by Jack Handey
Thanks to all the people at the Andrew Wylie Agency, including the eponymous (a word I never thought I’d be able to use) Andrew, Jin Auh, Jackie Ko, and Angelin Borsics.
Cheryl Weatherby, thanks for all your hard work typing the manuscript. Appreciation also to Senior Production Editor Kevin MacDonald and the Hyperion copyeditors for catching all my misteaks.
I am withholding thanks to my cats Romero, Little Girl, and Preston. Not only have they not been particularly helpful in the writing of this book, they usually lay right on top of something I am reading or step on the computer keys.
No amount of thanks is withheld for my wife and editor, Marta Chavez Handey. Her help and support on this book, and all the pieces in it, has been invaluable. Thanks, Patita!
About the Author
Jack Handey is the author of the bestselling Deep Thoughts series of books. He was a staff writer for Saturday Night Live, and has won two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild of America Award. His humor pieces have appeare in the New Yorker, Outside, Playboy, National Lampoon, Punch, and other publications. He lives in Santa Fe, NM, with his wife, dog, and cats. Some people believe that Jack Handey is a made-up name of an imaginary person, and idea that Handey is trying to promote amongst his creditors.
ALSO BY JACK HANDEY
Deep Thoughts
Deeper Thoughts
Deepest Thoughts
The Lost Deep Thoughts
Fuzzy Memories
* This is not true.
Copyright
WHAT I’D SAY TO THE MARTIANS. Copyright © 2008 by Toonces Productions, Inc. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Hyperion e-books.
Microsoft Reader March 2008 ISBN 9781401395827
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