The Secret of Santa

by Liz Isaacson

  “Not necessarily.”

  “Okay,” he said. When she didn’t start, Ace blurted, “I saw my Aunt Lois out on a date with the fire chief. Like, they’re dating. They were holding hands and everything, and she told me I couldn’t tell anyone, and Bishop—that’s her son and my cousin—is like, my best friend, and I’m dying inside.”

  He took a deep breath, and it cleansed his lungs as if he’d been holding dirty water in there for hours.

  He sighed, physically feeling a weight leave his soul. “Wow, that felt great to say out loud to someone else.” He glanced at her, suddenly afraid again. “You can’t say anything to anyone.”

  “I won’t,” she promised, her smile glorious. “Wow, go Aunt Lois.”

  “Right?” Ace chuckled, relaxing even further. “You catered her birthday lunch. She’s seventy-seven.”

  “She must’ve been lonely.”

  “Uncle Stone died fifteen years ago.” Ace hadn’t given it much thought, but yes, Aunt Lois was probably lonely. His mother at least had daily activities at the assisted living facility, with plenty of people her age, three meals a day, and a van that took them around to dozens of different places in Three Rivers.

  “What about your dad?” Holly Ann asked.

  Ace’s skin prickled, and he cleared his throat. “Uh, Daddy died almost six years ago now.”

  “How did he die?”

  “Prostate cancer,” Ace said. “Same as Uncle Stone. See, there’s another thing Bear called a family meeting about. He said both of our fathers had died from this disease, and we needed to be vigilant with our health. I’m only thirty-five, but I got screened this summer.”

  “That’s smart,” Holly Ann said.

  Ace let her settle back into silence, and he struggled to decide how far to push her as he made the turn from asphalt to gravel and started up to Shiloh Ridge.

  “We own all of this,” he said. “Both sides of the road. This is the old Kinder Ranch land. There’s a house out there Bishop and Montana are going to work on. One of us will live there.”

  “Where will you live?”

  “It’s undecided right now.” Ace hadn’t been surprised at the meeting last week. He’d always known Ward would stay at Bull House. It had never been on Ace’s radar before, because he hadn’t been thinking wife and family before.

  He was now. At least the wife part.

  “We’re almost there,” he said. “Do you want to tell me your secret right now, or wait?” He looked over at her, and their eyes met. Hers reminded him of a deep, dark night with a full super-moon filling the blackness with silver light. With holiness and wonder, the kind that made a man pause and contemplate the nature of his existence and how he fit into this wide world.

  “Can we wait?” she finally asked. “I haven’t met your whole family before.”

  “Actually—”

  “As your girlfriend,” she clarified.

  When Ace glanced back at her, she did look slightly pale. Maybe she was sick, or maybe the thought of meeting his entire loud, obnoxious, largely male family brought a pinch to her stomach the same way it did his.

  He pulled up to True Blue and parked next to Bishop’s truck. The scent of sweet barbecue sauce hung in the air, and he said, “Well, here we are.”

  Neither of them moved, and Ace stared at the beautiful barn door Bishop had made with his bare hands. The man had a real affinity for wood, and Ace wondered what talent he had that could be compared with Bishop’s.

  He couldn’t think of one, and he jumped as someone knocked on his window. He looked left to find Preacher standing there, a big, goofy grin on his face.

  “Idiot,” Ace muttered under his breath, his heart still beating with lots of extra adrenaline.

  He opened the door, Preacher’s annoying laughter so much louder. “You should’ve seen your face.”

  “You should see yours after I rearrange it for you.”

  Preacher danced away from him, still chuckling, and went into the barn with Judge, who also grinned like a fool. No wonder Mister didn’t like living with the two of them. They did like to play tricks and pranks on people, and Ace normally didn’t mind. He also didn’t normally have Holly Ann with him.

  She met him at the front of the truck, her long, cool fingers sliding along his forearm and into his. They breathed together, and Ace said, “That was Preacher and Judge. They’re my cousins.”

  They entered the barn too, and Ace knew they’d be some of the last to arrive. Sure enough, they were the very last to arrive, and Etta gave him a glare as she nodded to Ida. The microphone clicked on, and she said, “Okay, we’re ready.”

  She welcomed everyone as if they’d have a program later and went over the food the same way she always did. At least she, Ida, and Bishop had made one of Ace’s favorite meals—gravy-covered pork chops, garlic mashed potatoes, and lemony green beans.

  “Mother has an announcement, and then she’ll say grace.”

  In the space between Etta handing Mother the mic, Ace hurried Holly Ann to a couple of seats next to Bishop and Montana, flashing his cousin a grateful smile.

  “Thank you, Etta,” Mother said. She stood at the front of the room, which semi-surprised Ace. She was a little older than Aunt Lois, and she had some mobility issues due to a knee replacement and then a hip replacement on the same side only a year later. She’d moved into the assisted living facility following the second surgery, claiming she didn’t want to be a burden at the ranch, and she’d like to be in town anyway.

  Ace was taking her home that afternoon when he took Holly, and he normally enjoyed talking with his mother.

  Mother took a sharp breath, and Ace leaned forward. Something was wrong, and his pulse crashed through his veins and lodged in his throat.

  “What’s goin’ on?” Bishop whispered, but Ace just shook his head.

  “You might have noticed that Ranger and Oakley aren’t here,” Mother said, her voice steady though she looked nervous with wide eyes painted with seriousness. “They’re taking some time to recover from the loss of their second baby.” She paused as emotion rolled across her face. Ace tried to breathe and found he couldn’t get a whole breath. Beside him, Bishop actually stood up.

  “They do not want any questions right now. Things are quite raw for them, especially Oakley—” Mother’s voice broke, and Ace knew she loved Oakley deeply. She continued anyway, her voice tight and pinched, coming from down deep in her chest. “They would appreciate your prayers and kindness. Let them bring up anything they want to talk about, and don’t go walking on eggshells around them. They want to be treated normally, but with the knowledge of the pain they’re currently dealing with.”

  Montana touched Bishop’s arm, and he fell back into his seat. He lived with Ranger and Oakley in the homestead, and he’d been working with Ranger on his app for a while now.

  Ace didn’t know what to say. He wanted to fly down the road and straight to Ranger and just hug him. He wanted to take him a huge bag of peanut M&Ms—his favorite candy—and just sit with him until everything didn’t hurt anymore.

  Mother nodded, folded her arms, and began to pray. A measure of unrest had started to play through Ace, and it took him a moment to bow his head too.

  He loved listening to his mother pray, as she had a soothing yet firm voice, and surely even the Lord wouldn’t dare to disobey her.

  She prayed for health and strength for everyone present, for the calming power of the Holy Ghost to comfort Oakley and Ranger, and for continued safety of Sammy and Bear’s baby.

  By the time she finished, his eyelashes had tears clinging to them, and he quickly wiped his face before he looked up. He wasn’t the only one weeping, and for that, he was grateful.

  No one moved the way they normally did, almost like the reverence and spirit his mother had called down from heaven had glued them to their seats.

  Ace looked around at everyone in the barn. All of his siblings—except Ranger—were there. Ida had Brady at her side. A
rizona had brought her boyfriend, Duke, and Ace looked quickly away from them. Bear and Sammy and Lincoln sat with Ward, Cactus, and Mister.

  Aunt Lois, Judge, and Preacher still had their heads bowed, and it wasn’t until Etta stood up and said, “Come on, everyone. Let’s eat,” that anyone moved.

  Bear stood first, reaching for Lincoln’s hand. The two of them led the way, and Ace simply watched.

  Holly Ann laced her arm through his and leaned into him. He ducked his head to the right as she whispered in his ear, “That was beautiful, Ace.”

  He nodded, because it was.

  Her fingers tightened. “I’m not sure I belong here.”

  He turned further, dropping his head slightly to protect the two of them from everyone else. “What do you mean? Of course you do.”

  “You guys are so…connected. You have deep roots here.”

  “Yes,” he said slowly. “You’re connected to your father and your sister.” He knew, because she’d texted him about her sister’s birthday party in December already.

  “This is my secret,” she whispered. “I’m not sure I’m capable of growing roots.”

  He waited for her to say more. “You’re going to have to explain that, sweetheart.” His chest didn’t like the sound of it though, and it had started caving in toward his heart, almost like it wanted to protect the vital organ from getting broken.

  “I have a gypsy soul,” she said, as serious as he’d ever heard her. “Like my mother.”

  “Holly Ann,” he said gently. “That’s not true.”

  “She left, because she didn’t like being stuck in one place, with the same life day in and day out. I hate that too. I’ve had at least ten different careers. I’m always moving from one thing to the next.”

  “You’ve stayed in Three Rivers,” he said. “For thirty-seven years. That’s a lot of roots for not having any.”

  “I hate schedules and routines.”

  “That’s different than not having roots.” They stayed very close together, but not facing. Her body heat seeped into his, and he sure didn’t want her to leave town. At the same time, she’d tried to leave him in her past a couple of times now. Maybe three. Was that part of her wandering heart? Would she ever be able to commit to him fully?

  The turmoil inside him rotated slowly, picking up speed with each new question he thought of.

  Holly Ann lifted her head, her hand slipping along his arm as she did. “Let’s go eat,” she said. “We can talk more about this later.”

  Ace nodded, because this lunch was somber enough already. He stood with her and kept her hand secured in his. His eyes met Ward’s, and he headed over to his older brother. They grabbed onto one another, and Ace said, “Let’s go see him tonight.”

  “I’ll text him in a bit,” Ward said. They separated, and he looked at Holly Ann.

  “My brother, Ward,” Ace said, taking her hand and bringing her to his side again. “Ward, you remember Holly Ann.”

  “Of course I do.” Ward smiled at her, and Ace wondered why he hadn’t been able to find someone to fall in love with. He was tall and strong and hardworking. He was loyal and true and just so good. Ace had looked up to him his whole life, and he couldn’t imagine not having his brother for his hero.

  Mother arrived back at the table, and she put her plate of food at her spot before turning to Ace and Holly Ann. “Introduce me to this lovely woman,” she said, her smile warm and inviting.

  “Momma,” Ace said, his voice catching. “This is my Holly Ann.”

  Holly Ann’s hand squeezed, and he squeezed back. “Holly Ann, my mother, Dawna.”

  Mother grinned at Holly Ann and opened her arms, making Ace tense. But Holly Ann released his hand, grinned, and stepped forward and into his mother’s arms.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Holly Ann hadn’t been hugged by a mother in years and years and years. Ace’s mother possessed warmth and strength and she had no problem giving it to everyone around her.

  Holly Ann found herself gripping the woman with something inside her she didn’t know existed. The desire to have a maternal figure in her life. The desire to be a mother herself.

  The idea terrified her, because she would not put a child through what she and Bethany Rose had gone through. She didn’t trust herself to not do the exact same thing her mom had done when she woke up one day and realized how trapped she was. How suffocating the routine of making breakfast for the kids was. How unhappy she was with every moment of every day.

  Those were the words of her mother, the explanations she’d given over the years for why she’d had to walk away.

  She hadn’t walked, though she claimed she’d been miserable for years before she’d finally found the courage to leave. In Holly Ann’s opinion, she’d run.

  She’d broken everything, and then she’d sprinted away from the scattered shards of three other lives.

  Daddy had picked up as many as he could. Holly Ann had helped when she could. Bethany Rose hadn’t started when there were big pieces to collect, but she’d been bringing tiny fragments back to the table for years now.

  The three of them had made the new version of their family work, even as jagged and crooked as it had been.

  Ace’s mother stepped back but took hold of one of Holly Ann’s hands. “Why don’t you bring me some of those caramel brownies you made for Lois’s birthday? They don’t make many desserts at Nestled Oak.”

  “They do too, Mother,” Ida said, arriving on the scene. She gave Holly Ann a knowing smile. “Sometimes Mother only eats desserts.”

  “That was a secret,” Dawna shot her daughter a look and sat down. She looked at her plate, which held two desserts and a pork chop. “Well, perhaps I do like having dessert first.”

  Ace started to laugh, which gave Holly Ann permission to giggle too. She’d gladly make as many brownies as his mother wanted, and she leaned down and told her as much before going with Ace to get something to eat.

  The mood lightened from there, and she enjoyed eating delicious food with Bishop and his girlfriend, Montana Martin, and Mister, who came and joined them about halfway through the meal.

  Ace didn’t act strangely after what she’d said, and he didn’t push her to say more about it in mixed company. She listened to him talk with Bishop and Montana about a shed they’d be working on that week, and she asked Mister about the ranch and what he did there.

  He talked about cattle as if she knew the ins and outs of what it took to keep thirty thousand of them alive, and she nodded along as if she did. He seemed nice enough, and he definitely possessed those Glover genes that put him on a plane higher than the average man.

  “Are you seeing anyone?” she asked, and Mister looked up at her in pure surprise.

  “No,” he said slowly, glancing at Ace.

  Holly Ann smiled at him. “I happen to know someone you might like. I’m pretty sure she’d like you.”

  “Yeah?” he asked. “How do you know?”

  “Well.” She looked up to that dark brown cowboy hat and back to his wide shoulders. “You’re good-looking. Don’t tell me no one’s ever told you that.”

  He just blinked at her, his eyes wide.

  “You have a job,” she added. “That’s a big plus for women.”

  “A job?” he repeated.

  A good one, if Holly Ann could judge by this barn. She’d been here before, and the place oozed money. She wasn’t sure what the rest of the ranch looked like, but thirty thousand head of cattle felt huge to her, and the homestead they’d passed on the way to the barn could only be classified as a mansion.

  “And you’ve been talking to me like a normal person for a while now.” She gave him another encouraging smile. “Maybe you don’t do blind dates, but I think Claudia would like you.”

  “How do you know Claudia?” Mister folded his arms, and he almost settled his expression into a glare. One wrong answer, and the blind date would be a no-go.

  “She works at the art center downtown
. I took a bunch of painting classes there. She’s amazing with oils, but her real love is sculpture.”

  Mister gave nothing away, and he flicked his gaze to Ace. Holly Ann turned toward him too, finding his conversation with Bishop and Montana had wrapped up.

  “What’s goin’ on here?” he asked, looking from her to Mister.

  “I’m trying to set him up with Claudia Gray,” she said with a big smile. “He’s not so sure he wants to go out with a gorgeous, talented blonde woman with a master’s degree in art history.”

  “Oh, well, it’s the art history,” Ace teased. “Mister has a short-term memory problem. He can’t even remember what he did last week.”

  Mister smiled and shook his head at Ace. His eyes came back to Holly Ann’s, and he sobered a little. “I’ve never been on a blind date.”

  “Really?” Holly Ann asked. “You clearly need more female interference in your life.” She laughed and so did he.

  Then he said, “Why not? Set it up.”

  Ace whooped, and Holly Ann felt the same joy in her soul. “Be sure to tell Claudia that he hasn’t been out with anyone in a while and to be patient.”

  “Hey,” Mister said.

  “What?” Ace asked. “You haven’t.”

  “Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to act on a date.”

  “Do you?” Ace asked. “First date, Mister. What would you do?”

  Holly Ann sure did like listening to them go back and forth, neither of them giving a single inch though they both made good points.

  Looking around, Holly Ann liked everything she saw. The close relationships she could feel and see. The well-kept buildings. The way they all stood up about the same time and helped to clean up.

  They were a family, and the spirit of that couldn’t be denied. Holly Ann stood and started helping to fold chairs and put them away, because she wanted to belong to these people as much as they belonged to each other.

  She wasn’t sure what that meant, or how she could do that without getting buried alive.