My heart stops, the missing beats consuming me.
Is that all I had to do to keep him close? Risk my safety?
I bottle a laugh in my tightening chest. I should’ve known.
“I’ll look after her.” Hunter crosses his arms over his chest. “You need to cut and run. As soon as Torian finds out, you’re dead. Or worse.”
“Who says he needs to find out anything?” Sarah counters. “We have to keep this to ourselves for now. How do we even know he’s not involved?”
“We know,” Hunter and I say in unison.
“Fine.” She huffs. “You have unwavering faith in his innocence. But you need to realize Torian is going to want to take over as soon as he finds out. When that happens, we won’t have a say in the outcome. And he sure as hell won’t let his sister be involved.”
The truth in her words is a betraying punishment.
I don’t want her to be right. Yet she is.
“I agree,” Sebastian murmurs. “You’ve said it yourself, Keira, there’s different rules when it comes to dealing with family. If he learns the truth, it’s only going to make this situation more complicated. And your father will never be punished accordingly.”
He’s right, too.
The severe frown pulling at Hunter’s brow says he agrees.
“Okay.” I nod. “So I won’t tell him.” Despite the guilt already eating away at my stomach.
“Are you capable of keeping something this big from him?” Sarah asks.
I glare at her. “I’m not a child. I’ve kept things from him before.”
She holds up her hands in surrender. “I wasn’t being a bitch this time. I was only asking if it’s something you think you’re capable of. I know you two are close, even though you lead people to believe otherwise.”
The thinly veiled apology means nothing to me. Not when all her knives still linger in my back.
“She’s capable.” Sebastian grabs my hand in my lap, our fingers twining beneath the table. “You’ve got no idea what she’s kept from her brother.”
I plotted the murder of my uncle and kept it to myself. Planning the demise of my father should be no different.
It should.
Only it already feels a million times worse.
“Keeping Cole out of this is obviously ideal, but how the fuck do we get Luther back in the country without him?” Hunter pushes from the wall and begins to pace. “No, Keira, but your old man hasn’t given a shit about you for years. He’s not going to drop everything and come running just because you ask him to.”
I steel myself against the brutal truth—my father doesn’t care. He never did. Not when I was a child. Not when I was a vulnerable teen. And definitely not now. “I know a way.”
I know possibly the one and only driving force to get my father back in the country.
“Which is?” Sarah asks.
“I’ll finish what I started weeks ago.”
Sebastian’s hand falls limp in my lap. He knows what I’m about to say, and there’s no comforting hold to reassure me I’m making the right decision.
“I’m going to kill my uncle.” I forge through the judgmental silence. “My father will return for the funeral. There’s no way he’d miss it, despite the authorities breathing down his neck.”
The quiet continues, the thickness expanding as all eyes turn to me.
“Finish what you started?” Hunter asks. “You’re the one who ran down Richard?”
This time Sebastian doesn’t answer the hard question for me. He straightens, his hand retreating.
“That’s a story for another day.” I swallow over the scratch in my throat. “Right now, we need to focus on the future, not the past.”
Nobody fills the silence. The tension thickens, their judgment weighing down on me.
“You’re not going anywhere near Richard,” Sebastian mutters. “I’ll take care of him.”
No, he won’t. But that’s a conversation for later, too.
“What’s this all about?” Sarah scrutinizes me. “Is there something else we need to know?”
“Only that I’m well aware of what my father and uncle are capable of. I’m not going to be lenient on either of them.”
Her chin slowly rises, her lips parting as understanding begins to flicker to the surface.
I don’t want her to delve into my past. I don’t want her to even contemplate what I’ve been through. “We need to stop moving in circles and make a goddamn plan.” I release a huff of frustration. “All any of you have done so far is poke at everything I say.”
There’s more silence. More judgment, too.
“What’s the end game here, Keira?” Sebastian reclaims my hand, the touch gentle. “Are you talking about putting Luther in prison or…” He looks at me, our eyes meeting across an emotional battlefield.
There’s a wealth of connection between us. A hidden conversation where he relays his protection and strength while I struggle not to confess my fear.
“No,” I whisper. “Prison isn’t an option. My father has the means to buy the best lawyers. Hell, he could grease the palms of an entire jury. Or pay a team to help him escape whatever cell they put him in.” The overbearing weight of my father’s power presses down on me. “He has men everywhere. There’s nobody who can withstand his threats or influence.”
“Which means?” Hunter asks.
I shuffle my ass back in my seat and sit at my full height. I raise my chin, straighten my shoulders, and become the warrior woman I’ve always considered myself to be. I think of my past. I contemplate Stella’s future. I picture all those helpless, fractured women. Then I resign myself to the only outcome possible. “Death is the solution. For both of them.”
Relief shadows my statement, but the underlying pain lingers.
He’s my dad, and I’m planning his murder.
He was my mother’s one and only love, and I vow to send him to his grave.
“First, I’ll take care of my uncle.” I clear my throat to dislodge the emotion roughening my words. “Then when my father returns for the funeral, we end this.”
“I said I’d deal with Richard,” Sebastian reaffirms. “Don’t even think about going near him. I’m not letting you get caught up in that again.”
“Caught up in what?” Sarah asks.
“I want to do this,” I demand. “I need to be the one who ends his life. I won’t fail this time.”
“You won’t get a chance.” He pushes from the table and stalks for the fridge, grabbing four cans of beer before returning to place them among the snacks.
He’s still trying to protect me, that much is clear, but I won’t let him this time. Not when it comes to Richard. “I’m capable, Sebastian.”
“Really?” The question is an accusation. “There’s a reason you didn’t go ahead with the hit in the first place. Killing someone isn’t a crime you want on your conscience.”
“Excuse me.” I shove from my chair. “That wasn’t the reason, and you know it. I told you I didn’t follow through because I didn’t want to make my family vulnerable.”
“Hold up.” Sarah flattens her hands on the table. “So, you did run Richard down?”
Sebastian’s jaw ticks, his nostrils flaring. He’s beautiful. An exquisite show of masculine dominance. “Do you think you’ll be helping your family’s situation when your dad and Richard are dead and you’re in prison? You don’t want to spend the rest of your life behind bars.”
“And you do?” I quip.
He doesn’t snap at my ridicule. Instead, he cracks a can of beer and takes a long pull. “We’re not arguing over this.”
“You’re right.” I shove my chair back into place and stalk around the table. “We’re not.”
“Why don’t we take a break?” Sarah glances between us. Back and forth. Over and over. “We can discuss this later.”
“There’s no need. Richard is mine to deal with.” I continue toward the back door. “I’ll never forgive anyone who gets in
my way.”
I pull the porch door wide, escape outside, then slam the wood shut behind me. The bang reverberates through my bones, shaking my soul. The vibration spurs me to move faster, to skitter down the steps and stride toward the end of the yard.
I have to get out of here.
To go home.
More than anything, I want to speak to my siblings. I need to hear a familiar voice. A calming, strengthening voice that won’t have me questioning my every breath.
I keep pounding out the distance, not stopping when I reach the waist-high fence. I climb over the metal and keep walking along the dirt car track leading around the paddock, the pebbles and stones tormenting my feet.
It doesn’t take long for my anger to dissipate and for regret to take its place.
I get it. Sebastian wants to protect me. He always wants to protect me. It’s what endeared me to him in the first place. I can’t grow to hate it now. I just need to make him understand.
I have to do this.
And yes, maybe he’s right. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough before, and I couldn’t handle a hit marring my conscience. But things have changed.
I want Richard’s death on my hands.
I need to be strong enough to make him pay, not only for his recent transgressions, but those he made against me in the past.
I don’t stop until I’m half a mile from the house, the early afternoon sun beating down on me as an all-consuming hollowness creeps inside my chest. I haven’t felt alone since before the shooting. It’s been days with Sebastian within reach and readily accessible to keep me stable.
I need to learn to function without him.
Just because he’s staying by my side for now doesn’t mean he can for long. Cole will learn the truth eventually. The time will come when the man I adore is wrenched from my heart.
A scuffle of noise sounds behind me, inspiring hope.
It’s him. I know it is. He’s here to apologize. To make things right. And I want nothing more than to run to him and claim the warmth.
I turn, my eyes gentle in anticipation for the remorse I expect to see. But he’s not the person behind me. I’m bitterly disappointed at the sight of Sarah a few feet away, her feet bare, the bottom of her jeans covered in red dirt as she navigates the stones in the path toward me.
“What are you doing out here?” I mutter.
Her ankle rolls, and she rights herself with a curse. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes, you do. I can leave you alone if you like. But I think you’d prefer to watch me suffer through an uncomfortable apology.”
Jesus Christ. Sebastian told her. The pity is right there, written all over her face.
“I don’t want an apology.” I start toward her, retracing my steps toward the house.
I don’t want anything from her. Not now. Not anymore.
“Then tell me what to do to make this better.” She pauses in place and waits until I reach her side. “How do I fix this?”
“You don’t. This is as good as it gets.” I stride by her, and she hustles to follow.
“Despite me being a total dick, we’re friends, Keira. I can make it up to you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We’re not friends. We never were. We couldn’t have been if you were so eager to burn me at the stake.”
She cringes. “I deserve that.”
She deserves more. Much more.
“I’m sorry.” Her words are pained. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I didn’t realize. I honestly had no clue. And I hate myself for it.”
“Sebastian had no right to tell you.” I keep stalking away, the distance between me and the house seeming to grow further and further with each breath.
“He didn’t say a word. I’m working on assumptions at this point and hoping my imagination is on overdrive.”
“Your original assumptions about me were entirely off base. Why would this be any different?”
“Will you tell me?”
I try not to fracture from the regret in her voice.
She doesn’t deserve my sympathy.
Goddamn it, she doesn’t deserve anything from me. “I’ll pass.”
I lengthen my stride, increasing the pace of my escape. She doesn’t try to keep up. I hear her fall back, the scuffle of rocks drifting behind as I approach the house yard.
I don’t stop until my hand is on the fence.
“Fuck.” Her curse splits the air.
I pause and glance over my shoulder, finding her looking at something shiny poking from the bottom of her foot.
“Motherfucker.” She pulls out a sharp spike of glass and throws it into the long grass beside the trail.
I bite back a reply. I shouldn’t care if she’s hurt. I swear I don’t despite the pang beneath my ribs that demands I help.
She limps forward. One step. Two.
Damn it.
“Are you okay?” I mutter.
“Yeah. I’d call this karma.”
“I guess.” I shrug. “If Karma turned into a lenient little bitch.”
She shoots me a grin.
It’s too easy. After what she put me through, the slide back into friendship needs to be harder.
I turn away in rejection and raise my leg to climb over the fence.
“Keira, wait.”
I sigh, my shoulders slumping as I reluctantly face her hobbling toward me.
“I fucked up. Big time.” Her usual expression of pride-filled strength becomes a softened plea for understanding. “But I’m begging you, is there any way I can make this up to you?”
I can’t hold her focus. Not when she’s efficiently wearing me down with the sincerity in her expression. I lower my gaze, over the wrinkles in her shirt, then further to the rectangular bulge in her jeans pocket.
I stop. Stare.
Maybe there is something she can do.
“Is that a cell?” I look her in the eye. “Let me call Cole.”
She blinks, once, twice, her lips parting on silent words.
“That’s how you make this up to me, Sarah. You give me that cell in your pocket and leave me alone to call my brother.”
“Decker doesn’t want you contacting him yet.”
“I’m well aware of what Decker wants.”
She glances toward the house, her forehead wrinkled from an internal battle I can practically hear. “They’re going to kill me.”
“That’s a small price to pay.”
She sighs and presses her lips tight as she bridges the space between us in a few limped steps and hands over the device. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I don’t. Not at all. “I’ll figure it out.” I grab the cell and continue to hold her stare. “You can go inside now.”
She doesn’t budge. For a few brief seconds she holds my gaze, wordlessly pleading with me to change my mind.
“Go.”
She huffs out a breath and throws her leg over the fence.
I wait for her to walk across the lawn, up the stairs to the porch, then into the house. Then my fingers are frantically flying over the cell screen, dialing one of the very few numbers I’ve committed to memory.
Cole answers on the first ring, his panicked voice loud and clear. “Where is she? Have you found her?”
I smile. I almost sob. “Are you referring to me, brother?”
“Jesus. I’ve been fucking worried. What happened? Are you safe?”
I close my eyes, fighting the burn.
I want to tell him everything. All the secrets. All the lies. All the deception our father has intricately woven into our lives.
“I’m—”
A loud crack of noise draws my attention to the back of the house. Sebastian stands there, the door wildly swinging back toward him as he stares at me, wide-eyed, shoulders tense.
I swallow at the defeat I see in his features.
I’m betraying him again. I’m hurting him.
�
��Everything is okay, Cole.”
Sebastian descends the stairs in one leap and storms toward me, his stride menacing.
“Where are you?” Cole asks. “Why the fuck haven’t you called?”
My heart lodges in my throat as Sebastian uses one hand to bound over the fence, coming to an overbearing stop right in front of me.
“I’m safe,” I say into the phone. “Decker is looking after me.”
His chin hitches in defiance as he stands tall, the pain of my deception evident in his eyes.
“We didn’t mean to worry you,” I continue. “But we had to get off the grid. We had a tail.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. We lost them outside Newport.”
“Where are you now?”
“I don’t know that either. And I think it’s best if I don’t say anything more over the phone.”
Sebastian’s chest rises and falls with harsh breaths as he remains ramrod straight. I want to reach out and touch him. I have to ease the heartache. But what I’m going to say to Cole is far more important.
“You’re upset,” my brother growls. “I can hear it in your voice.”
“It’s just good to speak to you. And I miss home. I can’t wait to see Layla and Stella.”
“It’s more than that, Keira. Tell me what’s going on.”
My hand trembles as I lower the phone to press the speaker button. Sebastian needs to hear this.
“You’re right.” I clear my throat. “Something is going on.”
Dark eyes turned panicked as they stare down at me. Concern is written into every inch of him—his posture, his expression. I have to ignore it all and forge forward.
“I need to tell you something.”
Sebastian makes a grab for the phone.
I dodge, holding up a hand as I mouth a plea for him to wait. “Please.”
He bares his teeth, his nostrils flaring while he fights against trusting me.
“Cole…” I turn away, facing the sun. “I…” The words stick in my throat. Clogging. Choking.
I’m about to change everything. I’m going to flip this script on its ass, and I’m not going to know if it’s the right decision until it’s already too late.
I fill my lungs to capacity, the tortured breath stabbing through my lungs, bearing down on my stomach. “I love him.”
Silence reigns. Nobody utters a sound at my admission.
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