We became close, he was a great friend, and he convinced me to stay in Colorado. I met his partner, and we hit it off. They were going to get married. The gym where he was working undercover was tipped off by someone inside the FBI, and my friend was murdered. His partner found him in his apartment. They tried to make it look like a robbery gone wrong. He had secret surveillance cameras in his place. They caught the murderers and the person who ordered the hit. His partner couldn’t trust anyone on the team because she couldn’t figure out who tipped them off. Anyway, I hired her to be an investigator. Summer will be at the meeting this morning.”

  Okay, Noah, since I just talked your ear off, I have a critical question for you.” Noah, with his deer in the headlights, look, slowly said, “Okay.” With a smile, he asked, “How are your knife skills?” He could see Noah exhale the breath he was holding, anticipating a life or death question. Oliver just couldn’t help but laugh. “The bacon is cooked, and if you cut the potatoes, I will put them in the oven. Can you help me carry the chafing pans up from the basement?”

  “Noah smiled “I would love to cut up the potatoes where do you keep your supplies?”

  Oliver got him started with the chopping.

  He wanted to ask him about something he said last night. “So, Noah, you said last night that was your first date. What has kept you from dating? I mean, you are a handsome guy, you are funny, beautiful and kind. Noah, you are the total package. What’s the deal?”

  Noah blushed a little, and he said, “I’ve been asked out a few times. There was this guy once at the gym who followed me around and kept smiling at me. I made a fool out of myself because I was tired, and my nerves got the best of me.
The unknown is far more frightening for me, and I worked myself up. As I was almost to my car, he stopped me and asked if he could buy me a beer sometime. When I get nervous, I drink water because I get dry mouth. I drank too much, worked out hard. I turned away from him just in time to vomit all over the parking lot and on the side of my car. It was not pretty. I have tried a hook up once, but my nerves got the best of me”.

  Oliver tried to stifle his giggle. He decided to dive into the deep end of our conversation and ask, “Noah, what are you nervous about?” Noah said, “I am not normal; my body is disfigured, and it is hideous. My scars are all over my legs, chest, and other parts. It was difficult to muster up enough nerve to explore the casual sex option. Once, this guy came over for the hookup; he wanted me to take off my clothes. How dumb, right? How can you hook up without taking off your clothes?” It was more of a statement than a question. Needless to say, the guy left unsatisfied, and I remained fully clothed.”

  Oliver stopped what he was doing and walked over to Noah. He looked him in the eye and told him “Noah, there is absolutely nothing about you that is hideous. You are the most beautiful person I’ve seen, and somehow, I am lucky enough to get to know you.”

  Noah tried to break eye contact, but Oliver grabbed his face. “No! you are gorgeous in every way!” Noah said, “You haven’t seen my scars.” They got closer, and the heat from his body was clouding Oliver’s mind. His freshly showered body was putting off a heady, euphoric scent. Before he could think, he broke his own rule of waiting. He kissed Noah. At first, the kiss was sweet, and he let his lips linger. He refused to let go of his face, and when Noah opened his lips to take a sharp breath in, he took full advantage and slowly kissed him with his tongue slipping in and doing a slow sensual dance.

  Oliver pulled back and kissed his cheek. He whispered in his ear, “It would be my honor if you trusted me enough to show me everything that makes you, you. Everything about you is beautiful.” He sealed his sentiments with another kiss to his lips. After that kiss, he saw stars in the most dramatic way possible. This beautiful man in the kitchen was also a thief. He was stealing Oliver’s heart, and that was something he told himself he wouldn’t let happen again.

  With a little time left before everyone arrived, he asked, “Hey, Noah, do you mind giving me a hand? I need help carrying the chafing pans up from the basement.” While down in the storage, he caught Noah looking at his storage supply while his mouth flew open. All Noah said was, “Wow.” Oliver began to panic, “This was a mistake. Once Noah discovers that I am an obsessive freak, he is going to run as far and as fast away from me as he can,” he thought. He quickly handed Noah two boxes of pans while he grabbed the other two that held pans and serving utensils.

  Noah paused before he walked out of the storage area and said, “I am so impressed that you thought to keep your stock of supplies down here. This is just another reason why I feel so safe with you. You think differently than anyone I’ve ever met, and it shows what an amazing person you are.” Oliver tried to hide the tears that were building up but found it to be no use. Noah immediately began to apologize even though he didn’t know why. “There is nothing to apologize for; you just made my day. I’ve spent so much time and effort to change the way I think about my challenges. I have been called stupid, dumb, and slow. I always told myself that what other people think about me just doesn’t matter. But Noah, for the first time, to hear someone say that they are impressed by the way I think and that you feel safe around me, well, It sure felt amazing to hear you say that. For the first time, I realize that sometimes what people think about me does matter.”

  With the pans set up with the breakfast ready to go, all that was left to make was the French toast and the pancakes. Oliver asked Noah, “Do you want to make the french toast or pancakes?” Noah chose pancakes as Oliver began to mix the batter in a drinking pitcher. Noah looked at him like he had sprouted another head. He asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?” It is way too tricky to pour the batter from a mixing bowl on the griddle, so I mix it in the pitcher, and I can pour it one-handed.” Noah’s look of confusion turned to a look of wonder, and those butterflies were back in his stomach. It did not take long to finish breakfast with Noah helping, so they finished setting up. He looked around and admired the spread of breakfast goodness. Oliver asked Noah, “What do you think?”

  Noah must have been confused about what he was asking because he responded by saying, “I’m nervous and a little afraid to meet your friends. This is way out of my comfort zone. It is something that my therapist worked on with me. She tried to get me to make slow changes instead of big changes all at once. My first homework assignment was to go to the mall and just sit on a bench. I did enjoy watching people, but I still felt exposed. I felt like everyone would be able to look at me and see my secrets. I was making progress slowly, but this is a pretty big step for me.”

  Oliver hugged him and said that he would be there every second. “I understand, I do. I still have discomfort talking with people for the first time when we meet. I am okay at parties where I don’t know anyone, and I can do small talk, but I am nervous the whole time. I will be here with you. We can support each other. This is the first team meeting we are having. I know my team but speaking to them as a group will be a new experience for me.” He suggested that when they were feeling a little stressed, they would just hold hands. Noah nodded in agreement. The doorbell rang, and Oliver checked his phone to see who was at the door. He smiled at Noah and said, “Let’s do this.”

  Chapter 9

  Noah Blain

  “Okay, Noah, you can do this. You have held it together this long. Just don’t do anything stupid. Just stay calm. These people are not going to hurt you. They are Oliver’s friends. They are people he trusts, and I trust him. You just have to reach out to Oliver if you feel nervous. You need to hold it together because Oliver is nervous too. You need to support him during this meeting. Here we go!”, these were some of the thoughts wafting through Noah’s head at the moment.

  Sergeant Matthews and Detective Slone were the first to arrive, followed by Oliver’s team.

  Oliver spent some time introducing everyone. Oliver asked the team to get their plates and grab a seat. This group seemed to like each other, and they liked Oliver. Noah could see why. He is amazing. Everyone made a big deal over the breakfast spread. They loved the pancakes and French toast. Oliver proudly thanked everyone, and he said that he didn’t do it all by himself. He told them that Noah made the pancakes and the potatoes. In all honestly, he had just peeled the potatoes and cut them up. He had just poured the batter on the griddle and flipped them. Noah felt the heat rise up, and gradually his face was hot. He would have corrected Oliver, but before he could say anything, Oliver grabbed his hand. He told himself that from that point forward, he would focus on being here for Oliver.

  To his surprise, Oliver took their joined hands and placed them on the table. He began to speak, and everyone held on to every word he had to say. Oliver started by saying, “Thank you all for coming here this morning. I know that you are all busy. As for my team, I know that I asked you each to focus on building our client list, establish relationships, and build hype around the opening of our investigation agency. There has been a new development, and I want all of you to work on this case. We need to put everything we have into it. With that said, I already introduced you to Noah. Noah came home from Florida, and he found blood when he opened the door. I made the call to the police because I was with Noah after he made the discovery. Everything that happened was caught on video by my house surveillance security. I have that video feed available to anyone who needs it. I am sure that Ajay has explained the situation to you all, but I am telling you all this because I am personally involved. Noah is staying here with me. The person who murdered all five of the people across the street was following us. He caught up to us in the parking lot of the grocery store. He tossed a box to Noah and ran off before we could even think to identify him. I
called Ray, Sergeant Matthews, and Detective Slone. We discovered that the box contained a foot that was missing from the crime scene. The foot had a message on it. I will forward you each of the images of the evidence. The message was telling Noah that he is next on the murderers' list.

  Oliver looked at Noah and kissed his hand. He told Noah, “I am sorry for keeping information from you, but I was trying to process the details myself before I told you.” Oliver said, “The murderer has also named me as one of his targets.”

  Noah started to think to himself, “Wait, did I just hear that right? Was Oliver also a target? The thoughts had him spiraling. He began to take short, shallow breaths. Oliver leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and whispered that he was here that he had to take deep, cleansing breaths. He did what Oliver asked and what helped him was to focus on what was said. He had to remind himself that he was there for Oliver. He had done so much for him, and he can’t disappoint the man.

  Oliver was speaking, and others would ask questions as he went along. Oliver then asked Sergeant Matthews to provide as much information as he can to help us close this case.

  Ray said, “I can share some information, but I want to have Nate share the details that he has first.” Noah thought, “He is young, but to my surprise, and by the look on everyone else’s face, they were surprised as well, that he was professional and brilliant. Nate said, “I retrieved Noah’s laptop, and I was able to discover some information. It appears that the perp has been sending Noah death threats for over a year. The emails were sent to his spam folder, and I retrieved them. I will hand back the computer this afternoon, and you can review whatever you need, and I can tell you where to find the evidence, but I cannot give it to you. Nate waited for someone to push back, so when that didn’t happen, he continued.