What the hell is he talking about? My mouth opens and closes because I can't make sense of what he just said, least of all form a reply. I manage to sputter out a choked, "Why? What happened?"
He seems to take great satisfaction in watching my reaction to his words and a slight smirk lifts his lips as he leans back slightly, but it doesn't ease the anger burning in his eyes. "I've had a very enlightened discussion with your schoolmate and her father. It has been brought to my attention that the source of all these problems at school is due to one, Cruz Cameron. He courted Miss. Lawrence when he first arrived at the school, then forced himself on her when she refused his aggressive advances. When she confronted him at school about this, he got physical with her. She was only concerned for your well-being when she saw he was pursuing you next. Apparently, one of your friends got involved in this altercation as well, along with my own son - who never said a word about it to me. Then today, when Cruz had you pinned suggestively against your locker, she only meant to warn you and you attacked her. While she was injured on the floor, he hauled you off her and snuck away to continue his violation outside of the school. So, you tell me what I'm supposed to think or how I'm going to protect my daughter?" He gets right back in my face and yells, "What the fuck do you have to say for yourself?"
Oh. My. God.
How can he honestly believe all those lies? I can't believe Tisha fabricated all that. Didn't her father see the lies falling from his daughter's lips? He knows exactly what happened with Tisha and Steph. The principal told Victor about the dirt and garbage in my locker, so how did that become a kindly distraction or warning about Cruz? What Twilight Zone have I just entered?
My whole body is shaking from a combination of shock and anger. How dare she? How. Dare. She? "Those are all lies! She has been bullying me since freshman year and this has nothing to do with Cruz. She's a lying witch and none of that is true."
"Really? She wasn't intimate with your boyfriend in any way? He didn't try to stop her from telling everyone what he did to her? You didn't attack her unprovoked and then allow that boy to take you away from the consequences so you could be alone with him?" His hand snaps out and grabs a fistful of my hair, bringing me even closer to his face. He leans down and sniffs my hair then whispers in my ear, "Does purity have a smell, I wonder? Does your scent change when you become a woman? Did he force himself on you, or did you spread your pretty thighs as easily as your mother did for his father? Ironic, isn't it? Like mother, like daughter and like father, like son. I wanted your mother and made sure that cocksucker never had her, just like I'll do the same for you and his spawn. He'll never get a chance to touch you again."
I shove against his chest with a roar, and when he doesn't budge my rage and pain overwhelms my common sense and I start screaming and slapping at the monster looming before me. He has taken everything from me and cost me the life I should have had. I won't let him take another thing from me, even if I have to destroy myself in the process.
All my years of anguish, despair, and hatred are pouring out of me through my hands and the screams of agony that are ripping from the center of my soul. I tell him how much I hate him and how I wish he was the one that died instead of my mother. I tell him that I don't care about that stupid piece of paper and that he can't have me because I'll run away. I'm screaming every fantasy I've had about his demise and my freedom, and how I want to see him burn in hell. It feels so good to finally say every hateful thing I've ever thought about him.
I know it's the worst mistake of my life, the moment he wrestles me to the stairs and pins me beneath his heaving body.
He grabs both my arms and pins them above my head, then traps my legs between his own. He pushes all his weight down on me and the stairs dig painfully against my spine. His face is flushed, and his eyes are wild, but there's a twisted delight to his features like he's enjoying this. It makes me sick, but not as much as the evidence of his pleasure throbbing against my stomach. Bile tickles the back of my throat and tears blur my vision.
He leans down and I don't miss the victorious glee in his eyes. "Give me your hate, your poison, your threats, and every black piece of your heart. I'll devour it all with relish and still own you. There's nowhere you can go that I won't find you. Don't you know that the chase is almost as sweet as the surrender? And Jolene, you will surrender and submit to me. Let me tell you a little secret. I know you'll stay by my side and do everything I say because I have the means to ruin all you hold dear. Did you never wonder how I kept your mother in my bed while she pined for another man?" My eyes widen at the admission he knew my mom loved Jake. "Ah, I see you know where her traitorous heart lay. Did she tell you herself? Even after all I gave her and all I did for her; she went to the grave loving that bastard."
"You blackmailed her into leaving him and staying with you! She would never have chosen you on her own. You're a pathetic man who lives a pathetic life. There is nothing redeeming about you or the way you live. You're a monster and deserve however she made you feel. You stole us from our life and forced us to stay in yours." I spit at him in a voice filled with venom.
He smiles at me. The asshole smiles at me! "Did she tell you how I made that happen? How I discovered her little romance and did some digging into their shared past? That I learned about the circumstances around her lover's death and that of the woman she used to call a friend? The police report claimed the brakes failed from unknown causes. It's pretty convenient that the man she secretly wanted is a mechanic, don't you think? It's not too much of a stretch to believe they plotted to have him tamper with the brakes, right? An accidental death to rid them of the two people standing in the way of them being together. Quite the story and any newspaper would salivate to scoop it up if someone were to deliver it to them."
My whole body is numb with the implications. I can't even wrap my head around it, but I still ask, "Why?"
"Simple, really. I wanted your mother and used my resources to make that happen. I told her I would leak that story to the press and make sure Jake Cameron lost his mechanic's license and was forced to leave. The scandal would haunt her for the rest of her life and the man she loved would be ruined. If she agreed to come with me, I promised to leave him alone and make sure that story never saw the light of day." His eyes dance delightfully at the horror which must be evident in mine.
All this time my poor mother had been protecting Jake, and he never knew it. She sacrificed everything to keep him safe. I can't imagine the nightmare her life became when she was forced to leave all she loved behind and bring a daughter who blamed her for it into this prison. God, I hate myself so much at this moment, and my face crumples at all she must have suffered and endured while I only added to it by being a selfish brat. Tears are pouring from my eyes and the pain of these truths are ripping my chest apart with the agony of it all.
Victor releases one of my hands and strokes my hair. "Shh, it's all over now. She made her choice, just as you'll make yours. You see, I always win. I'll offer you the same deal as I made her; asking you to stay with me in exchange for keeping that story buried. I know you wouldn't want anything to hurt your precious Cruz's father because of a scandal from the past, right? Plus, I'm sure I don't have to tell you how serious rape charges can be and what that will do to someone's future. The Lawrence girl is more than willing to file those charges with her father's weight behind them, and then my own claims to back them up. You're a smart girl and I know you'll make the right decision. We can toast to it over Thanksgiving dinner. I have much to be thankful for this year."
I close my eyes as the reality of my hell sets in. Victor holds all the cards and always has. I was never going to be free, just like my mother. The truth of how inevitable my fate has become closes around me.
I've finally discovered the secret that tore my world apart all those years ago, and now that same secret is ripping my world apart again.
He leans forward and plants a kiss against my forehead, even as I twist away from him. "I want y
ou to know that you're not a replacement for your mother. You've already come to mean so much more. If you let me, I'll give you the world. All I want is for you to warm my bed and swear loyalty to me alone. Is that so much to ask? You can still have your life during the day, but your nights will belong to me. You just need to accept that you've always been mine, and you always will be."
That will never happen. I don't know how, but I swear that I will die before that ever happens.
I have one ace up my sleeve that Victor doesn't know about. I just need to figure out how I can play it and when.
This time, Victor won't win.
"Please let me go," I say between clenched teeth.
He freezes above me, then shifts his weight and levers himself up and off. Once he's back on his feet, he offers me his hand, but I refuse it. I glare at him as I gingerly lift my aching body off the stairs, wincing from the pain in my back. I remain sitting and lower my gaze to his feet.
"You realize," he says in a smooth voice, "it doesn't have to be this way. I'd prefer if we can be amicable about this. Has your life here been that bad? Have I not given you everything you've ever wanted and tried my best to make you happy here?"
I look up at him with wide eyes and a feeling of bewilderment and indignation. How can he be so delusional? Does he really think that? After everything he just told me and threatened me with? How does being a tyrant dictator equate this benevolent caregiver in his mind? Yes, he’s provided for me, but not out of any genuine kindness. He's never cared about my happiness in the past, just how I reflect his image in public and what my presence here has done for his campaign in winning the hearts of families within his inner circle. I look at him, really look at him. Is it possible he's mentally unstable and just hides it well? That's the only logical explanation for his behavior and state of mind.
Testing the waters, I ask, "If that's true, why are you blackmailing me and forcing me to stay here against my will?"
He makes a sound of disgust in the hack of his throat and spins away. When he reaches the center of the foyer, he turns back around. He pins me with his intense gaze and says, "I'm not a man that leads a conventional life beyond these walls, but that doesn't mean I don't want a conventional home. I don't trust people, so how else am I to secure the people I want in my life besides using unconventional methods? The only way to keep people securely in your pocket is through fear. Anything less than that, and you give them hope. Hope will always lead to recklessness and greed. I won't hand anyone close to me the tools in which to betray me."
He can't be serious? Doesn't he see that he's inspiring exactly that? If you back an animal into a corner and give him no avenue of escape, they will always turn on you, no matter how loyal. He's insane if he honestly believes what he's saying. What kind of a life has poor Byron known under this man's roof his whole life? Does he not love his son at all, but only sees him as a pawn to be used in his games of power and control?
He must read the look on my face. "You don't agree? Let me ask you this: If I were to ask you to stay with me, and consider the fact that I have groomed you for this role, would you agree to it on your own? Or would you run to the arms of a boy you don't really know and give him the chance to betray you? Would you trade a future offered to you on a silver platter, for one of uncertainty with no guarantees?" He smirks at me. "We both know the answer to that. I tried to give your mother the time and space she needed to accept me on her own terms, but she stubbornly refused. I never wanted her love. That is a weak and useless emotion. I did expect her loyalty, but isn't loving another a form of betrayal? I warned her to close her heart. I was content to have her body, just as I will be with you. She could have been happy here, but her traitorous emotions caused her only pain, and that sin does not lie at my feet. So, as long as I believe you have any feelings for that boy, I won't be making the same mistakes with you as I did with your mother."
Panic grips my heart and I quickly stand from the stairs and take a step toward him but stop myself when I see the frost that has entered his eyes. "What does that mean? What are you going to do?"
"Whatever I have to do to keep history from repeating itself. I won't have another Hamilton pining for a Cameron." He takes a calculated step toward me and looks directly into my eyes when he says, "If my threat to ruin their reputations isn't enough to persuade you, then you aren't afraid enough. Fear will bring you to me. I want your guarantee on this and your promise to cut all ties with the boy. I expect your answer by the weekend."
With that, he turns and walks briskly down the hall, disappearing from my view when he enters his office and shuts the door.
I turn and race up the stairs to the safety of my room. I only have a few days to figure out a way to save everyone I love and hopefully myself in the process.
He's wrong about fear. Fear makes people desperate, and that can be even more dangerous.
Making Plans and Doing Deeds
I guess I'm grounded.
I haven't been allowed out after I get home from school and I'm missing Cruz like crazy. I don't care what Victor threatens me with; I need to see him. I have a plan, but I want to tell Cruz about everything in person. As far as he knows, my punishment is being grounded and I can't be seen with him at school. He was not happy about that and I had to make up a lie and tell him that the school is watching us all after the fight, and I don't want it to hurt his scholarship. Plausible, right?
Steph wasn't exaggerating about the attention I've gained at school. Everyone wants to talk to me now and I've even been asked to parties I never would have been invited to before. CruJo has spread and taken on a life of its own. Steph has been loving it and accepting all the credit. She said she feels like a celebrity handler. She lives in the spotlight. She can have it. I'm quite happy to stand in the shadows while she basks in the glow.
I told her about what Tisha and her dad said to Victor. I'm pretty sure the three of them hatched those lies together. Steph is beyond furious and swears she has the ultimate revenge planned for Formal. I'm not sure if I will still be allowed to go. I've also been thinking about the whole dress proposal. While sweet and romantic, I really like the idea of shopping for my own dress and all the excitement and fun that will entail. I've had a man choose my dresses for long enough, and even though Cruz is not Victor, it still feels like a choice being denied to me. I would much rather surprise Cruz and knock his socks off with something I chose for him. I also want Steph to help me pick out what to wear under the dress for what's to come after.
I told Steph that Victor might take the grounding too far and try to ban me from attending the Formal. She snorted and told me not to be a baby. She said she hasn't been sneaking out of the house for years and lying to her parents without learning a few tricks. I asked her what I would do if Victor tries to enforce a curfew, and again, she told me not to worry about it.
I've placed all my trust in her for that night and hope it doesn't backfire on me.
Byron and I are lounging in the basement, watching some insane show where people do stupid things and then post it on YouTube. Byron loves this type of stuff, but I'm not a fan.
I'm spinning my cell phone on my knee when his hand comes down and stops me. I look up at his face and he scowls. "Can you not do that?"
"Sorry," I mumble and slide my phone back to my lap.
He clicks the remote and pauses the show. Now he faces me fully and gives me his full attention. "I know you're bummed about being grounded, but it could have been worse. Also, in case I haven't told you, I've never been more proud to be your brother than when you Hulked-out on Tisha. Not only was it fucking awesome, but I've finally seen your balls. I knew you had some, but I didn't expect them to be so big. Way to hang 'em out there, sis."
"I don't know whether to thank you or slap you for being so gross," I say while scrunching up my nose.
He buffs his nails on his chest and beams a smile full of pride at me. "That's my specialty. It drives women insane."
I laugh at
that. "Only you would take that as a compliment." I stop laughing and turn to face him fully too. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yes, that tingly feeling you get when you're around Cameron is completely normal, my little flower. Just let him slide between your petals and make it feel better." He smirks and winks at me.
I choke on laughter and slap his chest. "That's not what I was going to ask you, pervert! I still can't believe we can even joke like this sometimes; you know?"
His face loses its humor, and he grabs my hand. "Me too. It should have always been this way and I can't tell you enough how sorry I am."
A lump forms in my throat, but I swallow it down. "Actually, if you still mean that, I need your help."
"I do and I'll help you with whatever you want."
I take a breath and prepare to tell him my plan, but first I need to ask him something. "How much do you hate your father and want him to suffer for all he's done?"
An evil smile stretches across his lips. It's enough like Victor's that a chill goes down my spine. I remind myself that he's not his father's son and tell him what I need and how I plan on bringing his father down.
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