The Redemption of Lady Georgiana

by Lisa M. Prysock

Somewhere near the Colton Chateau at Lake Annecy,

  France, Spring of 1811

  Everyone loyal to the crown of England named their son or daughter or knew someone with a son or daughter named after King George III in those days; and thus, we find English born Lady Georgiana Grace Colton affected in this regard, along with many of her generation. The daughter of a British ambassador, she was loyal to the nation of her father and accustomed to a great deal of cultural exposure as her father’s posts had changed often in her formative years. In many respects, Lady Georgiana would prove she was irrevocably anything but ordinary. Though English in citizenship, she spoke with a French accent, and both French and English, equally well. At twenty-three years of age, she was well travelled and had spent one year as a teacher before marrying her beloved Benjamin. As if being orphaned at a young age had not been enough, at twenty-two, she hadn’t even the slightest expectation that she would become a widow. It seemed as if she was on a collision course with a destiny so particular that it must not be prevented, not even by love.

  The shock of her husband’s death had engulfed her in a sorrow that had nearly overcome her usually vibrant soul. There were days when even a year later, she was surprised at how she had recovered even a little, all things taken into consideration. Her love was resplendent and her heart capable and endowed of the Creator to be supplied in her grief, a steadfastly blooming resilience from the upheaval of great sorrow, though she remained for the present time in a slight state of shock, her resilience unbeknownst and hidden from even her own self.

  She had climbed the slippery and jagged slope of sorrow and grief born of multiple losses with courage and determination that surprised even her own self so much that she didn’t recognize her survival yet. She lacked neither in the character traits of kindness nor sweetness and possessed an even tempered, generally happy nature that would aid her in the tumultuous days ahead. Whatever she had previously lacked in humility had been supplied by tragedy. But in her mind at the present time, she was certain of only three things in those days at the end of her first year as a widow: she was broken, perhaps beyond repair; she was alive; and she would not leave nor abandon her kind and loving mother-in-law, Lady Margaret Elaine Alden Colton.

  Her greatest faults seemed to be the agony of an untrusting heart and slow faith; a stubborn streak that seemed genetically endowed; and a lack of patience when situations proved to be difficult, uncomfortable or stifling. She would much rather aim to be an instrument of change than abide deplorable circumstances if she could prevent it or produce a betterment of her situation in life. This lack of patience when combined with short sight sometimes caused her not to measure her choices well, the degree to which her actions might cause her own self additional suffering.

  She had the benefit of an early and happy childhood in both England and later, in the Alps, sharing the steep and rugged mountains around the lake and in the region beyond with the neighboring country of Switzerland. Seldom did her family feel the need to explore beyond the village of Annecy that had sprouted up around the large and serene lake. They sometimes made the trip into Geneva or Chambery, where more mountains towered in the distance over the village that lay at the base of the Rhone-Alps. The French countryside and mountain air had blessed her with a glowing countenance. She had dark hair and gentle, brown eyes to match. She was a slender girl and her slight stature might have been considered a flaw.

  As she clasped the letter that had arrived from England, she tried but found herself unable to leave France or imagine living anywhere else. The idea of leaving the French Alps where she had made her home with her husband and returning to live in England away from everything she had come to love and cherish disturbed her, but in her heart, she knew things could not go on the way they were. The impatience in her personality would not let her defy the opportunity before them, nor did she know what would become of she and her mother-in-law if they did not remove themselves from this place that was so much a part of her later childhood and early adult years, filled with the memories of her happy but brief marriage to her beloved Benjamin.

  She and Lady Margaret finally had an opportunity to escape the turmoil of France for the refuge of England and the safety of relations and forge a whole new chance at happiness. They were engulfed in grief and reminders of grief if they remained where they were. For more than a year since the death of Benjamin and his brother and father, Georgiana and her mother-in-law had tried to hold on, to survive the harsh realities of life. The losses and waves of grief had nearly consumed them, but somehow, miraculously, had not. As Lady Margaret clung to her unwavering faith, Georgiana somehow seemed to acquire her own. Somehow, there was yet hope and faith in God that a new life awaited them beyond the rugged mountains that stood like towers protecting the valley and the lake beneath them.

  She loved that they lived on the border of Switzerland which enabled her to embrace the culture of both her Swiss and French friends and acquaintances. It seemed so far from her English family and heritage. Though she knew her sister would welcome and implore her to make her home with them in England, Georgiana knew she could not possibly abandon her mother-in-law, not even once they were on British soil again. She had barely broached the subject even with Lady (Margaret) Colton, but she knew today the questions would come about her sister once she finished climbing the mountain back to the Colton Chateau.

  How she loved this place that held for her memories both cruel and delightful. She loved the steep mountains dotted with picturesque chalets and chateaux. She loved the view of the red and brown tiled roofs in the sprawling village below with its narrow cobbled and brick streets and rues. She adored the rising bell towers of chapels and the two cathedrals that caught her attention when she thought her heart was crushed; bell towers that caused her spirit to soar when they rang out for weddings and festivals and on Sunday mornings. She liked the way the sun glimmered lovely reflections that danced upon Lake Annecy and the boats that seemed to glide on the water each day carrying supplies, fishermen or romantic couples to and fro, much like she and Benjamin had once traversed the lake in golden times gone by.

  At times, they seemed almost untouched by the chaos of the political turmoil in the nation because they were tucked so neatly away from the rest of the nation there in the French Alps. The memories of those leisurely, romantic days with her beloved Benjamin were days her heart yearned for so much she sometimes thought she would burst with longing. She brushed a hot tear off her cheek and stared numbly at the view of the lake from where she sat.

  She loved to traverse the trails through the wooded areas of the mountainside and follow the dirt paths that wound their way up and down from the chateau to the village below. She often stopped about half way to this very spot where she found herself in a little shaded area, on the sacred little rock where she perched calmly with a view of the lake, the village of Annecy and the castle in the distance with its’ fortified walls that jutted out on a peninsula into the lake. Here, where she was surrounded by pines and birch trees that hid her from all distractions, she had found a place where she often escaped to ponder the complexities of life and gather strength and peace within herself to go on, to continue, to live-- despite a myriad of difficulties. She reflected on how many times she and Benjamin had spent time together there. It had become a secret place of refuge for them, a place away from his brother and parents, where they could be utterly alone, hidden by the foliage and solitude. There, on that very rock where she sat today, Benjamin had read poetry to her, held her hand and shared his dreams with her.

  Her thoughts turned to her immediate situation. They’d sold the last of her father-in-law’s paintings; except for the few Lady Margaret refused to part with. Her mother-in-law had held back her favorites. Viscount Duncan Arthur Colton had been a great artist, greatly inspired by Annecy, renowned throughout Europe. His two sons had followed in his footsteps. Much of his work had slowed because of the wars and
revolution the nation of France had been thrust into. The work he had done both since and at the Palais desTuileries for Louis XVI had soared in value after the horrendous events of 1793 but as Georgiana recalled, it had brought him little comfort. France had lost a great King in his mind. Perhaps if he had not known and loved the royal family so much it would not have impacted and caused him such grief.

  Georgiana could remember Papa Duncan talking to her husband Benjamin and his second son, Samuel, at dinner one evening when she had been an invited guest…when they were younger, before she had married Benjamin: “My sons, what did you learn about today when you went down into the village?”

  “Mon père, ¹ we learned that some say the former Queen, Marie Antoinette-- was too lavish, with regard to her spending habits! They say she and the king did not care about the people who continue to suffer and starve…and that’s why they…” Benjamin glanced solemnly at his mother and then back at his father, who waited with interest for his son to finish his sentence. Instead, Benjamin had slid a finger across his throat rather than verbalizing the gruesome events that had shocked and horrified the nation. He looked down and then continued to slice the thick slab of ham on his plate. He was enjoying a summer in the Alps and looked tan and healthy-- though many of the village youth looked considerably leaner than he and his brother did. The trek up and down the mountain kept them both physically fit but even in the Alps which seemed so far removed from the rest of France, there were those who were poor and suffered from lack of food and shelter.

  “That’s because they don’t enjoy ham and beef as often for dinner as we do!” Papa Duncan put his fork down. Benjamin, Samuel and their friend, Georgiana, the youngest of the group at that time, all looked at him puzzled. What did the Queen’s spending habits have to do with the villagers not having ham for supper? A much younger Lady (Margaret) Colton had also eagerly waited to hear what her husband

  ¹ Mon père = my father

  had to say. They had left Britain during a volatile time… against the advice of nearly everyone who knew them because of her husband’s career as an artist.

  “Do you understand what has happened in this country, my sons?” Papa Duncan inquired. “They have misunderstood what King Louis stood for. He was trying to abolish an antiquated system of serfdom, increase tolerance of those who are not Catholic and remove a crippling land tax from the burden of the French people. The Catholics were angry with him, the government and the wealthy were angry with him. To make matters worse, some of the starving people of the nation blamed him as well when they perceived the Queen spent her francs the way she wanted to spend them and not as they thought she should spend them. While many have indeed suffered for far too long, King Louis was not able to help them quickly enough. Political enemies framed him and France has lost a king trying to do great things for his people.”

  Recalling that dinner so long ago where she had been merely a guest in the home of the Coltons, Georgiana realized she and her mother-in-law hadn’t had a slice of ham, chicken, turkey, beef or any kind of meat in a very long time. She remembered the words of Papa Duncan but couldn’t focus on the past. She had today to get through and a future to consider if they were to survive. She knew they wouldn’t survive the winter if they lingered any longer in Annecy unless something changed in their present circumstances. The Revolution in France continued to brew as a result of poverty and discontent. Constant war under Napoleon’s leadership and the execution of a king and queen had brought unrest and disturbance. There were no more teaching positions available in Annecy and even if there were, the chateau seemed to be a reminder of her husband, his father and brother; all now deceased since that ill-fated night.

  Crossing France could be fraught with peril and quite a dangerous undertaking for two women but it was best they leave before things worsened. Could things get any worse than they already were? The pantry was getting bare and without the servants they were accustomed to and the help of three men, she didn’t think they could survive a chilly fall and cold winter in the mountains. With economic turmoil and political unrest and wars being fought on too many fronts, it wasn’t only Georgiana and her mother-in-law who thought about leaving France. Many of their neighbors and villagers with whom they were acquainted had wanted to leave also… but times were hard and it wasn’t easy in lean times to raise the funds to move an entire family to another nation.

  She tucked the letter from the Earl into the secret pocket sewn inside the folds of her white linen petticoat, smoothed out the skirt of her pale pink, rose -patterned frock and pulled her sage green, summery shawl more tightly to her elbows where it had started to hang too loosely, nearly sweeping the ground at her feet. She reminded herself that she could no longer afford to be careless with her garments because every resource was precious and she had to take great care of what possessions remained.

  Lady Margaret, who had talked of little else than returning to England and remarked several times a week that a letter would soon come from the Earl, would be pleased to hear the contents of the letter. Georgiana was thankful for this moment alone with only her knowledge of what lay in the penned script. She had to come to terms with what she’d known was unavoidable all along, since the first time her mother-in-law had mentioned the possibility of returning to England. As impatient as Georgiana was to grasp a better life than the one they faced now, there was a part of her that was reluctant. Trying to be brave and courageous, she told herself she would not allow those feelings to surface in her any longer. A change in their circumstances was exactly what they needed and she was forced to admit it from deep within her soul. She had no acquaintance with Lady Margaret’s distant relation but his letter stated he was prepared to provide a situation that by all indications would afford them the change they needed to forge a fresh start in an environment of both security and stability.

  She would embrace the change she decided and furthermore, she would do it with joy. Something good was bound to happen to them! She hadn’t lived in England since she was a very young girl, a time she could barely remember and suspected she would not fit in with British women of her own age, but in time perhaps she and her mother-in-law could carve out a new life for themselves with God’s help. Along with her early memories of life in England, there had been a few visits to her sister Elizabeth over the years… and for starters, and though it seemed trivial, she acknowledged to herself that she would have to wear silk stockings as a proper lady would do, though in the heat of summer she refused to comply, preferring bare legs beneath her cotton summer dresses. She hoped she could assimilate and somehow, she knew she had to. She wiggled her toes inside her worn but practical brown suede, ankle- high walking boots and reminded herself that she could do anything she put her mind to; even leaving behind the chateau at Annecy that belonged to her dearly departed husband’s family—the home she had come to call her own.

  Home… or whatever would become their new home… now lay across the miles of French countryside and cities she’d been thrilled to visit --across the waves of the English Channel and deep into the shire of Essex. She would cherish her memories of scenic Parisian boulevards, elaborate architecture and the museums her father-in-law had adored in numerous cities throughout France…and the endless, lush vineyards and acres of rich soil and grains grown in Bordeaux near the Pyrenees¹ where she had spent time with her uncle.

  ¹Mountain range in southwestern France

  Uncle Henri (the brother of Georgiana’s mother) had become the guardian of Georgiana and her older sister, Elizabeth, when their parents had passed away from the smallpox. Uncle Henri brought the girls up in the very same mountain in a chateau that neighbored the Colton chateau. Eventually the girls were sent to a Swiss boarding school and a French finishing school. They spent summers in the Alps where Georgiana’s relationship with Benjamin Colton eventually blossomed from childhood friendship (in the summers when the boys left England to holiday in the Alp
s) --into a romantic courtship (when the Coltons had sold their English home and moved permanently to the Alps). Uncle Henri travelled between his farm in Bordeaux (land he inherited from a deceased relation) and his home in the French Alps, leaving his nieces in the care of a kind, efficient housekeeper as the farm began to require more and more of his attention. His Bordeaux farm consisted of hundreds of acres which produced wheat, oats and barley and an enormous orchard of numerous types of fruit trees. The girls sometimes spent part of their summers and holidays in Bordeaux but at times, it was not safe to travel across France and often, Uncle Henri thought the girls were safer kept tucked away in the Alps.

  Elizabeth (fondly called Beth) was eventually presented at English court (being sponsored by friends of their deceased parents), and was whisked away from Annecy upon her marriage to Sir Richard Hadley, leaving Georgiana to finish her education alone in Switzerland, being several years younger. Uncle Henri had given Elizabeth away in a quaint, English wedding in York and Georgiana performed her duty as maid of honor perfectly. When she returned to the Alps and boarding school, and with Uncle Henri’s departure to oversee the harvesting season in Bordeaux, she felt more isolated and alone than ever before. In a sense, all Georgiana had ever known was loss. The Coltons, particularly Benjamin, had been the one constant in her life since the passing of her mother and father that hadn’t simply disappeared.

  And now, Benjamin had disappeared for good, though Lady Margaret insisted it was only temporary. They would be reunited at the last day. Lady Georgiana held onto that knowledge in her heart more and more.

  She aimlessly picked up pebbles and twigs and tossed them to see how far she could throw them as she recalled the days she had struggled through that year after Beth had married and gone to live in England with her knight in shining armor. She picked the petals off of a sprig of wild clover and her thoughts turned to her own “knight in shining armor” as she remembered her beloved Benjamin again.

  She would remember the days of leisure exploring the beautiful beach along the Mediterranean coast and enjoying the immense expanse of salty sea while playfully holding the hand of her husband and all that she had once been privileged to enjoy in her travels with Benjamin’s family. She could remember his smile and his laughter and the way his eyes had always looked at her in those moments.

  She looked down at the wedding ring on her right hand and was surprised at the numbness in her heart when she looked at it. She didn’t ache so much as she had at the beginning of his passing and each day since then, she’d slowly begun to mend. The first few months had been the hardest. Grief had been her constant companion. Even now, tears were welling up in her eyes when she thought of her husband and how much she missed the feel of his strong arms around her slim shoulders. As she rested her head on her knees and sobbed quietly she gathered the strength to leave the land of her beloved behind.

  She lost track of the time but it could be measured by three gentle breezes that made the afternoon heat tolerable. The solitude seemed to give her a chance to hear the voice of hope. In spite of numbness and traces of shock to her new situation, she had bright hope for a new future. She didn’t know what exactly God would do for her, but she had a feeling that He had a most marvelous plan, as Lady Margaret was supremely convinced. If her mother-in-law could heal from her wounds and losses, far greater than her own, then she could as well. Lady Georgiana felt if she could simply hold Benjamin in her heart, to keep a little place for him, and believe that she could someday love again and have a new future, she could go on. Dare she hope and dream for a second chance at love? The voice of hope nudged her on.

  What other choice did she really have? She was far too young, impatient and impetuous not to hope and dream again. She would cherish her memories of the time she had shared with Benjamin. She did not have to forget him or continue to mourn his loss from her life. She would never find anyone to replace him, but somehow, she had the feeling the good Lord above would not leave her desolate. She felt God had someone in mind for her, somewhere, someday, somehow.

  For some reason she thought moving on from what she had shared with her husband to enjoy life again would be nigh impossible as much as she loved Benjamin. Though her heart ached and her feelings contradicted what she felt in her spirit, she had the distinct impression that the same God that Lady Margaret trusted and served, the same God who had allowed her husband’s life to be cut short along with his brother and father, the same God who provided comfort to her heart in the middle of the night when her tears soaked her pillow, had a new plan for her life. Some days, even though it had been more than a year since the loss of her husband, she felt she might never recover.

  Maybe one day she would even find love again. Deep in her heart she heard a whisper: You will my child! Maybe she would even have children of her own one day, something she and her husband had hoped for. Then the whisper again: You will my child! Benjamin would want her to go on with her life now, she told herself as she stared at the simple gold wedding band on her hand. Amazingly, she discovered profound comfort in that realization and great hope welling up in her heart and soul.

  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:4, Authorized King James Version