by Sky McCoy
Maybe it was because he felt sorry for the boy, or maybe it was because he didn’t want to be alone in that large apartment for a month. Or maybe it was because he had been more fortunate than Jay, and he wanted to pay it forward.
As he agreed to this craziness, he wasn’t sure the guy was a killer and would kill him in his sleep. He just felt sorry for him. And he thought about all the lost youth that he had seen along the way with no place to go after their parents had put them out. They weren’t prepared for anything. And as he glanced over at the young man, Taylor’s only thought was if he wasn’t rich, this could have been him at that age, and but for the grace of God go I.
Chapter Twenty
THE WEEKS PASSED AND Payton had been living on the beach with his friend Elliot for over three weeks. When the towing company finally got around to getting Payton’s father’s Corolla off Ocean Beach Road, he soon discovered that his iPhone was gone.
Payton purchased a new phone, but hesitated to call anyone, especially Taylor. After repairing his father’s car, he had made arrangements for a company to pick it up at the garage and ship it back to his mother, then he sent her a letter and a year’s stipend telling her he was alright, and that he needed time to get his head together.
Payton refrained from talking to anyone, especially Taylor’s friends, especially Noah who knew all Taylor’s intimate secrets and loved to gossip unless it was about his philandering unfaithful acts when Jake was away.
During a moment of peace and clarity, Payton finally called the law firm and quit his job because he didn’t think he was capable of meeting his obligations just yet.
He had to get himself together first before he could do anything to help others. And he didn’t want to ruin his peaceful existence by learning that Taylor had filed for divorce just when he was seeing a therapist, in the nearby town, who appeared to be helping him where he thought he was making great progress.
The therapist listened to him and then she made some suggestions and one was for the both of them to see a marriage counselor if he decided to return to Taylor. But then Payton didn’t know if he could. And a new set of worries filled his headspace.
He and Elliot had stayed out of each other’s way and that suited Payton just fine. He took the bedroom upstairs and bath. They got along because both he and Elliot were neat freaks, and Elliot enjoyed cooking and would surprise Payton with an occasional seafood dinner. He specialized in broiled scallops in butter over rice pilaf. And his oyster stew is off the charts, Payton thought.
When Payton walked down the stairs into the large kitchen and den area, he said, “What is it today? As he raised his head and sniffed the pots trying to guess. I hope it’s oyster stew. I would suck your dick if...”
“No it’s not, but hold that thought. I know you, Payton, you’re just a tease. You’re too...what’s the word? Married,” Elliot said. “I’m cooking Boston clam chowder. I’m from Boston and my mother used to cook at this restaurant, and when she had a day off, she’d cook this.” Elliot held up a spoon for Payton to taste. He took the spoon and glanced up at Elliot.
“Oh, Elliot. That certainly is in the terrain of getting your cock sucked for a taste of that.”
“You should see what I do with a Lobster.”
Payton chuckled and waggled his eyebrows and offered a big smile to Elliot. “I hope you can eat it afterwards because Lobsters are expensive,” Payton said, dipping a spoon into the pot getting another mouthful.
“This is great. You should have been a cook.”
“I know. My mother taught me. But my father was against it. He said that she was making me a homo. But I knew very early that I was gay. I was never aroused sexually by a female the way I am for a male who I’m attracted to. How was it for you?”
Elliot turned to Payton after turning off the fire under the pot. “Believe it or not, I was a straight man before I met my husband.”
Elliot glanced over at Payton and raised one eyebrow.
“No way. Get the fuck out of here. I never would have thought, but then I never suspected it when I confided in you. I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Imagine how relieved I was when you finally told me that you were married and to a man.”
“You picked me up on the side of the road and gave me a ride when a few cars passed me by. I get it, it could be dangerous picking up strangers, but you took a chance on me and damn if I’m not grateful. When you confided in a stranger that you were gay, it was only right that I tell you if just to make you feel comfortable.”
“You know there was something about you, and I thought you were seriously hot.”
“That’s nice to know. But I’m a married man and hot doesn’t describe me anymore.” Payton choked on his words after they fell from his lips. A married man. Now that’s a joke. For all he knew he could be headed for divorce court this very minute and Taylor would have all the grounds in the world.
Abandoning him by walking out, and not telling him where he was, or if he was alive or dead.
“Yeah. I was straight alright. I never had a gay relationship in all my twenty-something years. Fell in love with a girl in high school who stood me up for my prom for another guy, and got engaged a couple of times to two women.
“And then along came Taylor. The most handsome sexy man I’ve ever met in my life, and my cock twitched and when he kissed me, I couldn’t get enough of him, and I fell into his bed that night and got married as fast as we could get the license.” Payton walked to the fridge and took out a cold beer. He needed it.
When Payton’s attention landed back to Elliot and not the thoughts in his head, or the view from the large window of the Pacific Ocean, he said, “Why did you travel across the US thousands of miles away from your family?”
“You make it sound so far. I can get there in hours if I had to. But my initial idea was to go to San Francisco, LA or Hawaii. I wanted to ride the surf and make a name for myself. I guess I’d been watching too many of those old movies. But I went to San Francisco and met someone, and he brought me here with him. He said I could stay here until I could get myself together, and decide what I wanted to do with life. That was three years ago.”
“Don’t feel bad. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I just quit my job and now I want to hang out on the beach until I find myself like you. Where is he now?” Payton asked.
“Who?”
“That special guy? The one who let you be all you can be.”
“Traveling on business. He’ll be back in the fall. But what do you say if we go to San Francisco, cruise the bars, have some drinks, and get in some dancing? We can celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?” Taylor asked.
“Celebrate my birthday. July twenty-fifth.”
It’s July soon. It was just June. Where did the time go?
“We’re having a party on the beach that Thursday, and then that Friday we can rent a hotel in San Francisco and go dancing or stay at one of my friends’ apartment. We both could use some fun. We’re the most handsome and boring gay men I’ve come across lately. Well I know you are because you have this thing that because you’re married you can’t enjoy yourself. It will do you good. What do you say, Payton?”
“I say fuck yeah. And then when we get back, I’ll call up my husband or ex and see if I’m still married and if not, I’ll beg him to let me suck his cock, anything to feel his body again.”
PAYTON WALKED AROUND the beach and watched as couples enjoyed the barbecue and birthday cake. He felt out of place and lonely because everyone including Elliot was laughing and talking and drinking. He never felt lonely with Taylor. Thinking back he had been engaged and dating a few women and he felt so alone living in San Francisco. But never once did he feel that way again since he’d met Taylor.
With those thoughts running through his head he began to feel like a fool. How could he throw away the most precious beautiful man who meant the world to him? Maybe because Taylor never played games with him. He would tell
him how much he loved him. And here he’d taken something precious and tossed it into the garbage.
Taylor must feel like a fool now to have trusted his heart with me, Payton thought.
One more day and then that’s it. Whatever happened, he was going after his man. He would probably have to work for his love this time, and he would. He would do anything to reverse what had happened.
Trudging through the sand heading for the beach house, Payton thought he had a better view of the party and ocean from the second floor, and he left everyone and climb the stairs to his room.
Indeed he had been the most boring man at the party. But he would remedy that by going out and having him a good time with Elliot tomorrow night, and then he would see if he was still married. He hoped he was and if he wasn’t, could he handle that, he wondered.
TAYLOR PARKED HIS RENTAL and headed for the club where Jay worked.
Once inside, he took a seat at the bar and waited for Jay to finish gyrating in his skimpy short shorts and teasing every man who looked his way. Tonight there appeared to be an over-abundance of men in their thirties and some older men who seemed straight, at least at home.
Looking at his watch, Taylor knew it was time. The bartender leaned forward and said, “One drink and then the bar closes.”
“Nothing for me, I’m driving.”
“That’s what they all say. But you mean it. I see you come in here every night to get Jay. You must be in love.”
“I’m in love with my husband, not with Jay. Jay’s just a friend.” Taylor didn’t know why he felt obligated to explain the relationship between him and Jay. Maybe because he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong impression because he never cared before what others thought, but for some unknown reason, he didn’t want the bartender to mistake caring for a young man as an act of love. However it was an act of love, but not the kind that he held in his heart for Taylor.
“I’m ready,” Jay said. “Thanks for picking me up every night. You don’t have to do that.”
“How were you going to get to the apartment without the police bothering you? And I wanted to prevent you from having to ask some stranger to take you there. You know it’s not safe for a boy like you.”
“What do you mean a boy like me?” They walked out the door and as they were exiting, a burly man in his forties or fifties with tattoos on every part of his body that anyone could see, grabbed Jay by the wrists.
“He’s with me, Taylor said as he took Jay’s wrist and placed his hand around his waist. As they walked in the direction of the parking garage, Taylor said, “You need to put on your coat. It’s not a good idea to be walking around with your ass showing, and all those hungry men looking for someone they can bottom for the night.”
“Don’t think I’m not grateful because I am. Before I just gave my body to anyone who would let me sleep with them for a night, or a day just to have a roof, and some food. I can’t afford the rent around here. I’ll have to move out of San Francisco because the rent is outrageous, and I can’t even pay the rent on someone’s couch.”
Taylor paid for the parking and they entered the car and pulled off into traffic. Taylor glanced over at Jay who looked like a lost puppy.
“Look, Jay. I’m going to ask a friend of mine if he can give you a job. It’ll give you a trade, but unless you go to someone’s school, you won’t make enough to pay this rent or any other rent.”
Jay turned and lowered his head and eyes. Taylor saw the emptiness in Jay’s face when he took his eyes off the road for a second.
“I’ll help you because I don’t want to see you sell your little dick around here and end up dead or worse.”
“My dick isn’t little,” Jay barked. “Sorry,” Jay said in a small voice.
“I’m sure it isn’t, but that’s not my point, and it was a figure of speech anyway. If I get you a job are you willing to keep it? The company I work for in New York will train you here and put you in one of their apartments as long as you work there, and then you can quit that job of dancing on a bar for tips.”
“I make good tips.”
“What do you call good tips? Can it pay for anything besides food? Then the tips aren’t good. You have to be able to take care of yourself and not depend on sleeping with men for a roof over your head. I’ll buy you clothes for your job, and give you an allowance, and I expect something for that.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want to have sex with me.”
“I don’t want to have sex with you for Christ’s sake, Jay. I just don’t want you to make a fool out of me. If you can work hard at my friend’s company and enrolled in college, community college, I don’t care, I’ll pay that too, if you get good grades. So no more of that sleeping around. And when I pick you up tomorrow, make that your last day.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“I’m not your daddy. I’m no one’s father.” And then the words dawned on him that he would never be a father. And he thought about Payton. It was Payton who had introduced the idea that they should adopt. And somehow he felt like he should be a father figure to Jay. That’s what he was trying to be, and he hoped Jay recognized it, and didn’t want to pursue another type of relationship with him because he had no room for lovers, or someone there to offer up there ass for one night.
A WEEK AGO HE’D WARN Jay about his behavior.
“You shouldn’t walk around this apartment dressed in those skimpy clothes. Don’t you have something else to change into?” Jay stopped and turned with his ice tea glass in hand. He flicked his hair to the side, and for the first time since Taylor had invited him to stay there, he had gotten a good look at his face. He was a pretty boy without all the fake long eyelashes and eyeliner and red lipstick.
“But I’m going out to get some sun. And this is all I have. I had to leave in a hurry from one place and I couldn’t take my stuff with me,” Jay said looking down at his attire of white shorts that looked like they were a strip of cloth. His small hard ass cheeks annoyed and disturbed Taylor.
How the fuck could he get him a job the way he twisted around and with the makeup he wore. He was sure a company like Max’s would require professional dress. Maybe they could stash him in the mailroom or someplace where he didn’t have to see many people. But he was sure that wouldn’t work out.
Taylor knew what he had to do. “I’m going to take you shopping and get you some clothes, and then I’m going to teach you what you need to know to keep a job. Have you ever worked any place except a bar or club?”
“When I was fifteen or sixteen I worked in a burger house and then a grocery store.”
“Just as I thought. You will have to lose those earrings, and especially the one in your nose. Get rid of that blond pink hair and cut it short.”
Jay’s hand flew to his head as if he thought someone was standing with a pair of scissors poised to cut his long mane of blond hair. Or it looked blond, but Taylor couldn’t tell until he looked at him that first night in the bar and now he got a better look at the thin trail of fine hair leading to his groin. He was a brunette alright, and it looked like he tried dying his pubic hair too.
“What else, Daddy?”
“Please do not call me that. It’s embarrassing enough that I will have to take you to a barber and to a department store. But in the meantime stop calling me, Daddy and call me Taylor or Mr. Taylor. That sounds better. And when you traipse around the apartment please wear these in the meantime until I get you something presentable to wear.” He tossed Jay some sweats that were too sizes or maybe three sizes too big.
“Can I put them on when I’ve had a little sun?”
“There’s no sun out there, Jay. This is San Francisco.”
“I like to pretend there’s sun.”
“Pretend all you want, but put those on for God’s sake.”
Jay slowly stuck his feet into the legs and pulled the gray sweats up over his short, short, short shorts, and tied it at his tiny waist, and still he had to hold them to keep from fal
ling.
“I hope you’re satisfied. I could trip and fall on one of those monstrous coffee tables and kill myself.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. Now the sweatshirt.”
Jay sucked his teeth and slid it over his head.
He looked down at himself. “I know what your problem is. You want me to dress like this so you don’t find me sexy. You’re afraid of something.”
Jay placed his finger in his mouth after he swiped his tongue across his lips and stuck it under his teeth. His eyes met Taylor’s and they stared at each other as Jay shifted and put his hand on his hip waiting for an answer.
“You are dead wrong about me. And you’re not that alluring. And beside you’re not my type.” Taylor walked in the direction of the terrace and lit a fire in the fire pit. It was just as he’d said. There wasn’t any sun and it was one of those cold foggy cloudy days that San Francisco was so famous for.
Taylor sat down on one of the most expensive and decadent sofas for outdoor living. Who buys a white sofa that stretches the length of this apartment? Someone with too much money and no time to enjoy it.
Jay found a seat near him. “Why are you trying to change me?”
“I’m not trying to change you. You aren’t just that twink who gives his body away for one night in someone’s bed. What are you? Twenty? You have your whole life ahead of you, but you don’t know it. Try something different and if you don’t like it, then you can go back to dancing on a bar for tips, and a chance to have a stranger fuck you.”
“But you never asked me for anything.”
“That’s because I don’t want anything from you, but your company,” Taylor said. “I said before that I’m married.”
“I’ve met many men who claimed to be married, and all they wanted was a piece of my ass. But you, you’re different. I’ve been here three weeks and nothing I do will make you want me.”