by Noelle Adams
He wasn’t such a fool as to fall apart now that it was over, when it had given him exactly what he’d known it would.
And nothing more.
He grabbed for his phone when a text alert came in, but it was just one of his deputies, letting him know he’d picked up old Curtis Wagner for public intoxication and disturbing the peace. The old man got drunk at least once a week and wandered around town, cursing everyone out for existing. He sent back a quick reply and then kept the phone in his hand.
She wasn’t likely to reach out. She usually waited for him to make the moves.
He didn’t mind making the moves. He liked doing it. It gave him a deep sense of satisfaction when he was able to pull Madeline out of her shell. But he wasn’t going to do it when he was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear from him.
That would hurt too much.
After all, he needed a few personal boundaries, if only to protect himself.
“I’m pretty stupid,” he told Marlowe, causing the dog to raise and cock his head inquisitively. “No doubt about it. I fell for her when I knew better. Didn’t I?”
Marlowe’s only answer to this raw confession was another kiss.
“Damn it.”
He’d just muttered this, feeling the curse all the way to his bones, when his phone buzzed in his hand. He blinked and tried to focus on the screen.
His heart leaped when he saw the text was from Madeline. You home?
Yep. His fingers were shaking as he tapped out the message.
I’m at your front door.
It took a few seconds for the words to process. Then Ken jumped out of the recliner, dumping Marlowe unceremoniously onto the floor. The dog didn’t care. He gave an excited yip as he hurried with Ken to the front door of the house.
When Marlowe realized the visitor was Madeline, he made three twirls and howled in delight.
Ken let her into the house, glancing over to his neighbor on the right. Mrs. McCracken wasn’t peeking out through her closed curtains.
“You’re still in your uniform,” Madeline said. She wore a soft sweater and a pair of leggings with short fur-lined boots.
Ken glanced down at his brown-and-tan uniform, complete with a star on the pocket. Today he was even wearing the dorky tie. Loosening the tie, he said with an attempt at casual detachment, “Yeah. I just got home a few minutes ago.”
“Oh no. Is everything all right?” Her big eyes were dark gray in the dim lighting of the hall. “Did something happen?”
“Big accident this afternoon. Three people were injured. One of them serious.”
“Oh no. I can wait if you need to—”
“No, no. It’s fine. We got it taken care of. I’m done for the day. Come on in.” He tried unsuccessfully to keep Marlowe on all four paws. The dog didn’t appreciate not being greeted properly and was trying to get his front paws up on Madeline’s shoulders so they could hug it out.
Madeline crouched down to pet and talk sweet to Marlowe, causing him to writhe in bliss for a minute. Then she straightened up and followed Ken into the living room.
He pulled his tie all the way off and undid a couple of buttons on his shirt before he gestured Madeline onto the couch.
When she sat down, he sat down beside her, holding Marlowe back from jumping up between them. “Go lie down,” he said firmly when the dog sat, shook, and panted up at Madeline, waiting eagerly for more attention.
Marlowe gave a reluctant sniff but obeyed immediately, walking over to do four circles and flop down on the living room dog bed.
That taken care of, Ken raised his eyes to Madeline’s face.
She was biting her lip. Twisting her hands in her lap.
He swallowed over a lump in his throat and muttered, “If you’re gonna dump me, just go ahead and do it.”
Her eyes flew up. “What? You think I’m going to dump you?”
“Aren’t you? Isn’t that why you’re all nervous and reluctant?”
“No!” She’d been pale, but her cheeks were starting to flush now. “I thought you might want to dump me.”
“Why would I want to dump you?” He was so astounded he didn’t guard his words. “That’s the last thing I’d ever do.”
She gave a giggle that sounded like a release of nerves. Her hands were still twisting on her lap. “Well, I thought maybe you...”
“Maybe I what?” He couldn’t resist any longer. He reached over and covered both her hands with one of his. Hers felt small and cool. They grew still at his touch.
“Maybe you were getting tired of me. Annoyed that I’m so... so uptight about everything.”
“You’re not uptight about everything. Just about people finding out about us. And I get that. I do.”
“You do?” Her expression was hopeful. So incredibly sweet. He wasn’t sure what he’d ever done in his life to deserve it.
“Yeah. I do. Would it be easier if it weren’t so important that we keep this secret? Sure, it would. But I get why you don’t want the pressure of everyone knowing. You had a hard time with Josh, and that takes a while to get over. It’s okay with me.”
“You’re sure?” She moved her hands so she was holding his in both of hers. “Because this morning it sounded like you were getting frustrated, and I don’t want you to not be... not be happy.”
She must have picked up some of his feelings. He needed to be more careful about that.
“I’m happy,” he told her. “Being with you for the past month has made me very happy. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Okay. So you want to keep doing this?”
“Of course I do. I was just worried because Jacob seemed to figure out—”
“He did. He figured it out. And I told Ria and Skye this afternoon. But they swore they wouldn’t tell anyone, and Jacob won’t either. I think we’re okay for now.”
“Okay then.” He was intensely relieved—so much that he was suddenly so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open. And maybe there was a tiny little twist in his heart that was disappointed—that the whole thing hadn’t been blown open, that the entire truth hadn’t come out.
But the truth coming out wouldn’t do what he wanted it to do. It would just assure that he’d lose her for good.
Better to have something—have this—than have nothing of her at all.
She leaned over and cupped his cheek. “You look tired, Ken.”
She sounded so tender that his chest hurt. His eyes fell closed. “I am. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah. You want me to go so you can get some rest.”
His eyes popped open. “No! You don’t have to leave. Have you had anything to eat?”
“No. Not really.”
“Me either. Let’s see what I can dig out of my fridge.” He hefted himself up, although every muscle in his body ached, and limped into the kitchen, Marlowe immediately alert and at his heels.
Madeline came with him, and together they found enough stuff to make sandwiches and the leftovers of a fruit salad Katie had given him a couple of days ago. They ate in the kitchen, Marlowe waiting hopefully for any crumbs to drop his way. They cleaned up and went into the backyard to throw Marlowe the ball for a while so the dog could get some energy out and do his business. It was dark, and his backyard was surrounded by a tall privacy fence. He thought it was probably safe enough for Madeline to be standing next to him.
All it would take would be one of his neighbors catching a glimpse of them here together, and their secret affair would be secret no longer.
She didn’t seem as skittish as normal. She didn’t try to hide in the house. She was quieter than normal, but so was he.
Mostly he was tired and relieved.
Since she was still hanging out here, he assumed she wanted to have sex. He hoped he’d have the energy to satisfy her tonight.
He hoped he could even get it up.
When they came back inside, Ken couldn’t think of any other excuse for delay. “You want to stay here tonight? I sh
ould probably take a shower, but after that we can...”
She looked down at the floor. “I’d like to stay, but to tell you the truth, I’m not sure I’m in the mood for... for much of anything exciting tonight.” He could tell she was nervous by that confession.
He almost groaned in relief. “Oh, thank God. I’m wiped out. I’d have tried, if you wanted to do some stuff, but I’m not really in the mood either.”
She smiled at him, surprised and relieved and heart-stoppingly fond. “Really?”
“Yeah. You want to watch some TV?”
“Sounds good to me.”
So they stretched out onto the couch together—her body stretched out against his, tucked between him and the back of the couch—and they found an old crime procedural on a streaming channel that they both liked.
After about a half hour, Marlowe climbed up with them, curling up at their feet. There wasn’t really room on the couch for all three of them, but they made do.
Ken couldn’t remember anything he’d enjoyed more than watching TV with Madeline cuddled up at his side. They occasionally made a few comments, but mostly they just relaxed.
During the second hour, Ken actually fell asleep. He woke up an hour later to discover that both Madeline and Marlowe were sleeping too.
Marlowe was snoring, his big head on Ken’s shin.
Ken smiled down at Madeline, whose cheek was pressed against his shirt.
He wondered if this was what it would have been like in a real relationship with her. If she wanted him for more than rebound sex.
He wondered if there was any chance of it happening.
Sure, he wasn’t the kind of man Madeline would normally go for. She deserved the absolute best. But still... she seemed to have a good time with him. She definitely enjoyed having sex with him.
Maybe he could make her happy.
He wanted her to be happy, and she’d seemed like she had been for the past month. Certainly happier than she’d ever been with Josh, the selfish asshole.
Maybe...
HE WOKE UP AGAIN WHEN Madeline was pulling away from him.
He was barely conscious of what was going on, but he knew instinctively that he didn’t want to lose her. So he mumbled and pulled her soft, warm body closer.
“Ken.”
He managed to open his eyes at the soft plea in her tone. “Y’okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. But my arm is asleep. You’ve been lying on it. So can you...”
“Oh. Sorry.” He hefted himself up to a sitting position. “Shit, what time is it?”
“After midnight.” She sat up too, shaking out her arm to restore circulation.
Taking advantage of the sudden room on the couch, Marlowe stretched out to his full length, giving a loud snore.
“Sorry I fell asleep on you,” he said. “Have you been awake for a while?”
“No. I just woke up.”
“You want to take off?”
“I guess. I walked here.” She gave a wistful look toward the door.
“Well, you can’t walk back by yourself in the dark. I can drop you or walk with you. Or...”
Her eyes shot to his face.
“You can spend the night here if you want.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course I don’t mind.” Did she really think he didn’t want her there? Maybe he was better at hiding his feelings than he thought. “But if you stay, we should probably move to the bed. It’s a lot more comfortable than the couch.”
She smiled. “It’s a deal.”
So they went to the bedroom. Ken took most of his clothes off, and Madeline found one of his clean T-shirts to sleep in. Then they climbed into bed.
Too exhausted by life to pay attention to their hesitant advances, Marlowe kept sleeping on the couch.
Seven
TWO WEEKS LATER, MADELINE woke up in Ken’s bed.
She’d slept there almost every night for the past fourteen days except for his weekend with his girls and then a couple of times when Ken had spent the night with her instead.
That one night seemed to have changed things between them, although neither of them had put it into words.
She was happy. Excited. Kind of fluttery whenever she thought about spending time with Ken. But also nervous about how she was feeling. This didn’t feel entirely safe. Pretty soon things would come to a crossroads, and she’d have to make a real decision.
She didn’t want to do it yet. She wanted to keep going the way they’d been going. She wanted to keep feeling this way.
She was too much of a thinker to genuinely put the question out of her mind, but she’d been doing the best she could for the past two weeks. Overall, she’d done as well as she could expect.
It was Friday now. Just after six in the morning. She didn’t have to work at the library today. She needed to catch up on a couple of messages for the flower shop, but she hoped to knock those out in the morning so she could take the rest of the day off. Then she’d have the entire weekend off. It was a like a bonanza of free time, which wasn’t something she was allowed very often.
She lay in bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about what she’d like to do with the weekend. Part of her had a long to-do list she wanted to tackle. But the rest of her wanted to hang out with Ken and Marlowe the whole time.
It was a silly thought and not likely to happen since Ken always had things to do on the weekends. Even the weekends when he didn’t have his girls—like this one—he always had projects or got called into the sheriff’s office or got invited to parties or cookouts.
He wasn’t the kind of man who would hibernate for the weekend the way she sometimes liked to do.
She heard him shifting positions beside her, so she turned to look. He was still asleep, wearing only his underwear and looking rumpled and masculine with his dark scruff and his chest hair.
She smiled at him rather dopily since he looked uncharacteristically vulnerable when he was sleeping. Like he needed her to smooth down his hair. Like he could use some taking care of.
Like she might be the one to take care of him.
As she watched, his eyelids twitched slightly, and he made a gruff sound in his throat. “Y’okay?” he mumbled, even before he’d opened his eyes.
“Yes, I’m okay. What do you think might have happened to me as I was sleeping in bed beside you?”
He smiled groggily as he opened his eyes. “Don’t know. Monster could’ve gotten you in the middle of the night.”
She giggled and scooted closer. “Not likely. You would have woken up if a monster had gotten too close.”
“Only if you screamed.”
“I would have screamed.”
He’d rolled over onto his side so they were lying facing each other. “I don’t know. You’re so quiet and contained that you might have tried to fight it without making a sound.”
She wondered when he’d gotten to know her so well. So deeply. “I’d have made a sound. I’d have wanted you to help me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. If I’m facing a monster, I’m definitely going to want you around to help. So I’d scream to wake you up.”
“Good.” He pulled her face close enough to his to kiss her. “Because I’m gonna wanna help you face down any monsters you have to fight.”
Her stomach twisted in both nerves and emotional pleasure. His blue eyes were soft and fond when he pulled back from the kiss. “Y’okay?” he asked again, softer this time.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m good.”
“Good. Me too.” He groaned as he rolled over onto his back, stretching his arms out over his bed. “Shit, I don’t want to get up today.”
“Well, it’s Friday. You just have to get through today, and then you’ll get the weekend.”
“That’s true.” He turned his head to check her face. “You got big plans this weekend?”
“No. Not much. I’m planning to finish up my work for the flower shop this morning
, and then I have the rest of the weekend off.”
“That’s good. Maybe we can hang out some since I won’t have the girls.”
Since this was exactly what she’d been hoping, she smiled and started to say that she’d like that.
Then Ken broke in, “Shit.”
“What?”
“I forgot about Bill’s retirement party tonight at Anna’s. I need to at least make an appearance there.”
Bill West had been the town manager for decades.
“Oh yeah. I was invited to that too. I was planning to stop by too. But that won’t take too long.”
“No. It won’t.” He paused, like he was preparing to say something important. Madeline even held her breath. But all he said was, “Then I guess I’ll see you there then.”
“Yeah.”
“You want me to come over to your place afterward?”
“Sure. That would be fine. Or I can come here. I like it here, and that way poor Marlowe doesn’t have to spend the night alone.”
At the sound of his name, Marlowe jumped up from the dog bed where he’d been sleeping all night and clambered over toward the bed, eyes bright and tongue lolling. He obviously believed his name being spoken meant it was time for his breakfast.
Madeline laughed and reached down to scratch behind his ears.
“Okay. You come here then. Marlowe will certainly appreciate it.” Ken’s voice was warm. Slightly textured. He gave her hair a brief caress before he rolled out of bed with visible reluctance. “Shower,” he muttered. “Shower. Coffee. Work.”
“And Marlowe’s breakfast,” Madeline added with another giggle. “Don’t forget about that!”
“I wouldn’t dream of forgetting that. Shower first or I’ll never manage to stay out of bed.”
He disappeared into the bathroom while Madeline continued to stroke Marlowe’s soft fur. She was smiling rather sappily. But that was probably because of the dog.
Definitely not because of Ken.