Oh, God! What does that mean? Does it mean what I think it does? Is he proposing more than just going to the Winter Formal together?
I take a deep breath and blurt out, "Just ask me." The suspense is almost too much.
Looking directly into my eyes and allowing me to see all he feels, but normally keeps hidden, he asks, "Will you let me get us a room for later that night? Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to, but I really want to be alone with you, Jo. Even if you just let me hold you, I want us to have the time and place to be together. I want you, in any way you'll let me have you."
Wow! How am I supposed to respond to that? I'm a quivering mess of nerves and also a melted puddle of emotions. He has reached deep inside me and pulled all my thoughts and feelings to the surface. He has to know I'm ready for more, yet he is letting me set the pace. Maybe I don't want to be the one in charge? I want to feel alive and desired by his need for me. Basically, I want him to be so overcome with lust that he devours me with his passion. I don't want to be the shy virgin who has to guide the whole experience at a sedate pace.
I want to feel like a woman, damn it!
I press the full length of my body against his and grab his shoulders, making sure he feels the bite of my nails. I don't know where this boldness has come from, but it feels right. I bend my head and breath against his ear, saying, "I'm ready for you, Cruz. Wholly and completely. I want to feel your body against mine and look into your eyes when you claim what has always been yours."
He shudders against me and I can feel the effect my words have on him when he hardens against my stomach. He sucks in a breath and bends his head closer to mine and whispers against my neck. "Jo, do you mean that? Fuck, I want you to mean it. You have no idea how badly I want you. It's all I think about and I'm going crazy when I'm around because I want you so badly."
I press myself tighter against him and rub subtly against his erection. He hisses in a breath and I whisper seductively, "I mean it, and I can't wait for you to show me."
His arms come around me and he holds me tightly. "It's going to be perfect between us. I promise you; nothing will ever compare. This is where we belong, and I can't wait to finally make you mine in every way."
"I've always been yours, but this will be the moment we make it real. I want to give you all of me." I think that sounds a bit sappy, but he seems to like it by how tightly he hugs me.
Cruz's weight shifts forward with a jolt and I'm crushed against the locker until he quickly rights himself and spins around with his body coiled to strike.
I peek over his shoulder and see Byron's taunting face laughing at us. "Get a room already. You guys are making the lockers blush." The few jerks that are with him start laughing at that.
Cruz tenses and I know he is volatile enough to say something harsh if he thinks Byron is being disrespectful to me, so I step around from behind him and face my brother. "Coming from the reigning king of sluts, I'd think you would be applauding us."
The look in Byron's eyes turns devilish. "Ah, sister, your jealousy is showing. Do you want the title for yourself now?"
This is familiar, but there are no longer the hateful feelings behind the banter. I smirk and tell him in a bored voice, "If I were to wear a crown, I'm sure I don't want one that's carrying so many diseases."
He chuckles, even though we have parts to play in public and are still feeding the students their familiar byplays of our previous hate for each other. "And would that crown be covered in dirt and stinking of garbage? Have you escalated your status from Dirt Princess to Dirt Queen?"
Cruz spins around and gives me a disbelieving look. He knows how Byron and I still pretend to barely tolerate each other at school, but I can tell he is not enjoying the names I'm being called since he knows they're true. I shake my head at him to stay out of it and turn back to Byron and see the regret flash across his face. I decide to end this before one of us gets hurt. "I have better things to do with my time. If you'll excuse us, brother, I'll just take my dirt and leave."
"But you haven't gotten your books yet, Queen of Dirt." A snide voice says from further down the hall.
Tisha is leaning against some lockers with her posse of leering lemmings. The group of design-worshipping whores, benignly smile in my direction, enjoying what they believe is a humiliating moment for me.
It's surely becoming that way.
I thought I was given a reprieve from Tisha's evil focus, but I guess the hiatus is over. I play it cool and shrug my shoulders, turning around to open my locker and grab the books I would have forgotten in my haste to escape.
The moment my locker opens a crack, I know something is wrong. There is a heavy weight against the other side and when I open it further, I find out why as mounds of dirt and garbage spew from the confines they were trapped in. Everything inside my locker is covered in it and the excess is now piling on the ground at my feet.
A chorus of tinkling laughter floats down the hall and loud hoots and cheers erupt from behind me where Byron's asshole friends are snickering in enthusiastic cheering and applause for the devious stunt.
I'm frozen to the spot in shocked horror at the scene before me, but something begins to stretch and come alive beneath my skin that's new and a bit frightening in its intensity.
I've never been this angry.
Cruz reaches for me, but my blind fury has one focus and I brush his hand away while I spin and direct all my hatred at the one person, I know is responsible for this.
Tisha doesn't even acknowledge me, being too busy accepting congratulations from her adoring fans.
I see red.
My body feels like it's been shot from a bow with how fast I move. Before either of us know what my intentions are, my first has flown and is connecting with her cheek. A shocked gasp echoes around me from one of her friends, but I don't stop to see which one. With a living beast inside me, I tackle her to the ground before she recovers and let my fists fly.
I don't get many shots in before I'm hauled off her dazed and bloody body. I'm screaming obscenities like a maniac and trying to free myself from the strong arms that have me pinned against a hard chest.
I see Byron run past me and drop down to check on Tisha, who is trying to get to her feet. He looks back at me over his shoulder and his eyes widen at what he sees on my face. "Cameron, get her the fuck out of here."
I'm dragged back, but I'm still fighting and screaming to be let go so I can finish her. With reflexes and moves that must have been perfected on the football field, I'm released, spun, and thrown over a shoulder. An arm secures me in place and then he's racing in the opposite direction down the hall. Faces blur as we pass, but the expressions are all the same; a mixture of shock and awe.
I hear the slam of his hand against a door, then fresh air and sunlight surround us as he increases his speed and heads in the direction of the bleachers. Once we are safely out of sight and hidden under the metal structure, he releases my legs and slides me down his body, steadying me when my feet hit the ground.
He takes my shoulders and gets down into my face and simply says, "Breathe."
I hadn't realized how shallow my breaths were until he said that. My heart is racing like a jet engine and I feel like I could faint. I close my eyes, so I don't have to see the concern in his and try to take at least one normal breath. After several attempts, I manage to take one successful gulp of air. I take another and feel my limbs begin to shake. Cruz gathers me in his arms and carries me down to an area where he lowers us and holds me in his arms while I crash from the adrenaline and begin to fall apart.
I've never hit another person in my life. I've never been so mad that rational thought left me with nothing but animal instincts and corrosive emotions guiding my actions. Shame and disgust leave a nasty taste in my mouth. Yes, the stunt she pulled was awful, but it didn't warrant the actions that followed. I've always prided myself on being above such childish antics and always remaining cool on the surface and not bowing to their expectations
. I threw it all away in one desperate moment. I can't imagine what people will think and say about me now. I lowered myself to their level and proved to them that I am no better than they are.
Self-hatred is an ugly thing.
With nothing left to do, I collapse against Cruz's chest and cry.
A Secret Revealed
The school was pretty forgiving about the incident, considering I've never been in trouble before and am an academic student. Victor's name and influence didn't hurt either. They sent me home for the day, but not as a suspension. They also sent Tisha home without suspension and her father is pushing for the school to lean heavily on Victor to cover the costs for her recovery. Whatever! She had a black eye and cheek. Maybe a split lip. There's nothing that warrants serious recovery time or medical costs. Victor arranged a meeting with her father to settle the matter. I don't even want to imagine how that is going. He's there now and I'm pacing my room worried about what the consequences of my actions will bring. He never said one word since he collected me from school and deposited me here at the house.
That was hours ago.
Cruz had been texting me from school between classes and called when he was on his way home. He offered to come and be with me, but I have no idea what Victor will be like when he gets back, so I don't want to cause greater waves by having Cruz here. I imagine the water will be choppy enough.
My cell phone rings in my hand and I glance down to see Steph's name flashing on the screen. Knowing there's no escaping her, I answer with a cautious, "Hey."
She jumps in immediately. "Holy shit! You are the talk of the school. I'm a little jealous over your sudden celebrity status and pissed that I missed the show. Who knew you kept a tiger leashed inside that kitten package?"
I cringe at that. I don't want to be known as a brawler. I've tried so hard to rise above the stereotype they have labeled me, and all the negative assumptions these kids have about those who live on the other side of the tracks. "It was one incident. I don't even know how it happened. It was like another person took over my body. Please tell me this will blow over and I don't have to hide when I go back to school tomorrow?"
"Hide? Why would you do that? You're the shit right now. Everyone wants to shake your hand for taking that bitch down. Even after I rumbled with her, no one put me on a pedestal the way they have with you. It's like some epic movie where the underdog rises to the top. You need to embrace this high while it lasts."
She doesn't understand. "I don't want to be in the spotlight, Steph. I certainly don't want to be in it for something like this. I feel horrible for what I did. That's not me. Well, that's not who I want to be. I was happy being a nobody."
She scoffs at that. "Pfft. You were never a nobody, Jo. You just never cared or noticed. Girls have been jealous of you for years because of your looks and who your family is. Guys have been spanking their meat to your image since freshman year, and I'm pretty sure some teachers have to."
I screw up my face and shake my head. "Eew. That's disgusting and not even close to being true."
She sighs into the phone. "I love you, but you are so clueless. I hoped that having a boyfriend would finally open your eyes to your true worth, but it seems I need to have a little chat with your other half. He needs to step up his game. Has he even made it past first base yet?"
I gasp at what she just had the balls to ask. "Steph! That's not something I'm discussing with you."
"Gimme a break, Prudence. I've shared every detail of my sordid encounters with you."
"I never asked you to. Actually, I begged you to stop when you got too graphic." I can't believe she wants details. On second thought, yeah, I can believe it. Steph is a pervert.
I hear her huffing on the other end. "Please. That's what friends do. I share because I care."
I snort at that. "Really? You should put that on a shirt." I take a moment to gather myself and give her some of the honesty she has always given me. "We haven't gone beyond some groping through our clothes. I've tried to encourage him, but he always stops before it goes further."
"Do I detect some sexual frustration from my puritan friend?" She snickers, then continues in a more serious tone. "That's some herculean restraint on his part. I can't imagine it's been easy on him. Is the whole virginity issue stopping him?"
This time it's my turn to sigh. "I think that's part of it. Honestly, I'm ready to jump his bones." I bite my lip and then confide in her what we have planned. "Actually, he wants to get a room for the night of Winter Formal. It's finally going to happen."
She squeals in my ear and I have to pull my phone away or risk hearing damage. Once she's done, I place it back in time to hear her say, "About fucking time! And just so you know, I expect ALL the details. I want to know inches, girth, stamina, whether you orgasm - wait, that's a given with someone as hot as Cruz and how he moves on the field - and every dirty detail about how he fucks. I bet he's a stallion between the sheets. You're a lucky bitch. So, does that mean he asked you to Formal? Are we doing this? I can't wait to see the look on Tisha's face when CruJo are crowned king and queen."
There's so much wrong with everything she just said, but one thing stops me short. "CruJo? What the hell is that?"
She laughs and says, "The name I gave you guys. You know, like all famous celebrity couples who have a combined name to label their awesomeness? After you set loose your inner bitch today, I figured it was fitting for your new image. You guys are the hottest couple in our school and need a name worthy of your elevated status."
I sputter and have trouble stringing any words together. "W-what? That name makes me think of a rabid dog."
"Exactly. Pretty fitting, don't ya think? You attacked Tisha like one, after all."
I take a breath to calm down. Nothing I say will derail her from the train she is riding fast and furiously down a track I don't want to be on. "As my friend, I'm begging you to please let this fight go. I don't want to be remembered in that school for one moment of insanity. I would be quite happy if no one remembers me at all."
She's quiet on the other end for a moment, then says, "Okay. I know you better than anyone and I know you don't like the attention. You really are a different breed than us. Don't take this the wrong way, but is that a wrong-side-of-the-tracks thing, or just a Jolene thing?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's a bit of both. All I know is that I don't want the attention aimed at me because I stooped to their level."
"I get it, but I don't think it will go away so soon. I think you'd also be surprised how many people were pissed at what she did to you. You may have walked the halls with your head down these last four years, but everyone likes you and they were offended on your behalf. Not all of us rich kids are assholes, and most of us see you for who you are, not where you came from."
A tear escapes my eye and trickles down my cheek. That is probably the nicest thing Steph has ever said to me and she can't know how much those words mean. Yeah, she probably does. I'm one of the few people who knows the hidden depths she has but tries to hide behind a wild exterior.
I clear my throat and tell her honestly, "I love you, Steph. You're the best thing to happen to me since I came here."
"Shut up, Jo. I don't do tears and you're gonna make me cry. Plus, you got that wrong. You're the best thing to come into my life. Now, let's change the subject before this turns into a Hallmark moment. Let's talk more about Cruz's cock and what you plan to do with it. Maybe you can give it a warm-up this weekend for Thanksgiving. Nothing says thanks like a hand-job. Plus, you'll get an early viewing and know just how much stretching you need before the invasion."
Just like that, she has me giggling and forgetting about my problems and the weight on my shoulders.
I couldn't have wished for a better friend.
The slam of the front door echoes through the mansion like an explosion. Unlike an explosion, I can't hide from the fallout. Victor is obviously home, and my reckoning has arrived.
"Jolene," he bellows up the
stairs and all the small hairs on the back of my neck rise with the shivers his voice invokes.
Like ripping off a Band-Aid, it's better if I do this quickly. Prolonging the outcome will only make things worse for me, so I leave my room and head for the stairs. As soon as I reach the landing and catch a glimpse of Victor's face, I know he's fit to fight the devil. Even from here, I can see how red his face is, and the look he aims in my direction almost causes my legs to carry me in the opposite direction.
"Don't make me come up and get you," he growls in a menacing tone. I don't know how I convince my feet to move, but somehow, I begin the slow descent toward my doomed fate.
I'm not even at the bottom when he lunges up the last few steps and gets right in my face. "You've seen the last of that bastard you've been cock-teasing. Whatever he claimed you meant to him was a fucking lie, and if I catch him sniffing around you after today, I'll make him wish he'd never laid eyes on you. Do I make myself clear?"
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