“So, I was thinking. I’m probably going to have to start seeing a vocal coach and actually taking the steps toward recovery soon. That might mean I have to go out to Los Angeles for a while. To meet with the guys, to start working toward rebuilding my career. I know you have school—”
“It’s all online,” I cut in. “I can do it anywhere, and if need be, I can fly back home at any time.”
“You’ll come with me?” he asked, surprised.
I took his hand into mine and squeezed it twice. A sigh of relief left him.
“That makes me happy. It’s easier with you, you know? Everything’s easier.”
We pulled up to James’ Boat Shop, and I couldn’t stop smiling at the howling old dog on the front porch. As we walked up the steps, I moved over to him and started petting him behind his ear as he stopped his yapping. Good boy.
“I’ve been here a few times, and that’s the quietest I’ve ever heard him,” Brooks joked. When we walked into the shop, we were greeted by a man who looked to be our age, maybe in his mid-thirties.
“Hey, Brooks, it’s nice to see you again,” the guy said, walking over to Brooks, patting him on the back. “But I don’t think we’ve met.” He held his hand out to me. “I’m Michael. I run this place with my father.”
I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Maggie.”
“My dad said if you want, you can walk around the dock and check out a few of the boats. He’s finishing up a phone call right now. He said he’ll meet you out back if that works.”
“For sure, that’s fine. Thanks, Michael,” Brooks said.
Brooks took my hand into his, and we walked around the back, waiting on the dock, studying the boats.
“Does this bother you?” I asked. “Being this close to boats? Should we go wait in the front of the shop?”
He shook his head. “No. It more so only bothers me when I’m dreaming. I’m okay.”
“Okay.” I glanced down at our hands and grinned. “This is weird, huh? We’re outside holding hands. We’re outside together.”
He pulled me close to him and brushed his nose against mine. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
It was more amazing than he’d known. I’d dreamed of that day for so long.
The door to the shop swung open, and an older man came out of the building smoking a cigarette. The dog in the front of the store started howling again. “Goddammit, shut up, Wilson! Shh! Shh! Freaking dog.”
My body tightened up. Brooks narrowed his eyes at me. “You okay?”
Shh… Shh…
I nodded my head. “Yes. I’m fine. Sorry. Sometimes I just have flashes.”
His forehead wrinkled and he lowered his eyebrows as he studied me.
I gave him a tight smile. “I’m fine. Really.”
“Okay,” he said warily.
The man started in our direction, and I wrapped my arm around Brooks’ waist pulling him closer to me.
The closer he grew, the more my stomach tightened. He stopped midway and stomped out his cigarette, then waved us over. “Hey, sorry about the wait. Long phone call, you know, business and all. How about you two head inside with me and we’ll get all of the paperwork done in my office.”
We started in his direction, catching up with him. He held his hand out to me. “Hey, I’m James. Nice to meet you.”
I shook his hand, and the smell of tobacco danced beneath my nose. An unsettling feeling took over my gut. He led us to his office and closed the door behind him. Wilson was still barking, and James shouted once more. “Shh, Wilson! Shut it!” He massaged his temple and apologized. “After all these years that dog still won’t shut up. Anyway.” He plopped down in his chair and gave Brooks a tight smile. “I wish we were meeting on better terms. I’m sorry about your accident. It’s unfortunate when freak accidents take place like that.”
He rolled up his sleeves, and my eyes fell to his forearm, studying his tattoos.
The air in the room was getting thicker, and I swore the walls were moving in on me. He reached in front of him and grabbed two pieces of black licorice.
My mind started spinning faster and faster. I felt his hold on me. I felt his hands around my neck, his lips against my ears, his body on top of mine.
I pushed my chair back and stumbled to stand. “No,” I murmured, moving away from his desk. “No…”
James stared at me with narrowed eyes. “Uh, are you okay?” His glare shifted to Brooks. “Is she okay?”
Brooks stood up and walked in my direction. “Maggie, what is it?” The closer he came, the more my body shook. I shut my eyes, shaking my head back and forth. No. No.
Not only could I see him, but I felt him. I felt his face against my face, his skin against my skin, his lips against…
“Maggie, it’s okay,” Brooks said, his voice soothing. “You’re just having a panic. It’s okay, everything’s all right.”
“No!” I shouted, my eyes shooting open. “No, it’s not okay. It’s not okay. It’s…” I felt cold. I felt sick. I was going to throw up. I knew I’d throw up.
Within seconds my past and present crashed together, and I blinked.
A man was there with another. A woman. She kept telling him no, saying she couldn’t be with him anymore, and he didn’t like that. “We have a life together, Julia. We have a family.”
I blinked again.
Brooks grew closer to me, his eyes filled with worry. “Maggie, talk to me.” James stood from his chair and raced his fingers through his hair, walking my way.
Blink.
He screamed at her, his voice cracking. “You fucking whore!” he shouted, slapping her hard across the face. She stumbled backward and whimpered, her hand flying to her cheek. “I gave you everything. We had a life together. I just took over the business. We were getting on our feet. What about our son? What about our family?”
Blink.
Wilson started howling, and James shouted over and over again, shushing the dog. “Michael! Get that damn dog to be quiet!” His eyes moved over to me. He wouldn’t take his eyes off me.
“Don’t look at me,” I whispered.
Blink.
My hands clamped up, my mind spun. I stumbled backward, breaking each and every branch my flip-flops hit along the way. My back slammed against the closest tree trunk as the devil’s chocolate brown eyes danced across my body.
Blink.
Michael came into the room. His eyes narrowed when he looked my way. He seemed confused. Everyone was confused. Everyone yelled. Everyone shouted over one another, trying to figure out what was happening to me. I didn’t know what was happening to me.
“She’s sweating like crazy. She’s going to pass out.”
My throat was tight. He was choking me. The devil was inches away from me, and I could feel his grip around my neck.
Blink.
He placed a hand around my neck, choking me, making it harder and harder to breathe. He cried. He cried so much. He cried and apologized. He apologized for hurting me, apologized for pushing a few fingers into the side of my neck, making it harder and harder for me to find my next breaths. He told me he loved her, told me love did it to him, to her. He swore he’d never hurt her. He promised he wouldn’t hurt the woman he already killed.
Blink.
James’ hand lay against my skin, and I shoved him away. “No!” I fall backward, into the corner of the room. “Don’t touch me.” My hands flew to my ears, and I slid down against the wall. “You did this! You did this!” I screamed, my throat burning, my heart pounding against my ribcage. “You did this!”
Blink.
“You weren’t supposed to be here, but now you are,” he said, lowering his face down to me. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He smelled like tobacco and licorice, and his forearm had a big tattoo of two praying hands with a person’s name beneath it. “How did you get here?” he asked.
Shh…
Shh…
I felt dirty.
I felt used.
> I felt trapped.
Did Brooks see it? Did he see the tattoo? Did he smell the tobacco? Did he notice the licorice?
Blink.
I shut my eyes. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to blink anymore. I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see, but, I still saw. I saw him. I felt him. He was still a part of me.
Everything grew darker.
Everything became shadows.
Everything went black.
Then, I screamed.
“You killed her! You killed her! You killed Julia!”
40
Brooks
The space filled with silence. Maggie shook in the corner and wouldn’t stop crying. Michael was staring at his father, and James’ eyes were on Maggie.
“What did you just say?” Michael asked, confused.
Maggie’s hands were pressed to her ears, and I could almost feel her fear. Her lips parted to speak, but no sound came out.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but it might be best if you both go,” James said with a weighted sigh. He walked over to Maggie and placed his arm on hers to lift her up.
She started shaking more, curling into a ball. “No! Please, don’t,” she cried.
I hurried to her side and slightly shoved him away from her. “Back up please.”
“What’s happening?” Michael asked, his brow bent. “What’s wrong with her? Should I call for help?”
“No,” James said. “I think it’s best if they just leave. It’s obvious she’s having some kind of mental breakdown.”
“It’s not a mental breakdown,” I snapped. “She’s just…” My words faltered and I shifted my attention to Maggie. “Maggie. What’s happening?”
“He killed her,” she said. “He’s the one from the woods.”
I turned to James and in a split second I saw the fear in his eyes.
“She drowned in Harper Creek. I saw her. I saw you drown her,” Maggie cried.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, little girl, so you best stop talking.”
“You killed your wife,” Maggie said as she began to stand up. “I saw you. I was there.”
“Dad?” Michael whispered, his voice shaking. “What is she talking about?”
“Hell if I know. She’s obviously delusional. She needs to be evaluated. I’m sorry, Brooks, but I need you to go. I don’t know what sparked her panics, but you need to get that girl help. I’ll even cancel out your charges for the boat. Just get that girl some help.”
“Tell the truth,” Maggie said, standing taller each second. “You tell the truth. Tell him what you did.”
James walked over to his desk and sat in his chair. He lifted his telephone and waved it in the air. “That’s it. I’m calling the cops. This is getting out of hand.”
Maggie didn’t say a word. Her arms crossed, and even though she shook, she didn’t fall. “Fine. Call them. If you didn’t do what I know you did, dial nine-one-one.”
James’ hand began to shake, and Michael’s eyes widened with horror.
“Dad. Call them. Dial the number.”
James slowly placed the phone down on the desk. Michael almost collapsed to the ground. “No. No…”
James looked at Maggie, defeated, stunned. “How? How did you know?”
“I was the little girl who saw the whole thing.”
“Oh my God,” James began sobbing, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. “It was an accident. It was all an accident. I didn’t mean to…”
“No.” Michael kept shaking his head. “No, Mom left us. Remember? She ran off with someone else. That’s what you told me! That’s what you swore happened.”
“She did. Well, she was. She was going to leave us, Michael. I knew she was going to leave. I found phone calls from some guy in her phone, and she shrugged it off. We got into a fight, and she stormed off into the woods. Oh my God, I didn’t mean to do it. You gotta believe me.” He stood and rushed to his son’s side. “Michael, you gotta believe me. I loved her. I loved her so fucking much.”
I stepped in front of Maggie, uncertain of what James might do. He seemed deranged, the way he paced back and forth running his hands through his hair. He hurried over to his desk, unlocking drawers and pulling out paperwork.
“Dad, what are you doing?” Michael asked, flabbergasted.
“We gotta go, Michael. We gotta get lost for a while. You and me, okay? It’s always been you and me. We can start over. I made a mistake, but I’ve dealt with the guilt. I’ve lived each day with the guilt of what I’ve done. We gotta go now.”
“Dad, calm down.”
“No!” James’ face was red. He kept rolling his shoulders and blowing out short breaths of air. “We need to leave, Michael. We have to…” His words faltered as he started to sob uncontrollably. “I held her, Michael. I held her in my arms. I didn’t mean to…”
Michael approached his father with his hands raised. “It’s okay, Dad. Come here, come here. We’ll go. We’ll go.” He wrapped his arms around his father and pulled him in close. “You’re okay, Dad. You’re fine.”
James continued to cry into his son’s t-shirt, saying words that were unrecognizable.
When Michael looked over at me, he nodded toward the desk telephone, and mouthed, “Call the police.”
By the time James realized what was happening, it was too late. His son held him in a bear hug and wasn’t going to let him budge. The cops arrived, and after some explanation of the situation, James was taken into custody. The whole time Maggie stood tall. She spoke to the police officers with poise and strength. Her words never tumbled, and her voice hardly shook.
When the police car with James inside drove off, a heavy breath left her body. “He’s gone?” she asked me.
“Yeah. He’s gone.”
Her body almost collapsed to the ground, but I caught her. I held her up as she cried and cried, but I knew her tears weren’t from fear anymore.
They were the tears of her freedom.
After the events unfolded, the police sent out a search team to search Harper Creek. It took five days before they discovered Julia’s body. The discovery weighed heavy on many people—all of Harper County. Maggie’s family dealt with the revelation of what had happened the best they could, which meant standing by one another through all of it. I wasn’t too worried about them—they’d come out on the other side stronger for their dark days.
Yet the person I felt the most for was the son who believed his mother walked out on him. The son who lived a life with a father who in a blink of an eye became a monster. Michael had a long road ahead of him, and I wasn’t sure how he’d deal with the truths that unfolded in front of his eyes.
I’d prayed he’d find peace as he stood in the eye of the storm.
41
Maggie
I was due in court, but my feet wouldn’t budge.
I wore a black laced dress, yellow flats, and my hair was curled, along with my eyelashes, thanks to Cheryl.
“You have to look presentable in court, Maggie. There are always cameras around, especially when you leave the building. With a story as big as this one, there’s going to be reporters,” she explained as she curled my hair.
Since she’d finished making me camera appropriate, I’d moved to my floor-length mirror, and I hadn’t stopped staring. Everyone was worried about me after what had happened at James’ Boat Shop. They’d thought I’d fall back into my fear, back into my silence—which was somewhat true. I hadn’t spoken much since James was taken into custody. I hadn’t said a word at all about what I witnessed in those woods, even though they knew it had to be awful watching a woman die and believing you were next.
When I was called to testify against James, I quickly agreed. I knew how important my side of the story would be. I knew how important it was to finally speak not only for myself, but for Julia. For Michael.
I was ready. I was ready to go to the courthouse. There was only
one small problem: my feet wouldn’t move.
Brooks showed up and stood in my doorway. He wore a navy blue suit with a checkered light blue tie. His small smile made me grin. He didn’t say anything, but I knew what he was thinking.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, going back to smoothing out my dress.
“Liar,” he said, walking over to me. He stood behind me and wrapped me in his arms. We stared at one another in the mirror. Brooks rested his chin on my shoulder. “Tell me what it is. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“It’s just…I have to sit across from him today. I have to sit knowing what that man did and try my best not to react. When I saw him before, everything happened so fast. It was all a flash, but now I really have to face him. He was the one who dealt me my hand; he was the one who stole my voice from me. How do I deal with that? How do I stand in front of the man who stole my voice all those years ago, and how do I ask for him to give it back?”
“You don’t ask,” Brooks said. “You take it. You take back what he stole from you without permission. Without guilt. It’s yours. The only way you take it back is by telling your story. You have a voice, Maggie May. You always have. Now it’s just time for the rest of the world to hear it.”
“Can we listen to a song maybe?” I asked, still nervous.
“Always.” He took out his phone and grabbed a pair of earbuds, handing me one. “What do you want to hear?”
“Play something that will drown me,” I whispered.
So he played me our song.
I told my story. Every piece, every inch, every scar. My family sat in court listening. Mama cried, and Daddy wiped her tears. Cheryl and Calvin didn’t look away from me for a second’s time. I wasn’t certain I would’ve been able to speak so loud without their quiet support coming my way.
When I finished, I met my family in the hallway, and they told me how strong I’d been, going through everything I experienced. The doors to the courtroom opened minutes later, and Michael walked out. His eyes were heavy, and I could see it—the weight of the world on his shoulders. He walked in my direction and gave me a smile that transformed to a frown within seconds. His hands were stuffed in his slacks.
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